Chúi on this!
by Franzibald
Summary: After a terrible mix-up with Happosai, Ranma is manipulated into becoming a weapon of pure destruction. Can the rest of the Nerima crew, and in particular, Shampoo, save the pigtailed martial artist before it’s too late?
1. Hammer Time

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own the rights to the works of Rumiko Takahashi, I am simply writing this for my sheer enjoyment.

**A/N: I would just like to formally tell everyone before they read this, that that my entire story is based on the title, and I am just free-balling everything else.**

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It was a bright, shining Sunday in the Nerima ward of Tokyo. The early afternoon sun beamed down upon its inhabitants; all the while, birds sang, bees buzzed, and children played outside. Generally speaking, it was a picturesque day… with the exception of a certain panty loving thief. Happosai was, at the moment, being chased by a rather irate looking Ranma.

"I ain't letting you get away you old letch! I don't know what you think you're doing with one of the old Ghoul's magic thingies, but tryin' to cast a spell on me means you're getting a poundin'!" Was the exclamation the pigtailed martial artist made, who was hot in pursuit of his target.

"Now, now, Ranma my boy, is that any way to treat such an exalted martial arts master like myself? I was only trying to assist in furthering your training!" Replied the diminutive panty thief, but silently though, he was cursing himself. The orb of transmutation was supposed to change any person that it is used upon into the wielder's perfect tool. He had remembered he had the old thing only but a few hours ago, when he found a scroll discussing it while he was rummaging around Cologne's old things in a bit of nostalgia.

'_Why_ _that stupid piece of paper… I knew that little ball was useless from the start!'_ he mentally simmered. '_It's not fair! If that thing worked, I could have finally molded Ranma into becoming the __**proper**__ heir to the Anything Goes School of martial arts!_'

"More like you're tryin' to mind control me or somethin'! I swear when I get my hands on you…"

Ranma's threat though was sadly interrupted by the high pitched clangs of a bicycle's bell, as well as the affectionately energetic tones of a familiar Chinese Amazon yelling, "Airen!"

Distracted by his chase, the Saotome prodigy only had a few moments to turn his head and give this following thoughtful reply.

"Huh?"

…Just as Shampoo's bicycle hit him smack dab in the forehead. Almost instantly, he found himself meeting the not so sweet embrace of the concrete ground below him.

Coming to a halt, Shampoo stared down at her wayward husband, a look of mild embarrassment on her face. "Aiyah! Shampoo too, too sorry Airen!"

Her mouth though formed a small mischievous smile. "Come here. Shampoo make it all better." her voice gaining a mildly sultry tone to it.

Quickly, before he could think, Ranma was caught in another kind of hold. He absentmindedly noted that this one though was far softer. Within seconds he snapped out of his dazed state, only to realize that he was face first in the purple haired Amazon's breasts.

Struggling to break free, Ranma, in frustration, exclaimed, "Damn it Shampoo! Let go! I gotta get movin'! That old freak's getting' away! Besides, you should be helping! He stole something from your Grandmother didn't he?"

A look of confusion graced Shampoo's face as she released her Airen from her tight grasp. She _was _going to ask Ranma to take her out on a date, but this sounded like a far more pressing matter. "Old pervert man stole something from Great-Grandmother?"

"Err, uh yeah, I think so. At least he said it was from the Amazons, just before he tried to use it on me! It didn't work though. He called it the orb of… transploitation or somethin.' Anyway, if it's from the Amazons then it must be the Old Ghoul's."

He averted his gaze from Shampoo for a moment to look off in the direction that Happosai went in. "I dunno what it does, but it couldn't have been good!" was his reply, said quickly while hopping from one foot to the next in a display that he was in a hurry.

"Aiyah! Shampoo been too, too busy, making deliveries all morning," Shampoo responded, a thoughtful look of worry surrounding her. "Should go check on Great-Grandmother and see if she all right."

"Uh, yeah, you go and do that. Igottarun!" Ranma stated, racing off into the distance.

Shampoo snapped out of her reverie to wave goodbye to her husband. "Bai bai Airen! Come to Cat Café soon and Shampoo cook you up too too good lunch!"

* * *

As Ranma raced onward in an attempt to catch up to the perverted martial arts master, he started to feel small bits of fatigue encompass his body. He shrugged it off thinking it must have been from the mild concussion he probably obtained from being rammed head first into a bike.

Continuing on, he quickened his pace, an annoyed look overtaking his face. '_That old perv' is probably long gone by now. I can't sense his ki anywhere!_'

'_Damn_ _it Shampoo! Why'd ya have to go and mess things up! I almost had him!_' He let out a quiet sigh. He knew it wasn't exactly her fault; she didn't know that he was in the middle of doing something.

'_At least she took the time to say hi to me; that was nice of her, even if it did mean getting beaned in the head. Heck, I've taken a lot worse from Akane on some occasions._'

'_Akane…_'

That name elicited another sigh from the pigtailed martial artist's mouth. '_Things haven't exactly been __**bad**__ between us recently__._ _It's just that ever since that stupid wedding nothin's really changed up. It's just the same old routine that we've been going through for ages now._'

He shook his head. '_I mean__,__ I guess I do lo...lo…like her and stuff, but things are just so friggin' complicated. I'm not sure if I'll ever figger out a way to make things work out between everyone without messin' it up._'

'_I mean look at Shampoo…_' Her plight often vexed him the most out of all of his fiancées. '_If I don't marry her, then that means she can never go back to her home._' His brow furrowed. '_There's gotta be some way to get her out of that stupid oath. Maybe…_'

As all of these thoughts passed through his head, a light sense of numbness coated over Ranma's body. It was hardly noticeable at all and with the task at hand already taking his priorities, as well as various absentminded feelings and ideas floating around in his mind, it went completely ignored.

'_Ucchan_ _I think would probably be the simplest to deal with. She's a pretty reasonable person__.__ I bet if I coughed up enough money to pay off the dowry she'd be willing to call off the engagement._' He gave a snort at that.

'_S'not like I could make enough to actually do that, anyway__.__ Nabiki would probably __**tax**__ me on it or somethin'. Still, if it could work…_' Ranma slightly shook his head. '_It doesn't matter though__.__ I don't think I could figure out a way to do it without hurtin' her feelings and cause her to not want to be friends anymore…_'

Stopping in his tracks, Ranma sighed for the third and what he hoped would be the last time for the day. "I've lost im.' Guess I'll have to give the old letch a pounding the _next _time I see him." Feeling at least slightly better for the thought, Ranma shrugged. Preparing to make his way back to the dojo, he stopped abruptly as the mildly loud sounds of his growling stomach filled his ears.

"Ah geez, I was so busy with Happosai I didn't get to eat breakfast! Must be why I'm feelin' kinda weird. I guess I'll take Shampoo up on her offer for lunch after all." He figured he could kill two birds with one stone that way. He'd get a free meal, plus he could tell the Old Ghoul that Happosai got away with that orb thing of hers.

As he made his way on over to the Cat Café at a rather brisk pace, Ranma began to notice various strange sensations all over his body. For a brief moment he felt a harsh chill go up him but it then quickly subsided and soon he felt as though he was in an oven. "Ergh… what the heck's up? Feel's like I ate Akane's cooking or somethin'… Man it's like a sauna in here… Gettin' hit by a bike shouldn't cause me to feel like _this_…"

Stopping to catch his breath for a moment, it quickly turned to him gasping for air. "Somethin', somethin' ain't right," he exclaimed. Slowly inching himself closer, he realized that the restaurant was only a few minutes away at most. "The old Ghoul… she'll know what's up…" Ranma gasped out, finding it increasingly hard to breath.

Continuing on at a significantly slower pace, Ranma absentmindedly felt that gentle numbness from earlier begin to overtake him. Barely even a few steps away from the entrance to his destination now, Ranma struggled to keep moving but dropped to his knees, sapped of all remaining energy. A shuddering grunt was the last statement he made before he passed out face first onto the ground.

* * *

"Honestly, that old fool has to put his hands on everything!" were the words spoken by an annoyed and mildly distraught Amazonian Elder. "I look away for five minutes and he rummages through half my worldly possessions!"

"I guess I'll have to get Mr. Part-time to come clean this mess up after he gets back from his mid-morning deliveries. Still, it doesn't make up for having to be closed for the day to recheck inventory," she stated, looking over the ransacked storage room before her.

"Shampoo so sorry she wasn't here when old pervert man come Great-Grandmother," was Shampoo's reply, said with a genuine, almost catlike smile on her face. "Though Shampoo did see Ranma and he say that he go after him! He say old pervert try and cast spell on him…" she also stated, her smile turning into a small frown of worry.

Cologne's ear's perked up at this. "Spell? What kind of spell?"

"Oh! Airen say pervert man try and use orb of trans- trans… trans-something!" Replied Shampoo, brow furrowed.

The wizened elder's eyes grew large. "No, no he wouldn't, that's… Shampoo, do you mean the Orb of Transmutation?'

Shampoo's frown deepened at the old woman's reaction. "Yes, he say it was something like that…" she once again responded. Her voice then grew slightly smaller. "What is it?" she asked.

The old woman's face grew consternated. "No… there's no way Happy could have figured out how to use it! Unless…"

The elder rushed forward and ripped off a small detachable piece of floorboard. "No, there' no… I was too busy trying to go over what things I _thought _he would put his grimy mitts on for me to think he would actually go for something like _that." _As she was saying this she recovered a small, currently unlocked box of what would appear to be various old papers and scrolls, though right now they looked to be scattered and misaligned "No! That _idiot_!" she exclaimed, her wrinkled face turning hot with rage.

"But Great-Grandmother… What is 'Orb of Transmutation'?" Shampoo asked, not liking the look the elder Amazon had one bit. "Is Airen in trouble?"

Sighing, the old woman started, "The Orb of Transmutation _was_ a powerful Amazonian artifact that was used several hundred years ago during times of war, but like many of our treasured relics, it was stolen the day Happosai ransacked Nǚjiézú." She paused in her description for a moment and stated, "Maybe…" and then began rechecking the surrounding storeroom in hopes of finding her lost document.

"As I was saying, the orb is special in that when used on someone, it transforms them into the wielder of the tool's most proficient weapon," Cologne explained while going through various boxes and supply crates. "We used it to win various definitive battles by transmitting several of our Amazonian sisters."

"But… Great-grandmother… Why would you turn Amazon sisters into weapon?" asked a questionable Shampoo. "It just mean one less warrior on battlefield…"

Cologne stopped for a moment and let her frown briefly falter as she took pride in her great-granddaughters' quick thinking before answering; "Many have asked questions like that but war is never as simple as mere numbers. Using the orb was a tactical decision and wasn't useful for every situation. You see, the spell the artifact casts concentrates all of a warriors' ki into a condensed, deadly form. If you had a powerful enough combatant, a single blow could topple entire mountains!" she exclaimed while pushing several boxes out of her way.

"It's not exactly as inhumane as it sounds either. From what I saw of them in battle, the warriors stay sentient in their weapon form and could even use their ki to create a voice for themselves. From the brief glances I personally saw when I was younger, they also acted as if they could see, hear and comprehend their surroundings somehow. My knowledge though of just what the transformed are truly capable of is limited." Cologne stopped in her search to look towards her Great-Granddaughter, who was enraptured by what she was being told.

"Regardless, after the battle was won we would use the orb to transform everyone back to their original state," the Matriarch stated, finishing her lecture as she started rummaging through another box.

"Wow… it sound too, too, powerful," Shampoo stated. "It must have been great shame to lose."

Cologne shook her head. "Honestly dear, out of all the things Happy took from us, I think losing the orb was a bit of a blessing."

Shampoo face grew inquisitive. "But why, Elder?"

The old woman stopped her search once again, a far off look in her eyes. "…Because sometimes, we wouldn't win."

Shampoo felt as though the room around her chilled. She knew she would probably regret it, but she had to ask. "What that mean for weapon-people?"

Cologne shook her head and finished closing up the last remaining unchecked crate. "The human body can only last for so much time in such an unnaturally forced state. Without a proper ki based vessel, along with the constant strain of maintaining its unusual form, the weapon's life force would drain out of it, eventually killing the altered person. The whole process can take up to a month and can be quite degrading from what I have been told. We had many issues with turncoats who would tell Amazonian secrets to our enemies, believing they would be relieved of their limited form…."

Eyes widening, Cologne turned towards a corner of the room. She hopped on over and picked up what looked to be balled up, ratty piece of paper. Unfolding it, her fears were answered as she glanced over the instruction manual to the Orb of Transmutation. "There's no denying it; Happy in the very least _looked_ at the scroll. Shampoo! If Happosai _did _cast the spell on Son-in-law, then we must get to him soon!"

Shampoo looked towards her elder and responded, "But Great-Grandmother! Airen say spell no work on him! He look okay too! Ranma be all right, yes?"

Cologne let off a 'hmph', and answered, "If that idiot somehow actually used the incantation properly, then son in law is in grave danger," she stated but her voice quickly rose in volume as fire filled her eyes.

"That old stupid fool… I bet he didn't even read the thing all the way through! For the spell to complete properly, the touch of another human being is required. It's needed to align the transformation for what would best work in tune with that particular warrior's strengths." Turning to her granddaughter, she asked, "Quickly Shampoo, did you see him touch anyone?"

Shampoo's skin grew paler by the moment. "Gr-great-grandmother… Sh-Shampoo hug him when we talk…." her voice lowered to barely a whisper.

"Damn! Well, I suppose it is to be expected. You may not have even been the first to make contact with him. It doesn't matter now though, we've got to find Son-in-law and get him to safety before he endangers himself!"

* * *

As the two rushed outside, prepared to go searching for the pigtailed boy's ki signature, they were greeted by a sight. An unconscious Ranma lying collapsed on the ground.

"Airen!" "Son in law!" Shampoo and Cologne exclaimed nigh simultaneously, the former rushing towards him and stopping just before his body.

"Shampoo, hurry, get him inside!" The Amazonian Matriarch ordered.

The purple haired martial artist bit her lip. "But Grandmother, you say Airen shouldn't be touched…"

The elder Amazon shook her head. "It doesn't matter now; you yourself said that you had already hugged him earlier. Something's wrong though, the spell shouldn't cause any actual _physical _harm to the person like this." Cologne both stated and pondered at once.

Her fear quickly growing, Shampoo lifted up Ranma bridal style, (an arrangement he most certainly wouldn't have liked to be seen in) and rushed him off into the Cat Café.

Laying him across one of the tables, Cologne started a hasty examination of his current state but was halted when the boy gave off a low moan.

"Ugh… old ghoul, Shampoo… is that you guys?" Asked a rather dazed and confused Ranma who was currently attempting to sit up straight.

Cologne used her staff to gently push him back down. "Please, lay back son-in-law. You're injured; we're trying to help you." The old matriarch turned to her ward. "Shampoo, get me my enchantment tools from the storeroom!"

Shampoo nodded and was just about to rush off when Ranma let off a harsh yelp that had her stopping dead in her tracks.

"Husband!" She yelled out, turning to the pigtailed boy and clasping his hand tightly for a moment before a strange light started to form around the Saotome heir's now once again passed out body.

Cologne motioned for her Granddaughter to relinquish her hold. Shampoo did so, too enraptured by the sight before her to attempt to disobey. Snapping out of it for a moment, she realized something. "The supplies! Shampoo, go hurry and get them!"

She was halted though by her Grandmother's cane blocking her path. "It is too late now," she said, eyes hardened. "We must let the spell run its course or else we could injure son-in-law."

Shampoo stopped and looked in fear at her would be spouse. The light continued on, eventually covering Ranma completely. Absentmindedly, Shampoo would note that if it wasn't for the fact that her Airen was in danger, she would think the sight was quite a pretty one to behold. It got to the point though for both of them that the light became far too bright to directly look at and they had to turn away. Moments later, a final burst of energy shot forth from Ranma's form and the brightness in the room dissipated.

Once both were able to stand the current state of luminosity in the room, Cologne and Shampoo turned themselves back to Ranma. What greeted them though left the purple haired Amazon aghast.

Lying on the table wasn't the form of a martial artist, but two individual chúi, or Chinese battle hammers! Both were exactly the same in terms of shape but were made distinct by their coloring. One had its top painted in black while the other's ball portion was painted in a fiery red.

"Ranma?..." called a distraught and confused Shampoo.

"Son-in-law?" Cologne asked just moments after. Both were completely unfazed at the fact that they were attempting to converse with a pair of bludgeoning tools.

"Wha?..." Was the noise made by the black topped hammer, its sound slightly modulated with a tinge of an echo added to it.

The other red topped hammer also gave the following intelligent response "Ehh?..." This voice though was quite different from the others. It was several octaves higher and sounded overall very female, though it too had a modified echo added to it.

The Amazon elder's eyes widened at this. "…Which one of you is Ranma?" asked a surprised, and mildly disturbed, Cologne.

For a brief moment there was silence, as if the two hammers were still trying to bring themselves out of a daze, but it quickly passed and the chúi with the male voice answered back, "I am!"

…Which was swiftly followed by the female sounding hammer responding with, 'Me!"

If it were at all possible for the two chúi to move right now they would be in the midst of a staring contest.

Cologne, for her part, felt a migraine coming on.

The female sounding Ranma chúi glowed briefly for a moment as two small lights of ki formed on the upper bludgeoning portion of the tool, taking a shape that looked almost like two eyes. It greatly humanized the item. It pointed its newly formed optics towards Cologne and spoke up before anyone else could say anything. "What the hell's goin' on here ya old mummy? Why can't I move? Am I in a cast or somethin'? And who the hell's this other guy sayin' he's me? And where is he, anyway? I don't see im' anywhere around!"

"Hey! Who you calling 'this other guy'?" the hammer that sounded like Ranma's male form asked, "hmphing" in response. It too having formed a pair of ki 'eyes'. "I'm Ranma! You can't be me! I don't know where you are, but _you_ sound like a _girl_! And Ranma Saotome _ain't _no girl!... Well, most of the time."

"Quiet! Both of you!" stated Cologne, in an attempt to calm the situation. "Now listen… Ranmas, it seems like there's been a bit of a mix up."

"Just tell me what's goin' on, yah old ghoul!" exclaimed the male chúi.

Ignoring the insult, Cologne pressed forward. "Now, sons-in-law?..." She shook her head and continued on, "It appears that the spell Happosai used on you seems to have actually worked… he just simply forgot to personally add the last 'touch', so to speak." She then gave off a cough. "Right now, at this moment, you are a pair of chúi, or Chinese battle hammers."

Silence filled the room before a shocked female Ranma started, "Wa-wait, I'm a pair of _hammers_? WHY THE HELL AM I A PAIR A HAMMERS YA OLD MUMMY? And why the hell do I sound like my girl form? If I'm a friggin' hammer, I shouldn't have a gender! This doesn't make any sense at all!" ranted one red topped chúi.

If it could move, the black topped Ranma chúi would have nodded but instead opted to join in on the conversation with a brief agreement, "Yeah! What she said!" Having nothing else to really add since its counterpart covered just about all the bases it would have… and then some!

A deep sigh was elicited from the Amazon elder. She then briefly gave the two transmitted weapons a rough explanation for what the Orb of Transmutation did, leaving out the whole part about dying within a month. She didn't want to cause any more duress between the two than was already had.

"So, Shampoo glompin' on to me caused me to turn into a hammer?" asked the, for simplicities sake, male Ranma.

"That still doesn't explain why I have to be a girl!" exclaimed the female counterpart. "Change me back!"

"Hold on, one at a time here!" Cologne commanded, eyes darting between both Ranmas. "Both of you! Now, as for the first question, the answer would be yes. Shampoo specializes in chúi; you've seen her use them before. Unless you touched someone who also practices a form of combat that uses them, I can't think of another explanation. "Though I suppose it doesn't even really matter at all at this point, what's done has been done."

Shampoo, who was currently silently standing next to her Great-Grandmother, had her head down. She then softly spoke, "Shampoo so, so sorry Airen. Shampoo didn't mean to hurt you! Stupid! Stupid!" she exclaimed, trying to hold off the small tears forming in her eyes.

"But you no worries, Great-Grandmother fix you up too, too quickly! Shampoo make sure!" Her face attempted to lighten up, but not before a small tear fell from her left eye directly on to the restaurant floor.

Putting her hand on Shampoo's shoulder in a sympathetic gesture, Cologne responded to the second question. "Of course. But as for why _you_," She pointed to the red topped hammer, "sound female, I _think_ it has something to do with your Jusenkyo curse. I don't believe we ever actually used the orb on victims of the cursed pools for fear of mixing two forms of transformation magic together. I'm not quite sure, but since most chúi are wielded two at once, it might have split you so a single chúi wouldn't hold each one of your forms. I can not be certain though; we are entering untested grounds."

"What happens when you fix me up?" asked the rather excited male Ranma. "Does that mean I ain't gonna have my cursed form anymore?"

"Wait! What about me?" was the question asked by the extremely horrified female Ranma. "I'm not gonna' be stuck as a girl am I?"

"Now, now, stay calm!" Cologne spoke up to quiet down the distressed weapons. "Before we even _attempt_ to answer anything, we need to get both your situations in order first. Alright Ranma, either of you, do you know where the Orb of Transmutation is currently? We need it to reverse the process."

The male Ranma responded, "Happosai's still got it. I ran after him once he used the spell, but…"

He was interrupted by his female counterpart, "He got away after Shampoo stopped me to have a 'chat'" Her voice sounding annoyed.

"Shampoo so sorry! Shampoo fix things! She no let all Airen's ki die out!" Her voice was sounding extremely distraught, but her face firmed in determination.

"Wa-wa-wait, what was that last part?" asked a slightly worried sounding male chúi.

Cologne felt her migraine worsen. "Now hold on, before we do anything else, we should contact Ranma's family and inform them of the situation currently going on," stated Cologne, a plan already forming in her head. She was just about to pogo hop over to the phone but right then, a tired looking Mousse walked in the front entrance.

"Shampoo! I have returned from my deliveries!" He exclaimed before putting on his glasses and noticing the drying tears on her face.

"My love! Who has injured you? Was it Saotome? When I get my hands on him…" His promise though was interrupted by a strange sound emanating from a nearby table.

"Ah geez, I really don't need this right now." Was the statement made by a voice that sounded suspiciously like Mousse's archenemy.

"You and me both…" replied a tone that was also eerily reminiscent of Ranma's female form.

The Chinese boy walked over to the table where he heard the sound, not seeing anything resembling the pigtailed martial artist's form at first. He attempted to wipe any bit of grime off his glasses with a handkerchief he kept on him and looked around once again. Not seeing anything but what appeared to be two of Shampoo's battle chúi, he turned to Cologne, a confused look in his eyes.

Not missing a beat, Cologne answered, "Son-in-law got transformed into a pair of sentient hammers."

Blinking a few times, an awkward silence filled the air. That was until Mousse, who for the moment seemed to have forgotten he had been running around the district carrying packages all morning, jumped up and exclaimed the following,

"YAHOO! Shampoo! My love! This is perfect! Now we can be together and-"

His rant though was cut off when Shampoo grabbed the black topped chúi and lightly smacked him against Mousse's face… which caused the blind boy to be shot forth through the roof of the Cat Café. The elder Amazon personally noted that if you looked close enough, just before impact, you could see a tiny burst of energy shoot out from Ranma.

Shampoo stared blankly for a few moments and blinked before lifting Ranma up to eye level and smiling. "Wow! Weapon-people _is _powerful!"

Cologne let off a sigh before looking up at the hole Mousse left in her roof, and attempted to exclaim the following to the most likely far flung boy, "That's coming out of _your _pay!"

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**A/N: Oh god, what did I **_**just **_**write? You know, I thought I would pop my proverbial fanfiction cherry with something at least a little more… substantial. Honestly, I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote this. I mean I just thought up the title and I rolled with it from there. **

**Anyway, as I just previously stated, this is actually my first attempt at publishing a piece of fanfiction, though I have been reviewing them, both with this account, and without it, for quite some time, so silently I'm critiquing every little fault I pick up in this story, whether or not I actually fix them. =P Anyway, I tried to keep the spelling as tidy as possible, but I'm sure I've missed some things here and there. Also, I'm not to sure about how I wrote Shampoo here, I hope I didn't make her out to look like a bad person. That would be really counter-intuitive to my plans. Oh well.**

**I don't know when this whole thing will update, I have a pretty basic outline in my head, and I already have an idea of what is going to happen next, so it may actually be pretty soon, it depends. **

**Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read this!**

**P.S. I'm well aware that chúi isn't pronounced "chew".**

**4/02/10 Revision: Attempted to fix rather obvious plot hole, as well as changed the outro to something I felt more fitting. Also did various spelling and formatting improvements.**

**7/24/10 Revision: Additional editing provided by R.T. Stephens Great work!**


	2. In which, much bickering was done

Disclaimer: I in no way own any of the rights to the works of Rumiko Takahashi, I am simply just writing this for my own enjoyment.

**A/N: I would just like to thank everyone for the reviews they gave me for this story, some of them were really quite helpful! Also, I did some alterations to the first chapter that will probably have a bit of an effect on future installments, so to make sure you're not lost, you might want to go skim over it again at some point.**

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A small group of people made their way in the direction of the Cat Café, with one Akane Tendo leading the charge. Following closely behind her were Nodoka Saotome, whose face had a consternated look upon it, and her husband, Genma, who appeared more or less annoyed than anything else.

The awkward silence between them was broken when Nodoka asked, "Akane dear, did that woman on the phone by chance give an explanation as to just _why _Ranma was in trouble? He ran off awfully quickly this morning after that big scuffle with Master Happosai."

Genma let off a huff "The boy should know better than to get in the way of the Master. If anything went wrong, it's his own fault!" he finished, crossing his arms together in an attempt to make a sage like gesture.

Ignoring the buffoon for the moment, Akane turned her head over to the older woman and replied, "Ms. Cologne didn't say anything specific. She told me that it would really be easier to 'just show us.' She talked about how it would make a lot more sense than explaining it over the phone." Akane just let off a low growl as she finished the remark. "Honestly, knowing that dummy, he probably did something stupid and now he needs us to bail him out." She clenched her fists tightly, and started again, "Why he's with _Shampoo _is what's leaving me wondering..." Her face turned slightly red at this, "I swear, if he does anything perverted!..." Her threats were left unstated, her emotions choosing rather wisely to have them be given off internally in her mind, than to make a scene for any passing bystanders.

Completely unfazed by the last comment, Nodoka grew inquisitive. "Shampoo? What an odd name… Is she one of Ranma's friends?" Her eyes lit up at this.

Akane's brow furrowed slightly, and started, "Umm, well, you see Auntie, it's sort of complicated…"

She was interrupted by the booming voice of Genma; "Ha ha! She's no one you should have to worry about dear! This Shampoo girl is just one of the _many_ women your manly son has seemingly charmed in his spare time! In fact, from what the boy told me, she was one of the girls who destroyed our beloved home!"

Nodoka let off a small gasp at this, remembering the incident where three young girls completely wrecked her house while fighting over Ranma. "Oh my! While I know that my son is manly, I most certainly don't want him to be around _that _type of woman!"

Genma grew a small, victorious smile. "Yes, yes, I agree completely! Now why don't you head back to the dojo and let myself and Akane here handle the situation?" He started making insisting gesture's as he placed a hand on his wife's shoulder.

"Ooh, but what if Ranma's hurt?" replied Nodoka, worry growing in her voice. "What kind of mother would I be if I just left him be alone in the care of someone who seems so dangerous?"

Genma wanted to yell out in frustration. _'I can't let her find out about Ranma's 'so called marriage' to that Chinese woman! It could completely destroy the arrangement I made with Tendo! My retirement is at stake!' _"Now dear, hold on…"

His scheming was put to rest when Akane gave him a light bop to the head. The fiery tempered girl had grown increasingly annoyed by the way Ranma's father was trying to manipulate the somewhat naive middle aged woman, to the point of where she just had to join in and stop him. "If Auntie wants to go see what's wrong with that idiot of a son of hers then let her. Don't you think you've kept her away from him long enough as is?" The blue haired girl's face grew quite intimidating after stating that, from Genma's perspective at least, as the bald man found that he faltered back a bit.

Akane let off a 'humph' and tipped her nose upward. "Besides, who cares if that Chinese bimbo is there? Knowing how _she_ works, I bet they are just exaggerating the situation for one of their schemes. We'll just go in, pick Ranma up, and deal with things from there."

Genma wanted to counter back but found that he was agreeing with her for the most part, so instead he gave off a small nod and let the whole thing drop.

Nodoka was currently quite confused, and for the most part, felt out of the loop. She wanted to continue with her questioning about this Shampoo character but feared that it might make the two of them start up again. She also noticed that not far off in the horizon was the Chinese styled building that Akane described to her just before they left (noting the human sized hole it was now sporting), so any further conversation would be cut short.

Silence once again filled the air, as the trio made their final approach to their destination.

* * *

Inside the Cat Café's storage room, Shampoo had moved herself and the two transmitted Ranmas away from the main room at Cologne's request and was attempting to lift the spirits of her companions by doting over the two chúi as she held both the male and female Ranmas in each hand. "Ranma chúi are too too strong! I no even hit Mousse hard and yet you knock him through roof!" Her face turned directly to the black one. "Just prove Ranma great warrior no matter what body he in!"

For the male chúi, if he could blush in his current state he would. As he was right now though, he simply just tried to absorb the small amount of praise from the comment and stammered out this response, "Well, uhh, gee, thanks I guess, Shampoo. I mean if I gotta be stuck like this for a while at least I'm not a complete weakling. Still, I wanna get back to bein' me, fast!"

Shampoo let off a determined nod before turning her head to the red chúi who just then drawled out the following response, "Ya know, I think what she said kinda works two ways for me," a tinge of sarcasm in her echoing voice.

Just prior to the events of this conversation, Cologne had attempted to pour hot and cold water on both of the two hammers to see if it would change up either of their states. If any alterations were somehow made internally it was not seen, as both continued to look and sound the same as they did since this whole incident started.

Shampoo's eyes grew sympathetic. "Is alright girl-Ranma-chúi! We fix you up, both of yous!"

The female chúi piped up, "Ya keep sayin'… But I got a lot on the line here! I don't wanna be stuck as a girl or somethin'!"

Cologne, who was currently attempting to make the rest of the restaurant somewhat more presentable for the oncoming guests, joined in, "I told you child, stop thinking about that! We've got to handle things one step at a time! Getting both of you back to being human is our top priority! We have no idea what will happen once we get the orb back. For all we know, the two of you may just meld back into one person." She stopped for a moment to consider, '_Which would raise __**far**__ too many ethical questions than I would like to think about right now.' _

Before their conversation could continue, they were interrupted by the entrance of three particular individuals. Nodoka and Genma Saotome, who were the invited, and Akane Tendo, who Cologne expected would show up regardless. The latter of the three was the first to initiate a conversation, "Okay, we're here, now where is he?" Akane said with her voice appearing unsurprisingly irritated.

Her question was followed by a more formal greeting from the Saotome housewife. "Ah yes, hello, I'm Ranma's mother, Nodoka," she said, concern filling her voice. "I was told my son was here and might be in some form of trouble. Is he alright?"

Cologne took appraisal of the woman before her, noticing the formal blue Kimono she wore, as it added to her already elegant appearance. Overall though she found that she looked quite similar to Ranma's female form, only a bit older, with a short cropped hairstyle. "Ah, hello Ms. Saotome, it is a great pleasure to finally meet Son-in-law's mother."

Nodoka blinked at this, before responding, "Son-in-law?..."

Cologne grew mildly surprised for a moment and gave off a cough before answering, "Well, it would seem like there is much to talk about indeed. Before that though, we have more pressing matters to attend to."

The Kimono wearing woman turned to her husband, giving him a look that said, 'What did she mean by that?'

"Ha! It's nothing; the old woman's gone senile!" Was Genma's response, just before receiving a bonk to the head from the Amazon elder.

"Shampoo, our guests have arrived," Cologne yelled over to her far younger ward. "Could you come here and bring Ranma?"

The purple haired Amazon walked out from her current position in the storage area and over to where the group of people had assembled, a hammer in each hand. "Nihao."

Akane grew slightly more on edge at the sight of the Chinese girl holding her weapons out so brazenly. While she didn't _appear_ to be looking to make trouble, she still found herself forming a loose fighting stance in defense. "Shampoo? What are you doing? Where's Ranma?"

Shampoo found herself growing a bit more anxious then she thought a proud Chinese Amazon should feel. "Umm, is complicated, but Airen right here!" The girl lifted both her arms upward in a demonstrative fashion.

The black chúi was the first to speak up, artificial eyes darting across his three familiars. "Uhh, hey Akane, Mom, Pops, hehe, how you guys doin'?..."

"I think they're _doin'_ a bit better than us," the female chúi stated, looking over to her counterpart for a moment, before starting up again. "Oh ah, hey there everyone."

Silence momentarily filled the room before Nodoka, in confusion, spoke the following "That's… Those?... Ranma?"

"Boy? What did you get into _this _time?" growled out Genma.

Akane's right eye started twitching for a moment before giving her reply. "Oh you've got to be kidding! You don't really think we'll believe that's Ranma do you?"

The female chúi spoke up. "It's really me Akane, err ah, _us_ I guess."

The blank hammer continued his counterpart's response. "Hey Old ghoul, can you just explain to them already what's going on?"

Before the elder could respond, Nodoka, after her initial confusion, regained her composure and marched on over to the two weapons. Unsure what, or which to directly look at, she choose to alternate between the top halves of the two tools for the moment, but before that, she gave a quick greeting to the girl holding them (which she recognized _was_ one of the people who damaged her house. She absentmindedly noted to give her a talking to later.) and then looked slightly downward again. "Are you _really_ my son?"

The black chúi was the first to respond. "Yeah, it's me Mom. Somethin' happened… I don't even really get it. But don't worry! The old ghoul is gonna be able to change me back real quick!"

"Don't forget about me," the red chúi added.

The Saotome matriarch focused her gaze upon the other, more brightly colored weapon, and blinked for a moment. "Umm, I suppose you would be …Ranko?"

For her part, the red hammer was holding off blowing a figurative gasket. She _really _didn't want to get into this; in fact, she didn't want to have any part of it at all. The red Ranma though attempted to maintain her composure in front of her Mother. "Umm, nope, no Mom, it's just Ranma, ain't no _Ranko_ here. The old ghoul can pretty much explain it all."

The wizened elder, who was mildly amused by the subtly annoyed tone in the girl's voice, gave off a cough. "Yes, we should get to it. I suggest you all take a seat for this. It may take a while."

After a bit of prodding and attempts at coercion, the assemblage begrudgingly took their seats as Cologne, Shampoo and the two Ranmas attempted to make sense of their whole predicament.

"So you're saying my son is like this because of Master Happosai?" questioned Nodoka, worry and anger filling her.

"Yeah, when I find the old freak I'm gonna pound his face in!" stated the male Ranma, his double entendre completely going over his head.

"Only if you get ta him first, I've got bigger issues with the guy than you do!" exclaimed the red hammer.

Genma finally decided to join in on the conversation. "I've warned you boy! You keep on insulting the master and things like this happen!"

"Oh _please_ old man! I ain't even _human_ right now and I've got more of spine than you!" stated the black chúi who was still being held in the right hand of Shampoo.

Before any of their bickering could worsen, Nodoka directed the following to the Amazon elder, "Excuse me Miss. Cologne, but if this "Orb of Transmutation" is with Master Happosai, shouldn't we be out and looking for him so we can get it and change Ranma back?"

The Chinese matriarch admired the woman's sensibility. "Yes, that is partially why I called you all here. If from what I understand is correct, the old fool is off running around the district somewhere. I was hoping we could start a search party."

The female chúi grew curious at that statement. "Hey old ghoul, I _thought _you were super powerful? Why can't you just hunt the old freak down by lookin' for his ki?"

Cologne wanted to bop the girl on the head but thought that striking out at a weapon would somehow be counterproductive. "As much as I hate to admit it, the old fool is almost as good as I am and as such, he knows how to conceal his spirit energy very well." She mumbled the next comment, "Probably from all the sneaking around he does to get women's clothing…" but once again raised her voice. "Regardless, we'll simply have to track him down the old fashioned way; on foot."

Akane, who had been stewing silently throughout the conversation in an attempt to absorb all the information, placed her hands against the table in a forward gesture. "Fine then, just give us Ranma and we'll go after the pervert. Isn't that _right_ Mr. Saotome?""

The elder Saotome patriarch nodded slightly, a look of anger, and a small amount of fear in his face. "You best show me some respect from now on boy! I'm really throwing myself on a grenade here!"

"Now come on." Akane made a gesture towards Shampoo and attempted to grab the two hammers from her.

The Chinese warrior pulled her arms away, holding the two chúi back. "No way! Why should pervert girl get Ranmas? She too too clumsy to use! She break many things!"

"Why you little!..." Akane yelled back. "Don't you think you've done enough? You're the reason he's a hammer in the first place! Show some humility!"

Noticing her Great-Granddaughter faltering a bit at the accusation, as well as the two Ranma's as of just now ill fated attempts to mediate the situation, Cologne let off a cough to get the lot's attention.

The two mobile girls turned to Cologne with the blue haired tomboy in particular looking annoyed. "I'm sorry Ms. Tendo but I don't think you understand just how dangerous the two Ranmas are in their current state. Shampoo, could you care to demonstrate?"

The lavender haired Amazon grew serious for a moment and looked around for something to use, but quickly let off a shrug, instead indicating that Akane (and the rest of the ensemble) move to the outdoors training area in the back of the Cat Café.

Once arrived, she pointed the red chúi at a currently stacked set of cinderblocks. "Akane see, Ranma- chúi too too powerful for _clumsy_ girl like you to use!" Before Ranma's reluctant fiancée could respond back, Shampoo did a downward strike at the blocks, completely shattering them and leaving nothing but dust in their wake. What left her surprised though was that the simple motion caused the concrete wall in front of her to collapse as well and caused extensive additional damage to the street beyond her.

A gasp could be heard coming from Mrs. Saotome while Genma's eyebrow seemingly couldn't stop twitching. Cologne was mumbling something about it coming out of what was left of Mousse's paycheck, and all the while Akane gave off a smug "humph" after seeing the sight. "_Well_, it seems like you can't use them to well _either_."

The black chúi responded "Yeah Shampoo, I think ya over did it a little."

"Sh-Shampoo still just getting use to how powerful Ranma- chúi is!" Was the reply given by the befuddled Chinese warrior. "Shampoo train in hammer weapon all her life, she know how to use them too too better then clumsy girl!"

Before anything could possibly escalate, Cologne joined in to intervene. "Enough! It's obvious, Shampoo, that you need to reassess the way you use these weapons, but as it stands she _is _the one best suited to wield them." She then turned her head to the young Tendo girl. "I'm sure I went over this earlier, but the Orb of Transmutation changes the intended target into an item that bests suits the holder, or at least whoever initiates the final procedure and in the end, that was Shampoo."

The red chúi, who was also mildly shocked at the destruction she caused, interrupted. "Who cares who get's to hold on to me or whatever? If we hurry, we can find the old freak by the end of the afternoon!"

The Black topped counterpart spoke in agreement. "Yeah! What are we doing just standing around! We need to get moving'!"

Akane grumbled slightly, before stating, "Fine! I _guess_ Shampoo can keep her grimy mitts on you for a while, if that's what you want, _pervert, _but don'tcome complaining to me that by the end of this that you're a mind washed zombie who's stuck as a girl!"

Nodoka, who was standing at the sidelines with Genma, started to converse with her husband. "My, my. Akane certainly does have a vivid imagination, don't you think dear?"

Genma, unsure how to act, probably did the smartest thing he could and remained silent.

Cologne turned her head to both Shampoo and Akane. "So it's settled then. Shampoo will, for the moment, be the one to keep Ranma safe and secured until either of them are converted back to their original forms."

Shampoo stuck her tongue out at the youngest Tendo daughter, only to receive an indignant look from Akane as she clenched her fists together.

The male Ranma started up again, "Guys, can we _please _just start to get a move on? I really don't wanna be stuck like this overnight!"

The red chúi agreed. "That goes double for me!"

Eyes darting to his counterpart, the black top chúi drawled the following in an annoyed manner, "Ya know, you act like you got it a lot worse than me, but it's not like ya can really tell you're a girl. It's just your stupid voice that dif'rent."

The female Ranma growled, "Yeah, well, I'd like to see _you_ in my position!"

The one with the lower voice responded back, "I _am _in your position! Kinda… In a way I'm you aren't I?"

Their rambling continued on for almost thirty seconds before Shampoo, getting annoyed, put a stop to it by bonking the two chúi top halves together, creating a sharp "clang" sound.

The two hammers blinked their ki eyes, before the red one spoke up. "…That didn't actually hurt."

"Yeah, I guess I can't feel pain right now!" replied the male chúi.

Akane looked impatiently at them. "What, you couldn't tell when one of you had your metal skull smashed into a bunch of blocks?"

The red chúi replied back indignantly. "Hey! I was payin' a little more attention to the street I destroyed!"

Shaking her head, Cologne for the umpteenth time today tried to compromise another unstable situation. "Calm down female Son-in-Law. You just got done talking about wasting time, and yet here you are doing it yourself!"

Nodoka surprisingly joined in to the conversation. "I think Ms. Cologne is right. But still, what exactly should we do as of right now?"

The ancient elder turned serious for a moment, turning herself directly at the woman and gave off her battle plan. "Well, to put it simply, Shampoo, Akane, the two Ranmas, and your husband should group together and hunt down Happy." She stopped and turned to the particular individuals, noticing she was receiving inquisitive looks from a few. In an attempt to quell anything before it starts, she continued.

"I know splitting up, or something similar to that, may seem like the smart choice, but the old fool is still quite powerful and could most likely defeat any one of you in a fight with his tricks _if_ it has to come down to that. Add on to the fact that he still has the orb; he's more dangerous to any one of you than ever before. Together though, along with Shampoo's new powerful weapons, then there is a good chance that you people may be able to defeat him. Is that acceptable to you all?"

Akane darted her eyes to the old woman. "Hey! Why aren't you coming? If it's like you said, and Happosai is more dangerous now, we need all the help we can get!"

A general consensus of nodding was reached amongst the group, before Cologne replied, "You are indeed correct, in a way Ms. Tendo, but I need to stay back here and prepare my supplies for the reversal procedure. You also don't want to risk something happening to me, do you? I'm the only one who actually knows how to change your fiancé back."

Akane was about to speak up but was interrupted by the female Ranma. "Ah whatever, who even cares about whether or not the old ghoul over there gets to come? She's just chickenin' out! It doesn't matter anyway; we'll beat the old freak's face in, and then snag the orb back in no time!"

"It's saying things like that that got you into this in the first place, boy!" yelled Genma, who was still begrudging having to be in this situation.

Akane let off a groan and felt as though she was about to get a headache. "Fine then, let's just go!"

The black topped chúi speculated the following; "We should check out his usual haunts. The bathhouse is a safe bet. If he ain't there then maybe we should check the school; he could be there scrounging around fer some scraps of clothes a few of the girls might a left behind."

Shampoo smiled at her husband's surprising use of logic. "Okay Ranma, we go now!"

As the group of five made their way off on their district wide search, Nodoka turned to Cologne. "Ooh, I hope everything turns out okay for all of them."

The wizened woman answered back, "I'm sure it will. It always works out in the end." She stated sagely before turning to change the topic. "While I prepare my tools for the proper enchantment, I was wondering if we could possibly have ourselves a chat. I believe we have a few things we need to talk about."

The kimono wearing woman replied. "Ah, that sounds nice; I'll even make us some tea while you prepare your work."

"That would be lovely dear."

As the two women started to make their way into the Cat Café, Cologne stopped for just a moment, turning her eyes skyward.

"Is something wrong, Miss Cologne?" asked an inquisitive Nodoka.

Shaking her head, the elder replied, "No, it's nothing. I apologize, just my imagination."

As the two finally headed inside, if you paid close enough attention, a high pitched cackle could be heard off in the distance, echoing these words, "Come to me, my silky darlings…"

* * *

**A/N: Well there's the second chapter, sorry if not a whole lot happened, I still needed to set up this whole thing's plot. I intended for this part to only be the first half, but I noticed it was getting on to being around the first length of my first installment, so I decided to make a split.**

**I learned several things throughout this, namely, that I really need to work on how to write group dialog better. It's a lot harder than it actually looks. Honestly though, this chapter didn't take that long to write, the reason for the bit of the delay was that I've been a bit busy lately. I also attempted to do some brushing up on some of the manga, which I haven't actually read in a while.**

**Thanks for sticking around for this part. Now that I know that this whole thing wasn't just some oneshot idea I came up with, I'm thinking it's time I go looking for an editor, should make things a bit easier. Anyway, the next chapter shouldn't be **_**too **_**far off; I already have a general plan going for it. If anyone noticed any glaring errors in the plot or characterization, please let me know, as I'll try my best to correct them. **

**Until next time though, have a nice day!**

**4/13/10 Revision: Changed outro a bit in an attempt to add a bit more "oomph" to the whole thing.**

**8/04/12 Revision: Additional editing provided by R.T. Stephens. Great work!**


	3. A Happy hunt, and tea for two!

Disclaimer: I in no way own any of the rights to the works of Rumiko Takahashi, I am simply just writing this for my own enjoyment.

**A/N: Hello! I'm back once again for a third installment of this silly little tale I've written. I'll get a bit more into depth on things later on, but I would just like to thank everyone who reviewed, especially those who took the time to give advice on how I could improve this thing.**

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It was a normal, relatively quiet day for one Hisao Shimomura, a somewhat elderly man who was the manager of the Shimomura unisex bathhouse ("Family owned and operated since 1971"). Sure, his business wasn't exactly the most financially successful spot in the district of Nerima, hell it wasn't even the most popular bathhouse! But still, he and his family had managed to eek out a decent living for almost four decades now, so he had no real reason to complain. Being the equal opportunist he was though, Hisao was currently finding himself doing the rather mundane activity of playing receptionist at the front desk while the rest of his employees meandered about doing their respective tasks, and tending to their current patrons.

'_Yep, all things considered, it's been a pretty average day__. T__hough I really wish Ms. Mori didn't have to call in sick__. D__oing grunt work like this is __**mind**__-__**numbing**__!' _He let off a sigh. '_Just a few more years, then my son can take over this place.'_ Hisao was just about to begin to thumb through his third magazine of that afternoon when a loud eruption at the back end of the complex completely interrupted his train of thought. _'The boiler?' _

Rushing to where he thought he heard the sound, which oddly enough turned out to be the male side of the bathing area, Mr. Shimomura was greeted by an extremely peculiar sight. A purple haired young girl, who looked to be wielding two hammer-like objects, was standing on the rubble of what appeared to be his recently destroyed wall. Noticing that many of his male customers (and a few of the more adventurous females, who had come on over to the other side to see what the hell was going on) were currently in quite a state of shock and surprise, he realized he needed to take control of the situation before it got out of control.

The bathhouse owner was just about to ask the girl just what she thought she was doing when, before he could start, he was interrupted by the following line from her. "_Tiny pervert man_! Where _is_ you?" Shampoo said in a sing-song like voice, a searching look in her eyes. Her appearance completely contrasting the uncalled destruction she just caused.

Baffled by this question (as well as many of the patrons it seemed, who had snapped out of their individual reveries and realized there was a cute young girl standing right in front of their naked selves, leading to a few to make some rather lewd remarks) Hisao tried once more to speak up when he found himself completely lacking the ability again after he witnessed, to his great surprise, the hammer in the girl's right hand start to talk. "Damn it Shampoo! Ya did it again! You really gotta watch out, someone could'a gotten hurt!"

Shampoo, looking around at the damage she caused, (As well as the various naked men) started to blush a bit, and turned her head slightly away. "Aiyah! Shampoo sorry! She only want to make surprise attack, she didn't mean to make such big hole!" She attempted to backtack, a mild grimace on her face as she tried to get this done quickly. "Umm, Shampoo is looking for _really_ tiny pervert person... any of you peoples seen him?"

A variety of various catcalls were elicited from the patrons after Shampoo made this question, most of which she didn't understand, but somehow knew they were of a sexual nature. Still, her ears did perk up a bit when one person in the crowed made a remark about giving _her_ a tiny pervert.

Hisao, who on his part, had just now managed to get his thoughts in order, took a step forward and gained a rather indignant look upon his face. "Tiny pervert- A- anyone seen- What…WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING LADY? You just destroyed half my god damn building! Who's gonna pay for it?" The elderly owner shouted.

Before the lavender haired Amazon could reply, both Genma and Akane jumped in, deciding finally to make their appearances, each of them looking to be quite out of breath. The latter of the two starting up with a huff, "Shampoo! Just where do you get off running ahead like that?"

"Yeah!" The gasping head of the Saotome household replied. "*huff* The old woman said *huff* we're supposed *huff* to stick together!"

The red chúi was the first to come to the Amazon's defense. "Hey! It ain't her fault if ya two slowpoke's can't keep up! We've been lookin' around for hours now! We're burnin' daylight!"

As this statement finished, the owner of the bathhouse let off an exasperated cough… which was swiftly ignored by the bickering lot.

The black chúi added to their conversation. "Yeah, we've gone to three bathhouses so far, and the old freak ain't in any o' them! At least Shampoo's tryin' ta get this over quickly."

Hisao, his left eyebrow twitching, once again let off an attention getting cough. Only this time, much louder. "So, _miss,_ I assume these are friends of yours? Are _they _going to be dealing with the damage to my wall?"

Still, he was ignored.

Akane 'hmphed' at the black hammer's remark, and replied back. "Oh _really_ Ranma? I'd of thought you'd _love_ to have that bimbo's hands all over you?"

At this time, many of the on-duty staff members were attempting to have the patron's dressed and evacuated out of the building while their boss handled the situation. Though one of the more nonchalant stragglers, who was just now was finishing putting his clothes on, attempted to give off the following snark filled remark; "Oh yeah, she's _really_ workin' the shaf-."

Before the statement could be finished, he was quickly rushed outside.

Getting completely infuriated at the madness happening around him, Hisao's now utterly rage filled voice exclaimed the following, "DAMN IT! IF I DON'T GET SOME ANSWER'S HERE, I'M CALLING THE POLICE!"

Finally garnering their attention, the ensemble of five turned to him, looks ranging from annoyed, to inquisitive. Mr. Shimomura let off one final throat clearing cough and then started. "You!" He pointed to Genma. "You're an adult! You're obviously with them; that mean's you're responsible for their actions! Now, are you going to help pay to fix the damage done to my business, or will I have to get the authorities involved?"

Genma, for not the first time today, was cursing the Chinese Amazon woman (as well as his son, but to a slightly lesser extent). He didn't even want to be here in the first place! He was honestly only helping out of the goodness of his heart! '…_Besides, having a hammer for a son wouldn_'t _make for much of an heir. Still, __**I**__ wasn't the one to destroy the wall! I __**really**__ don't deserve this!' _Spotting out of the corner of his eye an unused filled up bucket of water, right down near the slightly rubble filled bathing area, he quickly dashed and dumped it over his head, transforming himself into a rather large panda bear.

At this point, the bathhouse owner's mind partially shut itself down. He realized that all logic and reasoning, nay, his very understanding of how the universe worked, was wrong, as just in front of him, a black and white Chinese bear was chewing on a tire (that it somehow materialized) as well as holding a up a sign that read, ""Ignore me. I'm just a cute cuddly little panda bear.""

"That's it, you know what? Forget you people, I'm calling the cops! They'll get this all sorted out!" Was the owner's reply, as he swiftly marched off to call the authorities.

The purple haired girl was the first to start up after the man's rant. "Umm, Shampoo not sure, but she think we should go now. Airen agree, yes?"

The black chúi answered back; "Yeah, the old freak ain't here anyway, and I think that guy's really pissed."

The red hammer continued; "Uh-huh, we got enough things ta deal with. No need to make this any more complicated an' stuff."

Akane let off a nod. "For once Shampoo, I think we can agree. You've caused enough trouble here as is."

The obsidian hammer interjected before thing could fall apart, "Umm, maybe we should check the school? All we've been to is bathhouses and junk…"

The female Ranma finished, "…And it's not like that's gotten us anywhere."

Shampoo nodded. "Okays Ranma's! That's too too good idea. We go now!"

Just as she was about to run off, Shampoo found herself grabbed by the furry paw of Genma, who lifted her on to his shoulder's, much like someone would to a small child. Once done, he scribbled out the following on several signs; ""Oh no you don't! No more running off! I'm tired as is! You stay up there till we reach the school!""

Shampoo grew mildly annoyed and was just about to complain, when the red Ranma butted in, "Fine! Whatever Pops! Just get goin' already. If that guy ain't bluffin', the cops'll show up soon! And do you _want_ a one way trip to the zoo?" She paused before an idea grew in her head. "Or _worse_, actually havin' ta pay for the damage here?"

Eyes widening, Genma burst forth, right into the general direction of the school and, more importantly, away from where he currently was! Amazingly, in a show of the Saotome School's ultimate secret technique, Genma was going at almost twice the pace Shampoo had been before she stopped at her current destination.

For the red Ranma, if she could smirk, she would. Instead, she simply decided to enjoy the ride with the following thought passing through her mind a few times. "_It's __**all**__ about motivatin' 'em. I bet'cha if I told him there was a buffet goin' on down there we'd be at the school already!_"

Still standing back near the rubble of the building, Akane blinked a few times before mouthing the following, "Oh you've got be… I don't... Just..." Finally coming to the realization that she had been left behind, the blue haired girl started to growl before exclaiming the following, "WAIT UP YOU IDIOTS!" and ran off after the quartet.

Off hidden away in his manager's office, Hisao sighed, having just heard everything. He had called the police, and they were _supposed_ to be on the way, but he doubted they would get there in time to catch up with the raving lot. Grumbling a bit, he pondered this internally; '_I wonder if my insurance covers insane lavender haired martial artists?'_

_

* * *

_

Inside the Cat Café's storage room, away from where any passersby could glance in, Cologne was making preparations for the reversal procedure, should the search party come back triumphant. Though she didn't know the process by heart, the instructions given on one of her manuals proved that, as a whole, it was rather simple. Merely just a basic transmogrifying circle, some herbal incenses, (Used mostly to keep the transmitted calm and relaxed) and an easy to memorize chant. '_Thankfully the person who designed this knew that they wouldn't get many people volunteering to be transformed if the way to change back was some long convoluted mess__,__' _She pondered. Sadly though, from what she could tell, the one catch was that the orb itself was needed to cap the whole thing off.

The matriarch let off a 'hmph.' '_Quite_ _a bit of a fatal design flaw if you ask me__. T__his couldn't be the only way? Could it?'_ Letting off a low grumble, the old woman clapped her hands together. Everything was set up and ready to go for when the group got back; with only the incenses needing to be lit. Smiling slightly, she could finally get to the real reason she didn't join the rest of them on their hunt. She knew it was a bit of a risk, but actually having the opportunity to partake in a conversation with Son-in-Law's mother was not a chance she would give up so easily. Cologne was greatly shocked at the woman's admission of not knowing that, by Amazon law, Shampoo was technically married to Ranma. If she could explain to the woman, somehow get an in, then maybe things could possibly work out. Though she knew it would be a bit of an uphill battle.

Before her thoughts could continue, she was interrupted by Nodoka calling to her from the other room. "Ms. Cologne, our tea is ready!"

The elder replied back, "Alright dear. I'm just about finished here. You can feel free to take a seat wherever you want to." Double checking the set-up and making sure that everything was copasetic, Cologne nodded her head once and hopped on over to the main dining area where Nodoka had sat down two cups of tea on one of the tables. Eying the woman who had just taken her seat, she focused more on the blade that lay next to her. It was strange to see such a prim and proper housewife carry a weapon like that around, but she didn't get to contemplate it too much when Ranma and the others were still in the restaurant. But without the zaniness of the situation to cloud her judgment, watching the clearly untrained woman wave it so freely was just _odd_.

Nodoka, for her part, tried not to stare as this peculiar woman pogo-hopped over to her, on what appeared to be a sort of cane. '_I suppose walking __**would**__ be a bit difficult at her age.'_ Not wanting to draw attention to where she was looking, the housewife started on a different subject. "Oh Miss Cologne, you have _such_ a lovely kitchen. You must have so much pride in taking care of it."

Cologne nodded. "Yes, I make sure to have one of my workers clean it once a day." Taking a moment to look around the slightly disarray restaurant, she started again. "I do apologize for the mess. As you can understand a lot has happened today," she said, taking hold of her tea cup.

Taking a small sip of her tea, Nodoka responded, "Mmm-hmm, this whole situation is quite confusing. What happened to my son just seems so… ridiculous. I apologize if that sounds rude."

"Not at all. Though you'd be surprised, things like this happen far more often than you would think." Cologne added, taking a slight drink from her cup.

"From what I've heard, and the little bit I've seen, I actually do believe you. It's just, well, there's so much to think about. For instance, even though she was a hammer, that _was_ Ranma's female side talking along with my son. I don't even know where to begin or what to think about with that…" Nodoka said, her brow now slightly furrowed.

Cologne let off a cough and tried to change the tide of where the conversation was going. "Yes well, we have to take things one at a time. I believe our best action, and the one both Ranma's seem to want, would be to simply use the transmutation orb and see how things pan out from there."

"But what if she-"

"Wondering like this will only cause an unneeded amount of stress and worry on you," Cologne interjected, taking a second sip from her cup. "Trust me; I've dealt with situations like that all my life, a lot of them much stranger than this one."

"Oh? You have stories of things stranger than _this?_" Nodoka inquisitively asked._ "_I'd love to hear them."

"Maybe some other time. Miss Saotome, there _is _something that I would like to talk about with you today in particular. If you don't mind, that is." Cologne stated in an attempt to change the subject, hoping that she wasn't being to out and out forceful. She had an inkling that Nodoka was the type that could go on for hours and never actually say anything of meaning.

Blinking a few times, Nodoka put on a slight smile. "Oh, that's right. You said something to that effect earlier! And here I am rambling off like that. I'm sorry… Though what exactly is the issue?"

Bowing her head slightly and sighing, Cologne tried to think things through; this needed to be handled delicately. "Well, you see, roughly a year or so back, your son and husband traveled to the village I originated from and caused a bit of a ruckus, so to speak." She started, placing her cup back on the table.

"Ooh? Did my son cause some trouble…? I hope it wasn't anything unmanly…" Nodoka both pondered and stated, all the while her hand absentmindedly moved to the katana that always lay by her side.

The Amazon matriarch waved her off. "No, it was more of a… surprise. You see, on the day of his arrival there was tournament going on. My Great-Granddaughter was poised to win the whole thing when your son, at the time, daughter, swooped in and defeated my Shampoo."

"Oh! Umm, is that a bad thing?" Nodoka asked in a surprised tone, nevertheless taking a drink from her cup.

"Well, there was some confusion regarding your son's curse, but once that was all settled out, then no." Cologne stated, dancing around the whole part about Shampoo spending weeks on end hunting Ranma in an attempt to kill his female form. "You see, by our laws, when a man defeats a woman in combat, she is legally bound to him."

"Bound to him? So… I'm sorry, but, what _exactly_ are you saying?" Nodoka asked, mildly befuddled.

Cologne did not like the tone in the woman's voice. "Ah, well, what I am saying is, legally, by Amazon decree, your son Ranma, and my Great-Granddaughter Shampoo, are married."

* * *

Elsewhere in the district of Nerima, a rather peculiar sight could be seen rushing along the streets. A black, white, and oddly enough, purple blur was making its way towards Furinkan High while doing its very best to avoid contact with any buildings, stands, or civilians. For those with a keen enough ear, they could vaguely make out the purple part of the blur exclaiming the following, "Faster, Panda-man! Go! Go!"

A smaller, less noticeable red blur added on to the purple ones comment, "Yeah pops, hurry up! This is the only lead we got left to find the old freak!"

As the moving blast of color and shades shot off into the horizon, various onlookers and passerby stopped and attempted to contemplate just what they saw. Comments such as "What the hell was that?", "Were those people?" and "These streets just aren't safe any more," resonated throughout the confused, small crowd.

This would have continued on for moments longer had not an elderly fellow of indeterminate age tapped his walking cane loudly on the sidewalk, before waving it towards the group of people and, with a wrinkle filled smile, spoke up, "That which you have just witnessed, was a purple haired young girl who appeared to be of Chinese descent, riding on the back of a giant panda while waving around a pair of bludgeoning tools, one of which appeared to be able to talk."

He stopped for a moment to watch as another young woman sped off right by the crowd, quickly yelling, "Come back here you stupid idiots!" before running in the same direction the panda went.

"And that right there looked to be a rather irate acquaintance of the Chinese girl." He finished off with a 'matter-of-fact' nod. "Any other questions?"

An awkward silence filled the air as a mixture of different individuals starting gossiping amongst themselves.

"Poor guy's gone senile…"

"Eww, I hope I don't end up like that!"

"Mommy? Why did that old man say those things?"

With a twitching eye the elderly fellow exclaimed the following, "I'm not crazyya ignorant morons!"

* * *

"I-I'm sorry, but, what did you say?" asked Nodoka, mildly shocked, to the point of placing her tea back on the table. "Married? To-, to your Granddaughter?"

Cologne straightened her visage to a neutral look. She needed to show that she was completely serious, but at the same time she didn't want to scare off the woman. "…Yes, it is part of our Amazonian law. You see, when a strong outsider male defeats one of our own, they are legally wed together after the kiss of marriage is administrated." Looking across at the other woman, and only seeing confusion, she attempted to mediate. "I know it can be hard to understand for someone not from our tribe, but it has been this way with us for ages..."

Nodoka's smile waned slightly and spoke up, "I-I'm sorry. This is just quite a lot to take in. Regardless of the particulars of the situation though, I wish I could have been informed of this at some earlier point. I will have to discuss why my son hasn't brought it up." Cologne looked at the other woman slight hopefully. "…But given the goings on right now, I really do not believe this would be the best time to talk about the matter. Don't you think? I mean, as you are fully aware, my son is a pair of hammers."

"I… understand Miss Saotome, _but_ I would really appreciate it if we could possibly go over things regardless. You see, there is another issue at hand here that I haven't gotten to." Taking a brief moment to take a breath, she continued, "Until my Great-Granddaughter can take her husband back to the Amazon village, and show that he agrees to the arrangement, Shampoo can never return to her home." Cologne hoped she could possibly play the sympathy card to slightly ease the tension.

Nodoka's face grew completely serious. "I do hope you understand that my son is already engaged to Mr. Tendo's daughter, Akane. I can't have him commit the act of polygamy… That would be honor less," she said, finding herself tightly gripping her blade. "It does seem like you have quite an issue here on your hands, but I'm afraid Ranma is already tak-"

Before the female head of the Saotome household could finish, Cologne interrupted, "Hold on! I'm sorry Miss Saotome, I do not wish to make you out to sound _ignorant_, but have you _seen_ the way Ranma and Ms. Akane act around each other? I can not really understand how a satisfying relationship could work out if they are always at each other's throats. Do you really think something like that is best for Ranma?"

Nodoka, at this point, was growing annoyed. While yes this woman _was _trying to help her son, she obviously had ulterior motives. Though she did not want to make her too angry, she needed to make sure her son was safe, and more importantly, human by the end of this. Still, with a wave of her hand she tried to counter Cologne's comeback. "Oh, they're just experiencing a few lovers' quarrels, something everyone goes through. I'm sure it's nothing that won't work itself out."

"Really? Can you be so sure of that? They've been together for almost a year already, and you yourself have seen how they act together first hand by living with them, so you would probably know better than me. Have you seen any improvements between the two at all?" Cologne asked, hoping to place the seeds of doubt in the other woman's mind.

"Oh course! While they do have their issues, it's nothing that simple maturation and age won't fix. I don't mean to be rude, but don't you think you're blowing their squabbles a bit out of proportion?" Nodoka asked. '_Honestly, who does this woman think she is? I put my trust in her to help my child out, and she's trying to use me? The nerve!' _"Besides, do your laws even have any sort of authority outside, or even _in_ your country? It would seem rather pretentious to force us to live by such arbitrary system. And do my son and this 'Shampoo' girl even have any form of a relationship?"

"…They've been through several ordeals together and certainly have gone on a few dates!" '_So to speak…' "_It's just that they haven't had much time alone together. I'm sure if they actually got to know each other, they would be the _perfect_ match." Cologne was playing dirty here. "Besides, from what Shampoo has told me, I do not believe Ranma has had any say with his arrangement with the Tendo's either, yet you seem quite adamant about that."

Nodoka rather forcefully placed her left hand on the table and lifted her still sheathed katana upward with the right. "That's different! _That _is a matter of honor that both my husband and Soun agreed to long ago; far before your predicament. I will have you know that Ranma, and one of Soun's daughter's, in this case, Akane, will be wed, and that's final!"

Eyes darkening slightly, Cologne started, "I would just like to inform you, Miss Saotome, that the kiss of marriage is a matter of honor as well. To be so adamantly against things puts me and Shampoo in a rather awkward position. Are you certain you will not budge on the matter?"

Eyes firming, Nodoka started. "Honor has been a part of my life since I was a child; it has guided me through the harshest points of my existence. I'm sorry if Ranma's, and in this case my duty, somehow prevents you from living about a normal life, but honor has never been known to be fair." Nodoka stopped in her musings to stare over at the woman across from her, seeing the elder's face a mask of true neutrality. In an attempt to break it, she added this. "There is also the matter that your Granddaughter was also partially responsible for destroying my house."

"What?" Cologne asked, clearly surprised.

"Oh, don't worry about it. That's something that can be discussed for _another_ time," Nodoka stated.

Cologne easily picked up the mild amount of venom in the woman's voice, but was unsure how to act. This whole conversation had gone completely in the opposite direction she had intended it. The Amazon matriarch understood fully now that under the woman's demure mask laid a person who was just as stubborn as her husband. Not wanting to instigate things further, she only added the following, "…I see. I'll have to talk to Shampoo about this. I apologize if we have caused you any form of grief," she stated, slightly gritting her teeth.

An awkward silence filled the air for several moments as the two woman returned to drinking their tea with the odd compliment or two coming from Cologne about it. It was a good few minutes before Nodoka broke the tension with the following, "…It seems they are not back yet."

"It appears they aren't," Cologne agreed.

…

"…So, how bout' that weather we're having?" the wizened elder asked.

* * *

"Well, _that_ was a bust," stated a clearly annoyed black chúi.

"I'm _well_ aware," Akane sneered back, left eye twitching while, with a bit of effort, holding up the individual onyx and crimson hammers. "If you all hadn't run off like that, things wouldn't have to gotten so rough," she said, indicating to the two bodies of a panda bear and Chinese girl, lying face down on the ground, both with cartoonish lumps on their head.

The reunited group of five was standing (well for most part, lying) in one of the more adjacent parts of the currently moderately packed and in disarray Furinkan High. Which, due to a spur of the moment decision by Principal Kuno to declare this date "Super Hawaii luau day," was holding a festival celebrating Pacific Islander heritage.

"Who the hell hold's a school doohickey like this on a _Sunday_? What, he couldn't a waited till tomorrow?" asked an annoyed red Ranma.

This whole thing started when the racing blur finally came to a halt as they made their way to the school. After Genma reached the front gates, and witnessed the various students and luau like equipment set up, he took a moment to pause. Which gave Shampoo (who wanted to keep on moving in search of her target) a chance to jump ahead. This caused a series of events and misunderstandings that led to a weapon clad girl and giant panda bear to run amuck across and in the school.

All in all it was a standard affair.

"Ah who cares?" The black hammer stated. "But seriously though, why'ja go and hit Shampoo like that, Akane? She was actually real good about not hurtin' no one. Heck, it was Pops who caused all the _real_ damage… Though I guess ya got him," he commented further, turning his ki eyes over to the battered and bruised endangered mammal.

A semi-conscious Genma held up this sign. "Shut up, boy."

Akane let off a bit of a growl. "Oh yeah, defend _her _right away. Because it's not like I just had to run around half the district like a crazy person to keep up with you idiots!" She then let off a mumble. "I _swear_, if you could feel pain right now…"

"Now hold on guys, this ain't gettin' us anywhere!" The red chúi butted in. "Shampoo en' me checked out the whole damn school, top to bottom! And that old freak ain't anywhere in there! Where are we supposed to look now?" she finished, trying to get everyone's heads on straight.

"Red Ranma is right… We no know where old pervert person could be anymore," Shampoo said, shakily standing up and nursing the bump on her head, all the while giving Akane a bit of a glare before the other woman quickly handed her the two Ranmas.

"I'm… actually fresh out of ideas," Akane stated. Internally she was relieved to no longer be holding the two items; for some reason they seemed to be a lot heavier than they looked.

"Well, well, just _what_ have you all gotten yourselves into this time?" One Nabiki Tendo said, entering the scene with a lei around her neck and a fake, half cracked open plastic coconut in her hand. It had a colorful bendy-straw in it as well as one of those tiny umbrellas that don't seem to serve any real purpose. All the while she wore a pair of cool shades. Overall, she had a very nonchalant look about her.

"It's not my fault!' Akane said defensively. But then became slightly worried. "Was the damage really that bad?"

Taking a sip from her drink, the middle Tendo replied, "Well, I don't think we'll be using the gym any time soon, and the number you and him," she pointed at Shampoo and Genma, " did on the water pipes is probably gonna become a school legend. But other than that, no, everything's fine."

"It was Panda-man's fault!" Shampoo indignantly answered back, and received a quick "Yeah" from the black chúi.

Blinking for a moment, she walked up to the two hammers and stared. "…Ranma?"

"Oh, hi Nabiki, it's, uhh, well, sort of hard to explain," answered the black hammer.

"You're tellin' me…" The red weapon blinked for a moment before finishing. "Oh, I'm here too."

A silence filled the area for a few seconds before Nabiki spoke up. "Well, par for the course I suppose."

Akane nearly choked. "Wait, _wait_, Ranma's a hammer, how can you just act like it's no big deal at all?"

"Sis, I would, if things like this didn't happen on a seemingly weekly basis. Besides, I'm having too good of a day to have you put me down. I won't go into it, but let's just say I made a _big _score." Nabiki said, smilingly. Changing the subject, she indicated towards the Panda. "Is he going to be okay?"

"I think he's just asleep now. I didn't hit him _that_ hard."

"Uh-huh. So just what brings you all here anyway? I'm only at this place because crazy Principal Kuno came down in person to gather everyone up. But you all weren't there when he came by." Nabiki stated, taking a long sip from the punch in her coconut, savoring its sweet taste.

"Mister Old pervert man Happosai use orb thing to turn Ranma into Ranma-chúi's!" Shampoo explained. "We need orb back to make Ranma human."

The black hammer piped up. "But we don't know where he is. We've checked everywhere!"

"…Have you checked back at the house?" Nabiki stated in a deadpan, fingers fiddling with her cup's teeny umbrella. "I mean, I'm pretty sure that's where the old guy lives."

…

There was once again another pause, as the group looked around at each other, several mouths hanging agape. "Ain't no one say a damn thing," The female Ranma said with an authoritarian like attitude. "We just go- we go back to the dojo, and we kick the old guys ass, just no one say anything."

A general consensus of nodding was reached but before the four could speed off into the distance, Akane started up. "Umm, Sis? I don't mean to be rude, or anything, but did someone spike the punch you're drinking or something? Normally I don't think you'd be this, well, helpful." The blue haired girl stated rather sheepishly, hoping she would incur a great wrath from her elder sister.

"Funny you should say that," Nabiki said. "I can guarantee you that someone _did_ spike _something_. If I had to guess I'd put my money on Hiroshi, or maybe Daisuke." She stopped to take another sip. "But I'm sorry to say that what I have here is clean." She smirked a bit. "But that doesn't mean I didn't get to scam all those halfwits who couldn't handle their liquor. You'd be amazed at what some of these people will bet on!" She gave what could only be considered a Nabiki equivalent of a chuckle. "So I suppose that's why I'm in a good mood."

"_Ooh_, that's why, ya just got done scamming half the school, so you're taking charity by helping me out!" The black Ranma- chúi added, taken complete aback by the girl so freely giving out information. "I guess you ain't so bad after all!"

"Charity?" Nabiki stated with a small smirk on her face. "Oh! I'm telling you these things because I'm charging you. I thought you all would understand at this point? Don't worry though; I know you're all busy. I'll put it on your tabs."

"WHAT?" Both Ranma's exclaimed, with Shampoo becoming mildly surprised at their outburst, and almost dropped them. "You can't do that! That's, that's, entrapmentation, or somethin'! The obsidian hammer exclaimed.

"Do you have the money to pay the lawyers to back you up on that claim?" Nabiki asked.

"…No." The red Ranma replied. '_Only because you take all of it!'_

"Well then you can't really do anything, can you? Anyway, that'll be 6000 yen individually. You can all pay me back once things have settled down, but I'm going to start charging interest next Friday regardless." The ice queen replied, clearly letting her true nature shine through.

While the two Ranma's were growling and mumbling, Shampoo interjected, not entirely sure what the 'sneaky coconut-girl' was talking about. "Airen's, we waste time! We need to find old pervert and get you fixed!"

"…You're right Shampoo," The black hammer said. "Let's just cut our losses an' head out."

"About time!" Akane said, annoyed at the two hammer's hardheaded antics. "Honestly, you should expect something like that from my sister at this point. Why you're getting mad is beyond me." She then quickly turned to her sister, doing her best to sound sympathetic "You're not charging me, are you big sis?" All she received was a sly look from her.

"Whatever, let's just go!" The red chúi said. Begrudgingly, the now group of four headed off to their new destination. Hoping that was where Happosai had actually ended up at.

Nabiki, meanwhile, was still at the scene with a particular individual snoring at her side. "Now _what _am I gonna do with _you_?" She said, pointing towards the sleeping panda.

* * *

Off hidden away in his lair in the attic of the Tendo household, Happosai was recounting the newly added items to his collection. '_Okay, so the pink polka dot panties go in pile 4A, while the translucent bra should go in B7, or maybe H9, since it's silk… Nah, B7, stick to filing order.'_ As the old pervert was doing various calculations in his head, his mind drifted slightly away. '_Hehe, even if my plans for Ranma didn't work out because of that damn bauble, I still picked up a __**choice**__ haul today. No use crying over spilt milk as they say!'_

Just as he was contemplating his new silky treasures, Shampoo, after quickly opening the hatch to enter, shot forth from the floor below. "Old pervert man! Shampoo finally find you!" she exclaimed, slightly out of breath. All this running was actually starting to tire her out. It didn't help that she got annoyed at having to have Akane vouch for her before Soun let her into the building. (They really didn't want to take the time to explain to him the whole ordeal.) Regardless, with both Ranma's in hand, she armed herself, ready to fight.

"Oh ho! Shampoo! Darling! It's rare that I see _you_. What pleasure do I owe this visit?" Happosai asked, before quickly jutting his head around for the moment. "Wait, Cologne isn't here, right?" His attention to the matter dwindled though when he saw Akane hop up to the room as well. "Ah! And little Akane, my day just keeps getting better and better!" he said, his voice pitch rising by the word due to his excitement.

"Shut up you pervert! I'm _not_ in the mood." Akane said, having finally joined the scene after dealing with a few inconsequential family matters she had to handle before joining Shampoo.

"Is no pleasure to be here!" Shampoo spat. "Shampoo here to help Ranma and get Orb of… of… Transmutation! Back to Great-Grandmother!" She finished, mildly proud of herself that she just overcame a small hurdle in her language skills.

"Now don't play any games ya old freak!" The black chúi exclaimed. "If you give us back the orb right now I'll only put ten cracks in yer skull instead of twenty!"

With a mildly surprised look in his eye, Happosai quickly hopped on over to the apparently talking hammer. "Ranma?" He asked.

"Damn right it's me!" The red chúi exclaimed. "It's cause of you I'm like this! Now give me the freakin' orb!"

Turning his back slightly, Happosai went into deep thought before beginning, "O- Ooh! The perfect _tool_! I get it! Aw, those _clever_ Amazons!" '_I should have burned their village down when I had the chance__,_' He thought darkly. "Still though, I wasn't expecting this! And is that my favorite little girl-Ranma I heard as well?" he pondered

"Yeah, whatever ya freak! We ain't tellin' you nothin' else! Now what about the orb, where'd ya put it?" The onyx chúi prodded.

"Fine then, if you want to play it that way. But let me ask you this first; just _why_ Ranma my boy, would I give you _the orb_ after you've been so rude to me?" Happosai stopped to give off a small 'Ha!' "Hmm, I think I'll let you stew like this for a bit! It should teach you to give proper respect for your master from now on!" he exclaimed, sounding much like an adult talking down to a child. "…Though I might change my mind if you two girls over there give ole' Happy here a hug! Sweeto~!" he yelled, with a bit of drool forming at his mouth as he made a leap for the two human martial artists.

Akane and Shampoo quickly leapt out of the way, with the former of the two the first to rebuke. "As if we'd steep that low!"

Shampoo had had enough. Hardening her eyes and forming an offensive stance, she readied herself for battle. "Old pervert man Happosai! You hurt my Airen, stole from tribe, and make mockery of Amazon warrior! She no forgive you! Prepare to fight!"

Cracking her knuckles with enthusiasm, Akane grew a small grin. "No offense Ranma, but I've been wanting a chance to pummel this pervert without you getting in the way for a _long_ time." She hardened her fiery gaze at the ancient master. "Happosai! For all the groping, stealing, and tormenting you've done, you're going to pay!"

Gazing at the two battle ready women, Happosai gave off a small clap. "Ooh, very nice girls. Did you have those speeches pre-written?"

"Can it ya old freak!" The male Ranma yelled, but before any rebuttal could be had, Shampoo rushed on, quickly swinging the black chúi at Happosai, only for him to quickly dodge the attacked. What Shampoo _did _manage to hit though, was pile 7Q-B of Happosai's lingerie collection.

The pervert's eyes grew wide. "M-my filing…" Gaze hardening, Happosai's ki flared. "Fine! If you all want a fight, you've got it! I'll show you to _respect_ a martial arts master such as myself!" Giving the surrounding area a once over though, he started again. "But not here!" He said, as he jumped upward, smashing through the ceiling and landing on the roof.

"Hurry Shampoo!" the red chúi exclaimed. "Don't let him get away!"

Giving a quick nod, Shampoo, as well as Akane, jumped and climbed through the man sized hole that Happosai made, and found the old freak waiting for them. "If you two want to hurt yourselves pointlessly that's fine by me!" Happosai said, jumping towards the unarmed blue haired girl. "But don't worry, once this whole thing is done with, I'll make sure to cuddle with both of you!"

While Akane was preparing herself to punch the old guy's light outs, the male Ranma, ki eyes widening, exclaimed the following, "Watch out Akane! That old perv can do freaky things with pressure points!"

Realization striking her, Akane leapt out of the way just in time to miss Happy's outstretched index finger. _'__What the hell would that of done?_' she thought, shivering a bit.

"Oh come _here_ Akane!" Happosai told her. "I _just_ want to touch you!" '_Just need to get __**her**__ out of the way, after that I can deal with the other three, then the __**real**__ fun can begin. Hehe…'_

"Pervert man leave himself open!" Shampoo said, revving up the red chúi to smack the minuscule martial master. Happosai would have dodged too, if it wasn't for the fact that just as Shampoo was preparing her strike, her breasts jutted themselves in such a way that left the old man gawking. Meaning he got hit with the full brunt force of a ki empowered red Ranma-chúi.

"Oof!" Was his only reply, as his body painfully skid almost all the way across the roof, damaging the tiling severely.

"Good work Shampoo!" the jet black chúi said to the purple haired martial artist, eyes moving away from the old man to look at her.

Smiling brightly at Ranma, she spoke back. "Thank you Airen! But it not over _yet_, we still need orb."

Grumbling lowly, Happosai sat himself up. "You're damn right it's not over yet. Not by a long shot." Shooting forward with incredible speed, unmatched by either Shampoo or Akane, he easily slipped past Shampoo's inadequate defense and jabbed his index finger into her left hand.

"Ah!" She gasped, as she felt her left hand go numb, causing her to drop a particular red chúi. "Girl-Ranma!" She said, attempting flex her hand as she swung several strikes at Happosai with the black hammer.

Almost effortlessly, Happosai dodged Shampoo's frenzied assault, attention drawn more towards a certain female chúi. Lifting her up, and staring into her false eyes, Happosai began to speak. "My my Ranma! You certainly _do _pack quite a punch! Probably has to do with ki, or something, right?" he drolly said, moving with almost choreographed efficiency as he danced around Shampoo's blows. "You know, maybe this could work out, since, from what I can tell, you're all _girl_ right now, so if I can figure out a way to change you back to human, _as well _as a weapon, I could not only keep you as my personal plaything, but as my _personal_ plaything! Hehehe… How does _that_ sound? Oh! Just look at you, you're travel size!"

The red chúi wanted to shiver, but instead of showing any sort of fear, she spat out the following, "Go screw yourself ya old freak! I knew you were bad, but what you just said was down right _low_!" '_If I could move right now…_' As she thought this, her ki started to flair up.

As he continually dealt with a currently one-handed Shampoo, delivering a surprisingly sharp kick to her face, he stared down at the chúi in annoyance. "Big words from someone whose bottom half looks like an abnormally large dil-"

His last word was cut off by a hard smack to the face from Akane, sending him spinning back several feet away from the two girls. "You forget about me you pervert?" Looking across to the lavender haired Amazon, she spoke up, "Are you okay Shampoo? Your hand hurt?"

Finally starting to gain feeling in her digits, she clasped her fist one last time to make sure and gave a nod at the girl. "Shampoo okay. Pervert-man just make it numb or somethings. We need get girl-Ranma back though!"

The black chúi wanted to nod. "Yeah, I did _not_ like what that old freak was talking about back there, gotta get her back quick before he runs off with the other me!"

Smiling, chúi still in hand, Happosai lifted himself up again. "Now _Akane_, that was not _nice_. You don't want me to get _too_ violent with you all, do_ you_? Because, let me tell ya, I'm no stranger to playin' rough… Hehe." Taking on a sage like stance, he spoke down to them. "I mean how would you feel if I were to go and smack people around with ole' Ranma here?"

"W-w-wait!" The red chúi exclaimed. "Don't you dare!"

"Ah, don't worry." He said, spinning the hammer around in his hand. "I'm only gonna leave a few _love_ taps." '_Once they're nice and unconscious I can snag a few new silky darlings for my collection!'_ With that, he charged, rushing straight for the blue haired tomboy.

'_Ah geez! No! No! Gotta think, gotta think… You know, considering all the times Akane's smacked me around, this could be pretty ironic, but I ain't gonna let im' use me to hurt __**either**__ of them! Wait, maybe…" _

As she thought this, Happosai managed to get in range of Akane, and although she had her defenses up, she was no match for a martial arts master who had been training for centuries. Easily pushing past her guard, he quickly thrust the chúi down on the girls head!... Causing her to feel a mild itch. "Wahh?..." Happosai intelligently stated.

Confusion filling her eyes, Akane never-the-less saw that the old pervert was now open. "You were right about one thing. That _was _a love tap." She stated mockingly, before reaching her fist back. "Now here's mine!" she exclaimed as she slammed the old man downwards to the tile below, causing even more extensive damage to the roof.

* * *

Underneath all the madness, Soun Tendo lay sitting at the relatively empty dining room table, newspaper in hand. Lifting his head upward, he turned to his eldest daughter, who was currently in the process of preparing dinner, and asked her the following, "Kasumi dear, are we having an Earthquake?"

Turning, Kasumi addressed the Tendo patriarch, "No father, I think Akane and her little friend are sparring up on the roof."

Folding his paper, Soun sighed. "Ah, youth. Still, they could have just used the dojo." Shaking his head once he turned back to his readings. "Though I understand wanting to vary ones environment, I remember Genma and I would train in the craziest of places!" he said with a laugh. "I still don't understand how we ended up in that volcano, but we sure had a good time while we were there!"

"I'm sure father." Kasumi said back pleasantly, though with a nonchalant aura about her. "Dinner should be ready in about thirty or so minutes, since not a lot of people seem to be coming. I cooked quite a bit less."

With a simple nod, he replied back, "Ah, very good."

* * *

The red chúi gave off an echoing laugh as it rolled several feet away from Happosai. "Hehe, ain't lookin' so smart now, are ya? Ya see, I figured, since the reason I seem ta be hittin' things real hard, is because of all my condensed ki, and cause my body isn't as complicated and stuff as it would be when I was human, I could suppress my power down and make it sort of like that time ya hit me with that ultimate weakness moxibustion! You ain't gonna be usin' me to hurt anyone I don't want you to!" As she finished this, she felt Shampoo quickly picking her up and placing her in her offhand.

"Female Ranma is so smart!" Shampoo stated with a smile. "You really trick Happosai-man."

"Yeah, you're _pretty_ smart," The black chúi agreed. "The look on the old freak's face right there was priceless!" Turning his eyes toward Akane, he spoke up. "Oh, and, uhh, nice hit Akane… Ya really pounded his lights out!" Refusing to make anymore eye contact, he focused himself on the target before him. "But come on Shampoo; let's finish this whole thing up. I wanna get the orb and go back to being normal."

With a nod, she rushed forward, knowing to not let the old man have enough time to recover. Quickly, she smacked him with the male Ranma and jutted him straight upward into the air. Then, with one final thrust, she slammed the black chúi downward on him, causing Happosai to be rammed directly through the roof and crashing through the (now) broken table that Soun was reading his paper at.

Surprised by his master's impromptu appearance, as well as his favorite table being destroyed, Soun's eyes budged out in a way that really should not be anatomically feasible. Nevertheless, he was even more shocked when he saw his daughter and Shampoo jump through the (other) newly minted hole in the roof. "M-master?" He indicated towards Happosai. "Akane?" then to his daughter. "_You_?" and finally at Shampoo. "Just what is going on here?"

Akane looked over at her father rather sheepishly, finally realizing that this is the sort of thing Ranma has to put up with on a daily basis. Wanton destruction does tend to leave people aghast. "Umm, sorry Dad, it's, well, I'll explain it to you if you help us tie Master Happosai up. I don't think he's going to be too happy once he wakes up."

"Yeah Mr. Tendo, I think the old freak here is gonna _pretty _pissed with us." A certain black chúi said.

Letting his mouth gape open for only a few moments at the sight of a weapon that sounded like Ranma, Soun's mind started churning and realized that the talking object just put the words "Old freak" (i.e. Master Happosai) and "pissed" in the same sentence. Not needing to hear another word, Soun, with a bit of assistance from Kasumi, gathered up various supplies and quickly began to tie his Master up. By the end, Happosai was encased in a prison that would likely leave the most experienced escape artist scratching their head. A mix of chains, solid cement, rope, and what appeared to be supposed magic "wards", were placed around him. Leaving the ensemble, including Shampoo, quite impressed. Clapping his hands together, Soun stated the following, "Okay, that should keep him still for a few ten, maybe even fifteen minutes once he's awake. Now, can you explain to me how all of this happened?"

The four youths (well, the three who actually knew him) did their best to explain the events to the admittedly weak spirited Soun in hopes that their efforts wouldn't cause the Tendo elder to bawl his eyes out. They failed. The group managed to get up to the point of where Ranma was turned into a hammer before he started bemoaning himself. "Oh! Poor Ranma! Cursed by the master to be nothing more than a mere weapon! Now the schools will never be united! Unless…" He turned to his daughter. "I'm sorry Akane, but we're going to have to convert you as well! I'm sure you'll make a nice mallet or katana for Ranma, You'll be the perfect match!"

Soun received a relatively light smack on the head from his daughter for that. "Dad! I am _not_ going to become a weapon!" And before Soun could break out into a rant about honor, she finished, "Besides! Happosai has the cure. We get it from him and then we'll fix this idiot over here," She indicated towards Ranma, "right up."

As this was all happening, Kasumi was simply wondering if she had cooked up enough food for her new guests, and just where exactly she would be serving it. With a bit of a sigh she left towards the kitchen, realizing she'd have to improvise something.

Just then, the remaining ensemble turned their eyes towards the chained up wrinkled old man as he started to finally wake to the conscious world. "Hmm? Akane? Shampoo? Ehh?" He said all this as he realized he was quite captured. "Oh-ho! So you caught me it seems! No matter, I'll be out of this confounded contraption of a trap in no time!" He began, struggling in his bonds.

"Not if I smash your face in first!" The female chúi angrily shouted. She further demanded, "I've had enough! Tell us where the orb is!"

"You keep asking that, but if I tell you, what's in it for me?" the perverted master defiantly asked.

"Like I said, only ten cracks in your skull," the black chúi stated.

A look of false contemplation filled Happosai's face as he turned to the chúi. "You drive a hard bargain, but I think I'll take those mosquito bites that you call hits and then bust out of here. If that's not too much trouble," he finished, already somehow worming his way out of the ropes, the first tier of defense in his locks.

"Shampoo?" The female Ranma asked. With a nod, the purple haired girl raised the red chúi up high, prepared to lay down the smack down.

Just as she was going to smash his face in for what would be the third time for the day, Happosai let off a disgruntled grunt. "Fine, fine, this is getting _boring_. Do you really want to know where the Orb of Transmutation is?" the old freak asked, a bit of a glint in his eyes.

Shampoo pulled her weapon back to hear just what Happosai was about to say. This gave time for Akane to answer back. "Yes! Just tell us where the damn thing is already!"

"I hocked it!" The old man exclaimed, a cat got the canary grin on his face.

"…You what?" The black chúi asked.

"I _hocked_ it! I don't have it anymore! Why would I need something that if I thought it was broken?" Happosai said, with almost sickening enthusiasm.

Anger filling her, Shampoo furiously yelled back. "Stupid man! Orb only way to fix Ranma! Shampoo _need _fix Airen! Where? You? Put? Orb?" she said, punctuating the last few words.

"Well, I didn't _exactly _hock it. I sold it to this nice young lady. She gave me one of the most beautiful bra and panty sets imaginable! Pre-owned, if you know what I mean!" Happosai replied, not so adding emphasis to his not so subtle innuendo.

"Damn it! Where's the chick now?" The female chúi demanded.

"Don't know. She sort of looked like a traveler. Didn't get a good look at her face though, I was paying too much attention to her, ahem, _other _assets. Hehe." Happosai replied.

Akane, a twitching budge on her forehead, turned to her three companions. "Can I have this one?" She asked politely.

"We do this together!" Shampoo said, with backing ups from the two chúi. Reaching a consensus, Shampoo lined her shot up so both chúi would hit Happosai at once, while Akane was revving up her fist.

A silence pervaded the area briefly before the black chúi started. "Five…" This was continued on by the red hammer. "Four…" Shrugging slightly, Akane joined in.. "Three…" a smile formed on Shampoo's face as she added; "two…"

"One!" They all exclaimed at the same time as they unleashed their fearsome blow on Happosai, blasting him straight up into the air, creating a third, and what would hopefully be for the that day, final hole in the Tendo household's roof.

Gasping, a bit out of breath, Shampoo started, "What we do now?..." She said a bit sullenly.

"You damn well know what we're gonna do!" the red chúi exclaimed. "We're gonna hunt this woman and get the orb back!"

"Hell yeah!" the black hammer replied. "Let's go find this chick!"

Sighing, Akane turned to the two weapons. "Ranma…s you idiots! You can't just go running off like that! Besides, we left Cologne and your mom waiting at the Cat Café. We should go to them first and tell them what's going on," she said, trying to reason.

Growling lowly, the black chúi started to rant, "Damn it! Damn it! I don't want to be a _freakin _hammer! That stupidold freak! I hope he snapped his neck! I swear, if he's still alive the next time I see him…" He let the last remark go unsaid.

Eyes softening a bit, Shampoo knew she needed to help him, at least somehow. Turning the weapon to her face, she started, "Ranma, Airen, Shampoo- _I _promise you! We- we _will _get you fixed, we _will _make you human! Sham- _I _won't let you down!"

Looking at the determination in her eyes, he couldn't help but be relieved, if only just slightly. "_Shampoo…" _He said softly, but then let off a grunt. "But first we should check in at the Cat Café, _right_?" He received a sheepish nod from her as a reply.

Meanwhile, the female chúi continued to seethe. "If we're gonna get goin', we should get goin'. It's just one more damn pit stop we need to make. I _ain't_ gonna be stuck like this. Not as a girl, not as a weapon! So let's get this damn thing over with!"

The four between them nodded, only to be interrupted out of their reverie by one Soun Tendo who still, surprisingly, was in the room. "So, umm, I suppose this means none of you are staying for dinner?"

"Sorry Dad…" Akane replied.

"No can do Mr. Tendo, we need to get goin'. Besides, I'm pretty sure the old ghoul and my Mom can cook something up back at the restaurant. We gotta give em' the lowdown on what's happened," the black chúi explained. '_Also, we should really leave before he gets a good look at the roof._'

"Right…" Soun replied. _'Better go tell Kasumi to stop making extra, we __**don't **__want her getting mad__,__" he_ thought with a shiver. "Well, if you're going to go, you better go; it's going to be dark soon. But when will you be back?"

"…It really depends," the red chúi stated, in an almost monotone.

"Well then, if that's the case, you better get moving! We can't have the heir to the Tendo dojo be a hammer, can we? Haha!" Soun said, putting up a good hearted smile. But inside he was weeping, '_No We can't! Ranma, you better make yourself human again, or- or…' _At the moment, Soun spontaneously burst into tears.

"Umm, Crying-man?..." Shampoo indicated.

"Haha! You all get outta here!" Soun exclaimed, shifting emotionally, but filled with false enthusiasm

Shrugging for the most part, the group nodded in agreement and started making their way for the exit. Just as they were about to leave though, Kasumi popped in to see what was going on. "Ooh? Are you all leaving?" she asked.

Waving in a bit of a goodbye, Akane replied, "Yeah, sorry big sis, it's a long story. Dad can fill you in, but hopefully this won't take _too_ long." She finished, as she walked over the threshold of the doorway, lagging only slightly behind Shampoo. "See you all later!" she said, giving off one final wave. Shampoo too, still with a weapon in hand.

Letting out a sagely sigh, Soun chuckled. "Ooh those crazy kids and their adventures! Always up to something," he said, taking a few steps outside to see them finally off. "Isn't that right Kasumi?"

"They sure are, father," she said, agreeing with him, simply glad to see the man in a surprisingly good mood.

"Ah, anyway, let's go eat, shall we?" Soun suggested, turning around. But before he could get an answer back, shock filled his eyes. What lay before him was the shattered remains of the Tendo household's roof, severely decimated in the battle with Happosai. "M-my… My roof!" He exclaimed, dramatic sorrow filling his voice as tears rolled down his face. "It's… _ruined_!"

Kasumi, confused at her Father's change in demeanor stepped out to assess the damage. Her emotions, thoughts and feelings could only be summed up with the following two words:

"Oh my!"

* * *

**A/N: Jesus tap-dancing Christ! I did **_**not**_** intend for this chapter to be this long. Still, I think I've covered just about everything that I wanted to. I Got Cologne and Nodoka talking, and Happosai, for the time being, dealt with, now I can start to move on to the main plotline. From what it looks like, this story might actually end up being decently long, sort of strange considering the oddball premise.**

**Anyway, I had a few firsts in this chapter, namely: action. First time writing it, and I'm not sure how I did. Personally, I always find it to be the most boring part of the story, so that doesn't help right there on writing it.**

**Also, before anyone asks, Happy wasn't really taking his fight with the girls too seriously; he was more interested with fooling around, and checking out the newly altered Ranma than actually beating up the lot, so that's my explanation if you are wondering why he lost so easily.**

**Again, I'm not too sure about characterizations, there really isn't too much to go on with Nodoka, so I tried to add a bit of depth there. Hopefully what I did was agreeable. Some may complain that I'm not writing Cologne as the "sagely wise elder who demands respect", but the way I'm looking at it here is, that she feels slightly responsible for the actions done to Ranma, and is genuinely not trying to talk down to Nodoka, so she could possibly get on her good side. (It didn't really work.) Also, I hope I didn't write Nabiki **_**too**_** horribly, I have a bad feeling that she may seem a bit off.**

**Oh well, if any of you have advice and comments that you would add, feel free. If I like or agree with any of your ideas, I'll most likely edit them into a chapter, or add them to future ones. I would also like to thank all those reviewers who have already given me info on what works and what doesn't. You've been very helpful.**

**Until next time!**

**Also, I still haven't gotten around to finding an editor yet, so sorry if this looks a bit sloppy.**


	4. The situation gets a bit more chúi

Disclaimer: I in no way own any of the rights to the works of Rumiko Takahashi, I am simply just writing this for my own enjoyment.

**A/N: Hey there everyone! I'm back once more for the next part of this story, I don't know how many more times I can say this without sounding redundant, but I just want to, once again, thank everyone who commented on this. I seriously do take into consideration everything you people say, and so far many of you have given me some really great things to contemplate. Anyway, let's get on with this.**

**Also, quick note: ****Underlined ****text is Chinese.**

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* * *

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Nodoka stared, looking directly into the piercing eyes of the woman before her. '_Cologne__;__'_ the name was starting to leave a bad taste in her mouth. Ever since the little chat they had earlier, things had become increasingly more awkward between the two. Mindless conversations and pointless banter filled the air as both of them attempted to pass the time while subtly attempting to take jibes at one other as they waited for the search party to return.

Cologne, for her part, had become quite jaded at this point, and would simply settle with knowing just what exactly her Great-Granddaughter had done to this woman's house. While she had figured out quickly that _that _wasn't the main cause of the consternation between them, she still felt rather vexed that she was not entirely aware of the goings on around her. Her associates back at the Amazon village would certainly leave a few venomous remarks had they known that she couldn't simply keep up with the whereabouts and doings of her own kin. Still, she took solace in knowing that _she _still held the majority of the cards here. _She _was the one who could change Ranma back and _she _was the one allowing this woman to even be in the same building as her. Still, the old Amazon wasn't heartless; she wouldn't kick her out knowing that her child (or children, depending how you look at it) was in trouble. If everything went well the group would return triumphant, she'd fix Ranma, and not have to deal with the kimono wearing housewife for the time being.

Taking a sip from what would be her fourth cup of tea for the day, Nodoka, in a tone that exuded such an amount of innocence and naivety that it could only ring false, started on a well versed topic between the two. "My, they certainly have been gone quite a long time. It's already dark out. Do you think they are alright?"

Fingering a small packet of crème that she had found lying next to the condiments on the table, Cologne tried her best to sound interested. "I'm sure. You _do_ believe in the competence of your husband don't you? He's the one taking care of them." Seeing the mild twitch in the other woman's eyes, Cologne placed the crème back on the table and started on a new obsession. This time a small pink pack of sugar. "Besides, while I'm not exactly sure about _Ms. Akane_, I know that my Shampoo is very dependable and will keep Ranma safe and unharmed no matter what the situation."

"Ah, well, that's good I suppose…" Nodoka paused for a moment, unsure whether to attempt to bite back at the obviously venom laden words, or to take solace in knowing what the other woman said meant her son would most likely be okay. In the end she decided it best to just try and move on to a new subject, something that had been annoying her the entire day. "Ms. Cologne, there is one thing that I am somewhat curious about, and I was wondering if I could ask you." Taking a moment to cough and give a slight smile, she continued. "Is there a particular reason as to why you and that Shampoo girl are named after beauty products?"

Brow furrowing, Cologne gave a questioning glare at the woman, before answering back. "I'm… I'm not entirely sure I'm following here."

Blinking a few times, Nodoka attempted to clarify. "Oh, well, I took a bit of English back during high school, and I noticed a few things. I'm sorry, I mean I don't know what they teach in those huts of yours that you live in, but well, your name in English, 'Cologne,' is what men would use as a form of perfume. And your Granddaughter is named after-"

Before she could refute this daft woman's claims, especially the "_hut_" part, Ku Lon's ears perked up at the sound of the front door opening, which was then followed by a rather subdued greeting from Shampoo. "We back Great-Grandmother…"

"Ah! Shampoo, Son-in-law… Akane, did your expedition go well?" Cologne asked. Regardless of the answer though, she was tremendously glad to be able to put the last few hours alone with this annoying woman behind her.

Shampoo sullenly shook her head. "No Elder… We find Happy-man, but he no have orb. He say he pawn it off to strange lady."

At that moment, the black chúi joined in, "yeah, the old freak didn't even say what the chick looked like, just that she might be a traveler or somethin'."

"A lot of good that'll do us… still, we got to give the guy a poundin' in the end." The red weapon huffed out.

Cologne frowned, not liking the information she was just given. Finding a non-descript woman who apparently traveled around a lot would make things considerably more difficult in the long run. '_That though is what I'm worried about__.__ I've been trying to downplay the particulars, but if Ranma doesn't change back by a month's time, he may very well die. While I don't think it'll come down to that at this time, having to explain the situation to Ms. Saotome and both Ranmas is going to make my life significantly more troublesome."_

With a sigh, Cologne ushered the four (or two, depending on how one looks at it) in to have a seat. "Well, there was always the chance that it would come down to something like this. But from what you've told me, we have virtually no leads. Now _please_ Shampoo, if you know anything, now is not the time to be holding back."

The lavender haired Amazon felt slightly trapped. She had nothing to give or add that would help fix the problem at the whole day she'd been feeling down, knowing that she was partially responsible for what happened to Ranma. '_What can I say? That I wasted the entire afternoon taking my husband on a wild goose chase? What good have I been to him? Even if he doesn't agree with our arrangement… yet, I still care for him. I'm supposed to help and protect him when he's in need! Ranma __has__ helped __**me**__ before… even if his motives weren't exactly honest. Still, why can't I actually just do something in return for once?'_

Sadly shaking her head, Shampoo could only reply, "No Great-Grandmother, he no tell us anything else. We tie him up to ask questions, but he start to escape! We had to send Happy-man flying before he could make things worse." Truthfully, she noted she probably would have attacked him regardless of whether he was trying to break out. Just thinking about his smug face set a fire in her belly.

Nodoka frowned; things just got worse and she knew it. In an attempt to see if she could improve the situation in any way, she asked the following with concern, "My son… I'm so sorry you weren't able to get the item you need. My, this is terrible… Akane, or you two Ranmas, did any of you hear anything that Ms. Shampoo might have missed?" She hoped that they knew something the Chinese girl might have left out, as she didn't exactly like relying on information from someone who only had a basic grasp on her language skills.

Akane gave a snort and crossed her arms. "No, Shampoo pretty much covered everything. All we got out of it was that we know a woman has it… Unless… Well, he did say that the lady gave him used _lingerie_ as payment for the orb."

"Hmm, that actually helps narrow things down a small amount more," Cologne pointed out. "So we are looking for a traveling woman with loose morals…" Cologne mumbled the last bit, but then shook her head, her eyes turning to a nearby clock. "We certainly need to talk things over, map out a plan, but it's getting late. I assume you two must be hungry after all that running around you've done?" Not waiting for a reply, she turned her head over to the Saotome matriarch and asked the following, in, what the red chúi would note, sounded somewhat insincere, "Mrs. Saotome, could you please assist me in the kitchen? I think Shampoo will be too busy tending to Ranma to help, and it will make thing much easier."

Putting on an (admittedly) forced smile, Nodoka stood up and patted herself down, making sure to put her katana off to the side. "I'd _certainly _love to help you Ms. Cologne, but why not let Akane join in as well? As they say, three heads are better than one!"

Eyes widening, Cologne almost sneered at the woman's ploy. It was a dirty trick, as Cologne knew of the youngest Tendo's infamous cooking abilities, even though she had a great love for it. The elderly woman was stuck though. If she were to deny the girl, she would certainly be looked down upon as petty and selfish. She figured she'd simply have to let her down gently.

"I don't thin-"

Before she could finish, Akane interjected, her voice filled with an unnatural amount of joy and excitement. "I'd love to!"

Looking at the bright eyes of the girl, Cologne let off an inaudible growl. '_That Saotome woman is becoming a real thorn in my side.'_ Giving off a shrug, she supposed she'd put the girl on simple duties, such as boiling water. She wouldn't lose her cool. The psychological battle she was having between this woman was a lot like the politics back in her village. She just had to show no signs of weakness, regardless of what minor annoyances she had to put up with. "Alright dear, follow me. I'll show you how the things you'll be using operate…"

Nodoka though stopped momentarily and turned to her (now) two children, as well as the purple haired woman holding them. "Oh! I almost forgot to ask, where exactly is my husband?"

The black hammer was the first to speak up, giving off a reply that slightly shocked Shampoo. "Eh, Pops? He's still out searchin' or something. He'll show up soon enough probably. Nothin' ta worry about."

"Ah, good! We'll prepare him something for when he comes by," Nodoka said, eyes brightening slightly.

As the trio of girls made their way off into the kitchen area, Shampoo marched on over to a nearby table and set the two chúi side by side. "Why did Male-Ranma lie about father-person? Last we saw him, he was asleep at school."

The black chúi responded. "Eh, as much as my old man can be a jerk, he really _is _tryin' ta help me out right now, and we _did_ sort of just leave 'im there. 'Sides, even though she says the whole 'man among men' contract thing is over, I don't wanna push things with her."

The red hammer added in, "Yeah, a few wrong words and my Mom'll be cookin' diced panda, and I don't even have a mouth right now to eat it!" She finished, proverbial tongue firmly planted in cheek. Quickly though, she added one last addition, "Really, we don't wanna make things worse, 'cause this is _already_ getting convoluted."

Shampoo smiled. Even though in a roundabout way, Ranma's logic wasn't entirely virtuous, it was still nice of him to help his father out. "Airen so good, he makes it so Panda-man no get head chopped off!"

The black hammer responded, "Hehe, it ain't nothin'. But still, thanks."

Shampoo's face further lit up at his words, but her features hardened a bit as she attempted to move on to another subject. "Shampoo is sorry that we no find transmutation orb yet, I no even want to think about what I'd do in Ranma's place!"

The red chúi was the first to reassure her, "It ain't _your_ fault Shampoo. When it comes down to it, it was the old freak that did everything."

Pausing for a moment to think, Shampoo cautiously asked the following; "Umm, Shampoo been wondering… How old pervert man use spell on you?" She finished, the thought had been floating around her mind all day.

The black mallet quickly added; "Ah, it was actually pretty stupid. I was walkin' into the dojo to get some practicin' done when I ran in to this big hand drawn symbol on the ground or somethin'. Next thing I know, the old freak starts chanting and a big flash of light hits me."

The red chúi continued, "He tried ta give me some orders to do things, but when I told him to shove off, he started mumblin' about how it 'didn't work' and stuff, then I just sort of ran after him, hopin' to pound his lights out for trying to cast a spell on me… "

The other hammer finished. "Spent half the morning chasing him around the district, and then I caught up with you… and well, ya pretty much know the rest."

Shampoo almost flinched remembering that particular meeting between them, but held it off. If she kept on apologizing and feeling bad for herself, she'd start looking weak. "Ooh, pervert-man real sneaky. Airen actually _live _with him?"

The obsidian tool responded, "Well, it ain't as bad as it looks. He sorta just pops up here and there every once and a while. That's why we needed ta find him so quickly. The pervert could be gone for weeks without showing his face!"

"Probably off lootin' girl's underwear," The crimson weapon added.

"Mm, yes, Happy-man _did_ have lots of girlie clothes... He cross dresser?" Shampoo asked, all the while _not_ trying to picture what the diminutive old man would look like wearing something from his stacks of lingerie.

The jet black hammer let off a quick guffaw and continued on with a few quick laughs. "Ha! Nah Shampoo, I don't really know the details, but I think he uses them ta get his powers or somethin'. Weird, I know."

The red weapon interjected at this point. "Didn't your Grandma ever tell ya about him? I mean, the old ghoul dated him or somethin', right? I'd figure she'd a given you some more info on the guy."

The Chinese girl simply shrugged. "I try to ask, but Great-Grandmother always get mad or start talk about other things when mention him, so Shampoo only know little about Happy-man."

"Eh, the less you know the better," The fire red hammer replied. "He ain't someone you should spend too much time thinkin' about."

Brow furrowing, Shampoo added back, "That what Great-Grandmother say!"

Before either of the Ranmas could reply, a harsh yell by Cologne could be heard from the kitchen. "You fool! You'll kill us all!' …Which was then followed by a loud bang echoing throughout the building.

Shampoo was just about to run out to the kitchen to make sure her Grandmother was okay, but was stopped by the black chúi's voice. "Don't sweat it Shampoo. Akane probably just did something stupid while cookin'. Nothin' unusual there," he drawled.

If you listened closely, you could hear the sharp reprimands that the elderly woman was giving in the other room, as well as the much softer, more encouraging tone that Nodoka was using. Still conflicted as to whether to stay or go, Shampoo's decision was made for her as the women sauntered their way out of the kitchen and into the dining area, with Nodoka carrying in several trays of the Cat Café's specially made noodles.

Cologne directed her gaze towards Shampoo and the two Ranmas, with the former of the group already quickly setting up a table for the ensemble to properly dine around. "Forgive us for the delay," The woman apologized. "We had a few… set backs. Oh and Ms. Tendo? I'll be sending the damages done to my stove to your household. I hope that is acceptable."

Giving a sheepish nod, Akane quickly replied, "O-Of course! Again, I'm _really _sorry." She just didn't understand. All she was trying to do was turn the temperature off; there's no reason it should have exploded like that!

With the area set up, Nodoka placed the four dishes around the table, making sure to carefully maneuvering around her two inanimate children while giving them a quick wave. Once everything was all set up, the group finally set down to have their long awaited meal and began to talk over the far more important matters at hand.

The Ranmas felt quite left out during the whole affair. While yes, they had no ways or means to eat any of the food displayed before them, and interestingly enough, felt no real hunger, but it still reminded them of their new situation, and the things that they were currently missing out on.

When everything was settled and the group (sans the Ranmas) started to eat, Cologne attempted to break the ice. "Well, regardless of the set backs we've had, I hope the food is acceptable." When she received general nods from the people around her, she continued. "But we have more important issues at hand, namely, the fact that we have no idea where the orb if transmutation is, or who has it. Now, before we start bemoaning ourselves, we've got to look at our options here." She stopped to look around momentarily before continuing. "The moment we are done talking, I'll most certainly attempt to make contact with the Amazon village and see if they know of any alternative reversal procedures. But, _as _Nǚjiézú is quite secreted away, getting a response could take a while."

Looks of varying opinions could be seen across the table, all of them exhibiting displeasure, but none were more annoyed by the statement than the two victims of the scenario, particularly the red one. "Now hold on old ghoul! I ain't too happy bout' the thought of spendin' a single night like this! I can't be waitin' days and weeks just so a few a yer buddies can write to ya!"

"I know that!" The elderly woman bit back. She was starting to get annoyed, and while she knew that her future Great-Grandson was in a bit of a tight spot, she was starting to think that the humble tone she was having was damaging the respect people had for her. Calming down for a moment, she continued, "That's why we are going to attempt other solutions in the mean time."

"What other things can be done to help?" Nodoka interjected.

"I was just getting to that. We know that a woman in the area has it, someone who looks like she travels, and might very well be promiscuous." She glanced around at the unsure faces in front of her. In an attempt to raise hopes, she continued on with the following, "We also have to consider that the person who bought the orb might actually know its true purpose. If that is the case, they most certainly could be powerful. I've been focusing my ability to track such strength levels down and I _have _noticed a few oddities in the area. Of course though, it could all just be due to the standard Nerima unusualness."

"So we got ourselves a lead!" The black hammer exclaimed, hope filling his voice.

"Yes, I'm detecting about five or so peculiar female ki signatures spread out in Nerima. I assume at least a few aren't who we are looking for, but as long as they stay relatively in the same place within the next twenty-four hours, you all should be able to track them down with ease," Cologne finished, further articulating her plan.

"What're we waitin' for then?" The red chúi exclaimed. "Let's go find these chicks and get the orb back!"

Cologne took a moment to look around at the two girls before her. While yes, Shampoo looked quite eager, and Akane seemed willing to start searching again, her trained eyes could clearly see the fatigue encompassing both of their frames. Frankly, the two looked beat. Both of them had spent their entire day running across the district, not to mention having to go toe to toe with Happosai. Even if she came with them (of which, she was certainly planning to) there was still a big risk of them getting injured or worse, should they have to put up in a fight.

"Female son-in-law, while you yourself may not actually feel any different, you have to remember that the two before you have spent their entire day on their feet," Cologne stated, trying to reason. "They're surely exhausted; going out hunting again may just put you all in danger."

"But Great-Grandmother!" The purple haired girl rebuked. "Shampoo feel fine! She no want Airen have to stay like this…"

"I can keep searching too!" Akane followed. "A little walking isn't going to tire me out! Besides, what if they leave town before morning?"

"Are you so sure you can keep up at a normal pace?" the elderly matriarch asked. "What if you get in a fight? Do you really want to put yourselves at risk?"

"We'll be-"

Before Akane could finish, the black chúi butted in. "Guys… stop," he stated, annoyance clear in is voice. Begrudgingly though, he moved on, letting out a deep sigh. "Listen, I guess stayin' one night like this ain't gonna kill me. I mean I've put up with worse, right? Like with that whole moxibustion fiasco. We can't have you two runnin' around all night. I know from Pop's training that getting tired out can hit ya when you least want it! I appreciate all the stuff you're doing fer me, but getting hurt isn't gonna help you any! Isn't that right?" he finished, indicating towards the other version of himself.

"Yeah… yeah I guess all this rushin' around ain't gonna do us any good in the long run if it just means it'll get us hurt," the red weapon stated. '_'Sides, I'm gonna have enough sucking up to do by the end of this__.__ I really don't want to have to add "Ran all over Nerima in the dead of night, looking for your cure" to the list.'_

"A-are you sure Airen?" the Chinese girl asked. "Shampoo knows you want to be normal again, she only want to help."

"Hey!" The black chúi exclaimed. "Don't go guilt trippin' me! I might change my mind!"

"Now hold on!" Akane interjected. "I'm not some weakling! Are you seriously suggesting a little running around tired me out?" Akane indignantly asked.

"Hey!" The black chúi yelled. "Be quiet ya uncute tomboy! I actually try an' be considerate for once, and ya throw it back in my face?"

"Is not nice to insult Airen!" Shampoo countered back.

As the three of them bickered, Nodoka proudly gazed her eyes upon her two transmitted children. "Oh my son is being so manly! Willing to put up with being stuck in such a state for the sake of others!" she exclaimed, stars practically visible in her eyes.

"Fine then!" Akane stated, moving to lift the two hammers up. "If you want to stay this way longer, you _can_! Let's just head back to the dojo for the night so we can get a fresh start in the morning," the blue haired tomboy finished.

Eyes widening, Cologne attempted to intervene. "Now hold on Ms. Akane! I _do_ believe we agreed that while Ranma is in this state, he should be in the care of Shampoo."

"That was only for this afternoon! Are you really trying to hold that through _now_?" Akane asked; irritation clearly notable in her voice.

"Shampoo say this before, Shampoo say this again!" Shampoo exclaimed. "Akane no know how to use chúi properly! She cause extra damage!" Her obvious main motive though was to try and gain some extra time with her husband.

"Shampoo is actually quite correct," Cologne stated. "You've seen how dangerous Ranma's hammer form is, so for an untrained person it could cause pointless additional collateral damage. I would think it best if both of them stayed here for the night."

"Now _you_ hold on!" Nodoka spoke up. "I'm Ranma's Mother! Don't I get a say in this?" She paused for effect. "Ranma has been staying with the Tendo's for almost a year now; I would think he would feel much more comfortable in an environment that he was used to rather than some strange, foreign, _restaurant_."

As all this was happening, one thing, and one thing only, kept surfacing on the minds of the two Ranmas: the fact that both of them incidentally destroyed the Tendo roof in the process of their fight with Happosai. _'__Ah geez, I won't hear the end of it from Mr._ _Tendo after I get back there…__'_ The male chúi internally reasoned. _'__Maybe I __**should **__lay low for a bit, or at least for a day or two until things cool down.__'_

Aloud, the black chúi said, "Umm, actually guy's I think stayin' here might be a bit better. That way we can more easily plan out our moves fer tomorrow, ya know?"

"Yeah, and if the old ghoul comes up with some quick and easy fix, I'll be here and the first to know!" the red weapon further explained.

Growling, Akane's anger skyrocketed. "You just want to be smothered and groped some more by Shampoo, don't you? It doesn't matter _what_ you look like, or _what_ gender you are! The dirty pervert in you always shines through, doesn't it?" She furiously questioned the inanimate objects.

"It's always gotta be about '_perverts_' with you, don't it?" The black chúi questioned. "I'm just tryin' ta plan things out!" He then thought the following, '_And to save my ears from the sound of old man Tendo's cryin'__. P__lus, Nabiki's gotta be back soon, and she'll probably try and charge me for everything!' _

All throughout this, Cologne and Shampoo watched in amazement as Ranma _actually _tried to persuade Akane into letting them stay at the café. It made the young Chinese girl's heart soar to know that, for whatever the reason, her husband wanted to be with her.

"Oh, I'm so _sure_! Well see if I care!" Akane bellowed, turning her head over to the nearby clock and, reading that it was already past eight, she continued, "It's getting late anyway! I'm gonna go head back now." But once again she stopped, this time to turn to the direction of Cologne. "Oh and umm, sorry again about what I did to your stove. I'll make sure to pay for the damages… The meal we all cooked was very good either way!" she said with a small bow.

Akane's demeanor rapidly switched again though when she moved over to Shampoo. "_You__,__" _she articulated with a finger pointed out. "Don't you try anything funny! If I see Ranma acting like a zombie or something tomorrow, I'll lift both up and smash you with him! I don't care _who _is supposed to 'wield' them!" she exclaimed, her rant now finally coming to an end.

Shampoo yawned bemusedly before answering back, "Akane worry too too much. Shampoo keep _good _care of Airen for night. Ranma have real fun time," she finished, missing any possible subtext that could be hidden in her own words.

Amidst the arguing of the teenagers, Nodoka started with a sigh, "Well… I suppose it make sense, in a roundabout sort of way. It will almost be like having to stay at the hospital for the night when you're injured." '_Regardless of what I think of her, Ms. Cologne is the only one I can think of who could turn Ranma back__.__ I'll have to put up with it for now.' _Turning to face the elder, she said, "Just make sure to contact us if anything important happens."

Cologne nodded, honestly quite surprised at the turn of events. Regardless, she gave off the follow response, a small bit of almost unnoticeable eagerness filling her voice, "Yes, of course, it'll be the first thing on my mind." She finished, internally though she had a Cheshire cat sized grin. Ranma was actually going to spend the entire evening, _alone _with Shampoo! This was marvelous!

"Well… alright then." She then indicated towards Akane, "I suppose we should take our leave as it's getting quite on in the evening. Do you want to walk back with me, Akane?"

Letting her anger subside for the moment, Akane replied, "Sure Auntie, that sounds fine."

"Good." Then turning her attention to her two children, she said, "Take care, son! I'm sure Akane will be back in the morning to prepare for your little trek across town."

"Yah, bye Mom, I'll be alright here," the black hammer replied.

"Yeah, later you two," the red chúi added.

After several more brief conformations and goodbyes, (as well as a bit more bickering between Akane and the two Ranmas) both the youngest Tendo and the Saotome matriarch headed off back to the dojo, much to the relief of Cologne.

"Okay then, Shampoo," The Amazonian elder stated, moving off to compose a letter back to her colleagues about the incident. "I'll leave you with Ranma for the while. I've got some writing to attend to."

"Okay's Great-Grandmother!" Shampoo stated, lifting the two chúi up near face level. "Shampoo so happy Airen's staying with her! We have real great time! It be like real long date!" She happily yelled with her tone bright and cheerful.

"H-hey! This ain't any date!" The obsidian tool vehemently explained. "I'm just stayin' so we don't have to do any extra back an' forth tomorrow!"

"'Sides, things ain't gonna be too much fun around here once Mousse gets back," the red hammer said.

Blinking a few times, Shampoo realized that the hidden weapon's martial artist had been missing all day, with nary a peep from him since she smacked him through the Cat Café's roof. "Shampoo almost forget about duck-boy, we been too too busy with other things… Wonder what he up to?"

* * *

_Meanwhile, several hours ago, in some obscure, low population suburb… _

Mousse wandered, traversing this jungle that was supposed to be some sort of residential area. What made things worse though was the fact that he was quite tired. He had spent his entire morning running across town making deliveries to ungrateful, arrogant, low tipping Japanese people. His only shining beacon of hope was that Shampoo would greet him upon his return to what that dried up old mummy called a restaurant, only to find out that the vile Ranma Saotome had wormed his presence into there as well.

His mood though took a turn for the better when he was told that the pigtailed martial artist had, somehow, got magically turned into a pair of hammers! (Mousse _knew_ there was some form of karmic irony in there… somewhere, he was still trying to pinpoint it.) Oh, the visions he saw in his head! Him and Shampoo, happily married as the two weapons collected dust in some far off storage room, pitying themselves in their own loneliness. Like most things in his life though, it was too good to be true, and even in the reduced state he was in, Saotome further had to mock him, with Shampoo striking the nearsighted boy on the head and sending him to the far flung place he was now.

He silently cursed the effects of comedic violence and its ability to cause completely illogical things to the laws of physics. Mousse was quite sure he was in _some_ part of Tokyo, he just wasn't sure _which_. He had awoken in a man sized crater about an hour ago in a half dazed stupor. While he assumed the initial smack caused him to be roughly shaken into unconsciousness, he figured though that it soon lead to him drifting off into a much needed snooze.

'_That dried up hunk of beef jerky made me mop up the floors all night last night__, I__ didn't get a wink of sleep,' _he contemplated. Still, despite the fact that he got himself that needed power-nap in, he was still annoyed. Aside from the fact that he had a kink in his neck, he just simply wasn't sure where he was. While yes, he _knew_ he had to be somewhere in the general vicinity of Nerima, he, being the foreigner he was, knew little of its urban landscape and geography. He had asked several people for directions but much like a confused and bewildered tourist, he only _got_ about half of them.

Making his way to what he thought was the right direction the last person he talked to told him to go in, he half considered finding some cold water and taking a literal _bird's eye view _of his surroundings. The reason for his hesitation though, was that if in the end he still didn't know where he was, he'd be lost… without any proper clothes on for when he wanted to change back. And trying to quickly redress himself in some foreign part of the prefecture was not something Mousse wanted to experience that day.

Weighing his options further, and trying to keep up with the street names and land marks he was told to follow, Mousse turned his eyes over to a nearby, semi-vacant construction lot he was passing. Of which, he noticed, a tiny, roughly single man sized tent was propped up along with a small cooking pot of what appeared to be some form of low-grade soup. What surprised him more though was, at that moment, a black haired bandanna wearing young man wearing what looked like a canary yellow tunic popped out from the flap in the tent.

'_Is that…_ _Ryoga Hibiki? Oh the irony in this! Am I really going to ask someone who can't walk his way out of a paper bag for directions back to Nerima?... Well, I suppose, I mean, he must have the lay of the land ingrained in his mind at this point, right? You can teach even the stupidest animal tricks if you just keep repeating them… And well, it's not like I have anything to lose__. B__esides, I want to get off my feet for a bit, I think Shampoo's smack might have twisted my ankle." _Finishing his inner-monologue, Mousse started marching over to the tent, giving off a semi-formal, semi-friendly, wave at the boy he was aiming to talk to. (Which he noted, seemed to be completely ignorant of his approach.)

Ryoga Hibiki had spent his entire day being lost. Of course though, that was par for the course in the tragedy that was his life. Having to scrounge about in the wilderness because he couldn't find his way back to his home due to his inept sense of direction really gave him an appreciation for the simple things in life. Namely the cheap, MSG ridden can of soup he was now cooking over his homely little fire. He always made sure to put the lion's share of his meager funds into buying food and sustenance

While yes, it would most likely be more intelligent to save enough to fill his pack with at least an _adequate _amount of medical supplies, if he so needed them, and he should _probably _buy at least a few more extra pairs of clothes, given the fact that he'd been wearing the same pair for a week now. (Regardless of the fact he'd washed it.) His simple life experiences overruled these thoughts and concepts as memories of times in his youth, when he was lost out in the dark woods and scared to death of the things around him, hunger for nourishment filling his mind. Until he learned the art of hunting, he would sometimes have to go days without anything in his belly, with one or two occasions where he really did think he might die of starvation

The thought terrified him, and sent shivers down his spine. And so, regardless of how rich and tasty the fauna of whatever land around him lied, he always made sure to pack extra preservative filled food in his pack, just in case of the worst case scenario.

Lifting the old, rusted ladle he used to stir things with, Ryoga smiled. The cheap beef stew he made was done. Licking his lips a bit, he leaned in, ready to take a bite…

"Soup looks good! Mind if I join in?"

…Right when Mousse took a seat right next to him and spoke up.

"Wah!' Ryoga exclaimed, surprised by the Duck-boy's impromptu appearance. His frightened state caused him to jostle the ladle out of his hand, causing the steaming hot stew to land right on his face.

"Wah!" he exclaimed again, only this time out of pain and frustration, rather than in fear and fright.

"Oh, uhh, sorry, did I scare you? …I did wave," Mousse said, sounding somewhat apologetic, with a tinge of the nonchalant in his voice.

Wiping the red hot liquid off of his face, the lost boy growled, showing off one of his fanged teeth. "What the hell do you want?... Mousse? It _is_ Mousse, right?" he asked, remembering the trademarked robes and glasses that the Chinese boy wore.

Nodding his head, Mousse replied, "Yes, it's me, Mousse. We know each other… I'm sorry if I startled you."

"I-it's fine, just don't do it again, alright?" Ryoga stated, receiving a nod from the glasses wearing boy. "But, what are you doing out here?" Stopping for a moment, a thought entered his head. "Wait, is this Nerima?" Ryoga asked, his eyes wide.

Facing twitching in disappointment slightly, Mousse answered him, "Ah, well, I was hoping _you'd_ know that. You see, I'm, well, sort of lost." He said the last part with a small chuckle.

"…Y-you thought I'd know? I've spent half my life having no clue where I was, and the other half dreading the moment when I realize I'm lost again!" He let off a quick guffaw, "If you're lookin' for directions, you're barking up the wrong tree," he stated almost sardonically.

"Oh, uh, yeah, well, I just sort of saw your tent up and decided to give it a shot. Sorry if I bothered you," Mousse said, standing up and dusting himself off.

Raising his hands up in protest, Ryoga tried to stop him. "Wait- wait. Sorry, that was kind of rude of me. Like I said, you just sort of caught me off guard." Looking around for a moment, he pulled out a relatively clean extra bowl from his pack. "You said you wanted some? It's not much, but you can take what you can if you want."

Surprised by the gesture, Mousse sat himself down once more, and took the offered bowl. "Ah, thank you, I haven't really eaten anything today," he said, pouring himself a small portion but leaving plenty left for the lost boy, who was quite used to rationing his food.

Shrugging, Ryoga replied, "No problem." He too filled out his share of the soup. "So you said you're lost. How'd that happen?"

"Ah, well, it's sort of confusing; I don't really have all the details myself…" Mousse mumbled, dodging answering the question.

Looking to the back of him at the already set up tent, Ryoga replied, "Well, camp's already put up for the night. I don't _think_ I'll be going anywhere. If you to talk, feel free, it's your time you'll be usin'." Truthfully, Ryoga was actually pleasantly surprised at the duck-boy's appearance. He didn't have anything _personal_ against Mousse. In fact, they've teamed up on multiple occasions; they just never actually talked to each other. It was sort of weird, he noted.

"Well, alright. I suppose, while I eat," Mousse stated, taking a sip of the soup. It tasted exactly as one would expect a can of beef stew would taste. Not particularly mind blowing, but it'll do. "It all started…"

From there he recounted the notable parts of his day, explaining how he hadn't gotten sleep the night before, to covering, in his opinion, some of his more amusing deliveries for the day, to his return to the Cat Café and his brief, and mostly confusing encounter, with a pair of weaponized Ranmas and how he, so to speak, went _head to head_ against them.

"W-w-wait! What was that last part? Ranma got turned into like, hammers or something?" Ryoga questionably exclaimed.

"…Yes, I don't really get it either. I was there for about five minutes but I did see two talking battle chúi that both sounded like Ranma's male and female forms respectfully. The old dried up mummy did her best to reduce her explanation to as few a words as possible. So from what I gather, a magic spell got cast upon Saotome and he ended up as a pair of weapons," Mousse explained, noticing the varying degrees of emotions running through the lost boy's face.

"Umm, did you get all that?" The glasses wearing boy asked, using the question as more as an icebreaker than anything else.

"So… So if Ranma's got turned into a hammer or whatever… That means… That means Akane doesn't have to put up with him anymore!" the lost boy exclaimed. While yes, in recent months he had taken great solace in the care and devotion Akari had brought him, he still had an ever burning flame in his heart for his first love, the youngest Tendo daughter. And to know that she was most likely alone and under a great amount of distress caused him to stand up right.

"I-I, uhh, I guess?" Mousse half answered, half questioned, trying to follow the lost boy's train of thought.

"I gotta - I gotta go! Akane needs me!" He said frantically looking around the area around him, trying to locate his backpack. After quickly finding it, it being where he least expected it, slightly off to the right beside him, he lifted it up and made sure he had at least a few amenities he'd need.

"Hey! Thanks for the info! I gotta run!" Ryoga yelled, already dozens of feet away, and leaving a small dust trail in his wake.

Flabbergasted at the bandanna wearing boy's response to the tale, Mousse sat squarely on the ground; occasionally taking bites from his stew. "He doesn't even know where he's going, does he?" he stated to no one in particular.

Looking around him once more, he noticed that Ryoga had essentially left his entire camp set up with only his pack missing. "Well, that's a waste."

* * *

Some time had passed since Akane and Nodoka had left the Cat Café, and things were winding down for the evening. Shampoo and the two Ranmas were trying to pass the time and ignore the major issues of their situation by conversing with each other. The three of them were currently lying on the carpeted floor of the lavender haired Amazon's room. Said Amazon was currently wearing a lightly colored green pajama set with small caricatures of cats on them, (Much to the dismay of the two Ranmas, though they were cartoony enough to not cause _too _much of an alarm, though one would wonder what a chúi would be like while caught in the cat fist) having just taken a shower to wash off the accumulated grime for the day.

Smiling, Shampoo stared across at the two hammers as they recounted a tale of how, when Ranma was younger, he and his father had to hide out from a pack of oddly intelligent wolves. "…So we tricked em' into thinking it was actually their _leader _who stole the food, instead a Pops, and well…" the black chúi paused. "We didn't really see what happened afterwards since we were too busy runnin'."

"Yeah, even though they were smart, they were actually _pretty dumb_," the red chúi mused, finishing off the tale. "We didn't see much of them after that. I think we left fer Osaka a few days later…"

"Wow! Ranma live crazy life even _before_ Nerima." Shampoo exclaimed. '_It's so nice to just talk to Airen__. W__henever I tried before, he'd always go off and leave, or have Akane interrupt me. I know I shouldn't really be happy because of all this, especially not while Ranma's stuck, but at least we can finally get a chance to know each other some more. Besides, his, (and I guess in this case) hers story's are actually really interesting!"_

"Shampoo never really travel _that _much before meeting Airen," Shampoo stated, recalling the various locales and spots she had visited ever since Ranma turned her life upside down. "Just small towns outside Amazon village. After that though, she get to travel to all _crazy _places, and not just when she hunt you over kiss of death."

"Hehe! _Yeah_…" the black hammer laughed. He then asked, with a surprising amount of innocence in his voice, "Uh, Shampoo, I don't know if you realize this, but I'm pretty sure the _red one_ of me over there is a girl. Why aren't cha tryin' ta kill, or I guess, destroy her?"

"W-w-what?" The red Ranma angrily asked. "Oh- oh you bastard! Are you tryin' ta sell me out or somethin'?"

"Hey! I'm just wonderin'," The black chúi attempted to defend himself. "It's sorta been on my mind and I wanted ta know!"

Smiling warmly at their antics, Shampoo lifted both the weapons up to eye level and grinned at them. "Silly Ranmas, Airen is airen! It don't matter what you look like or if boy or girl. Shampoo love yous no matter what! Besides, you born man, so kiss of death don't matter, even if part girl now," she finished with a full Cheshire cat grin.

Between the two, their mumblings were nigh incoherent, with various "Uhs", "gees", and "thanks" thrown about as they tried to figure out a coherent way to reply to what was essentially Shampoo declaring her undying devotion.

Before anything could come of it, Shampoo's attention was drawn to something else. While still staring between the two chúis, she finally took note of something beyond the ki eyes of her companions. Upon the base of the bludgeoning portion of both the weapons were four stylized, yet functional yin and yang symbols aligned on the different ends of the two chúis. While it was common for hammers such as these to have some form of basic artistic design added to it, Shampoo felt it oddly fitting given the duality of Ranma's character.

"Uh, Shampoo?" the black hammer asked, a small amount of concern in his voice. "Somethin' the matter? You've been lookin' at us without sayin' anything for the past minute now."

Shaking her head in an oddly cute fashion, Shampoo reassured him, "No Ranma, Shampoo just thinking something, is nothing wrong."

"Oh, ah, good then…" he answered back.

Before any real sense of awkwardness could fill the air, the red chúi piped up, "So! Shampoo! We've been blabbin' on about what it was like livin' on the road with Pops, but what's it like at that Amazon village place ya come from? We uh, didn't get to stay too long last time I went…" she finished, letting the last part sort of drift off.

"Ah! Airen want know about Nǚjiézú?" Shampoo asked. Pausing for a moment, she continued, "It very nice place to live. We raise too too strong warriors there. It kind of quiet though. Only few hundred peoples live in it, not big hustle and bustle like Tokyo, everyone know everyone there!" She saw the two chúis staring at her intently and decided to give a little more back story on her home. "Village used to war with other villages centuries ago, but that not happen much now. Most other villages gone…" Shampoo got a bit of a far off look in her eyes.

"Umm, Shampoo?" the obsidian hammer prodded. "Something wrong?"

"Ah! No! Umm, Shampoo just think of things she learn back in school… They told us new cities cause old warrior villages to disappear, cause they 'not needed' anymore. That why they taught us that it was important to follow tradition, so old ways don't die out." she finished, her tone neutral.

"Is that why you got wrapped up in this whole kiss a death, kiss a marriage thing?" the red chúi asked, slightly worried. "Cause you're worried about your village?" Did Shampoo only try and treat her nice because she was following some sort of tradition thingy?

"Oh! No! Well, Shampoo follow kiss of _death_ only because of tradition. Shampoo no really like to _kill _people, she never done it before, but she will if she have to," the currently pajama wearing girl stated.

"Yeah, that makes sense… I guess," the male Ranma replied. "It's about honor right? My Mom is all about honor. She's real traditional like that."

Nodding her head a few times, the lavender haired girl replied, "Shampoo saw, she carry around old Japanese sword. Is real weird," she absentmindedly contemplated.

The female chúi practically shivered. "Yeah… real weird." At the moment, the red Ranma started to think about her predicament, something she had been doing her best to avoid. Just _what_ exactly was gonna happen to her? '_I mean, assumin' I don't get stuck as a hammer fer the rest of my life… What if I end up stuck in my girl body by the end a this? Would- Would my Mom try and make me commit seppuku? I really can't tell with her…"_

Noticing the red weapon's sullen tone, Shampoo questioned her, "Is something wrong Girl-Ranma-chúi?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, nothin', just thinkin' about tomorrow! We're gonna get that damn orb back right?" she asked, though the way she said it, it could almost be looked at as a statement.

Giving a firm nod, Shampoo replied, "We do everything we can to get Ranmas back to normal." Turning her head to a nearby clock, she noticed that it was starting to get late. "Shampoo think it bout time we go sleep. Need to be up first thing tomorrow so we can find lady with orb," she reasoned.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea," the male chúi seconded.

Shampoo went about doing her evening routine, setting everything in place as it should. (Including putting both weapons on the now cleaned off desk near to her bed) Finally, after brushing her teeth and combing out her hair one last time, Shampoo turned off the lights and prepared for sleep.

"Night Airens, hope you have too too nice dreams!" the lavender haired girl whispered out.

"Yeah, get some rest yourself Shampoo," the black hammer added.

As the two weapons attempted to get some shut eye, they noticed something quite peculiar. They seemed to be completely and utterly awake with no sense of fatigue or sleepiness at all. After over a half hour or so of trying to fall into slumber, an idea popped into the red Ranma's mind.

"Psst, hey- psst, you awake?" she asked, voice almost a complete whisper.

"Yeah, what's wrong?" the obsidian Ranma replied.

"What's wrong? The fact that we can't sleep!" she stated, her voice a little louder but not enough to wake Shampoo.

"Yeah, what's up with that?" he questioned back. "I know we really didn't do much movin' around today, but we should still be a _bit _tired."

"Ya think us being transformed caused our biology or somethin' to be messed up?" she asked, attempting to give light to the situation.

"What biology? I'm pretty damn sure we don't have any organs…" the male Ranma drawled.

"You know what I mean! What are we gonna do if we can't sleep?" she asked.

"I dunno… This could be a pretty big problem… We're gonna have to asked the old ghoul in the mornin'," he thought.

"Wait, you sayin' we just wait here, and do nothin'?" the red chúi asked back.

"What else we gonna do? You wanna go wake everyone up to complain? I mean, we're _hammers_ right now; it ain't like we weren't expectin' to have a few extra problems now that we aren't human."

"Yeah… I guess, but still…" The crimson Ranma let her sentence die out and instead just let off a sigh.

As the two sat there, trying, but failing, to fall asleep, a single thought ran through their minds:

It was gonna be a long night.

* * *

Ryoga Hibiki was currently running along the streets, of what he hoped was Nerima. He was trying to find his way back to the Tendo dojo. While yes, it was probably a bit too late to hop in as his regular self; it most likely _wasn't_ for a certain small piglet. Besides, he needed to get some perspective on the whole situation going on, and there's no better reconnaissance then a little "P-chan time".

As he continued to move about, looking for the telltale signs of Akane's home, he was caught completely unawares when he accidentally bumped into someone. Flinching back for a moment, Ryoga focused his vision and noticed they were in fact, a trio of someones, and all of them attempting to cover their faces and figures via mildly conspicuous coats.

Not one to judge any particular oddness that could be found in (what he hopefully thought was) Nerima, in turn, he ignored their appearance and quickly apologized, "Oh! Uh, sorry, guess I didn't see where I was going, hehe. Umm, Ma'am?' he said, hand behind his head, his fingers ruffling the back of his hair. He assumed it was a woman from the person's outlining shape.

The cloaked figure and her cohorts remained silent for a moment, as if unsure how to react. "…It's fine," she simply stated.

Smiling slightly, the lost boy's face turned to confusion when, for a brief moment, the moonlight glimmered just right and he got a glimpse of the girl's face.

"W-wait, is that- what are _you_ doing here?"

* * *

**A/N: Ugh, okay, **_**that **_**chapter's done. I have really mixed feelings about this whole thing. On one hands… very little happened, and it just **_**now **_**seems like I'm starting to develop the plot, but at the same time, I think I put in some much needed character interaction, and a bit of development. Still, there needs to be a ton more for this thing to work out smoothly.**

**I tried my best to add some decent conversations with Shampoo and Ranma, I think they turned out okay, they were pretty fun to write, I hope I didn't shaft Akane when it came to things here, I know I could of added a bit more dialog for her, but at the same time, this story really **_**isn't **_**meant to be that much of an ensemble piece, and I'm trying to focus where everything goes.**

**I actually really enjoyed writing Mousse and Ryoga's scenes, especially the part where it was just them talking. I can't really remember any story where it was just those two shooting the breeze without any other characters around. Still, I didn't want it to get too long winded, so I cut it a bit short. Hopefully that whole part served its purpose.**

**Also! I finally introduced the antagonist! I assume a few people are going to stat guessing, but I hope my choice works out well and makes sense in the end.**

**Anyway, I'm gonna try my best to properly map out how the pacing goes, so I'm not sure when the next chapter will happen. If worse comes to worse, when I get things properly moving, I might have to throw in a few semi-filler chapters so I can make the character development more believable, and not seem rushed. Hopefully that won't make you all sop reading.**

**Thanks for stopping by! **

**10/10/10: Editing provided by R.T. Stephens**


	5. Gaijin girls galore!

Disclaimer: I in no way own any of the rights to the works of Rumiko Takahashi, I am simply just writing this for my own enjoyment.

**A/N: Hey there everyone! I'm back again for the fifth chapter of "Chúi"! Hope you all like it!**

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Shampoo yawned, wearily blinking her eyes open as the early morning Nerima sun beamed down upon the young girl through her window. Grumbling for a moment, she gently wiped away a bit of the crust that had formed on her eye as she, with utter care, contemplated the world around her. The purple haired Amazon wanted nothing more than to soundly fall back into dreamland but knew she had something- she wasn't awake enough yet to know what- to do today. Shaking her head, the currently half asleep girl stumbled out of bed, attempting to make her way to the bathroom to freshen up for the morning.

She stopped though when she heard, oddly enough, what sounded like the male voice her Airen whispering, "Hey Shampoo. G'mornin'."

Turning around, the confused girl's bleary eyes widened; able to make out a pair of red and black chúi laying on the stand by her bedside. Quickly, realization hit her. "Aiyah!" she said, wiping her eyes further while moving closer to the two tools to get a better look. "Is not crazy, crazy, dream after all! Ranmas got turned into hammers!"

"Uh, yeah Shampoo, we _kinda_ went over this yesterday," the red weapon replied.

Cracking a bit of a smile and scratching the back of her head, Shampoo tried to explain. "Umm, sorry Airens… Shampoo not real morning persons. She need wake up first."

"Aw, it's okay. I understand the feelin'," said the black chúi. He paused momentarily though, before continuing. "Ya know I never get any real sleep at the Tendo's either and stuff. Akane's always yellin' at me to get up- or worse, pouring buckets a water on my head if I'm _really_ tired," he sympathetically responded.

Brow furrowing a bit, Shampoo frowned. She did not like the new information she had just received. She certainly wouldn't want to wake up with a splash of water in her face! "That not any good Airen. You need sleep, it important part of keeping healthy as a warrior. Great-Grandmother say so!... though you look pretty awake right now..." she groggily surmised, her mind still noticing that the two chúis seemed completely coherent.

"Uh, yeah… about that," the female Ranma stated. "We umm, couldn't sleep. Like, at all. We need ta talk to your Grandma about it."

Quite a bit more alert now, Shampoo blinked her eyes in confusion. "You… you were both awake for whole night?" The surprise in her voice was palpable.

"Yeah… I mean it wasn't _that _bad," the black chúi began to meander. "Actually, we talked for a bit… It was okay, I guess. But it was a little weird speakin' to someone who pretty much always has the same opinion as yours!"

"But… the _whole_ night?" Shampoo queried. "Is very long time to just sit there… why you not say anything?"

"It was really just a few hours," the female chúi explained. "Sides' we have stuff to do today and havin' everyone tired out cause we kept them up tryin' to figger out why we couldn't sleep wouldn't help anyone."

Shampoo smiled, happy to know that the person she loved cared about her enough to worry about her health… even if it was just so he could have her help him out in the end. "Still though… what you both talk about? Airens must have gotten _pretty_ bored just sitting there…"

"Eh, we talked about some crazy stuff I guess. Like, I think we're pretty sure, that, at some point, Kasumi's just gonna go and completely snap or somethn'."

Before the red hammer could finish, the male Ranma added the following, "The girl's just too darn nice. Somethin's up with her… Anyway, we also think we figured out that Kuno might be in the closet. I'm- I'm not sure how exactly we put things together, but I think a lot of it had to do with something about how he always carries that damn bokken around…", His voice petering off at the last bit.

Shampoo eyed the weapons oddly at the last statement, but shrugged. '_You can think up some pretty crazy things I suppose if all you can do is just sit around and talk__.__ Still, what I wonder is how I actually __**slept**__ through them speaking to each other for the entire night__.__E__ither my two Airens are very good at keeping themselves quiet or I'm a far deeper__ sleeper than I thought__.__ That doesn't bode well if I were ever ambushed.__' _"You can tell Shampoo in bit, we go down for breakfast first!" she finished cheerfully.

After a quick venture to the bathroom to wash her face and powder her nose, Shampoo returned, taking the two chúis with her downstairs to greet her Great-Grandmother. But upon reaching the first floor she was surprised to be interrupted by a rather energetic duck-boy.

"Oh! My beautiful Shampoo! How I missed you!" Mousse bellowed. Both Ranmas and Shampoo noted that his clothing appeared to be quite ragged. "It took me well into the night to find my way back here, but I've finally returned!" he explained, as he rushed forward to his beloved.

Shampoo easily dodged as Mousse attempted to latch on to her for a hug, her reflexes well trained at avoiding the sometimes feathered fiend. She felt the urge to strike out at him but restrained herself. While she didn't care for his affections, the lavender haired girl _did_ think of Mousse as somewhat of a friend and if it took him _that long_ to get to the Cat Café, then she figured he'd been in enough grief for the time being.

Giving off a "hmph", Shampoo replied back to his actions, "Stupid Mousse, she no have to send flying if not insult Airen when he hurt!"

Mousse, unfazed by the now commonplace rejection he received from her, adjusted his glasses and noticed the two weapons the young girl was brandishing. "…Saotome," he spoke, a good amount of venom in his voice.

"Oh, uh, hey Mousse, what's up man?" The female Ranma asked; her voice casual and nonchalant. "How's life treatin' ya?"

"My _life_? I'll have you _know_ that because of _you_ I had to spend my entire day yesterday wandering around the greater Tokyo area, dealing with ignorant people and shady characters! I even had a run in with Ryoga Hibiki of all people! And it was your entire fault!" The Chinese boy seethed with rage as he looked at his metallic foe.

"…Wha-What the _hell_ does pig-boy have to do with anything?" The male Ranma stated, wholeheartedly not in the mood to deal with the glasses wearing boy right now. "Wait- wait, listen, I can't even _move_ right now, so why the heck are ya blamin' me for smacking you around? I mean, it was Shampoo that did all the work."

"You _dare_ insult my gorgeous Shampoo by trying to implicate her in any of this? Saotome! You are the lowest of the low! Prepare yourself!" Mousse yelled, about to launch himself at the two chúi.

Just as Shampoo was angrily winding up to send Mousse flying for the second time in the last forty-eight hours, a small, wrinkled shape burst forth to intervene. "I will not have any of you fighting in my home!" Cologne stated, staring down the group before her. "There's been enough damage here as is!"

Eyes widening and relaxed her stance, Shampoo replied, "Sorry Great-Grandmother."

"Hey! It ain't our fault," the black hammer exclaimed. "It was Mousse over there that started everythin'!"

"_Oh,_ you miniature man-mallet, I'll…" The glasses wearing boy mumbled, taking a slow, deliberate step towards the chúi…

…Right as he was smacked upside the head by Cologne's staff. "Enough! While this wonton violence _is_ unnecessary, peace around here would go a long way if _you_ Mr. part-time would cease your instigating!"

"Damn you, you shriveled up little-"

Mousse once again was interrupted when the Amazonian elder intervened. "In fact! Why don't you go sweep up the floors around here? It's getting to the point where I'd find it rather questionable to eat off them. Besides, you need to do some catching up; you practically took the day off yesterday!"

The Chinese boy glared at the old woman momentarily before begrudgingly sauntering off to get to work in the background. He knew that while he most certainly _didn't _like putting up with her, he had to come to terms that the wrinkled covered woman had complete control over his room and board,and his chances at earning Shampoo's affections would plummet dramatically if he didn't live with her. Not to mention that homelessness was not an idea that Mousse was particularly fond of.

"Hehe! Nice one old ghoul!" The crimson hammer exclaimed, glad to see the delivery boy getting knocked down a few pegs. "Ya really shut him up!"

Cologne smiled. After her hard pressed mental duel yesterday with that annoying Saotome woman, it felt good to properly be in control once more; she was over three hundred years old for God's sakes! She deserved at least a little respect! "Ah, thank you. But how are you three doing? Are you all ready for the big search we're having today?"

"Yes Great-Grandmother, we make sure and find orb!" Shampoo excitedly exclaimed.

"Good! Shampoo, why don't you prepare breakfast, then we can get ourselves set and prepared to head out."

Nodding her head, Shampoo replied, "Okays Great-Grandmother!"

"Umm, hey uh, Cologne?" The obsidian chúi attempted to ask as politely as possible, trying to not use the words "old", or "ghoul" anywhere in his sentence. "There's- well, there's a problem we've been havin' and I was wonderin' if you could help us out?"

Mildly concerned about the unsure tone of the boy, the elder replied, "Why certainly son-in-law. Shampoo, could you place the two on the table while you get to work?"

Slightly annoyed at having to let go of the Ranmas, Shampoo figured that leaving the two of them around in the kitchen probably wasn't the best idea anyway. So with a bit of reluctance, she murmured out the following, "Of course," before setting them down on an adjacent table. "Shampoo be right back Airen! She just go and make breakfast!"

After nodding her head at her granddaughter as she walked off, Cologne turned her attention to the two Ranmas. "Now, what seems to be the problem?"

"Well, the thing is, last night when we went to bed… we uh, well, couldn't fall asleep," the red Ranma stated. Noticing the inquisitive look the elder was giving her though, she continued. "And I don't mean that it was just hard, or somethin'. I mean we _couldn't_ fall asleep, like, no matter what we did we couldn't get a wink a shut eye."

"Yeah, it was freakin' weird," The black chúi followed-up. "We weren't tired at all. Heck, I don't know about her, but I still feel as awake as ever."

"Hmm, yes, well… I suppose it makes sense in a way," she stated, trying to ease the two youngster's minds. "Neither of you are human right now, and as I've explained earlier before, your body used its energy to turn yourselves into weapons. But your mind, your very self, are just pure ki right now. Your entire being is in an energy-like state. Some oddities like this were bound to happen." '_What worries me though is that to keep active and awake like this means that part of Ranma's energy is being drained out__.__ While I certainly was expecting to see __**something**__ of this matter to happen, it __**is**__ mildly disturbing to witness first hand.'_

"What do we do about it though?" the male Ranma queried.

Snapping out of her reverie, Cologne once again turned her attention back to the two. "Hopefully nothing. If all goes well, we'll have the orb by today and be able to change you back to normal… Though if luck doesn't go our way, I'll try and figure something that will help keep you both entertained. Have either of you ever considered learning Chinese?" she questioned.

Blinking her ki eyes at the question, the female Ranma replied, "Uh, well, I do know a bit from when me an' Pops traveled in China. ...But only because we'd be up a creek if we couldn't understand anyone while we were there," she stated, somewhat avoiding answering the question.

"Well, you should consider it anyway," The elder replied. "Knowing a second tongue can get you quite far in the world."

"Uh, sure…" The male chúi answered back; somewhat worried that he was being suckered into something.

What proceeded was several more minutes of polite conversation, (a bit of it regarding where the group would be checking out first) as well as some general early morning talk. Cologne was a bit pleased at the whole thing as she found talking to the two Ranmas to be far more enjoyable than speaking to Nodoka. There were no mind games or false words, just honesty mixed in with a bit of questionable uncertainty, as well as a dash of arrogant rudeness. While the last part she could go without, the Amazonian elder found the whole thing to be quite a refreshing change of pace from what she'd been previously dealing with.

Finally, Shampoo came into the room, carrying in what appeared to be several bowls of cooked rice as well as some diced fruit. It was a light meal to keep the group on their toes for the trials ahead today. "All done Great-Grandmother. Hope is good, it not much, but Shampoo no want to get too full."

"It looks fine, Shampoo dear," Cologne stated. "Thank you for taking care of it."

"Ah! Shampoo!" Mousse exclaimed, walking back into the room after finally finishing his quick sweep of the place. "You even made some for me, how thoughtful!"

"Shampoo know you just complain if she don't, so just sit down and eat!" She demanded, her left eye twitching irritably.

As the group sat down, enjoying their early morning meal, the conversation fully turned to the day's main activity. "So, the old ghoul says we should check out who's in the shopping part of a the district," the black hammer explained. "She said that one a of the people we might be lookin' fer are over there."

"Yes, well, that's the first one that comes to mind," Cologne clarified, pausing momentarily before continuing. "There are several other places to go searching, but I believe that is the safest bet. Regardless, I believe we can save time and effort by splitting off into groups. Assuming she shows up, Ms. Akane and you Shampoo-" She stopped to indicate towards her. "Should head off together one again. I'm strong enough to handle things on my own."

Before anyone could respond, Mousse butted in. "So you all are off on a hunt to change Saotome back to human, are you?" he dubiously asked, taking a bite off a piece of sliced pear.

"Yes, we get Ranma all fixed up and back to normal!" Shampoo exclaimed, determination filling her voice.

"Well then, I'll join in with you!" he replied, seemingly out of the blue.

"What?" the red chúi asked. "Why the hell do you _care_?"

"Hmm? I can't simply just wish to help you out?" Mousse stated innocently, only to receive blank stares back. "…Fine. I also don't want to leave Shampoo to fight with only a pair of inanimate objects, an untrained school girl and a dried up old mummy." He stated. '_Besides, I __**really**__ don't want to have to deal with any more hits from power __a__ packed pulverizer that is Ranma's hammer form__. G__etting those things out of the way would make my li__f__e __**quite**__ a bit easier.'_

"Foolish boy!" Cologne stated, before giving the glasses wearing Chinese warrior a smack on the head with her staff. "Respect your elders! Besides, you can't go; I need you here to watch over the café," she finished.

"You expect me to run this place by myself? Wait, you're actually _confident _enough in me to run this place by myself?" he stated, a mild amount of shock in his voice.

Cologne knew exactly that Mousse was trying to use reverse psychology on her, to trick her into letting him go. But at the same time, he raised a surprisingly valid point. She absolutely had _no _confidence to let him run the restaurant on himself. "_Fine_, I suppose. I doubt we'd do any proper business with just you around anyway. You can go, but you're coming with _me_ and if you try and pull anything suspicious, it's back in the cage with you!" She exclaimed, her voice entirely serious.

Eyes glazing over momentarily, he mumbled the following, "It gets so cold…" Before snapping out of it and gulping silently. "R-right, no- I-I won't do anything," he finished with a noticeable stutter in his voice.

Shampoo watched all of this by the sidelines, finally taking the last bite of her meal of which she had been eating at a rather steady pace to get things moving faster. "Shampoo done Great-Grandmother. She put things away then get ready!" she said, quickly excusing herself from the table, deciding to the leave the two chúi in the elder's care for the time being.

"Of course Shampoo, we'll leave shortly," Cologne stated. "We don't want to waste any unnecessary time."

"This is great," the black chúi stated. "I'm really getting' tired of just sittin' around here." The black chúi stated.

Before anyone could comment back, several hard knocks could be heard coming from the restaurant's main entrance. "Oh! That must be Ms. Akane; she decided to join us today after all."

Opening the door, the elder was surprisingly greeted not only by the blue haired tomboy, but by Ranma's father as well. "Hello, I hope we're not too early," Akane stated greeted.

"Ah, greetings Ms. Tendo… And Mr. Saotome as well!" Cologne stated. Mentally though, she was happily remarking how a certain Saotome matriarch was absent from the newly arrived ensemble. "We sort of lost you there yesterday, didn't we? What _have _you been up to? Regardless, your timing is perfect; we were just now getting ready to head off."

"Pops?" the unable to move red chúi asked from across the room, ignoring the fact that while she was saying this, Mousse was absentmindedly poking the two hammers, trying to see how they worked. "Is that you? What the hell have you been up to?"

"Pipe down boy!" Genma yelled, inviting himself in the café. "It's a long story!"

"Your _father_ showed up at the dojo sometime late last night," Akane stated with a small, exacerbated sigh. "I was asleep by then, so I'm not exactly sure when he got there, but he hasn't said a word about what he'd been doing yesterday."

Sweat appearing on his brow, Genma crossed his arms and closed his eyes in an attempted to make a sage like gesture. "It's- it's complicated, nothing that needs to be looked over too deeply mind you. Let's just say I had my own personal adventure while you lot were off wandering about! Just- just don't be surprised if by the time you all go back to school they've changed the mascot to a panda, or something," he finished.

"…Nabiki put a leash on you and starting charging people to 'ride the panda', didn't she Pops?" the male Ranma drawled.

"Quiet boy! It's none of your business!"

Before things could deteriorate any further, Shampoo came bouncing down the stairs, wearing a red cheongsam with gold lining around the edges. "Ah, Pervert-girl and Panda-man is here! Nihao!" she greeted.

"Hello to you too, Shampoo," Akane casually stated, though mildly annoyed at the girl's upbeat tone. Regardless, she walked on over to the two Ranmas and acknowledged them more formally, swatting away Mousse's hands in the process. "So! Did either of them do anything to you? Did they leave you brain-dead?" she queried.

"I ain't brain-dead ya stupid ole' tomboy!" The female Ranma remarked. "I was just talkin' a few seconds ago!"

"Well, I _had_ to make sure; they could have just been really smart sounding grunts," the blue haired girl replied, tongue firmly in cheek.

"Hey! That was _rude!_" The black chúi demanded. "What the hell did I do ta you?"

"Want me to name off the list?" she countered.

Before Ranma could reply, or Akane could start naming things off, Shampoo intervened, picking the two hammers up. "Airens no have time to deal with silly Pervert-girl; we need get leaving too too quickly!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, can we get goin' now?" the red chúi urgently asked. "We're wastin' time just standin' here."

"Remind me again, just _where_ exactly in particular we're heading to?" Mousse asked, turning himself to the direction of where Cologne was standing. "You said something about the shopping district, didn't you?"

"Shampoo and Akane should head near the downtown shopping area," Cologne suggested. "One of the possible suspects appears to be culminating around there, though the particular ki signature has seemingly been sporadically moving about. Shampoo, this should be the perfect time for you to test out that energy tracking ability I've been teaching you." She turned to look at the girl, who gave her a firm nod. "While Mr. Part-time, Genma, and I-" she articulated, pointing to the two men, "are going to head over to the residential area. There's a person there with a single, but large source of energy and definitely female. This one could very well have the orb," Cologne explained.

"Well, seems like we got this all sorted out," the male Ranma stated from within the grasp of Shampoo. "Let's head out!"

"Hey, wait! What if we find the person we're looking for and they don't have the orb?" Akane asked. "Should we all just keep searching, or meet up somewhere?"

"That's actually a good question," Cologne complimented. "If you all find someone, and they don't have the transmutation orb, we'll just keep on moving to the nearest likely ki source. If any of us end up too battered or bruised, we should all meet up back here to recover. We may end up fighting some extremely powerful opponents, so we don't want to overexert ourselves," Cologne finalized. "But we've wasted enough time, let's get going."

Letting off a cough, Genma attempted to garner the attention of the group. "Yes! No time like the present! Let's get on with this!" He stated. '_The sooner we get this over with, the sooner I can get that Chinese girl away from Ranma!'_

_

* * *

_

Yuri Summers, a young blonde-blue eyed half gaijin girl, with a pair of unusually sized breasts, was having a complete blast, looking around and purchasing various things from the shops in the district of Nerima. And although, as she'd been informed by her two chauffeurs, that the stores in the area were nothing compared to the ones found in the Tokyo metropolis, (and certainly not anything to Los Angeles, her home city) she still marveled at being able to learn more about her other half of her heritage.

You see, Yuri's father was an American, an almost stereotypical one at that, with sun-kissed blonde hair and a height towering well over six feet. The one notable thing that set him apart though was that he had a deep love and interest for the martial arts and traveled the world to master various skills and abilities. It was on an extended trip to Japan though, Nerima to be specific, that he fell in love with the woman that would become Yuri's mother. And from there, a typical romance bloomed.

The girl's father would live in the country for her to see her second birthday. Then, wanting to make a better life for his family; took a risk and decided to start his own martial arts school back in America, moving his family there with him. Against all odds, the venture succeeded and Yuri's family grew very rich. Today though, as a present for her seventeenth birthday, the blonde haired girl would receive a two weeks visit to her home country. And although her parents couldn't attend due to business reasons, she was given two powerful disciples of the family school. One "_Jack Iron_" and "_Robin Red_" would take care of her should she get into trouble.

"Like, this is so_ totally_ cool! I've always wanted to know what the place I was born in looked like!" Yuri stated in fluent Japanese, though with at tinge of what would translate as a "valley girl" accent. "There's just _soo_ much stuff here. The fashion's like, all different and the celebrity's are too! And wow! Some of the boy's are so totally _dreamy_! Like, what's that word they use here? Oh- oh yeah… they're '_bishonen__,_" she finished with a light giggle, a giddy amount of energy obviously filling her voice.

"Yes, well Ms. Summers, they're plenty of other sights to witness in the province," _Jack Iron_ said, a tall brown haired man, donning a crew cut while wearing a black suit. "I'm sure you'll be quite surprised by what you'll find in the capitol." He was somewhat on edge though. He was told by Yuri's father that Nerima had quite its fair share of oddities and he didn't want the young girl to get hurt.

"Yeah, yeah, I _know__,_" she said, waving him off. "I just want to see this place a little bit more, kay'?" Yuri finished.

"Take as long as you want lass!" _Robin Red_ said_, _a very peculiar man. "You've got the whole two weeks ta enjoy! No need to rush yourself!" He had flaming scarlet hair, shaped into dreadlocks, with an accent that made him sound of Irish decent. He was far more lax than his brown haired counterpart.

"You should be more alert; this is where sensei learned almost all of his skills," Jack reprimanded. "Who knows what dangerous people may be laying in wait?"

"Eh? Whatta ya talking about?" Robin said, patting his colleague on the back. "This seems like a safe enough place to me! You, my good friend, need ta slow down and _smell_ the roses! I tell ya, there ain't nothin' that's gonna happen!"

As Yuri hefted her shopping bags up, ready to enter a particularly alluring clothing store she just saw, she was interrupted by a large exploding wall, covering the general vicinity in a light cloud of smoke, causing the young girl to flinch back. "Hey! Like, what's the big idea?" she demanded.

"Stand back Ms. Summers!" the ever vigilant brown haired bodyguard called out. "We'll protect you!"

"Ooh, would'ja look at that," Robin said; voice filled with a small amount of wonder. "Seems we've got a few guests."

Rising up from the rubble was what appeared to be, oddly enough, two teenage girls. "Damn it, you Chinese bimbo!" Akane said, angrily chiding the purple haired Amazon woman, who was taking slow deliberate steps over the debris she just created. "Why the hell do you keep doing that? If it wasn't for the fact that everyone's _afraid_ of us we'd probably be arrested by now!"

"Is too, too good way to surprise enemy!" Shampoo replied, lifting up the two chúi in her hands. "They get _real _shocked when yous does that! Besides, Shampoo want test out how strong Airens is. She barely even tap wall and it go boom!" she said with a disturbing amount of enthusiasm.

Hand going to her forehead, Akane felt a headache starting to form. "It figures. You just want to test out your new toys, don't you?" she interrogated.

"Guys! Guys! Quit it!" The black chúi exclaimed. "This ain't getting' us nowhere! We're supposed ta be huntin' fer that damn orb!"

"Sides', didn't you say the chick with the big ki was around here Shampoo?" The red hammer pointed out. "We need to keep our eyes open!"

"Umm… scuse' me?" Yuri asked, taking a step forward, ignoring her bodyguard's pleas. "But like, who _are _you crazy people?"

"Huh?..." Shampoo said, ears perking at hearing the unfamiliar voice. But then shock hit her, as her newly trained ability made her realize that _this_ girl was the source of ki they were looking for. She also noticed that this young woman didn't particularly appear to be from around here. '_She also looks like she works part-time at a bordello…'_ With all this in mind, the lavender haired girl reaffirmed her battles stance. She answering back to the other lady's question, "I Shampoo. Am here to fix Airen and turn him back to normal! She need 'orb of transmutation' to do it. You have?"

"…What?" Yuri asked, confused. "Ah geez, I mean I know my Japanese like, isn't that good and all…but all I got from that was something about shampoo." Then a light went off in her head. "Wait! I totally just bought some!" she said, picking out a dark green bottle from one of her bags. "It's supposed to be a moisturizer, and it smells _real_ good too!"

Blinking a few times, the purple hair Amazon replied, "Stupid blonde lady! Shampoo no need shampoo! She need orb!" she demanded, the pun completely going over her head.

"Umm, sorry about this, let me try better to explain..." Akane said, the usually fiery tempered girl doing her best to mediate. "We're trying to find a really strange looking orb that has… uh, magic properties? And we need it to turn those two hammers over there-"

She pointed to the two chúi in Shampoo's hands. "Back… into… hu…mans…" The blue haired girl petered off, realizing how ridiculous she was sounding to anyone who wasn't immersed in crazy.

Having enough of this, the on edge bodyguard Jack leapt forth, forming an offensive battle stance. "Stand back Ms. Summers, these two girls are obviously insane. We'll take care of it from here."

"Aye, aye, move along lady's," Robin spoke up, trying to defuse things. "We're just passin' on through. Don't mean ya any trouble."

"Listen, we're just lookin' for this tiny orb thing," The female Ranma said. "It's about the size of a baseball. Purple, kinda glows, ya can't miss it."

"Hmm?" Jack said, a questioning look on his face, before he snapped his fingers together. "Ah, you study under the Sakamoto School of martial arts ventriloquism, don't you? I know it well," the crew cut guard said, rubbing his chin. "Though your dummy is highly irregular…"

"Hey!" The female Ranma said. "I'm no dummy ya idiot! You take that back!"

"I don't _know_, you seem like kind of blockhead to _me_," Akane drawled.

"Can it!" the obsidian hammer replied back.

"Wow!" The blonde girl said, running up next to Shampoo to examine it. "That's a totally cute little baton you got there. It even talks! Whoa…what's with the eyes?" she said, poking her right index finger into one of the beams of light on the girl Ranma's upper portion of the head.

"Hey, back off!" The crimson hammer demanded. "Quit pokin' me, I've had enough of that today!"

"Please, Miss…" Jack vainly tried to plead her to move back.

A vain forming the back of her head, Shampoo became annoyed. "Quit poking Girl-Ranma. She no do anything to you!" she said defensively taking a step back.

"Aww, come on," Yuri insistently replied back, a wide smile on her face as she moved towards the purple haired girl. "I just wanna see it!"

Angry now, Shampoo, wanting to get rid the persistent woman, did the first thing to come to her mind, striking out. With trained precision, she side swiped the girl in front of her.

To her great surprise, she found that she ducked down and somersaulted backwards, closer to the aid of her companions.

"That's going too far!" Jack exclaimed. "I will not have you harm the bosses' daughter!"

"Mmm, aye, these kids er' playin' a wee bit _too_ rough," Robin agreed. "We gotta calm em' down."

"W-wait, this is all just a mistake!" Akane vainly tried to prevent things from escalating.

"That's it!" The black chúi exclaimed. "Let's just pound'em. They ain't sayin' whether they got the orb or not, so we'll check for ourselves!"

"Okays Airen!" Shampoo replied, nodding wholeheartedly.

"Hold on! Just, wait- this doesn't have to… oh- oh screw it," Akane sighed, taking up a battle stance.

"Killer!" Yuri excitedly exclaimed. "I'm not even in town three days and I'm already getting to fight people! I hope they're strong!"

"Let's just get this over with!" the black chúi exclaimed.

With that, Shampoo leapt forward, performing a hard downward strike towards the blonde girl. "Yahh!"

Eyes sharpening, Yuri, using her speedy agility, daringly jumped over the purple haired girl, just as she was about to be struck. Seeing an opening, she charged! "Silent Viper's Swift Strike!" She exclaimed, (oddly enough, in English) thrusting her open palm at Shampoo's back.

"Ah!" the Chinese girl yelped as a sharp pain exuded from her back. '_She must know how to use pressure points!__' __s_he thought, as the searing pain ached for far longer then the meager blow should have.

"It totally burns, doesn't it?" The half gaijin girl said. "Daddy used it on me like, a bazillion times when he was teaching me it!" Gearing up for another strike though, she shot forward. "This one's worse though! *Ahem* Pouncing Tiger's Sharp Nails!" she said once again in a foreign tongue, her hand forming a claw like gesture.

Growling, Shampoo replied, "You _annoying_!" Twisting around, she hefted the heavy black chúi upwards.

"Huh?-" Yuri asked, but was halted when the rim of the hammer grabbed her by the side, and locked her in. Shampoo then thrust the trapped girl, sending her flying to a nearby building.

"Wah!" The American raised girl frantically yelped, her arms flailing, looking for something to latch on to. But she was quickly caught by her crew cut wearing sentinel.

"Please, be more careful Ms. Summers," He assuredly stated. "These women are clearly dangerous." Taking a step forward, he cracked his knuckles. "Besides, you shouldn't be fighting, you're on vacation. Let me handle things." As the last word was uttered, he jumped forth at striking speeds, his hand taking a crab like grip. "Yellow Crustacean's Fierce Lament!"

"I don't think so!" Akane said, speedily intervening between the lot; jabbing her elbow into Jack's stomach.

"Erk!" he smartly rebutted, having just been stopped dead in his tracks. "Hmm? You're fighting too?"

"You're damn right I am! I don't care _if _this is just some big misunderstanding, I've been waiting- just sitting around on the sidelines for months now and I'm tired of it! For once, I'm actually getting to blow off some real steam!" the angered blue haired girl said, launching out a bevy of quick punches at her foe. So fast quite a few managed to get though.

Noticing his partner's trouble, Robin stepped forth to join into the fray. "Oi, oi, that was a nice bit o' exposition there lass. But don't you think it's a wee bit of an unfair that you and that other girly with the talking mallets gets to have a go at me unarmed pal?"

"Huh?" Akane said, turning her head slightly as she saw the red haired man approach her, "What are yo-" But before she could say anything, the youngest Tendo was tossed to the side by what looked like an elongated red tendril!

"If you wanna, 'blow off some real steam,' how bout' ya take _me_ on for a whirl?" The Irishman said. His hands were in his pockets, as and several of his larger dreadlocks floated in the air, pointing themselves directly at the girl.

Regaining her composure, Akane looked wide faced, eye twitching at what she was seeing before her. "What kind of _perverted_-"

"I don't think now's the time ta be thinking about perverts missy," Akane's opponent said, his hair blasting forth for another onslaught. "You've got a fight ta worry about!"

Narrowly dodging the threads as they came at her, Akane did the first thing to come to mind; she punched the hair. '_You know, I've hit a lot of things in my life, mostly Ranma for being an idiot, but I never thought I'd end up fighting and hitting a __**hair**__ tentacle…_' Sadly though, her musings were cut short when her strike proved ineffective. With the dreadlocks merely just molding to the shape of her hand and not liking the enveloping feeling, she quickly jumped back.

"Yea-_yeeeeah_… that's not gonna' work," Yuri's peculiar bodyguard said, taking several steps forward while his main choice of offense continued to not let up on the girl. "Ya gotta think kiddo! It's hair. Don't be daft, ya can't just punch it!"

Having tried several more efforts, from trying to cut it with a swift chop, to just down right tearing it, Akane realized she was starting to run out of options on how to defeat her enemy's (surprisingly) silky smooth weapon. '_I can't think of it like normal hair__. H__e's using energy to beef it up… That's why it's growing so long. Bu-but how do I stop it?'_ Looking onwards, directly at her opponent's slow moving form, realization hit her. '_That's it!'_

With determination in her eyes and fire burning in her gut, Akane charged past the seemingly sentient hair, blocking and countering all along the way, until she was mere _feet_ away from Robin's form. "I got you!" she exclaimed.

Shrugging a bit, and giving a snort, Akane was shot back, tossed almost absentmindedly back by a practical _wall_ of tresses that blasted forth from his center. "_Please_, as if everyone and their mother's sweet patootie haven't tried that one!... I've worked up a fine defense if I do say so myself, all just ta keep me safe," He finished, his unrelenting form continuing to slowly meander its way over to her.

Recovering from the knockback, Akane lowly growled. '_This is gonna be trickier than I thought!'_

As all this happened, Shampoo was readying the Ranmas again as she saw her brown haired enemy take on another fighting form. "Weeping Rabbit's Final Shout!" Jack yelled, two index fingers stretched forward.

"Wait, hold on-" the male Ranma said, as Shampoo swiftly dodged the man's strike and continuously maneuvering around his following blows. "I just gotta' asked first. What the hell's up with the names for your attacks? They sound English, but look like shiatsu. What's the deal?"

"They're kinda both!" Yuri exclaimed, launching an attack at the purple haired girl's back, of which she narrowly parried.

"Miss!..." The uptight crew cut wearing bodyguard yelled, clearly displeased to see the girl fighting.

"Ah come on Iron-_chan_," she giggled out, notably having fun with her duel language abilities. "This lady's, like, taking you on with a pair of big hammers! Having it be a two on one fight evens things out!" the blonde girl exclaimed.

Seeing her chauffer's reluctant nod, he and she rushed forward again, this time simultaneously. "Two-Headed Cobra's Poisonous Bite!" they both shrieked, one strike hitting Shampoo's lower abdomen, while the other hit her lower back.

"Ah!" The Chinese girl screamed, doing her best to keep hold on the two Ranmas as she tried to stay standing as a fiery burning sensation sapped her of her immediate strength.

"Shampoo! Are you okay?" The female chúi asked, concern clearly in her voice.

"Yeah, say somethin'! Did these creeps hurt ya bad?" The black hammer asked, his voice containing the same amount of worry as his counterpart's.

Gritting her teeth, Shampoo tried her best to put up a smile and reassure them. "…Is okay Ranmas. Pain going away. They know how to use pressure point moves…just lucky they haven't hit with paralysis attacks yet…" she said, quietly whispering the last part, so as not to jinx herself over.

"Yep!" Yuri said with a grin. "For someone who can barely speak a word of Japanese you're pretty smart! Our school totally focuses on shiatsu attacks! It's what Daddy spent years mastering and now he teaches people! And as for the question that that cute little hammer asked earlier? Well, like I said, my Dad spent his life learning these moves, but when he brought them over to America, a lot of people had trouble with their names, so he changed them! He wanted to keep them karate-y though, so he gave them names like 'Crouching Wolf Enters Maze,' so it would attract customers!"

"Wait, so you took other martial artist's attacks and rebranded them so you could sell them to people?" the black chúi asked. "I don't know why, but that doesn't sit well with me…"

"Yeah, stealing moves and calling them your own?" The female Ranma said, anger palpitating in her voice. "That's the lowest of the low!"

Across the way, another battle was raging on, one where on Akane Tendo was fighting off what seemed like an army of hair, when she heard to Ranmas little burst of outrage. "But wait- isn't that what Anything Goes-"

But she was interrupted as a tendril smacked her in the gut. "Eyes back here mop-top," Robin stated, as the tentacle like hair changed a bit, creating several small split ends at the tips. "I've been going easy on ya know, just tryin' ta get ya ta tire yourself out. Haven't even poked any a ya pressure points, but I've been thinkin' I best start steppin' it up."

"A lot of people thought me ta be a bit mad when I decided I wanted ta learn how to use me ki to manipulate my hair. They asked me 'Robin, are ya daft man? What does yer hair have ta do with pressure points?' But ya know, here's the thing. We only got so many fingers and thumbs, but look at these lock's I got! It can be thin as a piece of thread and as thick as ya can grow it! I can hit ya with twenty different points if I wanted ta! That's the power a me flamin' red mane!" the Japanese speaking Irish person explained.

Akane was just simply _unsure_ of whether or not to take this guy seriously, but the one thing she did _know_, was that this guy said he had had been going easy on her! She wasn't being taken seriously! '_Damn it! The __**nerve **__of this idiot! I don't care __**what **__kind of freaky pervert power's he has! __**I won't lose!'**_ "Don't underestimate me!" she exclaimed, charging head first, batting away the various locks as she aimed to take her aggression out on the nonchalant man.

Back with Shampoo, the two on one battle raged on as purple haired girl tried her best to get a hit in, but vexingly seemed to miss at every turn. She had been struck several more times since her last hit and it seemed at least one of the strikes had caused her to become dizzy. That, coupled in with the seemingly extra weight that the Ranma-chuis had compared to her standard weapons, she was feeling quite disorientated. But being the trained warrior that she was, it didn't stop her when she saw that her male opponent let his guard down. '_An opening!__' _she mentally exclaimed, as she, with the full brunt force of the red hammer, smacked him across the gullet!

"Ooph!" Was his seemingly underwhelmed and mismatched statement. As he was thrust into the side off a nearby building, bursting through the wall and assuredly damaging various items inside, by sheer fate, or possibly dumb luck, as Jack tried his best to stop any additional damage caused by the indoor items, he forgot to maneuver himself in a way that would ensure a safe landing. Thus, when he finally hit ground, his body got hit in a most unfavorable place, his head. As darkness enclosed his vision, all he could think was, '_Oh god, did I just get done in by a beginner's mistake?'_

"Shampoo tired playing games!" the Amazon girl exclaimed, an aura of power about her words. "She want end fight now!"

"Mr. Iron!" Yuri yelled, ignoring her current enemy and rushing over towards him, hopping over some of the newly created rubble while doing so. Looking at his still form, she gasped in shock. "She- di-did you- are you- oh no!" she exclaimed, putting her hands on her face and looking around frantically until her eyes turned directly to Shampoo. "_You! _Look what you did!"

"Huh? What stupid blonde-lady talk about?" Shampoo asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Y-you _hurt _him! Real bad! He's not moving!" She snapped back accursedly.

"What? _So_?" the lavender haired warrior asked, a questioningly look on her face, and an annoyed tone in her voice. "Shampoo no hit him _that _hard. Besides, he seem like strong guy, he no die that easy."

"You _hurt him_! He was here to protect me! And you go and smash him through a wall!" Yuri furiously exclaimed. She stood there for a moment, seething, before forming into another offensive battle stance. "I won't let you get away with it!"

Nearby, the other major battle continued to rage onward. Only at this point, Akane had become considerably more worn for the ware, several scratches appearing across her face, as well as bits and pieces of her dress being torn. She had felt first hand the effects of her opponent's ability to hit multiple pressure points at one time and it was certainly leaving her ragged. '_He doesn't even look tired! It's like he's playing __**games**__ with me! What kind of nerve does this guy have?"_

After seeing his friend get smashed through a wall out of the corner of his eye, Robin grew mildly worried. "Oi, I don't mean'ta insult ya lass, but I think I'm gonna have ta be finishin' up here real quick. Seems my friend made a wee bit of a flub and I've gotta go help him out." '_Ah Jackie-boy, ya mean well, but little slip ups like this are killin' ya… That and you're about as interestin' as butter-less toast, but that's a conversation for another day.'_ With that, more of his familiar tendrils shot forth at her, striking her with multiple "Silent Viper's Swift Strikes," causing a red hot pain to cut through her like a knife.

"Ahh!" She cried out, trying her best to buckle her knees but ultimately falling downward, the pain simply too much.

Letting his hair fall down, Robin let out a sigh. '_She lasted a heck'ova lot longer than I thought_! _As much as I love confusin' people with my hair-style combat, keepin' me energy up like that ain't easy!' _"Aw, better luck next time girly. But now, if you'll excuse me…" He said, starting to walk off, heading to join the fray with the one he was supposed to be guarding.

Akane clenched her hand, as an angry growl escaped her. '_He's walking away__._ _L__ook at him, he thinks_ _you're weak, that you're nothing! And who knows, maybe he's right?I mean really, __**you**__ call yourself a martial artist? What have you ever done fighting wise that was worth while? You should really just head back to the kitchen! ...But wait, you're no good there are you? You're just a pathetic waste of space, you know that? You don't deserve to be the heir to the Tendo dojo!' _The growling grew louder as a fire seemed to ignite in her eyes as she stood up once more. "_**No!**__"_

Stopping in his tracks, Robin turned himself around to see the defiantly rage filled face; of what he _thought_ was his defeated opponent. "Oi, seems the lass is back on her feet again? Well, okay I suppose, one more should do ya in." he finished, his dreadlocks raising up and pointing towards her again. Not wanting to waste any more of his time, he shot them directly at her, aiming to completely incapacitate her.

"I _won't_ let you!" she bellowed, an aura of ki forming around her, striking the tentacles back.

"Hmm?" the Irishman questioned. Seeing his main form of assault deflected so, he became precautions, taking up a defensive stance.

"I! Won't!" She charged forth at the last word, feeling, for some strange reason that she had to, she shot her right hand forward, as, amazingly, a red energy formed in her palm. "_**Let you!**_" she finished, launching a crimson blast of ki from her hand.

"Oh boy…" Robin said moments after the launch. Thinking quickly, he manipulated his hair into a form of shield to protect him. As the blast hit, he thought that would be the end of things, but moments after it struck his makeshift hair-wall, it exploded! Bursting into red hot flames! Eyes widening, he could only watch as any sort of extra durability put into his hair shattered, as his red lock's were consumed by the flame. "I-I'm on fire!" He exclaimed, his calm and collected demeanor destroyed as he ran about like a chicken with his head cut off, trying to extinguish the raging heat that was now starting to burn his scalp.

As this happened, Akane could only stare in awe. Both at her enemy, who was currently bashing his head against a wall, hoping to snuff out the flame, but at her hand as well, the source of the energy shot. '_I- __**I **__did that? I- I used __**ki**__!'_ As she turned to see her opponent, currently on the ground, (hair definitely singed, but overall okay) she sighed, letting her legs give once more. Smiling, she happily fell into a tired unconsciousness after winning her fierce and strange battle.

"W-whoa! What the _heck _was that?" the male chúi asked, as he was being used to try and bludgeon his enraged enemy. "D-did Akane just use an energy attack?"

"No know Airen," The purple haired girl exclaimed as the girl she was fighting dodged another blow. "Shampoo _little_ busy right now!"

During the whole end of Akane's fight, the battle between Yuri and Shampoo had intensified, with the blonde haired girl purposely aiming to greatly injure her opponent, using moves that would lay an untrained person up for months. Luckily though, with the reduction of a whole fighter, Shampoo had been able to better focus her efforts and had not been struck since. "Stand still, damn it! I'm not gonna let you get away for hurting Mr. Iron like that!" Yuri exclaimed, before burning fire erupted in her eyes. "Summers's School Secret Technique: Raging Panther's Closed Fist!"

Shampoo, barely having enough time to comprehend the silly words that came out of the girl's mouth, was shot back as four protruding knuckles jammed their way into her lower spine, causing the wind to be knocked out of her as she was blasted forward from the effects of the attack.

"S-Shampoo!" the female Ranma exclaimed as the Chinese girl landed, creating a cloud of smoke around her. "C'mon! Say somethin'!"

The Chinese warrior wanted nothing more then to reassure her currently weaponized partner but all she could elicit was a dry heave. That did little to improve her situation. What made things worse though was that she seemingly could no longer move her body; it was like she was paralyzed.

"_Yeeeah,_ you're totally not gonna be able to move for a while," Yuri said, slowly sauntering over to the girl. "I'm tired of just screwing around. The thing is, I sorta _wanted_ a fight when this whole thing started. Daddy spent years training in this town and he's _super_ strong! So I thought I'd give you guy's a go and get some real practice in while I was on vacation. But you-" She said, pointing her finger at the unmoving Amazon. "Hurt my friend! What'd he do to you, huh?" The blonde girl stopped again, this time to put her hands on her hips. "That's totally uncool!"

"Listen, we're sorry we hurt the guy," The male hammer said, trying to buy his holder some extra time to recover. "But he's a bodyguard, he's supposed ta take hits! That's like, his job!"

Ignoring the particulars of what he said, Yuri walked on directly to Ranma. "And, really, _this_ has been bugging me," She said, once again, poking and prodding the chúi, until finally just deciding to pick him up for a closer inspection, first having to loosen the tight grip the other girl had on him. "What the heck are you, anyway?"

'_Airen__!' _Shampoo mentally screamed, as she was powerless to stop him from being taken out of her clutches.

Furthering her search of the tool, Yuri became increasingly more vexed. "Weird…I don't _see_ any holes for a voice box. In fact, it totally looks solid all the way through!" she said, knocking her fist on the hammer as if it were a door.

"Put me down ya idiot!" The indignant male Ranma exclaimed. "I ain't no toy or nothin'! So quit lookin' for the batteries!"

"Yeah! You tell her, other me!" The female chúi said, still in Shampoo's grasp. "Ya can't just toss us around like that!"

"Huh?" Yuri said, wide eyed, before staring the hammer in the face. "Y-you mean you're alive?" she asked, her voice rising in shock.

"That's what I keep tellin' ya!" He retorted back. "Are you stupid or somethin'?"

Then, a light bulb went off in Yuri's head, as it all hit her. "O-oh! It's just like in one of those animes! You're like the talking weapon companion who helps the hero fight monsters, aren'tcha? Aren'tcha? Wow! That's so totally cool!"

"Uhh… wh-what?" The male hammer intelligently answered back.

"Hey! Why don't you come with me? You totally don't need this chick! I'm _much _nicer and I don't hurt people unless they deserve it! So what do ya say huh? Huh?" Yuri asked, a smile beaming on her face. "Ooh, I can totally think up like, a thousand ways I can use you in my fighting moves!"

"Hey! Get you're hands off me! I ain't goin' anywhere! I'm a human!" Ranma exclaimed.

"Wha?... Well you don't _look _like a human. And c'mon! You ever been to America? Oh, I bet you'd like it! We just need to get my two friends back up and running then we can head out of this place. Jack was right, it _is_ too dangerous." Without giving him any choice in the matter, Yuri began to walk off, leaving the still stunned girl and Ranma's female counterpart alone. (She reasoned that one hammer was enough; she didn't want to get too greedy.)

"Hey! What the hell are ya doin'! Don't'cha take him!" The girl Ranma exclaimed, but then, watching as the other woman continued to walk off, turned her eyes to her frozen companion. "Shampoo! Ya gotta get up! We can't just let her take the guy version a me! Just think what could happen!"

Shampoo angrily gritted her teeth as her body started shaking. She had to just sit their, as her husband was _manhandled _by some crazy woman! And _now_ she wanted to take him away to America, still stuck as a chúi? '_I won't let her do that to you Ranma__. I__t's not right!__' _Steadily, her body started to move as the effects of the shiatsu started to wear off. "I won't let you take him!" she said, in perfect Japanese, no less.

"What? B-but, the effects should have lasted for another fifteen minutes or so!" Yuri said, shocked that the girl was standing. _'This chick must have some freaky stamina!'_

"I end this!" Shampoo exclaimed, an aura of ki emanating around her. Though if one were to pay attention, they would note that the vast majority of it was flowing downward, to the red chúi in her off hand. "You no take my Airen!"

With that, Shampoo charged, rushing forward at a quickened pace, her previous inability to move now seemingly vanished as she was running at a speed that would make a professional athlete blush green with envy. As this was all going on though, a strange occurrence was happening in the female chúi, as more and more of the purple haired girls' energy covered its outer form. '_What the hell's goin' on?... I feel __**different,**__ like, more different then I've been feeling since I've been transformed. __...T__his energy…it's not going in me, but around me? How does that work?'_ the female Ranma-chúi contemplated, as an unknowing power filled itself around her.

Yuri prepared herself, readying a defense that would knock her battered and bruised enemy out for at least a long while. She had no idea what an "Airen" was, but if nabbing the thing from her made her mad, then she reasoned that it was just cause for taking it. "Yeah, we'll see about that!"

As the final blows between the two were about to be struck, an unexpected change erupted, when, out of nowhere, the girl Ranma exclaimed the following; "Ranma-chúi Battle Mode MK 02: Bimbo Smasher!"

With that, a great explosion of light shattered around her, causing a great change to happen to her form. Rather then a simple red chúi with yin and yang signs aligned across it, she had been transformed into an almost comically cartoonish mallet! While retaining her base red motif, her shape was changed to that of a more standard hammer, with now only two yin and yang symbols on its form, both on alternating sides. What set it apart though was the almost _rubbery _like yellow substance replacing the bludgeoning portion of the weapon, making it look, oddly enough, more harmless.

"What the?..." Shampoo questioned. But not having enough time to wait for an answer, she charged forth, aiming to perform a downward strike on the offending blonde girl's head. She was easily able to dodge past the other girl's defenses, as she was essentially fighting a one-armed opponent, due to her carrying the other Ranma in her hand. As the blow hit, the unexpected happened! Rather then crack open her skull, leaving a bloody mess about, it merely depressed itself on to the girl's cranium, leaving a shock wave that burst the air around them outwards.

As Shampoo removed her weapon back, she couldn't help but stare as the girl in front of her wobbled back and forth in a daze, her eyes spinning comically. Lifting the modified hammer up to her face, the Chinese girl questioned it. "Ranma… What you do? Why you different?"

"I-I don't know! I just felt somethin' come over me and then I said those words… and, well…" the female chúi tried to explain. Shampoo though, just looked over the weapon's clearly different form, wondering just what the hell was going on. Before she could further investigate though, a great flash of light once again enveloped the weapon and once it passed, she noticed that the hammer had transformed back to its original state.

As all this was happening, a frazzled Yuri Summers tried her best to stay standing as a cartoonish lump formed on her head. Sadly though, after half a minute or so, her valiant efforts failed as she said the following, before passing out on the ground, "I, uh, thiiiink I'll take a nap now…"

With a thud, at last she fell to the ground, her mouth agape and swirls in her eyes, leaving Shampoo (and in essence, her companions) the victors. Blinking a few times at the scene before her, she asked the following semi-rhetorical question. "We won?,,,"

"Yeah… I think so." the female hammer replied.

As all this was happening, a certain male chúi stayed stuck in the hands of the unconscious blonde girl. For the past few minutes he had done nothing but curse, insult and generally did nothing but try to get the American girl to release him. Thankfully though, the fighting seemed to be over. "Hey you guys. I know my female form over there turnin' into a big toy mallet is intrerestin' and all, but can ya at least pick me up?"

"Aiyah!" Shampoo exclaimed, as she quickly tore the black tool from her enemy's hand, double checking to make sure there wasn't any damage done. "Airen okay? Shampoo sorry she let you get taken! She no let it happen again!" the purple haired girl exclaimed.

"It's fine- it's fine… Let's just do what we came here to do and find the orb!" he uttered back.

Nodding her head firmly, Shampoo went about the process of searching for the lost artifact. What proceeded was the Chinese Amazon going through every bag, opening every package, rummaging through every pocket and even taking off their shoes and socks, to be thorough. The only thing she didn't do was a fully body cavity search! ...She reasoned though that no one could properly fight with something like that hidden away in various hidden compartments. "I-I'm sorry Airen… But I think we got wrong peoples. It no look like they have orb we need…" Shampoo said in a downtrodden voice, even looking mildly embarrassed at the damage she caused around them.

"W-wait… So all this was for _nothing_?" The male hammer angrily questioned. "What the hell?"

"Are we really gonna have ta do this _every _time we come across someone powerful who we think might have it?" his female counterpart questioned.

"Geez, I hope not. That would _suck_…" he bantered back.

Shampoo let out a sigh; she realized getting her husband back to normal wasn't going to be as seemingly simple as she originally thought it would be. Looking around her though, she figured that they should probably start to head out. "Airens… we should leave now. We cause way lots of damage. It look like everyone leave before bad things start, but police-peoples probably show up soon!" she finished, automatically heading in the direction Akane was currently sleeping in.

"Yeah, let's just get goin'…" the female chúi stated, a mild amount of sadness in her voice, the reason for it obvious.

"Hey, Tomboy!" The male Ranma said, considerably louder than he really needed to at the range he was at. "Wake up! We gotta get movin'!"

Akane blearily open her eyes, feeling like she had just been run over by a truck. It wasn't helping that her idiot of a _fiancé_ (she wanted to roll her eyes at the thought, but currently that was too much multitasking for her) was yelling at her. Looking around, the gravity of the situation hit her. "D-did we win...?"

Shampoo firmly nodded but the female Ranma confirmed it vocally. "Yeah, we won...but they didn't have the damn orb!"

"Are you kidding me?" Akane asked back.

The male chúi did what could only be considered the weapon equivalent of a snort. "No. Listen, we've gotta head out. I think we're in a little too much of a rough shape to keep on searchin,' so lets just head back to the Cat Café and regroup for a while," he finished finitely.

"Okay Airen!" Shampoo replied back. "Is good plan."

Akane, a bit too dazed to argue, merely nodded back. '_I still have to figure out what the hell I just did back there…__a__nd if I can do it again__,__'_ she thought, a small smile forming on her lips.

As they all got up, preparing to head out, they were stopped dead in their tracks as a crew cut wearing bodyguard stood standing in their immediate vicinity, holding the forms of his two unconscious companions. "Well, you certainly caused quite an unneeded mess here, didn't you?"

Putting up the best defense they could muster, (which, admittedly right now, wasn't much) the two girl's prepped themselves for any sort of oncoming onslaught but before anything could come of up, the man spoke up again. "I'm not here to continue the fight. It's pointless and this was all a misunderstanding in the first place. It just got far too out of hand."

Dropping her guard a little, Akane became mildly sympathetic. "Umm, ah, yeah…we-we're sorry about that. We just got so caught up in things…"

He let off a "Hmph." "It doesn't matter now. The damage is done and it can't be helped at this point. Though think of this…are you really so obsessed with finding this object that you'd put lives at risk? Things could have gone far worse then they already went today." Without giving time to reply, Jack Iron, bodyguard to Yuri Summers, started walking away to places unknown.

"Well…he really kill mood…" Shampoo said, voice somewhere between sullen and sarcastic.

"Yeah, let's just get out of here," the male chúi said, as they started to make their way to the rendezvous point. "I hope you're Great-Grandmother is having more luck than us…"

* * *

**A/N: Aaaaaand…. Let's split it **_**here**_**, hey there folks, sorry for the long wait, but never fear, I've returned! This time with **_**two **_**chapters to add to the mix! In reality, it's just one really **_**long **_**installment that I just simply decided to cut into a more manageable size. **

**Oh boy, so much to talk about! Before any of you start ragging on me for it, yeah, I know, **_**original characters**_**, ugh, right? Let me explain though! I wanted to showcase that the two groups were actually, ya know, out there, hunting for the orb, instead of just instantly finding the real culprit, so I needed to add in a few people to cover that aspect.**

**Now, you're probably asking me a question along the lines of "But Franz, why didn't you just use a crossover character? It would have worked out some much better!" Yeah… the thing is; a lot of the shows that I know about, probably **_**wouldn't**_** mesh well with the Ranmaverse, and as such, would probably feel a bit out of place. I also really didn't want to require people to know any prior knowledge of other series' besides Ranma to read this, that always annoys me when a non-labeled crossover decides to just throw random stuff in to unexpected readers. **

**Anyhow, the whole idea behind Yuri, Jack, and Robin, was based off of what various anime interoperate Americans as. Blonde haired blue eyed bimbos, in the case of Yuri, a big muscle bound fighter, in Jack, and an odd red herring, in the character of Robin, (something that can definitely be defined as foreign, but is still unexpected.) I mean, Ranma isn't exactly a series to shy away from stereotyping countries, so I thought it came off okay. If any one else disagrees, don't worry, they **_**probably**__**aren't**_** going to be making any future appearances, so take comfort in that.**

**Well guys, that concludes chapter 5, but hold on to your asses, and put on your 3D glasses bitches, cause chapter 6 is comin' at ya!**

**11/05/10: Marvelous editing provided by the good Sir R.T. Stephens.**


	6. Bashings, bandoliers, and bad guys!

Disclaimer: I in no way own any of the rights to the works of Rumiko Takahashi, I am simply just writing this for my own enjoyment.

**A/N: Hohoho readers! If all goes as planned, you just got done reading one of these! So I've little to add right now, simply that this is the second part of the mega-chapter that I've written, thanks for taking the time to read!**

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"Bu-but Momma! Please!"

"Don't 'Momma' me! You're no daughter of mine!"

In Nerima's usually pleasant residential district, a long overdue conversation between child and parent was just coming to a head. Inside an above average sized abode sat two women, who, stylistically, couldn't look further apart. The older one, who appeared to be in her late thirties to early forties, sat elegantly in front of the dining room table wearing a gorgeous blue and purple Kimono that was only accentuated by her carefully applied makeup. Atop her head rested a set of brown hair that made her look quite distinct from her other Japanese counterparts. This person was Emi Kato, and in appearance, she was the definition of the perfect Japanese housewife.

Sitting across from her though was a young girl who could be described as anything but. There was just something extremely peculiar about her looks. She towered just over seven feet tall and had a firm, square jaw that held tight on her broad, manly shoulders, as well as a set if bulging muscles that seemed to be wanting to just burst out of her light blue plaid shirt. She wore overalls and brown hiking shoes that had, if you looked close enough, hints of mud on them. This young lady was Mrs. Kato's daughter, Haruna, and she could easily be mistaken for a male. That is, if it wasn't for the roughly smeared lipstick on her face as well as her hair being twisted into duel pigtails.

"Momma, please just listen!" Haruna pleaded, her hands grasped together as she looked at her mother, desperation in her eyes. "Poppa… h-he wanted someone strong to keep the family name going! I couldn't just sit here!"

"Your _Father_ would _not_ have wanted you to end up- up like this!" Mrs. Kato exclaimed back, a fury in her voice. "Just look at yourself! You're disgusting!"

"But you have to understand!... Wh-when Poppa died, he wanted someone strong to keep our school going! I had to get tough! There wasn't any other way!" The pigtailed one tried to reason.

"You could have found yourself a nice strong man- he could have done what you did for you! Instead- _instead_ you ruined yourself! You're some kind of… brutish _bruiser_! No sane man would ever love you now!" Emi continued to seethe.

"It was the training Momma!... I-I'm sorry I ran after he died… But I had to find people who would make me strong! This-" She motioned her hands over her mannish body. "Is cause of the training! It made me _real_ strong! But it also toughened me up… I'm not made of glass anymore!"

You see, to get full context, as well as to be able to understand what Haruna was referring to, you have to know her strange and peculiar story. After her father died, she, in grief, ran from her home and attempted to seek training from someone that would let her live up to the "Kato" family name. She wandered around for weeks, with little provisions, and soon found herself growing hungry and weak. At the end of her rope, she was just about to head home with her tail between her legs when she was saved by a kindly Canadian man who offered her shelter. It turned out that the man studied a form of martial arts lumber jacking and so moved by her story, he offered to train her.

For a time, he taught her the basics of his style: how to chop wood with both tools, _and _her body. Eventually, it came to be that he had to return to Canada, though, growing fond of her, the lumber jack offered to continue her training _if_ she went back with him. Haruna, making up her mind, used the very last of her provisions and bought herself a plane ticket. From there, not only did she receive training, but a job as a lumber jack apprentice! Through years of perseverance, she garnered great strength from the style; it turned out she was a prodigy and after a little training, she could cut down trees thrice as fast as her coworkers! It got to the point where uprooting redwoods with her bare hands was the norm!

Soon though, the harsh northern wilderness, as well as the hearty meals she ate, took its toll and her features hardened. Gone was a dainty flower of a woman. What took her place was a pillar of strength! Believing she could show her face once more, knowing that she had grown strong, she returned to her mother hoping to show that she had lived up to everything her father was. Sadly, the reaction she received was not what she was expecting.

"You left me here! _Alone_! So you could do… _this_ to yourself? And you're proud?" Mrs. Kato turned herself away from her child's face. "I wanted you to become a good wife- a mother! Not- not some _beast_!" Tears were running down her eyes now.

"Momma…" Haruna stood up, slowly making her way over to the older woman.

"No! Jus-just get out of my house! My daughter died years ago along with my husband! You're just some imposter!" Emi uttered out, her sadness turning back to anger.

"O- Ooh Momma! _Wahh_!" With that, Haruna rushed out of her family's house, into the unknown, a comical amount of tears running down her face.

* * *

Cologne, Genma, and Mousse were currently wandering; searching to see if the person they were looking for was in the area. They surveyed the land and side streets, covering every corner, trying to find the currently dimmed and elusive ki source.

"This is stupid!" Mousse complained. "We're not even knocking on doors or anything, we're just meandering! Are we trying to find that blasted orb, or are we going for a stroll? Can you answer me that you shriveled up prune?" he asked, his arms crossed as he gave the elder woman an indignant look.

Just as quickly as the words came out of his mouth though, he was shut up by the Amazonian woman's staff smacking him upside the head. "Quiet you fool! I'm in no mood for this!..." she paused briefly as she turned around. "Though, I _admit_ that trying to find this particular ki source is much more difficult than I thought it would be. Maneuvering around these houses is like walking through a maze…" she said, pausing for a moment to collect herself and try and gain a firmer grasp of her surroundings. "Regardless, we don't know who we are looking for so asking would be pointless. The ki is around here somewhere. I just- I just need to find it…" Cologne stated; focusing her mind on the task at hand. She was mostly out of her element here; she was used to searching deep forests and mountains, not cold, hard cityscapes.

Genma, meanwhile, was keeping his mouth shut; not trying to irritate the woman who could change his son back to normal. You see, while the sometimes Panda may mostly have reckless regard when it came to the wellbeing of his son, he had learned from his teachings under Happosai, and the art of self preservation was no exception. So for the time being he was playing the "yes-man" to the elderly Amazon. Although it was increasingly becoming more difficult as along their journey she had attempted to make various forms of small talk around him, most of it somehow relating back to his son. '_I know exactly what you are doing, you old bat! You can't worm your Granddaughter into Ranma through me! I'm made of tougher stuff than that!'_

Mousse was simply annoyed; here he was, wasting his day away with a bunch of old people, to help an enemy of his no less! He had originally wanted to head out with Shampoo, to keep an eye on the goings on between Ranma and her but he got distracted when mention of "the cage" was brought up. And so, sadly, he ended up here. '_Well, at least it's not too hot out__. W__hile I may joke that the old woman looks like rancid beef jerky, she certainly does __**smell**__ the part when she sweats! It's the little things in life that we can be thankful for, I suppose.'_

The three continued on for a while longer; lost in their own thoughts as Cologne unyieldingly followed the proverbial breadcrumbs around her. It was just when Mousse was complaining for roughly the third time about wondering if they were in the right place that the Amazon elder felt an almost electric like jolt run through her. She stropped dead in her tracks. "Quiet you fool! There's- there's something around us… It has to be-"

Before the Matriarch could finish her sentence though, she was interrupted by a deep, but saddened, whining of a person of indeterminate gender. "Waaahhh!" could be heard from a not too far off distance, and to the trained ear, it sounded like it was getting closer. As the trio readied their defenses for any oncoming attacks, a fierce stomping could be heard rushing right to their general vicinity!

Haruna ran, unsure of just where she was going; not really caring. After the melodrama that took place in her home, she simply couldn't think about the world around her right now. She knew that she was a complete disgrace, to not only her deceased father, but her mother as well. All she wanted was to be strong, so she could make her parents proud, but she had failed utterly. Everything in her life had come crashing down around her, and she was lost. She didn't care that she was making a scene, as people looked on out through their windows or doors. She didn't care that families were urging their children to go inside; all life was meaningless to her at this point.

That was, until she came across an odd group of three people, standing directly in the road in front of her, blocking her path; seemingly ready to fight. "Outta my waaaay!" Haruna yelled at them, charging forth like a bull.

Cologne, the wise elder that she was, knew that something was up. Thinking quickly, she jumped forth, landing herself on top of the head of the running girl. "Excuse me miss, I don't mean to pry, but is something the matter?"

Seeing the diminutive… _thing_ on top of her, Haruna, yelped, and stopped dead in her tracks. "Aahh!' she screamed; clawing her head as Cologne, with a neutral attitude, but a mildly concerned expression on her face, dodged repeatedly.

"There's no need to be alarmed," Cologne said. "I just want to ask you some questions, if you don't mind that is." Growing tired of the incessant grabbing, she jumped up off of her and landed on the ground; directly in front of Haruna, causing the manly girl to calm down a bit.

With a not so quiet sniffle, Haruna looked down at the tiny woman in front of her. "W-what do you want?..."

"Well deary, if you can relax a bit, I'd like to know what's the matter. You obviously seem quite distressed," Cologne said. '_This girl doesn't __**look**__ like some maniacal fiend hell bent on destruction__. I__f she does have the orb, then she probably got it by mistake… Though I don't really see Happy falling for someone like this. But who knows? His standards might have fallen even lower…'_

Mousse, deciding _he _should do his best to help in things, as well try to get this done as quickly as possible, spoke up, "*Ahem* Excuse me sir. I know you're obviously not feeling the best at the moment, but we were wondering if you might have something we're looking for?"

Just as she was about to sit down, and tell her woes to this seemingly nice lady, Haruna's thoughts were interrupted by the question this other young boy had asked. "Huh?... Sir?"

"Yes, please Mister, we're looking for a young girl who should be carrying around this tiny little orb thing, the old ghoul over there-" He pointed at Cologne. "Said that the damned object should be purple, or something, now obviously, you're far too much a _manly man _to be the lady we're looking for, but do you think you've seen her?" Mousse said, taking a moment to clean off his glasses, they had been getting more and more scratched up lately. '_If I can play off this guy's ego, maybe I can get him to blab. The old monkey must think he knows something, otherwise why would she stop him?'_

"M-manly _man_?... I look like a '_manly man_'?..." Haruna seethed; gritting her teeth at the accusation. She was a woman damn it! '_H-how dare he?'_ Standing tall and turning around to face the smaller man, Haruna only uttered the following: "_You_!"

"Mr. Part-time… you are a complete and utter, _idiot_!" Cologne exclaimed. She just about had this situation under control! Why did he have to ruin things? Thinking fast, she went over to the girl and tried her best to ease her anger, though it wasn't exactly helping her already enraged state.

Genma had stayed relatively on edge since this gigantic barbarian arrived on the scene, allowing the elderly woman with him to do most of the talking, as he was not particularly one to know how to handle emotions well. He tended to generally go for the whole "bottle them up" approach, when managing them. He especially had no business dealing with young girls, regardless if they were mannish in appearance, though his mouth fell agape when that strange Chinese boy started referring to the lady as a man. Even _Genma_ knew that wasn't the correct thing to say. '_I'm going to have to agree with the old lady on this one__. T__his boy is a few leaves short of a bamboo stick!'_

Mousse for his part was slightly confused. '_Why the hell was this guy angry? You would think being call__ed__ manly would be a compliment! Hmm… Though he does seem to be wearing makeup of a sort… Maybe he's a fledging cross-dresser? I suppose that would explain things quite a bit, but he can't be; those are clearly men's work clothes…'_ "Listen Sir, we can work this out!"

'_Sir…_' the words echoed through her mind, back and forth, back and forth, each time making her angrier than before. '_Maybe… maybe he's right? I'm a failure as a woman__. I__t's just like Momma said… But- but I am __**not**__ a failure as a warrior! I'll show them- __**I'll show these punks!**__ I'll send them all flying!'_ A red hot fury enveloping her very being, Haruna charged forth at the Chinese boy, her fists clenched and her muscles budging.

"Ack!" Mousse yelped as he dodged back from the angry woman's fisticuffs. "I'm warning you Mister! I'm a trained Amazon warrior! If you keep this up, I _will_ have to hurt you!" he exclaimed, giving her one last warning as he prepped his hidden away arsenal.

Pupils dilating, the lumber jack martial artist only became further infuriated after hearing his remark. She was also becoming extremely annoyed that his wiry frame kept on managing to avoid her rock hard punches. "Hold still!" she exclaimed through gritted teeth.

Cologne, in the interval, let off a sigh. '_Things would have been so much simpler had that feathered fool had only kept his beak shut. I should have just tied a chain around him and had him mop the store. At least then he'd be productive... It doesn't matter now though, I suppose,'_ With great reluctance, the Amazonian elder, using her centuries of training, hopped forth; her hand jutting forward, readying herself to issue a simple pressure point technique that would relax the gargantuan girl.

As her hand depressed on Haruna's arm though, instead of feeling the familiar sinking in of her finger on the skin, Cologne just received… _nothing_. It was as if she had just touched a rock hard wall. '_Odd…'_ she wondered as she dodged back and attempted to give off several other strikes, none of them seeming to work, let alone calm the girl down.

"You too, old lady?" the duel pigtail wielding warrior asked. While not too entirely surprised, she was a little hurt that the person who seemed to, for a moment, show at least a _little_ kindness to her, was now trying to attack her. Giving a quick sideswipe, (that Cologne merely dodged, though it did effectively get her out of the way for the moment) she turned her attention back to the main perpetrator.

"Well it's good to see you actually trying to help me there, old ghoul!" Mousse stated, before refocusing himself on the task at hand. "For a second, I thought you _wanted_ me to have to deal with this by myself." Since Cologne started attacking his opponent, it had given him enough time to gain some distance, allowing him to effectively use his main form of assault.

What followed was a practical _storm_ of weaponry and other assorted items being unleashed from the vortex that were Mousse's sleeves. Knives, swords, daggers, medieval torture tools and even a garden gnome were launched directly at the young girl. Haruna, letting off a growl, uttered the following, "You're toys won't hurt me!" Quick to make sure her words weren't simply just hot air, she used her ki to form a bright yellow energy at the base of her hand, and with trained precision, she diced the items into fine bits. "That one really comes in handy when cutting apart small branches!"

Stopping his blitz momentarily, noticing it wasn't exactly getting him anywhere, Mousse angrily yelled at his enemy, "Hey! Those aren't exactly easy to come by you know! I actually had to pay for some of them!" '_I must think… if I can't cut this guy down to size, th__e__n I've got to at least put him on ice for a while.' _Using one of his favorite secondary tactics, he launched two peculiarly long chains from the weapons locker that was his robe.

As this was happening, Cologne was continuing to test this woman's oddly resilient skin. '_I've never actually had this happen before__. H__er body is completely negating any sort of pressure point assault!'_

The lumber jack, so distracted by the old woman's annoying pokes, was caught entirely unawares when she felt the cold iron envelop her rugged frame and begin to pull on her. Standing firm, she turned around to see the persistent boy she was fighting, trying to apparently topple her over, and she grinned a bit at the sight. "I spent years chopping down and tossing around trees the size of skyscrapers! I think I know a thing or two about leverage!" With that, using her own body weight against him, Haruna began to spin in place; rapidly turning her form in a whirlwind like fashion.

Mousse's eyes widened as his feet slowly started to lose their way off the ground; his enemy gaining full control in their little game of tug of war. Spinning faster and faster, the delivery boy could only try with all his might to relinquish his own half of the chains that were tied around his arms. Sadly though, his hubris got the better of him, for whenever he tried to grasp the ends, he just kept on pulling out more useless weapons and tools! A broadsword, throwing needles and even a tire iron, all wormed their way out, but _he _was still trapped.

Finally having enough of this pointless game, Haruna, using her brute strength alone, burst out of the entrapping chains, ceasing the twirling once and for all. Unluckily enough for Mousse though, the force of going around and around so many times had taken its toll. When the sudden stop occurred, he was first to feel the effects, being launched forth skyward at comical speeds, and if one were to look closely enough, it would seem as if he left some form of jet trail in his path. As the ground below him drifted further and further away, one thought, and one thought only went through the duck-boy's mind. '_That's it! I'm buying a gun!'_

Smiling at the far off tiny dot that had been the arrogant man who had insulted her, Haruna quickly once again turned to anger. Twisting around, facing her other miniature enemy of the day, the wrinkled old woman who liked to poke and prod her. '_I just wanna get outta here__.__ I'm still to__o__ close to my- __**Momma's**__ home. And this little… __**thing**__ doesn't seem to be moving out of the way!' _

Not wasting anymore time than needed, the lumber jack showed her true colors, as, much like before, an energy burst out from her arm, only this time, much larger. It stretched all the way up to her elbow and started to take the shape of what appeared to be a serrated blade. But before anymore assumptions could be made, it started to spin rapidly! Haruna had formed a ki based chainsaw! A determined look in her eyes, she exclaimed the following with a deep, gruff laugh, "Hehe… Don't worry, I got this thing set to stun! It'll only pound your lights out!"

The energy blade whirled at a rapid pace as Haruna rushed forward, preparing to smack around the old woman, who, oddly enough, seemed to be looking more annoyed than anything else. It was when she was mere feet away though that she was intercepted by a fierce kick to the face from the bald man who was previously just standing on the sidelines!

"Well… I guess that's my cue," Genma said, punching the blade wielding woman back a few feet, away from Cologne's form.

An eyebrow rising, Cologne turned her head to look at the shiny headed man. "Ooh? You finally decided to stop just sitting around? And here I was thinking you'd chickened out of this whole mess."

"Of course not!" Genma conversationally said, exchanging more blows with the woman before him. "But did you hear what that boy was saying? He was an idiot! He needed to learn a lesson! And the master taught us that the only way to properly learn something is to deal with it first hand! Getting tossed about will be good for the kid!"

Getting into a battle-stance of her own, Cologne joined the foray, this time deciding to merely wear her down with some relatively crude, but effective fist based strikes. "Hmph, I used to believe that as well, but I think that boy's skull has grown a second layer. He's still the ignorant fool that he always was."

Haruna traded glances as her two enemies seemingly carried on a casual conversation while they fought against her. Not only that, but it was as if they didn't even see her as a possible threat! She was just some nuisance that needed to be dealt with rather than to be considered a true challenge. Her anger boiling over even further, she amped her ki-saw up from "stun" to "maim."

"Hey, lady, listen!" Genma demanded of the girl he was fighting. "While the kid may be an idiot, he's still right about _something_! We're looking for this orb. Just like he said, it's purple and it glows. Have you seen it?" Genma asked in a loud tone; deflecting her blows with ease, as any master martial artist would. Though he did momentarily have a close shave (literally) when he failed to notice the energy spike that came forth from her hand, when she upped her saw's damage, and as such, he received a brand new hole in his shirt that would most certainly need mending.

Cologne appeared to become somewhat more concerned and made herself a bit more serious. '_This woman is genuinely angry at us__. W__e've got to end this soon__.__ I mean we're fighting completely in the middle of the street__. I__f any civilians were to pass by…'_ She shook her head. She knew that any genuinely powerful or dangerous abilities were out of the question. She would not harm an innocent's life and without the use of pressure points, she knew that to take this woman down, Genma and her would have to defeat this woman the old fashioned way.

Using quick thinking, Haruna, rather than continue to thrust her blade around in hopes of striking either of them, took a different approach. Ramming her saw into the ground below her, she started slashing with great speed, causing tiny shards of asphalt and rock to splinter out around her, some narrowly missing her foes. "I don't have your damn ball!" she exclaimed.

It was at this point that Cologne yelled out, "Genma, you heard the girl! I think it's time to end this, don't you?"

Right then, a tiny sharp sliver shot its way past the part-time panda's head, almost giving his cranium a free acupuncture session. Adjusting his glasses in a motion to calm himself, Genma replied back, "Right, of course it is."

At that moment, both simultaneously charged forth, no longer holding back. They let off a bevy of blows that would utterly cripple a normal human. Luckily, the one on the receiving end was hearty enough to mostly handle it. Haruna found that she simply couldn't keep up with the swift strikes as any defense she put up with was simply blown away by the two-on-one onslaught. In the end she found herself weakened to the point of where she could no longer properly put up a fight. '_I-I… no! I can't- I can't be a failure here as well!... I just- please…' _Her mind echoed, trying to get her body to continue to fight on, but it was no use, as she fell to her knees, still conscious, but battered and bruised.

* * *

In the minutes after watching her daughter rush out of her house in tears, Emi Kato found herself feeling the harsh sting of guilt hitting her hard. At first she had been shocked to see the burly woman just showing up at her door out of the blue, ridiculously proclaiming that she was the lost child that she had wished to see for many years. But after a long conversation of convincing through telling stories that only her own daughter would know though, she was persuaded. But that soon caused the initial shock in her to change to disgust.

Her daughter, Haruna, had been one of the most beautiful girls she had ever seen when she was young. She had even won several pageants that she had enrolled her in. To see her become that… _thing_, angered her to the core. Not to mention that she decided it would be best to _never_ write to her, just to say that she was even alive. All this added together into a Molotov cocktail that left her completely emotionally confused and vulnerable.

Still, she knew it her heart's heart that that was her child and she had been both immature and ignorant to throw her out like a piece of trash. '_Besides, maybe I overreacted a bit on her looks… She'd certainly do well in the physical strength portion of any beauty contest she might enter!'_ It was with all this in mind that she ran after her, searching for any signs of where she had gone so she could possibly make amends for her actions and see how things worked out from there.

She didn't have to search for long as the loud footsteps and harsh cries could probably be heard halfway across the district. When she finally found the girl though, she was surprised to find her knee deep in a battle between a group of extremely peculiar people. Finding a nearby hiding spot, she watched as Haruna went one on one with a boy in white robes. She nearly gasped when she saw her easily rip to shreds his heavy arsenal and then throw him half way to Hawaii.

Deep down, she felt the stirrings of pride well up in her. To actually _see_ what her daughter could do; with all the strength she had… frankly she found it amazing. Her wonder though turned to tense fear as she saw two other people begin to seriously launch attacks at her. An old woman, who beforehand was merely annoying her through simple poking, and now a middle-aged bald man who had previously been standing on the sidelines were now going after her guns a-blazing. She watched in horror as their attacks did far more damage to Haruna than her previous foe and simply couldn't _stand _it when she saw them furiously beating on her defenseless form with their flurry of punches and kicks.

As she watched her daughter's form fall, and nearly go limp, she lost control of her body as it moved for her. Without any real thought for herself about getting injured, she ran forward to hopefully give aid. "Stop! Please! Just stop!" she yelled at the two who were fighting her child.

Cologne turned to see a brown haired woman running up to her and Genma, her face contorting in a mixture of anger and fear. '_Now __**this **__is interesting__. W__ho do we have here?... The girl's mother perhaps? It's the only reason I could think of to run out in the street like this during a brawl… I wonder though, I'd of expected her to be a bit more… burly. Still, I should be chastising myself for not seeing her earlier, though with so many weak energy signatures around, it's hard to keep up.'_

Genma cautiously lowered his guard a bit as the newly arrived elegant looking woman started to take appraisal of the saw wielding warrior. _'Who the hell's this lady?... She looks like some little housewife… harmless enough maybe, but if there is one thing that I learned from Nodoka, is you never underestimate these types.'_ It was with that thought process in mind that he kept his fists lightly clenched and held himself in an extremely loose stance.

Haruna blinked as she felt someone's hands running over some of the more battered and (literally) bruised parts of her. Currently though, she was finding it quite difficult to keep a coherent thought process going, let alone stay conscious. She forced herself to try and focus as much as possible, turning her head downward to see the unmistakable sight of Mrs. Kato looking at her, extremely worried, as well as seemingly trying to say something to her. But at the moment, she couldn't exactly properly make it out. _'M-Momma?... Ya came? No… No… You saw me lose… but- but you came! D-does that mean you still care? That you changed your mind?' _With all these thoughts and questions swirling through her head, Haruna found only the energy to utter the following, "Momma…"

Emi's eyes widened, having finally just elicited a response from her daughter after a minute or so of prodding her and checking the various battle wounds she had received. To her surprise, she didn't look particularly terrible. Bruised and a little bloody for certain, but it didn't look like she had any broken bones or any lethal damage done to her. "I-I'm here Haruna. Don't worry; you're going to be okay… I-I'm so sorry about the way I acted earlier. It was just- I was shocked and to see you like this… But after watching you, seeing you fight, I _know_, you're strong and capable. C-can you forgive me?"

Haruna felt her mouth fall agape as the words came out of the older woman's lips; tears started to well up in her eyes as everything she could ever hope for seemingly was happening. Using a new, untapped strength that she somehow found, she quickly wrapped her hands around her mother, pulling her in to a crushing hug. "Oh Momma! Of course!- Of course! I'm so happy!" she yelled out as a flurry of waterworks started comically running down her face.

Gritting her teeth a bit as her bones ached from the weight of the hug, Mrs. Kato nevertheless smiled, returning the gesture. "Haruna, I'm so sorry! But we can make things better! We have all the time in the world now!" she exclaimed, tears also starting to stream down her face.

As if part of some schmaltzy "feel good" family film, the world around the two seemed to darken with only a single spotlight focused in on the mother and daughter pair, as utterances of "Oh Haruna!" and "Oh Momma!" could be heard coming from the two women's mouths. While off to the side, Cologne and Genma stood, scratching their heads at the incident before them.

"Do you have any idea about what's going on here?" Genma perplexingly asked, running his right hand over his hairless cranium.

"…Not a clue, but I think we're intruding on something a bit personal," Cologne said, looking upward at the man before her. "I'd say it's time to take our leave."

Having actually reached a form of common ground, the Saotome patriarch and the Amazonian matriarch were just about to exit stage right out of this "tender moment," when they were halted by the lumberjack's voice calling out to them. "W-wait! Hold on!" Haruna yelled to the two, relinquishing her grasp on her mother and taking a step towards them.

"Yes?...," Cologne asked said warily. "I'm sorry, we don't mean to intrude. Besides, I do not believe you are the one that we are looking for anyway." She wasn't _exactly_ sure just how to react to the girl, while it _is _true that she wasn't the instigator, the Amazon elder just didn't feel particularly good about beating up someone much younger and less experienced than her.

Having calmed herself down quite a bit more, Haruna was finding that she felt a bit remorseful for her prior actions with the group. Straightening herself up a bit, she answered back, "I-I'm sorry. I'm not even entirely sure what you all were talking about, but you mentioned something about an orb..."

"The orb of transmutation," Genma gruffly said, crossing him arms together, mildly annoyed at just _contemplating _the problem they have on their hands. "I need it to fix my son… he has a bit of a problem."

"I uh, I'm sorry, I don't have it…," Haruna said nervously; half a frown on her face. "To be completely honest I don't have anything. All I brought with me was my passport and the clothes on my back…"

"It's true! She came to my house and didn't even have a suitcase!" Emi confirmed back, having spent the last few minutes checking to make sure the embrace she had just participated in hadn't dislocated any joints. "...Unless you left it at your hotel?"

The duel pigtailed girl simply shook her head, discounting the last statement her mother made. '_I don't even have a hotel!_' she thought, grimacing slightly.

"Well, I suppose it's to be expected," Cologne stated, letting off a sigh. "Truth be told, from the beginning I didn't really believe that you had it. If only Mr. Part-time hadn't butted in, things would have gone so much smoother…"

The muscle-bound girl blushed a bit at the remark, remembering the teenage boy that she had most assuredly flung to a far off place. Finding the (not so) strange need to scratch the back of her head, she uneasily replied, "Ehe… Yeah, sorry about that… I guess I got carried a bit away… Is your friend going to be alright?"

"Yes, yes, no harm no fowl. The idiot has pulled through tougher scrapes before, surprisingly. I'm sure he'll bounce right back, once he climbs himself out of the crater his body made," Cologne drolly said, hopping up on to her staff, balancing perfectly.

Genma turned to Cologne, having had just about enough of the Smalltalk going on. "This is all well and good! But where exactly are we heading to next? We're still empty handed here and none of us are getting any younger," he finished, wiping his brow a bit as the midday sun finally started to rear its head.

Unsure whether or not to take offense at the remark, the elderly Amazon let it slide. She had more important things to think about. "Yes… Well, it's getting on to be about noon. I say we should head back to the café and see if the others have made any progress. We'll at least leave a note confirming one more dead end."

The part time panda wasn't exactly too happy about having to stop, but just moments before he started to protest, a loud roar erupted from his belly. Blushing, he started to laugh. "Hehe, well, I suppose I could do with a bit of recharging. All this running around and fighting is hard work!" _'Just as long as you're fronting the bill…'_

A twinge of a smile forming on her face, Cologne nodded. "Well, anyway, I do believe its time for us to get going. Sorry if we caused you any trouble, Miss," she finished, just about to start up her pogo march away.

"Wait!" Haruna called out. "I uh, never got either of your names. I'm guessing you already got mine… It's Haruna, and this is my Mother, Emi-" she said, indicating towards her. "But what are yours?"

"I'm Cologne, and this is Genma. It's good to have met you." The elder stated with a final wave as the two remaining of the search party headed off, leaving a bit of a dust trail in their path. Absentmindedly though, she had other things on her mind. '_I'm glad we managed to get that all worked out;_ _she seems to be a niceenough girl. I __**already**__ like her for what she did when handling Mr. Part-time… Hmph, a lot of good he did us! Knowing him he's probably lounging about somewhere slacking off!'_

_

* * *

_

'_I think I really __**am**__ starting to hate my life…__**' **_Were the words Mousse pondered as he wandered about the, this time thankfully familiar, streets of Nerima after just minutes ago pulling himself out of the crater that his impact made. Luckily, no one else was hurt in the fall, but intelligently, he decided to flee the scene before anyone started to ask questions, or, what he really feared, inquire about compensation.

'_I __**didn't **__do anything to deserve being tossed like that! I mean I really think I didn't! That guy was just completely rabid!... I guess this is what I get for trying to help that wretched Saotome…I don't care __i__f my motives weren't pure! It's not like I got anything out of this anyway, just a tour around town with a couple of old people… well __**that**__ and probably minor cranial damage… I'm honestly starting to get sick of the way things are going on here__. M__ore importantly, the way everyone's been treating me.'_ Mousse sighed as he heard his stomach start to moderately grumble. It was lunch time and he was hungry. '_Things are just getting worse, and it's still quite a long trek back to the café…' _

As he continued to think about his current woes, Mousse turned his defective eyes to his surroundings and noticed that he was standing merely a few feet away from Ucchan's okonomiyaki diner. Weighing in on the pros and cons for a moment, he decided, '_Oh, why not? Despite the constant interference of that moldy old hunk of beef jerky, I still have a __**bit**__ of money lying around. Besides, I'd rather not deal with the issues of those two tenacious chúi right now.' _

Scrounging around up his sleeve for a moment, he confirmed that he _did _have at least a meal's worth of yen that he could spend. Walking through the entrance, he was greeted by a brown haired girl in some form of ninja outfit; polishing a bandoleer. _'Ukyo Kuonji, a fellow martial artist like myself… Not really__**too**__ familiar with her, I haven't gotten the chance to deal with her likes… well, with the exception for that one little race incident… Regardless, all I really know about her is she is after Saotome's affections __**as well**__… What a cad.'_

Ukyo turned her eyes up in surprise, happy to see a customer come in. It had been rather slow for the past few days, or, at least it seemed that way, since her Ranchan hadn't decided to stop by and Konatsu had to leave for a bit to take care of some 'minor' family business. (She really didn't want to get into it right now.) Her surprise though turned to questionable uncertainty when she noticed that it was that peculiar Chinese by who was always clinging to that hussy Shampoo. She didn't really know much about him and what little interaction they had wasn't exactly positive, she noted. _'Still, the guy looks like he's been through the ringer… No real reason to make his day any worse… And besides, if he wants to buy something, that's more business for me.'_

"Hey there honey, you don't look too good. What can I do for ya?" Ukyo asked, putting away her cleaning rag and ready for any order she might have to cook up.

"Ah well, I uh… don't really know much about these things… I-I guess a beef okonomiyaki please?..." The glasses wearing boy asked with uncertainty; all the while taking a nearby seat to rest his weary legs.

Noticing his trepidation, Ukyo tried to reassure his choice as she quickly gathered the needed supplies. "Mmm, that's a good pick there, one of my most popular. People really seem to really like it," she said, placing the batter on the stove in front of her. Noticing that he only muttered out a quick "Ah, good," Ukyo tried her best to stir up some form of conversation, not particularly liking awkward silences. "So, you're name's… Mousse, right? One of those Chinese Amazons?"

"Yeah, Amazonian born and raised. We've talked before, haven't we? Even tried to help each other out a few times…" Mousse answered; still not entirely sure how to react to the woman in front of him.

Adding some key ingredients to the mix of the food before her, Ukyo replied, "Yeah… we have… _Anyway_, moving on, what brings ya here?" she asked.

"Well, I guess to get something to eat. Let's just say I've been _busy_," Mousse darkly said; all the while fingering a few of the new holes that his robe was sporting.

Realizing that she was apparently touching on a sensitive subject, she tried to clear the air. "Hehe, I'm guessing… you can tell me later if you want." As she continued working on his order, she tried to think up another subject. "So ah, what's it like. You know, living as one of those Amazons?"

Mouse paused for a moment as a flood of memories jutted forth to the forefront of his mind. While the whole _living in seclusion_ and _limited technology_ didn't _really_ bother him all that much, he was not too big a fan of the way the other warriors in the village treated him because of his obsession with Shampoo. He was often the butt of many jokes that would sting just a little _too_ much for him to want to recount them in detail right now. Also, while the training he received there certainly made him strong, living in a female dominant society, where the majority of the combatants around you are of the opposite gender, really didn't help with his self esteem

Shaking his head out the reverie he just put himself through, he replied to the girl, "Oh, ah, pretty good, I suppose. Living off the land is tough but rewarding."

"Oh, that's kinda neat," the spatula wielding warrior said. Noticing that the meal still needed another minute or two to finish up though, Ukyo continued their little discussion. "Yeah, I used to hoof it a lot when I was younger, you know, selling these little guys-" she pointed to the food that was sizzling before her, "-to whoever would buy them. But I mostly operated near Osaka. Still, pretty much lived in a sleeping bag for a good ten years," she finished, taking the finished okonomiyaki off the heater and began prepping it up for its final dressings.

"That's… terrible. Even though we don't really have creature comforts that could be found here, I've never really been homeless like _that_. And for ten years? How did something like that happen?" Mousse asked, curious about the girl's situation. Though he did get distracted for a second when his nose got a whiff of his upcoming meal.

Pausing in her work for a moment, Ukyo got a bit of a far off look in her eyes but then swiftly snapped out of it as she carefully handed the Chinese boy his lunch. "Oh, don't worry about that! Let's just say that, well, things happen and we have to deal with them, okay honey? Now go on. Eat up before it gets cold!" she exclaimed, a seemingly happy smile filling her face.

Not finding any real reason to argue with the shop owner, Mousse turned his attention to the pizza-like object before him and tentatively took a bite. Chewing slowly for a moment, he stopped, his eyes widening, before, with great speed, he started shoveling the rest of meal down his gullet. "Thith ish goud!" he exclaimed, mouth half full of batter and beef. Slowing down a bit, he cleared his throat. "You know, I'm sort of a chef as well. What's the recipe for this? I'd love to make it myself."

She winked at him. "Hmph, sorry, but it's a family secret. Can't really go spreading stuff like that around, ya understand? But I'm glad you like it though. Ranchan certainly does seem to gobble them up fast enough..." Seeing him flinch at the time, she questioned him. "Something the matter?"

Shaking his head, he replied, "Oh, ah, no." Looking around he found a clock that told him it was only half past the hour. Figuring he deserved a bit of a longer break then this, as well some extra time to recover from the concussion he most certainly obtained, he pulled out what was left of his funds and placed them on the table. "I wouldn't mind seconds, if you would, please."

Quickly counting the bills, Ukyo smiled. "Sure thing, honey! One extra special second severing of Ucchan's beef okonomiyaki, coming right up!" she said, starting preparations for the second dish. "So, while you're hanging out for a bit, you mind telling my why you look like you got run over by a train? I'm a bit curious."

Shrugging, Mousse figured he might as well. At least someone was willing to lend an ear to his troubles. "Well, it all started…"

Some time later.

"WHAT?"

* * *

Inside the Cat café, two teens and two chúi were currently recovering from the tiring conflict that they had just come back from combating earlier. Akane in particular was not feeling too up to par after barely scraping out of that hairy situation she had to deal with. And as such, was merely sitting at one of the open tables with the two Ranmas while Shampoo prepared lunch.

"So, Akane, that was a pretty crazy move that ya did back there," The male Ranma commented. "Have you been puttin' in some extra trainin', or something?"

Looking down at the hammer before her, Akane wasn't entirely sure if she should take that as an insult but she was simply too tired to really start an argument right now. "No… nothing more than usual. I just got really angry and then I shot that blast… I don't even know what to call it," she absently stated, raising her hand up to face level, looking at it inquisitively.

"Well whatever it was, it sure was freaky!" The female chúi stated, side by side with her counterpart. "It was just like a shot of energy but then, kaboom! It turns into a big blast a fire. Ya really need ta come up with a name for it."

"Who're you ta talk?" the black hammer asked, incredulously. "What the heck was it that _you_ did back there? It was like ya turned into a toy a three year old would use! And '_bimbo smasher_'? That was the best name you could come up with?"

"Hey! I don't get it either!" The crimson chúi defended as she went over the preceding events from her perspective. "The words just sorta… you know, came outta my mouth. I didn't even know I said them, it was freaky. But whatever I turned into, it sure was weird… I was sure Shampoo was about ta smash that chick's head open! But instead, it just made her all dizzy. I don't even know _what_ to think about _that_."

Hearing her name being called out, Shampoo came into the room, carrying a tray of freshly cooked noodle for herself and the tired out girl before her. Having been listening in on the conversation the three had been having, she added in, "You no have to worry Ranma-chúis. Great-Grandmother explain everything once she get back and we get everything taken care of!"

As if on cue, just as Shampoo was handing the bowl to the blue haired girl in front of her, a ringing belly alerted the lots ears. Walking through the door, both Cologne and Genma entered the scene.

"Great-Grandmother, you're back!" Shampoo exclaimed, setting down her bowl adjacent to Akane's before running over to the elderly woman to greet her.

"Hello deary, I see you all stopped in as well. Perfect timing. Did your search turn up anything?" Cologne asked; a tinge of hopefulness in her voice.

"Sort of… We find crazy, _crazy_ peoples that we have to fight but it turns out they no have orb…" Shampoo said, a bit of sadness drifting into her voice near the end, as she tilted her head down.

"Yo Pops! You find anythin' out there?" The male Ranma asked, the standard cheeky tone he used when speaking to his father in full effect. "Or were ya just hittin' the buffet?"

"Quiet boy! I'm in no mood for your insults." Genma retorted. He then sighed out, "…But no, no, we didn't find the orb, just another dead-end."

"Well, I suppose the bright side here is that we've knocked off another two candidates," Cologne said, trying to raise the sprits of her comrades while at the same time keeping them on edge. "We're closing in, certainly. We should certainly get moving though as there's no telling whether the person we are looking for will still be in Nerima by tomorrow…"

As she was saying this, Shampoo handed her and Genma each a bowl of noodles that she had made, having momentarily walked back to the kitchen to gather them. "Eat up. Shampoo make extra incase any of yous show up!"

"We'll head out after we eat! I'm starving!" Genma declared, gratefully taking the offered meal from the younger girl's hands before taking a seat next to the Ranmas.

"Wait- hold on…" Akane interjected, having stayed quiet for the duration of the other returning group's entrance due to her exhaustion. "Didn't Mousse go along with you as well? Where did he head off to?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.

"…Let's just say he flew the coop a while after our hunt started," Cologne said, smoothly shrugging off the young Tendo's question. "Nothing to worry about."

"Stupid duckboy, Shampoo knew he was useless," The purple haired girl said, taking a seat and starting to munch on her lunch.

As Shampoo was openly pondering this, Genma was looking towards the forms of his son as he too starting eating, though, remarkably, at a relatively slower pace than his normal jet like speed. "So… boy, how are you putting up? You handling things okay?" Genma asked in as neutral a tone as possible, though the hidden tenderness in his words was unmistakable.

"Hehe, yeah, things ain't goin' _too _bad, heck, it could be a lot worse," the male Ranma began. "I mean, I've been thinking, and I could a just ended up bein' transformed in a gutter, or alley, or somethin'. I ain't sayin' I'm lucky or anythin', if I was I'd still be human, but taking everything into account, I'm doin' okay. I really thank ya guys fer doin' this for me though. If I didn't have you all out searching for that damn orb, I'd be up a creek!"

"Is nothing to thank for," Shampoo said, continuing to eat through her noodles. "Airen needs to get back to human again, so friends come help him out!"

"Ah geez… Still, thanks you guys!" The female chúi exclaimed, a clear amount of bashfulness in her voice. "But hold on, there's still some freaky stuff that's been goin' on like that thing that happened to me today… Not to mention that attack ya did, Kane'," the red Ranma stated, pointing her ki eyes over to the youngest Tendo to indicate towards her.

Blinking herself out the daze she was in after hearing her name being called, Akane finished chewing on a bite of her food and replied, "Oh, umm, maybe we should explain everything from the beginning…"

With that, the young teenagers recounted their events of the early to midmorning, ranging from their initial search of the shopping district to their brawl with the American looking girl. Specific detail was given to both the red chúi's transformation as well as Akane's fiery assault. The two older of the group listened attentively.

"Hmm, fascinating… I've heard a _bit_ about this before, but I've never seen it first hand…" Cologne mused. She then asked the red chúi, "So you're saying, Ranma, that your weapon form altered itself in the middle of battle?"

"Yeah, like I said, got turned into a big ole' toy mallet or somethin' but I still packed a heck of a punch, that's for sure!" The female Ranma said, voice becoming a bit more upbeat at the end.

"Well, I've heard stories about the transmitted being able to alter their appearance to better suit the style of battle they are dealing with, but it apparently didn't happen very often, as, like you know, most warriors were changed back and forth, practically on a whim. And if you didn't need an archer for a battle, there'd be no real reason to have someone turned into a bow on the off chance that they might change into something more useful later down the line. Still… This is very interesting…" Cologne said, trying her best to mask the concern in her voice. '_While fascinating in its own right, having Ranma's form be changed entirely once again must be hell on her ki reserves… This could be very bad.' _"But you said something about Shampoo's ki flowing over you, or something like that?"

"I don't really know… It was like I was being _covered_ in energy but it didn't go into me or nothin' and then I just changed. It was real weird," the red hammer did her best to explain.

"Regardless, I don't really know too much about it so use caution when trying to perform it. We simply don't know what could happen…." Cologne said, vaguely trying to dissuade the chúi from using it without sending the pair into a panic about life expectancy. "Now _you _though, Ms. Tendo, you said that you preformed a ki attack? Is that correct?" she asked, pointing her staff at the girl.

"Yes, a big burst of energy that exploded into a flame," Akane said, her voice becoming contemplative. "I have no idea what caused it…"

"Hmm, you said that you were angry at the time, did you not?" Cologne countered.

"Yeah… I was really mad at this guy. He wasn't taking me seriously! And I was losing… I felt trapped, when all of a sudden I shot that- that _thing_ at him and won," the blue haired girl answered back.

"That's… impressive, young Ms. Tendo. If that's true, I believe that you somehow tapped into an emotional ki based attack all on your own! Congratulations!" Cologne exclaimed.

"Emotional ki?..." The male chúi asked. "You mean like the Moko Takabisha?"

"Indeed, or the Shishi Hokodan. You see Akane, both of those attacks use feelings to guide their power; the former uses confidence, while the latter uses depression… I think _this_ attack of yours just so happens to use _anger_. Just be careful when you use it as they can be very volatile attacks," Cologne finished.

"Heh! Looks like ya finally found yourself an outlet for all that pent up rage ya got there, haven't ya, tomboy?" the female hammer cheekily asked.

"Quiet you!" Akane snapped, before once again stopping and looking at her hand. "Still, I actually used an attack like that…" She let her words drift off at the end, as a smile formed on her face.

"Yes, well, this is good and all, but we should probably get back out there; we're wasting time just talking," Genma said, folding his arms.

"Shampoo agree," The purple haired one said, placing her finished dish on the table, having been sitting back and watching the various conversations unfold in front of her. "Angry-Girl may have special new attack, but Airen still need help. We got to find orb."

A small amount of time elapsed as the group gathered their items together and placed the remaining food away. They were just about ready to head out for their early afternoon search when Cologne spoke up, "So, everyone knows where they are heading to, right?" She received various nods from the individuals in confirmation. "Good, we'll meet back here by dinner time if we can. Hopefully by then we'll have tracked the correct person down."

Right at that moment though, the restaurant's entry bell rang and a haggard looking figure made his way through the door.

Murmurings of "Ryoga?", "Pig-breath", and "Lost-boy" could be heard amongst the crowd as Akane ran over to give him aid.

"Ryoga! What happened? You look hurt!' she said in rapid succession, guiding him over to a nearby chair.

Not entirely sure why his dear Akane was at the Cat Café, Ryoga was nevertheless quite grateful to see her. Sitting down, and inhaling a deep breath, the bandanna wearing boy looked up at her, his face completely serious. "It's Kiima, she's back."

* * *

**A/N: Okay! And now we've come full circle! I finally revealed the big mystery person from my last update. Sorry, but you'll have to wait until the **_**next**_** chapter to get the **_**full **_**explanation, but hopefully this'll tide you over for now.**

**Again, a bunch of stuff to talk about… Yeah, I know, another set of original characters; same general reasoning as before, wanted to show that I wasn't just skimming plot wise. I actually sort of liked what I did here, I know it was a bit thin on plot, (wasn't the main focus) but I kind of created a small little self contained story within the overarching plot with the whole mother and daughter relationship, even though it was cheesy and cliché as all hell.**

**I actually had a bit of a hard time coming up with a motif for the character of "Haruna", but then, for one brief moment, the word "lumberjack" passed through my head, and I just sort of rolled with it, sorry if it sort of came off half cocked. I probably could have done a lot more with it, but at the same time, I'm literally over 20,000 words length wise that I'm pushing, so some stuff got cut. **

**Other things… Ukyo's been added to the picture! And it only took what? 40,000 words? God I'm great at managing characters! But yeah, expect her to show up in the next chapter.**

**Anyway, that's all I can really think to cover right now, hopefully ya liked this update. Now, if you excuse, I'm gonna go sit on my ass and do nothing!**

**12/18/10: Marvelous editing provided by R.T. Stephens.**


	7. Planning, postulations, and pigboys

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own the rights to the works of Rumiko Takahashi, I am simply writing this for my sheer enjoyment.

**A/N: Hey there guys, here's chapter seven coming down the turnpike! I hope you all like it!**

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* * *

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'_It's Kiima, she's back…'_

The words echoed through Shampoo's mind as countless varying emotions overwhelmed her every thought; freezing her in place and leaving herself to wander. '_Kiima? The feathered __**witch**__ who mind controlled me into attacking my friends? What could __**she**__ want? Did she just come back to torment me some more? Ai__**yah**__! Just __**thinking**__ of what I did when I was under her spell back then, it makes me sick to my stomach. What's worse was, deep down, some of the things she asked me to do were somewhat tempting… I was actually given an excuse to finally get rid of "pervert-girl" once and for all and have Ranma to myself! But that wouldn't of been right. If Airen and his friends hadn't snapped some sense into me, I don't think I could have lived with myself…'_

Breaking out of her reverie, Shampoo looked up to gage the rest of the ensemble's reaction to the revelation. The opinions were muddled, but for certain none were positive. Their faces were a mix of perplexity, confusion, fear, (most likely due to the bird-warrior's association with the phoenix emperor, Saffron.) and in the case of one Akane Tendo, a tad bit of mild annoyance.

"_Kiima_? That bird-brained freak who tried to drown me? What the heck does _she _want? I thought those guys were done with their crazy schemes? Oh- oh _man_, I _swear_, if they even try _anything_…" Akane ranted, letting her last words peter off there as she raised her fist upwards. To anyone even looking in her general direction they could see a red hot energy starting to form in the palm of her hand; growing by the second. Before anyone could act though, her angry bravado was shattered when she herself actually noticed the power emanating from her.

"Wha?- Wahh!" Akane intelligently yelped; patting down her hand; trying to tame the flame as if it were one of her oh so many dinner attempts gone wrong. She certainly did not want to accidentally blow a new hole in the Café's wall.

Ryoga felt like he should at least _try_ and react properly to the scene happening before him, maybe ask how exactly the blue haired girl was charging up an energy attack, but he was still too drained from his travels to put up a proper effort. Instead he moved on to answering other queries. "I'm fine, I'm just- just a little tired. I've been running around since last night." Deciding to leave the extra details of his adventure out, he continued on as the rest of the group took interest.

"Like I said, I was running around, basically just trying to find my way back to the district really, when all of a sudden I bumped into a group of people in weird cloaks," Before he could add on, he was interrupted by an echoing voice.

"Wai-wai-wait, hold on,"A certain black chúi interrupted, already having a knowing suspicion. "I don't like the sound a that. Ryoga, did ya get the feelin' that they weren't really from around here when ya first saw 'em?" Even if Happy hadn't met Kiima before, he'd definitely figure people dressed like that were not from around there. '_And if they had the orb…_'

Ryoga, turning his head to the voice, merely stared for a moment as his mind tried to contemplate exactly what he was seeing.

"What's up, P-chan?" the hammer asked.

"Ahh!" The bandanna wearing boy yelped, jumping back a bit. "Mousse- he- he wasn't actually kidding! You- you got turned into a friggin _hammer_!" Ryoga said, scratching the back of his head, trying to take it all in.

"Wait- what?" the crimson tool stated, her tone sounding annoyed. "When did Mou- oh, ah never mind. Listen, whatever, laugh it up if ya want, but we got a serious problem here ta deal with.", She paused for a moment and realized something. "Oh, yeah, I'm here too by the way," she said, clarifying that it wasn't solely Ranma's male form that got transformed.

"I- I uh, well… oh- okay I guess?..." Ryoga half stated, half asked, as he raised his two arms up in confusion. He was finding it hard to grasp the situation while still in his bewildered state.

Akane, always one to try and cheer up a friend, placed her hand on his shoulder and replied; "Don't worry Ryoga; we'll explain everything in a bit."

"As much fun as that sounds, could you get on with it?" Genma urged, crossing his arms as his eyes turned to Shampoo, said girl giving him a sheepish half-grin in return. "I want to know what that egg-lady is up to; I didn't exactly have a good amount of fun the last time we dealt with her."

Feeling slightly more grounded, as well as at ease, the lost boy nodded and continued his tale. "Well, anyway, I just sort of bumped into these people. There were three of them. It took me a second, but I got a look on one of them, and realized… it was Kiima!"

* * *

_Flashback_

"W-wait, is that- what are _you_ doing here?" Ryoga asked, confusion filling his voice for but a mere moment until his powerful warrior instincts kicked in and he formed a nigh impenetrable defensive stance.

Kiima grimaced at the inopportune arrival of the _one_ person she certainly _didn't _want to have to deal with today. '_Curses,_ _it should be just my luck to find myself at odds against the fierce __**Ryoga Hibiki **__of all people! I've got to get out of here quickly! But I must play this out with tact.' _Shaking her head, she asserted herself. "Never you mind! I've little time to deal with worthless trash such as yourself! Move out of my way!" She demanded; attempting to take several steps past bandana wearing boy.

"Now hold on!" the wandering Hibiki said, outstretching his tanned, muscle-bound arms. "You're obviously up to something! Otherwise you'd be back at Phoenix Mountain! And I won't let you succeed at any more of your crazy schemes! I simply will not _stand_ as the likes of your evil wander around the streets while the innocent go about their business, _Kiima_!" Ryoga heroically bellowed; his face growing determined, his hard, chiseled features piercing through the darkness of the night. "Tell me what you're up to! Why are you in Nerima?"

The group of three flinched back at his earth shattering tone, but stayed strong; they had a mission to complete. A sinister grin forming on her face, Saffron's guardian pulled something from beneath her robe. "If you _must _know I came to procure a certain… _item_, if you will." With an exuberant amount of flair, she thrust her left arm outward to reveal a glowing purple bauble… the orb of transmutation! "With this, my plans will be complete and nothing will hold us back! Muhahahaha!"

"Ka! Ka! Yessss… the mistress's needs the orb for her plans!" one of her henchmen yelled out, tossing aside his cloak to reveal the form of one Masara. His hunchbacked appearance and beaked nose made him look more like some deformed crow than a man.

"Ka-ka ka! There's nothing you can do to stops us!" the shorter, black winged Koruma said. He as well tossed aside his coverings, his claw-like hands and wild hair aided in making him look bestial.

Clenching his fist tightly, the ever honorable Hibiki-boy responded back, "I knew it! You're up to something evil! I should've put an end to you when I had the chance. But it doesn't matter now! I intend to stop your deeds with every fiber of my being this time! It is my duty as a man!"

Eyes sharpening, Kiima acrobatically jumped back. "By the end of this I'll make sure you're half the _man_ you are now! You'll be diced to bits! Now, attack him my pretties!" she yelled, pointing her index finger at Ryoga, targeting him.

"Ka! Ka!" Both Masara and Koruma screeched as they used two thermoses that were clipped to their sides to return them to their original half-bird forms.

Taking to the sky, the whites of their soulless eyes illuminated the night as out of nowhere, dozens of black as coal crows were summoned on to the scene. "Charge!" they both yelled as they swooped down on to their target.

Thinking quickly, Ryoga pulled out his battle umbrella to counter the foes. With precision accuracy that only a honed warrior could muster, he pushed aside the unending hoards of combatants, paying close attention to the two disgusting bird-monstrosities that lead the attack. With the extra weight of his weapon, as well as his Herculean like strength, he batted away at his two _sentient_ foes, knocking them into a nearby wall.

Looking down at the ground below him, he saw an array of unconscious, but entirely unharmed, birds! "Using your mind magic's to enslave these pure and innocent creatures to do your bidding? Despicable! I will put an end to this!"

With that, the bandana wearing boy lived up to his title as he pulled out a countless number of his black and yellow sharp edged cloths and threw them at the still dazed delinquents. "Time to pluck the hens!" he yelled.

Even though they were currently both feeling the impact of being crushed by a hard wall, Masara and Koruma still had the pure instincts to know when to dodge, and as such, they only received a _bevy_ of non-lethal cuts to their arms and legs, rather than be shredded to ribbons. "Kiyaaaaaah!" They both screeched as their wounds stung through and through, causing them to fall to their knees.

Growling in frustration, Kiima, already in her original form, took to the skies and pulled out her battle saber. "You fools! You _utter_ weaklings! I have to do everything myself!" She angrily chastised as she swooped down at the lost boy, hoping to take him out with a direct assault.

Ryoga, being the clever man he was, merely smirked as he once again took out a bandana, only this time, he wrapped it around her sword! "You think that will work on _me_?" he sardonically asked as he tightened his grip on the cloth, causing the blade to shatter.

Eyes filling with shock, and a little awe, Kiima gasped. "I-impossible!" she said, staggering back a bit.

"Oh, it's quite possible!" Ryoga countered back. Using the same bandanna, he wrapped it around the Jusendo warrior herself. "Here, let me try something that I've been working on to deal with my _weaker_ opponents!"

With that, using his fantastic speed, he spun the cloth around like a lasso several times, it moving like a tornado that Kiima found herself caught in. Using his masterful precision, he quickly released his grip on her, causing the woman to fly away straight into the same wall Koruma and Masara were felled by.

"Have you had enough?" the eternally lost boy asked, crossing his arms with a cool and confident grin on his face. Seeing as how they were seemingly down for the count, he decided to continue talking. "Now that we can be civil, how about you explain to me just what that little trinket of yours does?" he asked, tapping his foot impatiently.

Kiima seethed as her obviously superior enemy tried to interrogate her. '_I will not let this stand!... But, at the same time, I must get away safely or else everything will be ruined!' _ Glancing to her side, she noticed that her two pathetic cronies had finally licked their wounds and started to get up. '_I think now calls for a tactical retreat!'_

"I'll never tell it to the likes of you!" the older woman exclaimed, taking to the air once more. "Come, my pretties! The night awaits you!" At this, Koruma and Masara, finally coherent, bounded upwards and took flight, "Ka'ing" all the way.

"Wait! Come back here!" the heroic Hibiki yelled.

"Never fear you insolent fool!" the aid to Saffron declared as she and her two companions headed off into the night. "This won't be the last you hear from me! I will have my revenge! Muhahaha!"

"Blast! If only I could fly…" Ryoga said, lowering his head and clenching his fists. "Still, something strange is going on here, that's for certain! What was with that glowing object?..." he asked aloud to no one in particular. Snapping out of it, he turned upwards and gained a determined look in his eyes. "I've got to hurry and find the others. There is something clearly wrong going on around here and I've got to figure out what!"

With that, the wandering Hibiki-boy sped off into the night.

* * *

_The present_

"…And that's what happened." The bandana wearing boy said, crossing his arms and closing his eyes making his statement seem finite.

The room turned quiet at the moment. You could hear every little creek in the floorboard, every tiny shuffle of feet; the silence was simply deafening. That was until a particular black chúi decided to up and speak. "And here I was thinking that _Kuno_ was the crazy one."

"Lost boy tell too too bad story!" Shampoo chastised, having just put away her dish moments ago. She decided picked up the two hammers, feeling better having them within her grasp.

"I've got to admit… I've told some doozey's before…" Genma said, giving the boy an odd look.

"What?" Ryoga defended hotly. "What's the problem? That's what happened! At least, that's what I remember happening…" Ryoga trailed off; scratching his head.

"Okay, wait, if you kicked their butts so easily, then why do you look all beat up?" the female Ranma asked.

Blinking a few times, Ryoga responded, "Oh, these?-" he asked, indicating the small assortments of cuts on him as well as his torn clothing, before waving them off. "I ran through a bunch of rose bushes."

The entire room fell flat on their faces.

…With the exception of Akane, who practically had stars in her eyes. "Ooh Ryoga! That's so amazing what you did! You're like a big hero! You fought all of them and made them run!" the blue haired youngest Tendo said, clasping her hands together as she started doting over him.

"Hehe! It- it was nothing!" he replied back, scratching his head so hard that the male Ranma could have sworn that he saw blood draw.

As the following antics of insults, inquiries and general rabble rousing occurred, Cologne did as she had been doing since the lost boy arrived; stayed silent. There were many things that she as of now needed to brood over and contemplate. '_While the vast majority of what Mr. Hibiki said most certainly was a farce, I highly doubt he'd make up the part about Kiima's arrival__. H__e's an idiot, but I don't think that he'd go to that much trouble for attention…And he even said that she openly has the orb__;__ stated its color even! It's simply too much to just be a coincidence. Still, I don't like this__. S__omething is off, but I don't know enough about things to understand what...'_

Seeing as how the yelling and preverbal hair pulling was getting a bit more out of hand then she had expected, the Amazonian matriarch quickly ended it with two hard taps of her cane. "Quiet! We have more important matters at hand to deal with!" Noticing that she got their attention, she walked over to Ryoga and faced him directly. "Now, Mr. Hibiki. Was what you were saying about Kiima carrying an orb true?" she asked, staring him down.

Seeing how serious she was, the lost boy nodded. "Yes, every word of it was!" Noticing he was getting some odd stares from most of the group, he waved his hand off at them. "Yeah, she showed me this glowing purple orb-thing. Like I said, I tried to ask her what it was, but she wouldn't tell me. Why are you asking? Is it important?"

Turning away from him, she replied. "More than you know…" Not even needing to see the questioning look he gave her, she answered back, "That orb is what we need to get Ranma back to his human form. You, Ryoga, have apparently inadvertently narrowed down the suspect of who we are looking for."

"W-wait, so that chick has the thing that'll turn Saotome back to normal?" he asked, eyes widening.

"Indeed. This _is_ interesting… I was honestly not expecting someone like Saffron's right hand to be interested in such an object, let alone be in the very same area to find it. This leads to so many questions…" Cologne let her words die out as she shook her head.

"Still, what do we do now?" Akane asked, snapping out of her star struck state and becoming a bit more serious.

Cologne nodded her head, approving of the young Tendo's question. "Well, the first thing we should to try and figure out is just where the group headed off to. It's clear that because of their increased speed from flying that they are long gone from Nerima by now, and certainly out of range of any ki tracking abilities that either I or Shampoo might have." Turning once again to the direction of the Hibiki-boy, Cologne indicated towards him. "Did you happen to see which way they were going when they flew off?"

Placing his hand on his chin for a moment, the lost boy took his time, trying to think up the correct answer. While his sense of direction _was_ horrible, he couldn't allow it to impede him here. There was far too much at stake. While yes, he didn't particularly _like_ Ranma, being stuck as a hammer… thing was a fate even worse than being trapped as a pig. Besides, trying to enact _proper_ revenge upon him, in his current state, would just seem… petty.

Snapping his fingers, Ryoga spoke up, having a revelation. "North!" he said, slamming his fist into his open palm.

Smiling slightly, happy to have at least a _bit_ of a lead, Cologne still wanted to confirm things and prod a bit more. "Now, are you sure about that?"

Nodding his head proudly, he answered back to her. "Yep! They definitely went north. I mean, they flew up in the sky, right? And everyone knows that north is up, so that means they went north!" he stated, smiling as he placed his hands on his hips.

Once again, the entire room face faulted, including Akane.

From her place on the floor, the female chúi could only do her best to imitate grimacing as she asked the following to the general assembly. "So, I guess that put's us back at square one again?"

"Uh-uh, I think we're actually screwed worse…" Her male counterpart mumbled out as Shampoo did her best to get up and recover as quickly as possible from Ryoga's ludicrous exclamation. "They could be _anywhere _now, not just Nerima. Heck, they probably aren't even in Japan by now!"

"Now hold on boy!" Genma said, trying to not think about the miles of trekking he might have to put up with. "They couldn't have gotten that far, _yet_ anyway…"

"Yes… Mr. Saotome, you may in fact be quite correct on that regard," Cologne contemplated, starting to monotonously walk around in circle. "While it is true that, at least going off of the information we have, that Kiima and her group still dwell in Mount Phoenix, we can't rule out her being somewhere else."

"But Great-Grandmother… that mean things really _are _bad!" Shampoo said, staring across at the other woman, a lost look in her eyes, her up till now hard bravado shattering momentarily. "We no even know where to begin!"

Putting her hand on her chin, Cologne began to think aloud. "This really _is _starting to bea serious conundrum. Now, perhaps..."

Just at she was about to continue, the front door to the Cat Café burst open once again. This time it revealed the tired and exasperated form of Ukyo Kuonji, along with Mousse, who looked as if he had just been dragged along the ground, his right arm being held in a death grip by the Okonomiyaki chef. "*huff* *huff* …Ranchan?" Ukyo asked, looking around the room for her supposedly transmogrified fiancé. "Where are you? I came as fast as I could!"

"U-Ucchan? Hey, what's up?" The black chúi asked, doing his best to imitate a smile. "How's it goin'? What are you doin' here?"

Dropping Mousse like a dead weight, Ukyo marched on over to where she thought she heard the sound, giving the purple haired Amazon a nasty glare as she passed on by. "Mousse told me you got another curse or something, so I had to come and help! But Ranchan… I can't see where you are!"

As the two other martial artist's arrival on to the scene sunk in with the rest of the group, a further commotion was raised. Now with the complete triad of all of Ranma's legitimate fiancées, things were starting to get even more hectic. As these things went about, the wise elder continued to contemplate. '_Now is __**not**__ the time for something like this to come about__. T__hings are overtly complicated as is! These past few days have been a trial in repetition! One or more of us goes out and looks but only comes back __with__ worse news!' _

Cologne's thoughts were broken when she heard the Kuonji girl yelp out a "Wahh!" She wasn't entirely paying attention, having already seen this scene roughly happen several times at this point through different people, but it was obvious that she just saw the Ranmas in their new state. '_Now I'm going to have to explain everything to __**her**__ as well, This is all I need! Ah well__. A__t least I can kill two birds with once stone by going over it with the Hibiki boy too. Still, things are not looking good__. W__hile I'm not entirely well versed in the ethics or morals of the phoenix people__,__ I __**certainly**__ know that they are capable enough to use it to its full means. This situation may no longer only revolve solely around Ranma, there could be much more at stake.'_

Wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible, and noticing that the spatula wielding martial artist was now stuck in a bit of a rut of sputtering, Cologne quickly tapped her staff once more. "Miss Kuonji, could you please calm down and take a seat? We obviously have much to discuss."

Looking between both the elderly Amazon and the two chúi being held by Shampoo, Ukyo's hands and fingers gesticulated wildly, trying to make sense of things. "B-but… hammers!" she uttered.

"Yes, well… to be entirely honest, you are a bit late to the party. And without trying to sound rude, I'd like to get things moving here as we just found out some pressing information that may very well put us in dire straits," Cologne explained; her voice unable to hide the annoyance in it.

Growing a bit calmer, and not liking the older woman's tone, she replied back, "Now you hold on! The only reason I'm late is because no one told me about what was going on! I actually had to have Mousse up and tell me!" the okonomiyaki chef said, before quickly turning to the part-time duckboy (Who was now lying on the ground, taking a rest, having his body hauled across concrete and asphalt for several miles had tired him out) and started speaking to him. "Oh, and thanks for that sugar. If _you_ hadn't I'd probably still be in the dark about all this!"

Still twitching slightly, Mousse slowly raised right arm and gave her a thumbs up. "No… problem…" And then fell back into his near-comatose state.

"Yeah, sorry about that Ucchan," The red chúi said, sounding slightly sad. "We were kinda caught up in things. We were hopin' that this would be over real quickly! ...But it sorta hasn't been going too well…"

Her anger quickly leaving her, Ukyo bent over to get to the two Ranmas on eye level. "Ooh, don't you worry about it Ranchan! It isn't _your _fault. You couldn't do anything! I just wish the _others _would have said something," she finished, once again growing annoyed.

Pouting slightly, Shampoo pulled the two Ranmas away from the bandolier brandishing cook. "Spatula-girl too too full of herself! World no all revolve around her! Airen no need more people making things more difficult for him!" _'Damn it Mousse__! Y__ou just have to keep making my life __**worse**__, don't you? Now I'm going to have to put up with this sneaky chef as well!'_

Akane, who up till now had been having a rather awkward conversation with Ryoga, butted in. "Ha! You're one to talk! Remind me again, just who was the person who started that pointless fight earlier?"

"This no about Akane! Shampoo talk about Spatula-girl!" the purple haired Amazon declared, giving the rage-ki wielder an indignant look.

As all these egos clashed and collided, Genma's sense of self-preservation had kicked in and he found himself a nice cold cup of water to morph him into his panda form. ""Genma's not here right now, I'm just a fuzzy-wuzzy panda bear."" His sign upheld, as he mindlessly played with a striped ball he had found.

As fisticuffs were just about to be drawn between the three, Cologne, for the third time that day, slammed her staff downward, silencing the group, as well as leaving an unintentional indentation on in her floor. "This is not getting us anywhere! Now, like I said before, _sit down_! All of you!"

The group instantly stopped again, feeling the intimidating aura that the ancient Amazonian was exuding. Feeling that it was better to _not _offend the elderly woman, especially in her own home, the lot of them quickly took their seats. (With the exception of Genma and Mousse, who felt that the floor worked just as fine for their own individual reasons.)

Nodding her head, Cologne casually moved so that she was standing in front of all them. "Good. Now, Ryoga, Ms. Kuonji? Please pay close attention as this is all very important and I expect the rest of you to jump in when you can to fill in the blanks."

* * *

After roughly an hour of confusing details, odd happenings, and questionable information, (Ryoga's left eye started to twitch a bit by the time they got to the lumberjack) the entire group had been put up to speed on everything that had been going on.

Rubbing her temples slightly, Ukyo started first. "Okay… I think- I think I get it now, sorta… Still, what are we going to do now? I mean I never really met this Kiima person, but Ranchan _did_ tell me about his adventures with those bird people, and they sounded nasty! And if they're on the run like you said, how can we find them?" the okonomiyaki chef asked, a consternated look upon her face.

"We were just tryin' ta figger that out when ya came in, Ucchan," the black chúi stated, taking a slightly hopeful tone. "Unless someone's holdin' back, we still ain't got anything."

The rest of the teenagers shrugged, unable to come up with anything that could help.

"Well… I suppose we have several options to work with, really," Cologne mused, starting up another round of monotonous pacing. "I suppose we could try and follow their tracks, keep on moving and try and catch up with them… But I highly doubt that would be effective. They have a clear advantage over us in that regard, besides the fact that they actually _know _where they're going. They also have their ability to fly."

"Why don't you guys just head up to Mount Phoenix and camp out there?" Ryoga stated, feeling slightly awkward, unsure of _just_ what to add to the conversation. "I mean, that's where they live, right? At some point they gotta check in."

"What's that P-chan?" The red chúi asked, her teasing always able to ignite a fury in the lost boy's gut. "Ya actually tryin' ta help us out?"

Growling in a clearly annoyed way, Ryoga actually managed to stay cool and only let off a disgruntled "Hmph" before answering more fully. "Of course Ranma, I _always_ help those out that are weaker than me!" he finished with a fang-toothed grin.

"Hey! Take that back ya idiot! Just because I ain't a human right now doesn't mean I can't kick your butt!" Once again the female hammer loudly announced; her tone so shocking that Shampoo had to reaffirm her grip before she could drop her.

Rolling her eyes, Cologne decided to end this in a way she knew would actually get across to these people: force. With her cheetah like speed, Cologne bopped Ryoga and the red hammer on their heads. While she knew doing so to the latter was an exercise in futility, she did so anyway in a show of fairness. "Quiet! Again!" she declared before calming down. "Now, as you had just mentioned, Mr. Hibiki, I _have_ been thinking and going over that option. And to be honest, it is probably one of the more viable ones… But there are still risks that we have to consider when taking it."

"What'cha talkin' about Ol- Cologne?" The male Ranma declared, trying to make things sound more positive. "That place ain't _that_ dangerous. Last time we went the only people we _really _had to worry about were Saffron, Kiima, and the rest of her cronies! Everything else was a piece of cake!"

"Maybe so, but we can't underestimate them, especially not now… Besides, rushing in all willy-nilly like will likely get one or more of you killed."

Crossing his arms, Ryoga replied, "So why don't you take a few days to prepare? Set up a proper plan and all that? I mean, what's the rush? It's not like the mountain's going anywhere," he finished with a snort.

"Hey! How'd _you_ like to spend a few days trapped like this?" The female Ranma asked indignantly. "Cause let me tell ya, from what I've had ta deal with, it ain't fun!"

Rolling his eyes, the Hibiki boy replied, "Oh please, it's not like you haven't had to deal with stuff like this before. Quit whining!"

"Hey, don't insult Ranchan like that"

"Oh would you all quit it?"

""Just a panda bear…""

For the umpteenth time that day things had degraded into pointless bickering, but Cologne decided not to bother with it for the moment. She had more important things to stew on. '_He's making a good point, but there is still the whole issue of time on our hands__. W__e still have the rest of the month to turn Ranma back but if the journey to Mount Phoenix turns out to yield nothing, they could be in serious danger!... I could try and contact the village and see if they'd be willing to check it out, as it does pertain to one of our artifacts, but that would take just as long as simply traveling there… It's a calculated risk, but going there may be the best bet. But I won't put all my eggs in one basket; we'll have to make this plan multilayered.'_

"Everyone! Listen up!" the ancient Amazon declared, fully prepared to have to "bop" some sense into the entire lot of them. To her pleasant surprise, she found that they all seemingly quieted down on their own. Cologne mused that they themselves must have simply gotten tired as well of the same old charade. "Good… well, _moving on_. As it stands now, our options are limited. To be completely frank, we do not have the man, or the willpower to scour all of Japan for just three particular individuals."

As she said this, she saw several mouths waver (not surprisingly, all from the pigtailed martial artist's fiancées). Raising her hand quickly to silence them before they could counter, she continued on. "That is not to say we won't continue looking, to some extent at least; just that we should focus our strengths elsewhere." Starting to pace once more, she nodded her head. "I in fact think it _would_ be best to send a group to Mount Phoenix. If not just for the orb, but to clarify why they would even want it. If we're not careful, we may be looking at a small scale war."

"Whoa-whoa-whoa, hold on, war?" The black chúi asked; his voice mildly shocked. "What the heck are ya talkin' about? Don't ya think that's going a little overboard?"

Shampoo too was worried by this statement. Despite being one of the best young fighters in the tribe, and winner of many tournaments, the purple haired Amazon had never actually fought in a _war_ before… She was only seventeen! Considering that many of the other trained warriors could grow to similar ages as Cologne, she was still very much a child by their standards. '_Airen sure knows how to get himself mixed up into things__. O__ne minute we're just looking for a missing item, the next we're talking about openly attacking another village! That hasn't happened for at least a hundred years, not since we realized that most of the other warrior tribes were starting to die out..__.'_

"The phoenix people have been a growing concern for some time now. Their tampering with Jusenkyo could easily be viewed by some as a direct assault on Amazon territory since it lies just on our border. If simply going by what's been given, then they are openly admitting to stealing artifacts from our people and that will not sit well with either the leaders, or the citizens." The elder stopped her pacing to fix her gaze on the group. Out of all of them, Shampoo was the only one who genuinely seemed to understand the repercussions of that statement.

After hearing these remarks, Mousse found himself to be quite a bit more energized, having jumped to his feet when this new information hit. "Now hold on _old ghoul_. Are you really saying that there's going to be open conflict because of _these?_" He pointed at the two chúi in Shampoos hands. "I'd expect something a little better from your likes; it's not often of you to go off so half-cocked, especially when lives are at stake," he finished, crossing his arms.

Eyes sharpening at the remark, Cologne briefly contemplated as to whether or not the boy simply set himself up for this kind of abuse. Regardless, she smacked him on the head anyway. As he was nursing his new bruise, the wizened warrior replied, "Foolish boy! You think I'm not aware of this? It is obviously a matter that we must tread lightly on. That's why getting the rest of Nichieju involved may in fact be a _bad_ idea… So, like Mr. Hibiki suggested, I would think the smartest thing to do _would_ be to send several of you up there and scout things out. If it's all just a misunderstanding, then doing this could save us a ton of political head-butting and proverbial paperwork."

"But what if, when we get there, Kiima isn't around?" Akane asked, eyes attentively staring at the wrinkled woman. "Are we just supposed to sit on our thumbs?"

"No, that's why I was just about to suggest that several of you stay back here," Cologne suggested. "And, if willing, openly search for the trio and try and see if they are still in the country. Regardless, sending such a large group of warrior people to another tribe's capitol may bring about the wrong message, even if you are acquaintances with the leaders," she finished, preparing herself for the bomb that she just dropped.

""I volunteer to stay behind,"" Genma's sign stated, his other furry palm munching on some apples that just so happened to be lying around. '_I've already been to that place once__;__ I don't want to deal with it again!... Besides, the boy'll do fine! He's in perfectly capable hands.'_

"Gee, thanks Pop's, ya _sure_ know how to sacrifice one for the team, don'tcha?" the red chúi sarcastically asked, annoyed by her father's antics, but not entirely surprised by them.

"Shampoo no let Airen down!" the young female Chinese Amazon said, turning the two hammers in her hands to face her. "She say she get orb back no matter what and she mean it! We go and fight as hard as we can!", She nodded at them with enthusiastic determination.

"Well, I'm definitely coming!" Akane yelled; a fire in her eyes. "I'm not going to let this lady walk all over me this time! Mark my words, by the end of everything; _she'll_ be the one with egg on her face!"

"I… think it would be a bad idea for me to come along," Cologne stated, her voice growing quieter. "Having an Amazonian elder such as myself there might cause some unintentional backlash for the tribe. I being there could literally be a political powder keg. There's also the Café to think about as I don't want to lose our home here due to a silly thing like a late payment. That could make things unnecessarily more difficult for us."

Most of the rest of the group slowly gave off nods, accepting her statement as is. Though before any of her detractors decided to call her out for her "cowardliness", Ukyo decidedly thought it was time for her to join in as well. "That's fine… But I'm gonna go too! Ranchan needs me and I've been left out on things way too long! I want to be able to make it so I can help him!" she finished, gripping her hands into tight fists.

Cologne's eyes sharpened at this, once again cursing the okonomiyaki girl's recent arrival. '_If there's one __**good**__ thing to come out of this, it's that it gave Shampoo an opportunity to spend some time alone with Ranma__. W__hile granted, I fully expected Ms. Tendo to join in; having all three of the boy's potential wives along for the trip will muddle any chance Shampoo might get at making a foothold in a relationship. Besides… with Saffron still in his infant like state, any sort of physical conflict that may come about should be trivial at best. Still, I think I may be able to kill two birds with one stone with this, so to speak.'_

Thinking quickly, the elderly woman spoke up. "Now hold on Ms. Kuonji. I'm not entirely sure if your coming would be the best of ideas." Not giving her even a moment to rebuke, the elder continued. "Out of everyone here, you're the only one here who hasn't traversed the area in some fashion; that would give you a _distinct_ shortcoming when it comes down to it."

"Are you saying that I'll just slow everyone down?" the Kuonji girl snapped back.

"…Slow down? No- no, nothing like that… But if a fight breaks out, you'll certainly be at a disadvantage by not knowing the terrain that well!" Cologne exclaimed, pulling about half of the statement out of her ass. "I apologize if you think I'm trying to remove you from the search. I'm not… There are simply other things that will need to be attended to."

"Ooh? Like _what_?" Ukyo asked, crossing her arms, growing more annoyed by the second.

"I've said this before, but we _will_ need people to search around the area, comb over the nearby districts and such, to see if Kiima just so happens to be hiding about," the Amazonian matriarch stated.

"So you're just throwing me off to do secondary work, are you?" the bandolier brandishing girl angrily asked, taking a single step forward to the other woman.

Raising her hands up defensively, Cologne countered. "No- no! That's not it at all dear! You have to think of things _logically_. If, just for instance, the others arrive at Mount Phoenix, and Kiima isn't there, then where would we be? We need someone to keep up the hunt here, so we have all our bases covered." Pointing her finger upward, the ancient woman continued to give further incentive to her reasoning. "And it's not as if you'll be alone in this, no not at all! I plan to have _Mousse_ fully assist you with whatever he can!"

"What- but- _hold on_!" Mousse interjected. "You're instantly including _me_ in all this, old ghoul? I haven't even agreed to anything yet! The only reason I would even _consider_ continuing with this farce would be if I could be with my beautiful Shampoo on our return trip to China! Just why would I do something like that solely for _Saotome _of all people? I gain nothing out of this!" Mousse angrily ranted, having spent the last several minutes silently watching the interaction between the two other women go about.

"Thanks _buddy_, I always can count on you for sure! Right?" The male Ranma drolly stated. He wished he had hands right about now as he really felt the need to flip the guy the bird, or at least ruffle his feathers a bit in some other way.

Ignoring Ranma's accusation, Cologne answered back to Mousse, "You have to help him because I'm _ordering _you to. You do work for me, remember? So, for the time being, you'll be on the lookout for any people who appear to be from the phoenix tribe. Is that clear? Or else you'll be out on the streets!"

Mousse was _not_ having a good day. He'd been coerced, thrown about, dragged and yelled at for reasons he _simply_ did not understand why he deserved and it seemed as if things were in no way going to get better for him. The only reason he even worked at the Cat Café was so he could try and win the heart of his beloved Shampoo, but things had been getting _progressively_ worse for him as of late and it definitely didn't seem like the old woman wanted him there. But the thing was, he had nowhere else to go except back to China, which, until Shampoo went as well, was not an option at all. His lack of any real friends in the area as well forced him into a corner as he most likely _would_ be living off the land, so to speak, if he couldn't stay at the café. So, clenching his teeth, and holding back his growing anger, he muttered the following reply, "_Fine…"_

Cologne nodded her head. "Good, glad to see you agree. Now Ukyo-"

"I'm still going with Ranchan!" the teenage chef yelled, her emotions running wild. "I don't care _what_ reasons you give! He needs me!"

"…Ucchan, I know ya care and all, but it's alright," the female chúi soothed. "Ya don't have to worry, we got it all covered here! It's not really a big deal; we'll be there and back before ya know it! Besides, what about your okonomiyaki shop? You _seriously_ gonna let Konatsu take care of it while your gone?" she asked, a light amount of humor added on to the end of her last statement.

Ukyo flinched back, not only at being somewhat disregarded on her idea of joining in on the hunt, but at the last thought as well. '_He- she? It sounds like a she… eh, makes a good point__. L__ast time I let Konatsu run the place, I lost almost 7,000 yen in profit! And I was only away for an hour! Even though he's gone right now, he's supposed to be back any day now and who knows how long this trip will take?... Still, I wish she didn't have to be so nonchalant about things__.__ I was just trying to show I cared…'_

Snapping out of her reverie, Ukyo replied, "I- I guess if it's alright with you, Ranchan… I mean, I'm perfectly fine with going! But if you think I'll do better here… I'll just, hold the fort then, if that's what you want. But I'm not gonna quit! Just get me a picture of this _Kiima_ woman, and if she _is_ in Japan, I'll have her tracked down in under a day!" she finished, clenching her fist at the promise.

Cologne smiled, happy to see that part of her work was done for her, by Ranma no less! "Good, now that that's settled we can-"

"I'll go," Ryoga stated, having been quiet this entire time.

"Oh? Mr. Hibiki? You wish to travel with Shampoo and the others as well?" Cologne was not expecting this. '_Ryoga often seemed to be a rogue factor, but he certainly could be a strong assistant if anything dangerous were to come about__.__ I've trained the boy__;__ I know how tough he is.'_

"Lost-boy wants to help Airen too?" Shampoo asked, tilting her head to the side. The purple haired girl had stayed quiet throughout the recent goings on in the conversation, having far too many things on her mind. She was extremely glad when she heard "Spatula-girl" wouldn't be joining them, having one less obstacle to get in her way, but she wasn't so sure about the fang-toothed man before her. '_Hopefully he'll keep Akane busy, so Ranma and I can get some nice alone time!'_

"Help? Of course, I don't want Akane to have to take on the Phoenix people with just-" Ryoga pointed at the Ranmas and Shampoo "-those guys! Really though, you need one more to come with you. Counting both Ranmas you've only got four; five will make a nice round number," Ryoga finished, a confident smirk on his lips.

Akane smiled, looking at the Hibiki boy before her. "Oh that's so nice of you Ryoga! Gosh, you're _such_ a good friend!"

Instantly a dark aura of depression appeared around Ryoga, but rather than shoot off a shishi hokodan, he just opted to stew on himself as he slouched forward, a defeated look in his eyes.

"Geez, what's his problem?" the black hammer whispered. "I thought he had Akari?"

"The man just can't make up his mind, I guess," his female counterpart stated.

"Well then, it's settled!" Cologne finitely stated, happy to see everything come together. "These five will head up to Mount Phoenix and hopefully get some answers as to just what's been going on."

"Now- now hold on!" Ukyo angrily spoke up, gesturing her hands wildly between the two groups, her mouth slightly agape. "Just wait a second! Everyone here is completely okay with Ryoga going, but I'm just left out of the picture?"

Left eye twitching slightly, the elderly Amazon answered back, "Like I've said _before_, we are not 'leaving you out'; we are just positioning you in a spot that is not entirely to your preference! You'll be just as productive as the rest of us. In fact, why don't I go over what I plan on having you and Mousse do, right now." With that, Cologne ushered the two vehemently annoyed teenagers away from the room to give details on her plan, leaving the others alone for the moment.

"So, Ryoga, you're comin' too huh?" the black chúi semi-stated, pointing his energized eyes to the bandanna wearing boy in front of him. "Well, I- I guess I should, thank you, ya know, for helpin'?"

Having snapped himself out of his depressed state, Ryoga replied, "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just know that the second you turn back I'm going to kick your ass, alright?"

"Hey! Don't get cocky!" the female Ranma exclaimed. "Even as a hammer I could still bash your skull in!"

"Damn it Ranma! I'll take on both of you right now!" the eternally lost boy yelled back.

"We'll see about that! Shampoo, _throw_ me at im'!" the male hammer countered back, probably not thinking the whole statement through.

For the first time in a while, the purple haired Amazon had heard something that simply was just too ridiculous for her to just nod at. "Shampoo no think that too good of an idea Airen… We need to work together if we want things to go right!" She looked at him in all seriousness.

"Eh, guess yer right… truce until everthin' back to normal, okay pig-boy?" Ranma's female form asked, looking towards him.

"Fine by me, it's what I was planning anyway," Ryoga agreed, crossing his arms.

Akane merely rolled her eyes at the confrontation before her, knowing that nothing _truly_ could have come out of it. Still, she had a lot of other questions on her mind that she wanted to put out there. "Changing subjects… When exactly should we leave anyway? We still need time to plan, pack, and prepare. I still haven't told the school I'll be away! They're probably wondering where I am, _right now_… You too Ranma," she finished, pointing at the hammers.

"Eh, we can probably get Kasumi ta say that you're goin' on a special trip or something," the obsidian tool suggested. "And hey! I don't know what _you're_ pointing at, _tomboy_! You want me to show up in class _like this_?" he asked, gesturing his eyes at his non-human form. "…But ya make a good point. I don't wanna spend too long like this so we really need ta leave soon. But rushing can screw things up pretty bad as well, so we gotta be prepared for the worst if it happens!" he finished, a serious tone in his voice.

"…A couple of days would probably be best," Ryoga stated neutrally.

"Three would probably be good," Akane said, raising her hand up, and looking at it. "I'd like to spend a few days trying to figure out that attack I did so I can use it in action, if we need to…"

"About that...," Ryoga hesitantly said. "If you want, you know uh, maybe later I could-, just saying- I guess possibly, help you train with it maybe?... I mean, if it's like you said, it's pretty similar to the shi shi hokodan, I could probably get you to master it in no time! Hehe!" Ryoga finished, fidgeting a bit and blushing.

"Oh! That'd be wonderful Ryoga! I really want to get this thing down," the blue haired girl exclaimed in an upbeat fashion.

"Three days shouldn't be too bad, I guess… What do you think, Shampoo?" The girl-Ranma asked, trying not to instigate, even though Ryoga was clearly flirting with Akane.

Squinting her eyes slightly, and "hmming" for a moment, the young Chinese Amazon nodded her head. "Shampoo think that work out okay. She still want to practice using Ranma- chúi. I'm still worried that I mess up in fight!"

"Eh, you'll do fine Shampoo," Ranma's male form stated. "But ya might be right, we still don't know how this whole 'transforming' thing'll factor in during combat. Probably need to get some practice in for it."

"Well, it would seem that everyone had their things in order, then?" Cologne asked walking in, having just spent the last few minutes giving details on "Planned routes" and "areas of interest" to both Mousse and Ukyo. Frankly, she knew it was more or less just busy work, but she didn't skimp on things. She provided the information properly, like any Amazonian warrior would.

"Yes Great-Grandmother!" Shampoo stated. "We think it best if we hold on leaving for few more days."

"Yes, I heard. It shouldn't be too much of an issue. You'll need to be at full energy for the trip anyway," the elder replied. '_Thee days… isn't that bad I suppose. Though I'm starting to question as to whether I should keep the whole "loss of ki" subject discrete anymore... No, no, if I tell them now then they'll just want to rush ahead and that simply won't solve anything.'_

"So what exactly do we do as of right now?" Akane asked.

"Well, I just gave some important information to both Mousse and Ukyo. While I think the former may be a bit too drained to participate, I think the latter might go searching on her own in a bit, if nothing more than to blow off some stream. But, for the rest of you, it's just menial planning that needs to be taken care of," the elder answered back.

"I gotta go tell Nodoka that her son will be going away for a while…" Genma wrote, his unwilling tone shining through even in text format.

"I should tell Dad and the rest as well…," Akane answered back. "I'll make sure Kasumi packs some extra meals for us when we get going too."

"Well, if we're going to just be waiting, I guess I'll go set up camp somewhere nearby…" the bandana wearing boy said, putting a small amount of pity thrown in his statement.

"Oh don't be silly Ryoga! Since we're going to be traveling together soon, you can stay at the dojo with us! Besides, what about teaching me that move?" the blue haired girl asked back.

Internally, Ryoga was grinning.

Both Ranmas wanted to say something but they realized that having the "lost boy" stay at the dojo would prevent him from living up to his name. Because despite the differences, both Saotome's recognized that Ryoga could certainly be a strong ally when needed and having him on the trip would make things easier if a fight _did_ break out.

Cologne inwardly shuddered at the mention of Nodoka but was glad that the part-time panda was willing to take care of the issue himself. '_At least he was good for something... Still, that reminds of a matter I've forgotten to mention to someone._' "Okay then, we are set it seems." Looking over at the ever reliable nearby clock that set high on the wall, she judged that it was just around 4:00 P.M. "It's starting to get pretty late in the afternoon. If we are just going to go directly to the source, then there's no real point in running about any more right now. Akane? I'm sure your big sister has already started plans for dinner. I don't mean to be rude… but we have things ourselves that we need to work on."

Blinking a few times, Akane herself checked the time and widened her eyes a bit. "Oh- oh no! You're right! I haven't contacted anyone since early this morning… I wonder if they're worried?... I should probably go check and see how they are."

""I'm always up for free food."" Genma signed, though he did plan to be a bit cautious. That damnable Nabiki might be around and he sure didn't want to have to put up with her right now!

At that moment, Ukyo came walking into the room carrying in her hands several maps and various other scraps of paper, her hair looking a bit frazzled. "Okay! You already checked some of the obvious places but now that we know who we're looking for, I think I'm going to search out some of the close by towers and stuff. I mean their bird-people, right? It's perfect for them!" she finished, an exasperated but full smile on her face.

Shampoo gave the girl an odd look, but shrugged. '_If it gets her out of my hair for the meanwhile…__'_ "Spauta-girl just no hurt herself. She no want to only have to rely on Mousse if things go wrong," the purpled haired girl stated. Though thankfully for the annoyed Chinese boy, he was too out of range to hear the remark as he himself was casually mulling over some of the papers he was given in the other room.

"Of course I will be! I'm not some useless idiot. I can fend for myself," the spatula wielding warrior countered back.

"'Course ya can Ucchan!" the black hammer exclaimed enthusiastically. "But are ya sure ya want to go out on your own like this right now? Not that I don't appreciate though!"

"You guys have been searching for two whole days now! I just want to be able to at least try and do something myself! Besides, what's the worst that could happen?..." Ukyo casually asked.

The group's conversations continued on for a few more minutes with everyone confirming a few things, saying their general goodbyes and just having slightly more light small talk before it was time for the lot of them to (In some cases, reluctantly) take their leave for the night. Akane, Ryoga and Genma headed off back to the Tendo abode to relay the day's prior events to its residents, as well as to get something to eat, while Ukyo went off to do some "Kiima hunting" on her own, though both Ranmas felt slightly worried at her leaving in her angry and disorientated state.

It was after they left though, that things finally started to settled down.

Shampoo sighed, having tired herself out from the day's events, though she was a quite happy that she got to spend some extra alone time with Ranma. Taking a nearby seat, the purple haired Amazon placed the two chúi down in front of her and stretched a bit, easing her sore muscles. "It been a hard day, huh, Ranmas?

"Yeah, ya can say that again!" the red chúi second. "Still, at least we know what we're doing now… I just hope it works out alright! I _really_ don't want to spend the rest of my life as a hammer... Or a girl!" she stated, her voice rising up at the tail end of her sentence.

"We will Ranmas! Don't you worry!... I just wondering why it was Kiima who took the orb. Shampoo still no like what she did when she was under her spell…" the young Chinese Amazon stated, shuddering a bit.

"Hey! Don'tcha worry about her!" the male Ranma answered back to her, before quickly speaking up again. "We'll kick their butts, and then everything'll be back to normal, okay? There's no point in stewin' on things like that. We still got plenty a of the day left, whatta you wanna do with it?"

Placing her head in her left hand, Shampoo pondered the question. '_This is __**such**__ a great chance__.__ I can finally have some free time with Airen! Though to be honest, I'm __**really**__ tired. I wouldn't mind just sitting back and relaxing for a bit… But I can't pass this up! I may not get another chance!'_ "Hmm, if you want to, Shampoo would like it if she could go out and try and train with Ranma- chúi, see if she could get you to transform again!"

"Hey, yeah!" the female Ranma said optimistically. "Maybe if we're lucky I'll be able ta turn back into human! Wouldn't that be a kicker?"

As much as she was enjoying seeing her Great-Granddaughter interact more fully with Ranma, Cologne reluctantly needed to interject. "Ah, Shampoo. There is something I was wondering if I could ask you about…"

Tearing her head away from the Ranmas, the lavender haired girl answered back, "What is it, Great-Grandmother?"

"Well, what I was wondering was… When exactly were you going to tell me you partially destroyed Mrs. Saotome's house?" Cologne asked, giving her the eye.

Shampoo merely gulped.

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**A/N:****Wow geez, I can go on about nothing forever, can't I? Sorry about the lack of things happening in this chapter folks, once again this was more a set-up than anything else. Still, I tried to add a bit of "humor" in (whether it was any good is debatable.) to make up for it. What's funny is I'm afraid that certain parts might actually feel rushed in places. Eh, I don't know, oh well. **

**The next installment though should be pretty nice, as I can really get some good character development in, and finally start to move Shampoo and Ranma's relationship a bit further a bit more, so that should be fun.**

**I honestly don't think I have much to talk about right now, unless I want to get into spoilers. Though I will say I really gotta lay back on using Cologne, I think I find it **_**far**_** to easy to write her as the "voice of reason" character, and I think it's pretty cheap of me to do as a writer, at least over and over again. So expect for her to make a few less appearances from now on.**

**Also, I tried to make the reasoning for going to Mount Phoenix as sensible as possible, but I'm sure there are probably a thousand logical issues that could be pointed out that are just staring me in the face, so if something doesn't add up, sorry, my bad.**

**Other than that though, if you have any comments or criticisms, feel free to tell me, I always enjoy trying to find new ways to improve. **


	8. Rest, relaxation, and ruminations!

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own the rights to the works of Rumiko Takahashi, I am simply writing this for my sheer enjoyment.

**A/N: Hey there folks! It's time for another chapter of this little story of mine! **

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The following day, at an empty and unused rock quarry, Shampoo and her intrepid chúis were practicing and performing several weapon based katas, trying to test out their strength and abilities in a relatively safe and secured environment.

As the Chinese Amazon carried out her elegant dance of waves and strikes, she tried her best to get several things stirring in her mind out in the open as well as start up a conversation with her Airen. "Shampoo sorry we no get to do this yesterday Ranmas. Great-Grandmother take too too long time asking questions about house," she stated as she swiftly and precisely struck the air out in front of her before slamming the black hammer down on the ground. The impact caused the earth to crack beneath them, shooting off a wave of ki that shattered a boulder that stood in their path.

"Eh, don't worry about it too much," the black chúi consoled. "Heck, _I'm_ sorry ya had ta get a grillin' from your Grandma' like that. At least she didn't really punish you or anything. What's kinda weird though, is that I sorta got the feeling that she didn't like my Mom too much with the way she talked about her. Guess they didn't really hit it off- Oh! Move your foot in a bit!" The black chúi exclaimed, thinking over prior events as well as trying to give some nominal training advice.

Widening her eyes a tad, Shampoo did so and continued her sequence of moves, surprisingly at a slightly faster pace than before. "Oh! So simple! Thank you Airen!" she happily exclaimed with a smile. "…And should also thank yous again for standing up for me in front of Great-Grandmother. You no need to in first place! It your house! It Shampoo's fault for breaking it…" she added, her tone becoming a bit more solemn at the end.

"Yeah, it's like ya said before, we weigh a bit more then your usual weapons. So ya have to re-adjust your balance- And hey! Quit talkin' like that! It's not a big deal. Didn't even have any real memories of the place anyway! Left it when I was just a kid!" he finished in a "matter of fact" tone. The obsidian hammer though _was_ being completely sincere when he said that damaging the house wasn't entirely a real issue. '_Don't see why I had ta move back there anyway! Tendo' place is nice enough… Except fer' its infestation of uncute tomboy's. What's up with her lately anyhow? That new move she got is pretty crazy! I'd hate ta be on the receiving end of that when she gets mad! I don't think my bones could take too much a it for long!... Eh, I guess I'll worry about that __**later**__.__ I got plenty a other stuff on my mind to deal with right now.'_

"Yeah Shampoo, you're worryin' over nothin', so quit sweatin' it!" the crimson chúi exclaimed, moments before it was smashed headfirst into another giant rock, shattering the stone to pieces. "Still, I'm not too sure about what your Granma came up with fer keepin' us entertained while you guy's sleep. How're we supposed ta learn Chinese from watchin' a bunch a dumb, prerecorded _soap opera's_? I can't even understand any a the words at all, they were movin' too fast! And it only has subtitles ta go along with it!" Ranma's female form complained in an annoyed tone.

Hopping back a bit to perform another set of moves, Shampoo replied, "Great-Grandmother say Ranmas work best when they jump right into things. She also say you can get to 'learn about too good television as well', or something. She say it kill two birds with one stone," the girl finished, her paraphrasing just _slightly_ off.

"Good television?" The red hammer replied with a "Hmph." "That stuff was stupid! The story didn't make a lick a sense! I mean if that one guy was _really _the baby's father, then what did the parrot have to do with anything? I wouldn't even get it if it was in Japanese! Hey- swing a bit lower, okay?"

Nodding her head, Shampoo took her "mentor's" advice once again, finding that her strikes were exuding a bit more force than thus previously. "Thanks again, Airen! You are too too good teacher!" she exclaimed happily. "Shampoo also make sure Great-Grandmother find something else for Ranma to do during night. Yous need one anyway. You can no bring _TV_ on trip!" she proclaimed, her tone a bit more lighthearted, before stopping her movements after finishing her last set of attacks.

"Thanks, I'd hate ta just sit around and do nothin' the whole time we're on the road 'cause it'd drive me bonkers!" the black hammer replied. "But why'd ya stop goin' at it? You were doin' good!"

Shaking her head, and taking a few breaths to relax, the young Amazon replied, "Shampoo want to try and make Ranma-chúi transform again," she stated, relaxing her shoulders a bit and taking another breath. "Hitting things is good for straightforward fight, but we need to know how transformation stuff work or it might get us in trouble in the future!"

"Ah, good point I guess, but how do ya wanna work this?" the female hammer asked, as she was the one to modify her form previously.

"Shampoo want to see if she can somehow get girl-Ranma to turn into toy-thingy again. If that work, we see if we can get male-Airen to change too!" she excitedly yelped, her voice filling with determination, before becoming a bit more serious. "Now, how we do this last time?"

"…Well, when we did it before, it was mostly by accident," Ranma's female counterpart answered back. "I know ya were pretty pissed at that blonde lady though, and I felt ya start charging your ki up when you were getting ready ta hit her. It all just sorta flowed over me. I'm guessing that started things up a bit, but I'm not sure about the rest a it…"

Furrowing her brow a little and closing her eyes, Shampoo tried to concentrate. While she _was_ slightly tired after the several hours of training she had just finished, the lavender haired girl still had plenty of energy left to continue on. Focusing more, she started to direct her ki downward into her offhand, encompassing the red chúi's form. "You feel any different, girl-Airen?"

"Eh… kinda? I guess?... I think you're on the right track, just missin' somethin'," she answered back.

Nodding her head once, Shampoo focused harder, pouring more of her energy into the hammer, trying to make the change happen. "Anything now?" she asked, hopefully.

"Nope… still nothin'… Well, I'm feelin' a bit tingly, but that's probably cause of you putting your ki over me, and I don't think that's really helping things too much," the red weapon replied.

Growing a bit annoyed, Shampoo ceased her increasing flow of energy and tried to think her way through things. '_I made it work before… but how exactly? I knew I was mad at the bimbo-lady because she wanted to take Airen away__. I__s it anger that causes it? No, I-I don't __**think**__ so__. W__hile I __**was**__ mad at her, to be honest, I was more afraid of losing Ranma. I couldn't let that happen!'_ Reaffirming her stance, and stretching her arm a bit further outward, she continued her ponderings. _'__Let's see,__I charged after that stupid girl like my life depended on it, and I just kept on thinking of how I wanted to completely pound her light's out, when-'_

As she was thinking this, the crimson chúi's form began to brighten, and light up, like previously. Shampoo notably had to turn her eyes away to not blind herself. "Whoa-whoa! Hey! I think ya got it!" the girl-Ranma yelped as her metamorphosis continued on, her general shape and form altered itself. Just like last time, the weapon's appearance was changed to a more standard, cylindrical mallet shape, with yin yang symbols plastered on either side. To the continued perplexity of the group, a yellow, almost padding like substance added itself on to both front and backsides of the tool, making it look more like a giant child's toy.

As the light around the weapon's form died down, and the transformation completed itself, the female hammer exclaimed the following, "Ranma- chúi battle mode MK 02: bimbo smasher!" After which she simply blinked in confusion. "Why the heck did I say _that_ again? It's so damn _stupid_!"

"I ain't got a clue either…" Ranma's male form answered back, trying his best to get a good look at his counterpart, cursing how he currently lacked a proper neck. "Maybe it's just part of what happens when you change forms? Kinda like a sound in an elevator sound tellin' ya when ta get off, or somethin'?"

"What the heck does an elevator have ta do with turnin' into a baby's toy, zinc-fer-brains?" the currently altered hammer asked. "Whatever, at we least we got it working now. How'd ya do it anyway, Shampoo?"

As said Amazon was looking over her modified weapon, she tried her best to explain. "Shampoo just sort of… think it to happen, I guess? No, no- that not it _exactly_. I remembered back to when we's were fighting the lady from yesterday, and Shampoo thought about how she wanted to pound her lights out! And then, Ranma-chúi start to transform again!" the Chinese girl said, finding it hard to put her thoughts into proper words.

"So ya just kinda willed it ta happen?" the black chúi commented. "_That'd_ be pretty useful. Hey! Can ya _actually_ make it so we can change back to normal? Could ya at least give it a shot?" he excitedly asked, his voice slightly filled with hope.

The purple haired girl frowned slightly at the question. "Shampoo… Shampoo no think that work Airen. She been wanting you back to normal this whole time! If she could do that, she wouldn't be using power to turn one of yous into a silly toy-thing!" she reasoned. '_I __**wish**__ it could be that simple! Great-Grandmother said that the weapon-people could transform to adapt themselves to certain styles and situations of combat, but there must be some sort of limit that has__n'__ t be__en__ adhered to if it's so uncommon…'_

"Eh, worth askin' anyways I guess…" the female Ranma stated in a slightly downtrodden tone, before speaking up again. "But hey! We still need ta figure out how your fighting style is affected when I'm like this! We can think about things like this some other time! Trainin' ain't over!"

Blinking out of her stupor, Shampoo looked down at her two weapons, and then at the makeshift training ground in front of her, before nodding. "Right! Shampoo try her best!"

What followed was another hour or so of training that both tested out the red chúi's "bimbo smasher" mode, as well as trying to improve the Chinese girl's general combat abilities as a whole. It turned out that even in their current state the two Ranmas could both provide important training advice that her Grandmother seldom had time to give anymore. What the group noted as odd though about the crimson weapon's altered state, as well as to the flustering of the female-Ranma, was that it never seemed to be able to directly harm or damage anything, no matter how much energy or force was exuded into a strike.

'_It's odd…_" Shampoo internally mused, as she went about several altered katas, finding it only minimally difficult to adapt them to her current choice of armaments. "_I keep on trying to hit and break the rocks around me, but I can't seem to be able to even smash apart the tiniest pebble… I'd be wondering if girl-Airen's new form was helpful at all, if it wasn't for the fact that I used her to defeat that Yuri person yesterday. Though, even then, it was weird. I was fully prepared to smack the lady right into the ground! But instead, it only bonked her on the head!_'

"Come on Shampoo!" The girl-Ranma yelled, determined to try and not make herself look like a complete deadweight. "Hit the boulder with all ya can! We can make this work if we try hard enough!"

Ignoring the girl's cry, the chúi-wielding warrior stopped for a second to catch her breath and rest for a moment. "Hold on Ranmas, I don't think this is working too well…" she said as she walked over several feet away to take a seat on a nearby rock. "Shampoo no think this new form work like normal weapon… When we fight blonde-lady, it only just knock her out, not hurt her, _too_ much at least. Shampoo think girl-Ranma's attacks aren't _meant_ to _harm_ people, just stop them."

"What?..." The black chúi asked. "Ya mean it's just sorta supposed to like, stun people, or something?"

"So I'm completely _useless_ like this?" the currently almost toy-like hammer yelped out in an annoyed tone. "Aw man, ya gotta be kidding me! This sucks! Oh- oh it _figures_ though! Ain't nothin' good has come outta this whole thing in the first place! It was stupid ta think we'd actually get a break for once; just another reason to want to get turned back to normal as quick as we can! Hey, Shampoo? Can ya change me back now? At least before I could actually smack people around, it's a step up from _this_."

Upon hearing this, Shampoo ceased her small, but steady flow of ki that she was pouring towards her offhand, much to her relief. She was starting to get tired. "Shampoo sure there plenty of ways toy-Ranma could be useful! We just have to be creative!" she replied, trying to cheer her up.

Before any sort of response could be given, a bright flash of light enveloped the girl-hammer, as, just like before, the burst reverted the changed tool back to its original, chúi state. "Well, at least we don't look _completely_ ridiculous now, but I still got a ways ta go."

"Still, it's getting' kinda late... We've been at this practically all day," The male-Ranma stated, noticing that it was already well past noon, and soon approaching dinner time. He followed up by asking, "Ya must be getting' pretty worn out! Whatta' ya wanna do now Shampoo, head back to the Cafe?"

Shampoo though, stopped for a second to contemplate the question. "_It feels like we've been out here since forever now__. M__y bones are aching me, and I'm sweating far more than_ _I'd like too be during this heat… But at the same time, this is valuable training that I definitely am going to need if we have to go up against those bird-people in a fight again!... Besides, this is the closest I've had to a __**real**__ date with Ranma in a __**long **__time!__'_

Hopping off her rock, Shampoo stretched a bit and shook her head in disagreement. "Actually Airen, if it okay with you, Shampoo thinking it good idea if we keep training out here for a bit more. We need to be extra ready for the trip!" she reasoned back to him.

Energized eyes widening a bit in surprise and eagerness, the black hammer quickly answered back, "Heck yeah! There's plenty a stuff that we can still go over, just you name it!... But hey, did _you_ have somethin' in mind?"

Bringing the male hammer up to face level, the lavender haired Amazon smiled, looking revved up and determined, as well as a tad bit mischievous. "I's think it time to see what guy-Ranma can do! Shampoo want to see if she can change _you_ into super weird other-weapon too!"

* * *

Several hours earlier, half-way across the district, one Chinese Amazon, known as Mousse, was currently waiting for his tracking partner to make an appearance, having already been roughly thirty or so minutes late.

'_Oh come on already_, _I don't even want to __**be**__ here right now… Damn that old ghoul! Just how long until she finally kicks the bucket and can leave me in peace? Hmph, knowing my luck she'll out live me…'_ The glasses wearing boy thought all this with a sigh. Right now, he was standing out in front of the Cat Café, mindlessly sweeping the nonexistent dirt that lay at the storefront. '_There are __**so**__ many other things that I could be doing right now! But no! I've got to help Ranma with __**his**__ stupid problem! It's ridiculous! He is, by textbook definition, my arch-enemy! I mean, I don't even think of him as __a__ friendly-rival or anything__.__ I genuinely hate the guy! He's pompous, arrogant and rude! Worst of all, from what I've seen, most of the time, he gets away with it! No, not like me, where if I say a single word to anyone, I'm liable to get a bruise on my skull! The injustice of it all confounds me!'_

As he contemplated this, his sweeping grew more and more forced and irreverent, until finally, the broom he was wielding snapped itself in half. '_Ah, well, that's just absolutely __**fantastic**__. You can bet that's coming out of __**my**__ pay!'_

Before he could muse any deeper on his woes, a tired, sluggish figure slowly started to make its approach from the oncoming horizon. Even with his damaged eyesight, Mousse could make out the tattered and ripped clothing on the person. But what made it stand out more than anything else though, was the, oddly enough, black soot that covered the majority of the shape's body.

As it neared itself over to the Café, he could plainly make out that it was indeed the weary image of one Ukyo Kuonji. He briefly contemplated running over to see if she was inured, but he decided not to, as her slow pace and lack of urgency eased any worries of an issue that she might seriously have.

Soon she reached the restaurant's front entrance, and in turn, the male Amazon. Noticing though that she simply just stood there, like a slightly hunched over statue, he decided it would probably be a good idea to try and break the ice between them. He didn't want the old ghoul coming after him for so called "slacking off" or anything. "So, um, I'm guessing your little expedition last night did not work out as planned?"

Turning her head slowly, and zombie-like, she merely just stared at Mousse for a moment before answering back. "No, no it did not." Despite the few short words, the part-time duck-boy could easily make out the slight undercurrent of anger in her tone.

With a bit of precaution, he took a gamble and tried to inquire. "What- what exactly happened?..."

Closing her eyes, and taking a deep breath, she neutrally answered back, "I fell down a chimney."

Using all his might, he held back a loud snort that he wanted to give off. It took a few moments, (mainly to make sure he didn't start laughing.) but he did reply back. "Ah, I- I-I _see_…" he said, with a slightly sardonic tone in his voice.

Ukyo simply responded by clenching her fists.

Taking that as not an entirely good sign, Mousse tried to reach out with an olive branch. "We _should_ probably get going though soon. We're already a bit off schedule, but if you want, we can, I guess, take a minute to relax maybe?…" he asked, noticing the dark circles on her face. '_Has she been out running around __**all**__ night?'_

Sighing again, the okonomiyaki chef finally opened her eye. "I- I would like that, if possible."

Deciding to both take a seat out in front of the building, (by the sidewalk) rather than head inside, they both took a moment to rest for a breather.

"You can tell me the exact details later, but I think it's time I went over what we'll be doing today..." Mousse explained. "The old ghoul suggested that we move westward, out of the district entirely. Possibly even out of the ward if we have to," he finished, cringing a bit being made to do such busy work.

Ukyo's eyes widened fully at this, managing to mostly snap the girl out of her dazed state. "We're supposed to go out of the _ward_? On foot? But- that- I'd-" she sputtered in a bewildered state. She was not expecting to have to do so much traveling on the first day of her expedition, _especially_ after the hours she put in just searching the city by herself!

Mousse shrugged, having already gotten his annoyance regarding the subject out of his system hours ago. "That dried up old mummy said that if we're really going to find Kiima, we can't give a 'half-hearted' effort. We apparently have to put our all into doing this. Whether we really want to or not." he finished, mumbling out the last part.

Stretching a bit, and trying her best to wipe the grime that had encrusted itself on her clothes, (with only limited success) the bandolier brandishing girl tried to look at the bright side of things. "Well, at least we're being taken seriously! For a while I thought Ms. Cologne was just trying to get me out of the picture so Shampoo could have Ranchan all to herself. But hey, who knows? Maybe _we'll_ find Kiima before everyone else! _Then_ who'd be the heroes of everything, huh?"

"Ha, knowing the way that that old witch works, she'd probably twist it somehow so that the others would get the credit…" Mousse stated, grunting disdainfully.

Energy for the most part restored in her, Ukyo hopped up on to her feet and slapped the Chinese boy on the black. "Aw, cheer up honey! Things aren't as bad as they seem, we got a plan going on at least! That's more than some could say!"

Mousse readjusted his glasses, looking up at the girl besides him, slightly amazed at how she was able to go from unabashedly annoyed, to downright _peppy _in such a quick interval. '_That's not a trait that most people can easily pull off.' _Standing up, he turned to the other chef. "Fine, I suppose we should get this thing going then, right?"

Nodding her head, Ukyo clenched her fist, her features completely filling with determination. "Uh-_huh_! That's the spirit honey! Just you wait! We'll track down this bird-lady, find the orb and get everything done in no time! You'll see!"

With that the, the two teens started to speed off on their day long search for Kiima. Mousse though, was still annoyed at the predicament that he'd found himself tugged into. He was especially unsure of the seemingly bipolar woman that he was traveling with and her obsessive… _obsession_ with the Saotome boy. _'Oh yes, I'm sure I'll __**see**__ alright__. T__oo bad my vision __is__ 20/200!'_

_

* * *

_

As the sun began to fall beneath the sky, and that brief time known as twilight started to occur, Shampoo and the two Ranmas began to leisurely make their way back to the Cat Café for the evening. The former of the group quite weary from all the training she had done, as well as hungry from her lack of food. She hadn't eaten anything since breakfast!

"That was a heck'ova workout ya did there Shampoo. Ya look real beat! You sure you're okay?..." The black hammer asked; concern easily discernable in his voice.

Smiling down at the chúi in her hand, the purple haired girl answered back, "Shampoo _real_ tired Airen. She no train that hard in long time! I think staying in Nerima soften me up a little…" she stated, a slightly worried tone in her voice.

"Hmm, well, it'd make sense I guess," the female Ranma said sagely. "I mean think about it. You come from a village that's filled with a whole _bunch_ of strong people. You move away from that, and ya have less guys ta fight with!"

"Yeah… Shampoo realize now she need to work too too much harder! She no want to get weak! It just is hard when only Mousse and Great-Grandmother there able to help with training..." Shampoo stated. Truth be told, she was in fact very distraught at the amount of effort she felt she exerted today, for what she thought should have been simple techniques. '_Chasing after Airen has not been entirely beneficial to my martial arts skills...'_ The young girl merely let off a sigh.

"H-hey! Come on, cheer up!" The black chúi exclaimed, trying to make her feel better. Ranma was not one to like to see girls cry or feel sad. "Ya know, if you really want too, once everythin's sorted out and stuff, you can train with me!"

Shampoo's eyes flew open wide at the remark as she tried to choke back a gasp. "R-Ranma really mean it? You want to train with _Shampoo_?" she excitedly asked, the giddiness in her voice practically palpable.

"Ah, sure, if ya feel like you're up for it! Trainin' with Pop's has been getting' a little boring lately, and it's not like Ryoga's a reliable sparring partner. You turn your back for a minute, and he's gone off to Venezuela! Besides, it'd be a nice change a pace to work with someone different," Ranma's male form reasoned.

"Yes! Shampoo love too! Just Airen wait and see! We both have too too good time together fighting!" the young Chinese Amazon exclaimed. A broad and happy grin was now fully plastered upon her face, as her originally sluggish pace that she was walking in grew a little more upbeat.

"I could also give a ton of a lot better advice trainin' wise if I could actually see what everyone was doing… I hate not being able ta move!" The red chúi yelled out with a "hmph".

"Yeah, sorry if we couldn't help ya all _too_ much today, it was kind of disorientatin', bein' smacked and thrown around like that..." The obsidian tool mused, finding even more oddities with the situation that he was put into. "What's weird though was that I was expecting it ta be a lot worse. Even yesterday, when we did all the _real_ fighting, I didn't feel nauseous, dizzy, or anything... Probably just another weird side-effect of that damn orb's magic though."

"Don't you worry Airen! We get you fixed up as soon as we get orb back! Remember, Shampoo _promised_!" the part-time food courier answered back.

"That leaves me wonderin' though… Where the heck do all these magic item's that you Amazon's have come from?" the female-Ranma asked. "It's sorta been on the back of my mind since this whole thing started… Do ya just, ya know, make em or something? It'd be pretty funny to think that someone just sat down one day and said, 'I'll make a dumb ball that'll turn humans into clubs and stuff'!" She finished, doing her "best" impression of what she thought an Amazonian "engineer" would sound like.

Shampoo giggled at the statement and the ridiculousness of it all. "Shampoo no know where _all_ Amazon artifacts come from. Some have crazy _crazy_ stories behind them and others are almost just like you say, girl-Airen!" she exclaimed. "But I don't know where orb of transmutation come from… Shampoo only just learn about it a few days ago. I no even think Great-Grandmother knows much about it. It too too big mystery!…" She added, raising her head skyward as possible ideas for the item's (most likely) strange origin floated around in her head. If her hands weren't full at the moment, she'd probably be rubbing her chin.

"Eh, well it's not like the old freak stealin' it and keepin' it away hidden for that long of time made things easier for everyone. I'm _still_ pissed at the guy for doing this to me! I swear, once I get my hands- my _human_ hands on him, I'm gonna ring his stupid neck!" the crimson chúi finitely said, having not too terribly fond memories of just several days ago being manhandled by the old lecher.

"Yeah… He's probably already forgotten all about the problems he's caused!" Ranma's male form stated, clear annoyance in his voice. "I bet he's just off, lootin' girl's panties again, that dumb old pervert… But that leaves me wonderin'. Ya said that some a the Amazon doodads _did_ have some weird stories behind them? Ya mind tellin' us some? It sounds interesting," he asked curiously.

"Ah! okays, if Airen want me too!" the young Amazonian exclaimed, before furrowing her brow a bit, trying to think of a funny and amusing story to tell the two. "Ooh! Here _good_ one! You remember memory erasing shampoo? Well, the reason that was made was…"

As the day finally shifted its way into night, the group continued to meander their way slowly back to the restaurant, forgetting their problems for the moment, merely just having a pleasant conversation and enjoying each other's company. It was a peace that would last, for at least, a little while.

* * *

The following morning at the Tendo dojo, a certain bandanna wearing boy and blue haired girl were standing out in the backyard by the koi pond. The former of the two stuttering about and giving what could _possibly _be interpreted as training advice, but it was mostly too hard to make out.

"I'll uh, ya know, go over this again, okay Akane? So you know we're on a, um, level playing field?... Oh, ah! When I say 'go over it again', I'm not trying to tell you that you're stupid or anything! No- no! It's just… Oh, umm haha… N-now, you- you see! The Shishi Hokodan works by taking all your depressing feelings and shooting them back at people, you get it? Well, from what we, you know, understand, is that your move works the same way, only with anger!" Ryoga incoherently lectured, flustered quite a bit by the attire that the youngest Tendo daughter was currently wearing. '_That training gi that she is wearing just makes her look so __**cute**__... No, no, focus, __**focus**__!' _He quickly shook his head to clear his thoughts, which has seemingly been far more jumbled lately. He was going to contemplate this, when he noticed the scant amount of cleavage that was visibly poking out of the girl's top, shattering his concentration.

To gain perspective, the primary reason for the part-time pig's currently nervous state was that he had literally just been given an opportunity that he quite honestly almost found unfathomable. He got to spend the night in Akane's house, alone, without Ranma, and not as her pet. Even though Akari had been just about the greatest, brightest thing to come into his life in a long time, the young Hibiki was conflicted. He thought that he was slowly getting over his infatuation with Akane, as it seemed more and more likely that she had slipped into the grasp of Ranma. But now… _but now_, it was pretty much no holds barred once again! He could, theoretically, try and throw himself back into the game, but the question was, did he want to take the chance?

"Haha, Ryoga, you're so funny!" Akane laughed at his antics. "You don't have to be nervous, you're a guest here, you know. Please, just relax! Besides, it's not like a little training is going to up and break me in two! I've been working hard lately! I'm trying to make myself _tough_!" she exclaimed, nodding in a "matter of fact" way.

Yes indeed, Ryoga Hibiki was _perfectly_ willing to take the chance. "Hehe! Of course! I'm _here_ to take you seriously; I know_ Ranma_ tends to have problems with that. But don't you worry; _I'll_ try to help you to the _best_ of my abilities! You have my word," he stated in an overtly chivalrous tone. He was going back to the old game of trying to impress Akane with his skills, while attempting to downplay Ranma as a whole.

"Aw, that's so sweet! But we should try and get a move on and actually get some work done," she stated, taking up a battle stance. "Now, I've done this before. I think all I really need to do is direct my ki into one of my fists… and, I guess, get angry. It's pretty simple; I don't understand why I haven't seen other people use it before," she added, momentarily raising her finger to her chin, gesticulating herself as she contemplated, before quickly reasserting herself into a proper combat pose. She didn't want to look unprofessional!

"Ha! Ha um, well… From what I understand, or at least from what I guess, _certain_ ki moves can only really be used by, ya know, _certain _people. Like maybe, I don't know… You're energy is based around what suits you best? Hehe, it's just sort of something I came up with…" he mumbled out, scratching the back of his head, wondering if what he just said sounded stupid or not. It was an idea he came up one day after he had spent countless hours trying to learn some of Ranma's moves. He had gotten the procedure down perfectly, he was even completely confident in his actions, but he still couldn't pull anything off properly. The realization of that depressing fact made him blow a Shishi Hokodan into a nearby wall moments afterwards.

Akane blinked, before she thought about his statement for a moment. '_That __**would**__ explain things… People get mad enough around here to toss off half a dozen of these around a day! You'd think someone would have done it by now if they could… But if what he says is true, it might explain things… I mean I guess I do have a __**bit**__of__ a temper problem, a tiny one at most, so it's not really __**that**__ strange that I would be the one to be able to use it__,__' _she contemplated, before she verbally replied to him, "That's not a bad idea, Ryoga. Gosh, you're so smart!... But we can talk about that later. I really want to try and do this move again."

"Ah, ah, well... umm, if you want to try and do the attack, we're sort of going to have to make you, ya know, get angry…" Ryoga replied, not feeling entirely too comfortable with how to broach the subject.

"Mmm, yeah… you're right…" Akane mumbled, moving her head off to the side, looking way, not exactly sure what to say at the moment. "I sort of wish Ranma was here right now. He may be a completely and utter blockhead, but if there's one thing he's good at, it's making me mad!" the youngest Tendo exclaimed with a laugh, trying to lighten the mood a little.

Ryoga nodded his head as he fell deeper into contemplation. "Yeah… He's probably off with Shampoo right now. And knowing how much of a _pervert_ he is, him not being human isn't likely stopping him from doing something with her," he thought aloud, unaware of the indignant look that grew upon Akane's face. "I mean, this _is_ Shampoo we're talking about here, right? She's the girl who's always clinging, and kissing, and hugging Ranma, whenever she feels like it! If he's not flirting with her or anything, she's probably suckered him into a date or something!,,, Not exactly sure how'd that work though…" he stated, scratching his head.

The bandanna wearing boy continued on prattling mindlessly, going on about all the weird and strange things Shampoo could be doing with Ranma in her hands. With each sentence though, with each _syllable_, Akane's fury grew more and more red hot, until it was a steaming rage that simply wanted to release itself. Now, she knew she could certainly wait until her temper boiled over completely, but she didn't want to risk overtly damaging the house. So, using what she had already learned, the blue haired girl directed the energy into her hand and raised it upward. But due to the instability of the still new process, she was unable to completely control just where it was about to launch off in!

"…I mean, let's be honest, Ranma's father is Genma. And who trained him? Happosai! Now, you're telling me that a little of that didn't rub off on him? It's just really simple logic…" Ryoga continued on, he himself annoyed at the various things he was thinking about. "I mean, seriously, let's face it. Both Ranmas, in their current state, look like giant-" It was at that moment that the Hibiki boy's danger senses kicked in and he noticed a fiery red ki burst forth, heading right for his direction. But due to his distracted state, he simply _did not_ have enough time to dodge, and was struck by the full brunt of the attack.

"Oomph!" he yelled, as the shot struck him hard in the chest. This time though, _unlike_ the previous attempt, it having made direct and solid contact caused the energy to explode on impact, unleashing its full energy on the young boy! Luckily though, Ryoga, through harsh training and years living in wilderness, had grown strong and was quite easily able to take the relatively weak and half-energized onslaught without _too_ much trouble. Sputtering, and coughing a bit though, Ryoga replied in a rather dazed state. "Ha! Well, haha… Looks like you made it work again!..." he finished, trying to stabilize himself.

"Oh Ryoga! I'm so sorry!..." Akane apologized, slowly taking a cautious step towards the other boy. "I still need a bit of practice to get this thing under control."

"Ah, ha! It's- it's all right!" the young Hibiki stated, literally shaking himself out of his stupor. "You know though, you should really come up with a name for it… Just calling it a '_thing_' doesn't really make it seem all that intimidating…" he mused, trying to think of a proper title that he could suggest.

"That's been on my mind too… I've been trying to think of something good. Everyone else's attacks have fancy names for them. I just don't want it to sound 'dorky' or anything," Akane explained, wracking her brain for something that could possibly work.

"Ah, I'm sure you'll think of _something_ Akane and I bet it's gonna be great! Haha!" Ryoga added, scratching the back of his head. He was trying to flatter her to the best of his, albeit limited, abilities.

"Yeah, I just need a little more time me to come up with something," the blue haired girl sagely nodded. "Oh, and Ryoga? You're on fire..."

"Huh?... Waahh!" the umbrella wielding warrior screamed, have just turned his head to see the small blaze that was currently burning itself on his shoulder. Just like last time, Akane's ki attack left the nasty after-effect of setting ablaze anything that it touched, much to the misfortune of our favorite lost boy.

As the part-time pig ran about in a less than intelligent manner, screaming off phrases such as, "I'm on fire I'm on fire!" and "Put it out put it out!" Akane did her best to try and fix the situation. Using her quick thinking, the young Tendo girl lifted up a half filled bucket of water that lay by the wayside of the pond and started to rush after him. "Hold on Ryoga! Don't worry, I'll stop it!"

Oddly enough though, Akane noted, this simply just made him run faster.

Off to the side, back in the household portion of the Tendo residence, a group of people were currently enjoying the day, sipping on tea and having light a conversation.

"Oh my, Akane and her little friend certainly seem to be having fun, don't you think?" Kasumi asked, carrying in a plate of snacks for the ensemble to munch upon. She placed the food on the table and made sure to carefully display them horizontally from largest to smallest. She _had_ to keep things in correct order!

"I suppose… But I just don't like how this _other _boy is training with Ranma's fiancée like this," Nodoka said while nodding. "It should be _him_ helping her out; it'd only be the manly thing to do." She casually glanced at the antics currently going on outside, noticing how the Hibiki boy had just patted himself down and narrowly dodged a splash of water that was aimed at him.

"Mmm, well, the boy _is_ a bit predisposed right now, still stuck with those Chinese people…" Genma said, trying to enjoy his free time while he had it. Apparently _he_ was supposed to go and look for that damnable Kiima woman as well! "But you're right! It shouldn't be some miscreant that is helping Akane learn the art! If they're to be wed then they should be doing this _together_!" '_The only reason I chose not to go was because I didn't want to take part in __**any **__of this! It's just not fair! Can't the boy solve his own problems? I mean I care about him, but this is simply too much leg work!'_

Sitting across from Genma, Soun wept as he read through his newspaper. "Oh this is a travesty! My poor daughter, taking comfort in another man's arms while her true fiancé is away! Now the schools will never be united!" he yelled as tears of sorrowed poured down his face.

"Quiet Tendo! You know it's nothing like that! While I think the boy over there _may_ have an interest in your daughter, I highly _doubt_ that anything will come of it. That kid could get himself lost in a paper bag!" Genma replied, clearly annoyed by Soun's near constant bemoaning of himself. '_Maybe getting out of this place for a bit wouldn't be __**too**__ terrible of an idea…'_

"I'm just annoyed that Ranma still, for some reason, has to stay with those… _people_, especially that Cologne person," Nodoka mused irritably. "I hope he- and she, I suppose, are doing okay. It must be so confusing for them…" Nodoka contemplated, as she thought about her child's, or, currently, children's fate. She had no doubt in her mind that they would turn back to normal, healthy human beings, but there were so many variables that it was starting to make her head spin. '_And there's also the fact that he and her literally have had to spend several night's with those appalling Amazon's. I could hardly stand being with them for more than a few hours; I'd hate to see how they're holding out after being there for several days!' _

"I'm sure Ranma is doing perfectly fine Mrs. Saotome. His foreign girlfriend wouldn't do anything to hurt him," Kasumi reassured, not noticing the sneers and grimaces at the use of the word "girlfriend" for Shampoo. "And Ms. Cologne is _very_ polite. I'm certain she's keeping him perfectly comfortable." The eldest Tendo daughter was not _entirely_ aware of the goings on right now, but she knew that it somehow involved magic and something to do with Ranma's "little friends". '_They're always off making so much mischief! It's always amazing that they don't get hurt…Blood is always such a hard stain to get out of clothes!' _Snapping out of her current thoughts, she moved on to another subject. "Though I _do_ wonder where Nabiki is. I haven't really had a chance to speak with her all day!"

Genma "hmphed" in an angry tone, thinking back to the girl. Frankly, he had gotten over his initial humiliation and fear for the middle Tendo's "panda on a leash" actions, and now more than anything was simply just annoyed. "Oh, knowing her, she's simply off tending to one of schemes," he stated, before turning his head over to his teary-eyed companion. "You should really talk some sense into that girl, Soun. You don't want to raise a con-artist!"

Still too mopey to care, Kasumi answered for him. "Oh Nabiki is a perfectly reasonable girl! She's just a bit of an entrepreneur…" she reasoned.

"That's putting it mildly…" the elder Saotome stated, bitterness fully discernable in his voice.

Snapping out of it a bit, the Tendo patriarch responded, "My daughter's are all perfectly healthy and reasonable people; I have no idea what you are talking about Genma!" Soun said, crossing his arms, forcing as hard as he could to hold back the seemingly endless wave of waterworks.

Out in the backyard, the group could plainly make out enough to see a red hot explosion go off, this time managing to uproot part of the ground and singe most of the grass. For those with trained ears, you could easily make out the words "Oops!" being exclaimed from not too far way.

Soun turned his head back to the group as the tears streamed forth and his makeshift dam broke. "Well, _most_ of them, anyway…" From then on, the waterworks couldn't stop flowing.

* * *

Up in Shampoo's room, the two chúis were currently laying side by side on the bed, a few inches away from an assortment of items and products that were being mulled over, as the purple haired girl carefully and meticulously chose which things she would need to pack for the trip.

"Hmm, this no good, Shampoo no need bring _extra_ weapons. She be using both Airen's whole time…" the Chinese Amazon mused, as she pushed aside several other tools and other offensive armaments. An array of swords, staves and other smaller throwing long ranged gear, entirely left out of her traveling equipment. She mentally noted that she had just cleared up a _substantial_ amount of space in her backpack.

"Hey Shampoo, why the heck are ya doin' this _today_?" the red chúi exclaimed, slightly confused about the girl putting so such much time into, what she thought was a menial thing. "You got all a tomorrow ta worry about packin' and stuff! You should be trying to _relax_ before we hit the road!"

"Shampoo want to be _extra_ prepared for when we go Ranmas! Great-Grandmother always say you need to be 'one step ahead of enemy', so she do what she could do tomorrow, today!" the young girl reasoned. Now she going through some of her less interesting necessities, picking out what tooth brush she would need to bring and how many socks she should take with her.

"Smart, I guess…" the black Ranma mused. "I tend ta try and not look so far ahead about things and stuff. My life's _way_ too crazy for me to try and think past just what's comin' at me, ya know? I mean heck! Just look at what happened to me a few days ago! Ya think you could predict _that_, and put it on a schedule?" he rhetorically asked, cracking a small joke about the current state he was in.

Shampoo giggled as she folded some clothes together, before she grew a bit curious. "That mean Ranmas no know what they want to be in _future_?" she asked, turning her head away from what she was doing and tilting it to the side.

"…Like I said, I don't really want to think too much about it. Most of the time, I don't really like the picture that I'm seein'… I mean, Pop and pretty much _everyone_ wants me to go and run the Tendo dojo or somethin', and I just really don't get what to think… I mean, ya said earlier that I'm a pretty good teacher, but I ain't _that_ great. Besides, I don't even know if that's what I want to do!" the obsidian tool exclaimed, voice growing a little unsure at the end.

You see, Ranma had never really spoken to anyone about his current potential plans for his life. Oh sure, he'd mention things about how he was going to get his curse fixed, but nothing too far beyond that. Ranma, due to mostly being raised with only very little human interaction, was actually a very private person, despite his loudmouth bravado. But in their current forms, they both had very few things to do that would keep their minds preoccupied, and as such, they had time to wander. In the past few days they had thought about a lot of matters, from something as simple as a new training idea, to deeper, more important issues, like the state of his current relationships, and, overall, how thing's would work out for them. The female version tried her best to ignore the elephant in the room, about the possibility of being stuck a girl. But because of all this overt _thinking_, the Ranmas felt like a steam kettle ready to go off and needed to vent their troubles in someway.

And, as it should so happen, it was a certain lavender haired girl that was there to lend her ear. Shampoo's mind raced though. She knew she needed to play this right. If she started going off talking about taking them back to the village, or leading their own happy life in Japan as good ideas, she may very well lose them, in more ways than one. Slowing her packing pace to a crawl, the girl tried to answer back with a safe and neutral question. "W-what would Airen _like _to do?... If you could do all things in world, what would yous pick?"

"Ah, I don't know…" Ranma's female form began. "Maybe- _maybe_… Eh, this probably sound stupid and stuff, and a lot of people might not think it, but I actually sorta did _like _livin' on the road… The only real bad thing about it was when Pop would come up with some crazy new training idea and make me suffer through it. Other than that though… It was peaceful. Ya got to see a lot of great sights, and most of all, ya had _freedom_. And it's not like I got a heck of a lot of that right now…" she trailed off, as she glanced over some of her fonder memories of her childhood. "I guess goin' back to that wouldn't' be bad… But still, I don't think it'd work. S'not like ya can make a livin' just being a bum and stuff. At some point, I guess I _will _have ta settle down, and do something with myself…"

"T-that not true Airen!" The teenage Amazonian warrior exclaimed, having stopped her packing for the moment, and taken a seat next to the chúis. "There plenty of thing you could do's if yous just want to travel! Yous smart persons, Ranmas always figure out how to get what they want in end. Shampoo know, she seen it before!"

"Well, aw, hehe, that's enough blabbering on about us and stuff!" the male Ranma cut in. "What about _you_ Shampoo. What do you want to end up doing?" he asked, trying to catch the girl off guard so she didn't notice the bashfulness in his voice.

The purple haired girl shot back a little and then started blushing. Various images of past fantasies that the girl had had started flying through her mind and began to flash forward. Pictures of her and Ranma having true romantic moments between each other, seeing him grow to return the love she already had for him, them getting married, and having a beautiful honeymoon, and finally visions of them, some time in the future, possibly raising a pair of their own little martial artists as well. She knew it was silly. A proud warrior such as herself, having such girlish dreams, but she took a sort of pleasant comfort in them and still hoped to one day actually have them come true.

"Shampoo… well, Shampoo is Great-Granddaughter to powerful Amazon matriarch," she said, explaining what would be her _most likely_ actual future to them. "When- _if_ she pass away, Shampoo trained to take place and help lead Amazon tribe… It is too too big responsibility..."

"Sure, ya _said_ that, but it doesn't sound like that's what ya _want_," the crimson chúi stated, trying to get the other girl to open up. "Come on; lay it on us. The craziest thing ya can think of! Don't worry, neither a us will laugh."

Her head turned away, the young Amazon whispered the following; her voice barely audible. "_Shampoo want to be with you, Airen…"_

"What was that ya said, Shampoo?" the black chúi asked genuinely. He honestly did not hear what the girl had said.

"Oh, is no important, don't yous worry!" Shampoo exclaimed, instantly changing her tone to her usual bright and upbeat form. Checking the time, Shampoo let up a small gasp. "Shampoo still need finish getting things together, she no want to waste day away! She still want to go and train again!" the girl said, quickly getting up from her seat and trying to rush through the remaining items that needed to be gathered.

As she did this, the Ranmas decided to stay quiet. All of them, including Shampoo, had plenty of things to think about.

Some more than others.

* * *

Somewhere on a pedestrian sidewalk in the Nagano prefecture, a particular Chinese boy was currently staring down a slightly fearful okonomiyaki chef. Anger was clear on his face, as he slowly but surely began to take short, but deliberate steps towards the girl.

"O-okay, so- so maybe checking out that bird sanctuary was a stupid idea after all!" Ukyo quickly stuttered. "But I still wanted to make sure! How was I supposed to know that you would get splashed and captured by them?" she asked, defensively raising her hands up and a dumbfounded, slightly apologetic look upon her face.

Mousse, not taking any excuses at attempts to reason, lurched forward until he and the other girl were mere inches apart, Ukyo just now noticing how much taller he was than her.

The Chinese Amazon, using his brute strength, lifted her up directly off her feet and pulled her to eye level. She could plainly make up the sweaty, unshaven five o' clock shadow on his face, as well as his bloodshot eyes that continued to grow redder from his lack of sleep. "They. Tried. To. _MATE_! ME!" He yelled, shaking the girl a little, his fury palpable.

The spatula wielding chef let off a slightly nervous laugh and started to cringe. She absolutely had no real way to defend herself. "To be fair, I got you out before anything happened!"

"_MATE_! ME!" He bellowed, shaking the girl even further and harder than before, rage curdling in his voice. Unbeknownst to either of them at the time, several of the passersby started to give them strange looks. Not trying to raise any sort suspicion or other issues, Mousse simply just dropped the girl and turned around, ignoring the "Oomph!" she made when she fell on her rear.

Clenching his fists, he let off a low growl, before he took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself. '_Relax. __**Relax**__… It was __**not**__ her entire fault, it was mostly just dumb and terrible luck. I got out of there in one piece… I just have to… __**relax**__,' _his mind ruminated, as he slowly let his anger drop to a more manageable level. "I'm picking the next place we go," he said clearly, and finitely.

Blinking a few times, still sitting on the ground, quite unsure of just what to do or say, the bandolier brandishing chef began to nod profusely. "Right, right, of course! You just- you just pick wherever! Don't you worry! Hehe!" Ukyo exclaimed, trying her best to get on his good side. '_This guy is __**scary**_ _when he gets mad! I'd hate to see what he'd look like if he ever just completely snapped!'_

Continuing his breathing exercise, Mousse turned and took a seat on the curbside on the road, joining Ukyo as they both sat together on the ground. "I- I just need a bit of a break here… This entire stupid trip- hell! This entire week! Has been like climbing up a hill dotted with landmines. It's been completely ridiculous," he said aloud as he contemplated how things had been going for them. So far they had been searching on a wild goose chase for this Kiima woman; practically nothing had come from it! What was worse for them though was how, due to being so far away from Nerima, and too tired to make the trip, they had to spend the night away from their homes, choosing to sleep in a nearby park, as their meager funds couldn't afford a hotel room. '_Well, I've always feared living as a hobo; I guess this was my opportunity to face it… Not like there was anything gained from it, anyway though… Next time, I've got to remember to bring camping equipment.'_

"Yeah… things have been pretty tough, I'm sorry… Especially about what just happened…" Ukyo stated, trying to get back on at least neutral terms with him, though she seemingly failed as he sneered when she started mentioning their recent activities. "But don't you worry! I'm sure things will get better! Once we find this orb, we'll fix Ranchan, and get everything back to normal!" she exclaimed, trying to reassure him to the best of her abilities.

"Yes, yes, you keep on _saying_ that… Honestly, I can't believe the way you act when you think about the jerk! On this entire excursion you've done nothing but ramble on about, like he's some sort of Adonis! It's worse then Shampoo… Seriously, how can you even like him? He's a pompous idiot! How's that good for anything?" Mousse asked, letting his rage simmer outward on an old favorite target of his, Ranma Saotome.

"Hey! Don't say that! Ranchan's great! He has a good heart and always helps his friends out when they need it! We can't just let him down like this, especially not when he's trapped with a curse worse than normal! We have to show we care! _He_ would!" Ukyo proclaimed, at the ready to defend her wayward fiancé from his secondary rival's backtalk.

"He cares, does he? Because it seems like normally, the only person he even gives a damn about is that Akane girl... and my Shampoo, when he tries to seduce her. It seems to me like he couldn't give a rat's ass about anyone else," Mouse replied, crossing his arms, still mad about the world in general.

"That's not true! Ranchan's been my best friend ever since we were kids! I'm the only one who listens and cares for him! I'm sure that if he wasn't stuck around Akane, or that bimbo of yours, he'd love me back as much as I love him! He's just jumbled up all the time… And hey! You're one to talk! From what I've seen, and you've told me, your 'girlfriend' hates you! Always smacking you around and insulting you! Constantly going behind your back! How can you possibly love a woman like _that_?Do you like abuse or something?" Ukyo demanded, becoming a bit more forward as she herself grew annoyed.

Turning his head to his "companion", Mousse sneered. "No! It isn't anything like that! I've- I've known Shampoo since we were kids as well! We played together, trained together; I was there when her Mother died! We were meant to be! If that damnable Ranma hadn't of gotten in the way, I'm sure she would have already realized this by now!" Mousse exclaimed, his fury rising up higher with each word.

"Ha! It's not Ranchan's fault that your tribal laws are so stupid! I mean seriously? You get beaten in a fight and you have to marry someone? Just what kind of idiot comes up with a law like that?" the okonomiyaki chef demanded, though genuinely curious for an answer.

Mousse merely let off a snort. "I have no clue either… some senile old hag probably came up with it centuries ago! It's idiotic to think that it still actually applies somehow to modern life! But no, no! If you want to marry someone in the tribe, you've first got to beat them to a pulp! Heh, talk about tough love…" the Chinese boy said, mumbling the last part as he eyes grew a little distant.

Ukyo's anger ebbed a little as the boy beside her went on his tangent. Hearing the bitterness in his voice made her frown a tad. "Sounds- sounds like you don't really like that village you're from, I'm guessing?" she asked, inching closer a little.

The weapons expert paused, opening his mouth, ready to answer back that that was not in any way the case, but with everything going on right now, he simply felt too tired to argue, and just let off a grunt.

Standing up and stretching a bit, he gestured his hand out to help the girl up. "Don't worry about it… We've got other things to deal with. You want to find that orb for your boyfriend, and I want to get this over with as quickly as possible."

Taking his hand, Ukyo finally got up and dusted herself off, still noticing the bits of grime from her fall down the chimney on her. "Well, if you're ready… You said you wanted to pick, so do you have any places in mind?"

"Yeah, yeah… I've got a few, don't worry. Just follow me. I'll explain where we are going once we get a move on." Mousse stated, making sure his glasses were secure as he rushed off into a direction that he had a good feeling about.

Shrugging, and not really having much to add, Ukyo followed suit, giving chase to the part-time duck-boy. Internally though, she had a lot to mull over. When she first met Mousse, she thought he was just some weird, not particularly reliable foreigner. Now though, it seemed that he had a bit more to him than she thought. Or if not "more", he in the least had a lot of issues that she previously was unaware of that she could somewhat sympathize with. These matters, toppled on with her silent contemplation of the things they had talked about in their conversation, lead to the next following few minutes of their expedition to be held in awkward silence.

* * *

On the day before the group was supposed to take off for Mount Phoenix, Akane Tendo was currently standing in her household's kitchen, having a light and pleasant conversation with Kasumi, as the elder girl went preparing and packing the things she thought all of them would need while they were away.

"Thanks a lot for doing this, big sis. Are you sure you don't need any help with preparing the food? I'd be glad to!" The blue haired girl asked rather enthusiastically. Though truth be told, she was a little bit beat after all the hard training she had done. She was sort of hoping she could take it somewhat easier today, so she wouldn't feel exhausted once they hit the road.

"Oh, I've got everything covered here Akane-dear! There's no need to worry!" Kasumi exclaimed, trying to reassure the other girl. "Most of the food I'm packing for you is preserved, so there's no real cooking at all. You _did_ say that this trip may go on for several weeks," she said, as she mentally went over the various foodstuffs she was packaging into individual bags for the ensemble. Cans of soup, cereals, dried fruit, crackers and other long lasting items were meticulously plucked and placed for each member. Order had to be upheld of course!

"Okay… and we've got everything settled with the school, right?" The youngest Tendo asked, thinking back to the quick trip she made with Kasumi yesterday after her training session with Ryoga. "I don't want to make any sudden trips over there again right now if I can help it."

"Yes, you shouldn't have to worry unless you're gone for any longer than a month or so," the housekeeper said, turning her head to look at the girl before raising her index finger upwards. "Just remember, you're on an extended trip to visit some long lost relatives in Kyoto, all right?" Kasumi clarified, trying to make sure her little sister had her story straight.

"Right, of course, it's simple enough… shouldn't be anything to worry about," the Tendo heir mused, leaning herself up against a nearby wall and closing her eyes. "Gosh, what would I do without you Kasumi? My life would be a wreck!"

While going about adding name tags and proper labels to the bags of food, the spectacular housewife replied back, "Ooh, now don't say that, little sister! You do fine, it's just that the life you live can get a tad… hectic, I suppose? We all need a little assistance sometimes; it's only human." As she said this, Kasumi noticed a speck of grime on the counter top. Quickly, with a lick of her thumb, she forcefully wiped it away. '_Ah, perfect.' _Turning back to the other girl, she continued on. "And besides, you've been doing a lot better lately! In just the past few days, you've seemed a lot less… angry."

Normally, saying that would have set the young girl off, but for some reason, she just shrugged. "I- I think it's this new move that I've come up with… I'm guessing it's umm, kind of a good outlet for me?... Well, _that_, and all the fighting I've been doing... " Akane asked, and then stated, as she herself tried to figure things out.

Kasumi paused in what she was doing to contemplate this. In the past few days she had had _her _roof destroyed; _her_ lawn uprooted, and in general, had had _her_ home left in complete shambles. '_So this is the way our little Akane has found to take her aggressions out?... __R__ampant destruction of our household property?' _She stared off into the distance for a moment, before smiling. '_Marvelous! All the more cleaning that allows me to do!_' She nodded her head, as she noticed a single ant crawling on the floor, before she went to the task of eradicating the terrible little menace with her shoe.

"It's _so_ good that you've found a way for you to burn off some of that excess energy you always seem to have Akane. I'm happy for you!" Kasumi said, bending over for a moment to take off her left piece of footwear, rinsing and drying it off the bottom of it. She didn't want to go walking around all day with that disgusting creature's carcass on her! "But tell me, how has everything else been going for you lately? I know a lot has been happening, what with Ranma being away and that nice Ryoga boy spending the past few nights over here," she asked, dutifully returning to her work.

Akane frowned at this, not entirely sure how to answer the question. While Kasumi _was_ one of the best people to go to when you needed to talk to someone, she certainly didn't want to be forced into any particular obligations, if she were to say the wrong few words here or there. To be frank though, she wasn't sure what to think lately. '_My life is confusing as is, not counting all of these new things going and changing everything up! Hell, I'm __**still**__ trying to over the events of that __**stupid**__ wedding!...' _Akane sighed at knew it wasn't _entirely _Ranma's fault, if any really. '_But the way he just lunged after that drowned boy water…'_ It still left her relatively unsure of where their relationship was going though, and as such, she closed herself off a bit from him, reverting to much the way they acted towards each other when they just met with their constant bickering. Even the others were starting to notice.

'_I just don't know… I'm pretty sure I, well… __**like**__ Ranma… But I don't want him to go off on me or something if I say it! If only he'd confess first… Still, even then, I don't know if we're good for each other. I mean, we're only __s__eventeen__. W__e've got our whole lives ahead of us! How can I know that __**he's**__ the one? And with all this pressure… even if we like each other, is that enough?' _Akane thought, with a far off look in her eyes.

"Little sister, are you okay?" Kasumi asked, her head tilted to the side.

"Hmm? Oh!" the blue haired girl intelligently exclaimed, after just being ripped out of her reverie. "I'm fine, don't worry. Just thinking of things. Maybe a little dazed too because I'm tired. All this training sure takes it out on you!..." she yelled enthusiastically. Not waiting to see the nod of approval from the other girl, Akane continued on. "Things have been going fine! It's just all a little mixed up, you know?... Anyway, Ranma not being here has been… weird, I guess. It's been a lot quieter… but Ryoga's so helpful! He's been really good at teaching me a lot of things that I wasn't getting in my regular training!"

"Oh, that's so good to hear Akane!" the Tendo housekeeper exclaimed, having finished setting up the food and moved on to properly organizing the various dishes in the kitchen. She didn't want to have a bowl sitting next to a plate; that would be madness! "You know… I think he may have a tiny bit of a crush on you, what with the way he always seems be blushing and stuttering."

Akane flinched back at the remark, a strange bemused look upon her face as she seemingly questioned how her sister came to _that_ conclusion. "Ryoga, likes _me_? I'm sorry sis, but that's just crazy! He's too nice of a guy to do something as perverted as _that_! He also has that Akari girl, and from what I hear, she's very nice! …Besides, Ryoga isn't really my type anyway. A little too… outdoorsy. '_He always somehow smells like a pigpen... Huh, wa-wait a second! So __**that**__ must be where Ranma's nicknames come from__. O__f course!' _Akane shrugged."I think he's just sort of the… nervous type. Must come from not really being around people too much."

"Ah," Kasumi simply said, a little too focused on the task at hand. _"No, no, no! The red rimmed plates go with the red rimmed plates! The pure white ones go with the pure white ones! Who organized these last, father?... Haha, he's __**so**__ silly sometimes!' _"Where exactly _is _your little friend right now, anyway?"

Blinking, the blue haired girl answered back, "Oh, he said he just had to take care of something real quick. Told me he had to talk to a few people, nothing to worry about!" she said, smiling.

Kasumi stopped in her important task of making sure each platter was stacked to an even ten, to look at her sister in an odd way. "Are you sure that's a good idea, Akane?... I mean, from what I understand, that Ryoga boy has a bit of an issue with getting lost…"

The young tomboy waved her off. "Oh, that's greatly exaggerated; he knows how to get around plenty! He's perfectly capable! I'm sure he'll be back any moment!"

As fate would have it, just mere seconds after she said this, a certain bandanna wearing individual walked through the door. "Hehe! Hey Akane! Sorry I've been gone for so long. Just had to take care of some issues before the big trip!" Ryoga said, scratching the back of his head.

Akane merrily hoped on over to him with a smile on her face. "See, sis? He's right here! Oh, and don't you worry about _that_ Ryoga. You didn't complain when I had to head over to the school! It's no issue at all!" she said finitely.

Turning his head, he noticed the elder Tendo daughter and waved, absently wondering why she was color matching the boxes in the kitchen. "Oh, hello Kasumi, it's nice to see you," he stated, before turning to the shorter girl before him. "So uh, now that that's all done, what do you want to do with the rest of the day?" he asked, his entire attention on Akane.

"Ah, I don't know Ryoga. I kind of don't want to stress working too hard training wise right now; don't want to injure myself before we head out…" she said, hoping he'd understand.

"O-oh! Don't worry! That's perfectly fine. It's a long way to Mount Phoenix; you gotta relax while you can! Hehe!" he stated, nodding his head vehemently before an idea started to form in his head. "Y-you know… if, say, you want to… We could possibly, maybe, go see a movie? Haha…"

Blinking a few times, Akane stared at him for a moment and then smiled. "That's a great idea, Ryoga! The perfect way to relax! What do you want to see?..." she asked, quite curious.

"Well, there's that new comedy movie out, it's supposed to be good…" Ryoga mumbled awkwardly, trying to play it as cool as possible, though not exactly doing so.

"Oh, I've wanted to watch that for a while now! Do you know when it's playing?..." she asked.

"Well, umm… I think they might be showing one in about half an hour or so… If you want to go that is…" Ryoga stated, slightly amazed that everything was working out so well for him.

"That sounds great; I'll go get the money for the tickets," Akane stated, just about to head off into her room to check her funds.

"W-wait! Hold on!" the part-time pig exclaimed, reaching his arm out, holding two blue tickets in his hands. "I've uh, sorta, already bought them for us, hehe…"

Once again, the blue haired girl blinked several additional times, before clasping her hands together. "Gosh Ryoga, your so smart! Already having them with you! You sure know how to plan ahead! Come on, we could get going right now," she happily stated, gesturing him to follow. "Hey sis, tell Dad that I'll be out for a few hours, okay?" Not even waiting for a reply, she led Ryoga off, as they marched toward the theater.

Off to the side, Kasumi just stared, a varying amount of subjects and emotions on her mind, all of them mostly leading to the single matter of confusion. '_Though I suppose that's par for the course in this household…'_ Looking to the side, she noticed that there was a blue jar sitting brazenly next to an orange. She quickly handled the matter. '_Oh my, how I did I miss __**that**__? I am __**not**__ in top form today and there's still so much work to do! I've got to make sure the new tiles on the roof are properly set, check to see if the replaced grass in the backyard is evenly cut and properly organize the position of where the television remote goes! Busy busy!'_

_

* * *

_

Out in the open backyard of the Cat Café, Shampoo sat, attempting to relax with her two chúis in hand. For the past two days she had been rigorously training herself, trying to at least, somehow, incrementally improve her abilities in the short span of time she had before heading off into the very heart of the Phoenix people's territory. She wanted to continue on, focus harder and work even faster, but the Ranmas expressed extreme concern that the purple haired girl was over exerting herself and recommended that she take a day off to relax, and recoup before the trip.

So there she was; sitting, mildly bored as the soft breeze of the early Thursday morning air blew past her. She had done a lot of contemplating since yesterday, about what her future life may entail and whether or not it would even involve Ranma. She had been trying _so_ hard not to act overly enthusiastic when around the two (usually) pigtailed martial artists. She wanted to make it known that she was more than just some girl going after him, that not only could she be a respectable aid when he needed her, but a friend as well. The constant being around them all day and night though had really started to get the gears in her head churning and a lot of the worries she had buried deep in her had begun to surface. and Not being able to push them back by spending her time rigorously training was making things much more difficult for her.

To be completely honest, she was starting to get fidgety.

"Airen, are you sures that it good idea to not train today? Shampoo no want to be caught off guard or somethings when we get to Phoenix people's mountain. We _need_ to be ready!" the Chinese girl exclaimed, trying to persuade them into practicing without getting either of the two angry or upset.

"Ya know as well as I do, a day without trainin' ain't gonna kill ya," the black chúi lectured, trying to get the Chinese girl to take it easy for a little while. He had seen how hard she was working, and while he found it impressive, he didn't want her to over do things. It was a long ways to the Qinghai region. "Besides, we don't want you passing out from exhaustion half way to China! You're just worryin' because things are really gonna start movin' soon. But take it from me, any sorta break you can get, go for it! I remember when I was on the road with Pop's. He once woke me up at four in the mornin' to do some wacky weight training involvin' a bear, while I was half asleep! Any day where we just covered the basics was like Christmas!... Really, what I'm sayin' is, just relax for now; we'll have plenty of time ta fight when we're on the road!"

Sighing, the purple haired girl just nodded her head. "I know's… Shampoo just bored! She no have anything to do since Great-Grandmother forbid working for right now. And Shampoo no go to school like Airen's," she replied, relaying her situation to the two chúis.

"Well, think about it!" the red hammer interjected. "Right now, ya can do anythin' in the world! It's a day off, so, like; do ya have any fun kind of stuff that you enjoy?" she asked, trying to think of something her companion might like to do.

"Fun stuff?..." Shampoo asked aloud, internally trying to come up with an adequate answer. Of her few hobbies, one of her main interests, ever since she was young was, embarrassingly enough for her, reading romance novels. She found a quaint sort of pleasure in seeing two people grow to love and accept each other. When she was just little, she would often scrounge up what limited amount of that form of literature the Amazon village had, and try and read the stories by candle light, not wanting to see the other warrior sisters committing such a "foolish" act. When she came to Nerima though, her interest had expanded ten fold, now that she herself had someone she was chasing. Not to mention all the new content she had access to, since she was no longer living in such a remote area. Shampoo _personally_ blamed the stories for all the "silly" fantasies she had of Ranma, but she didn't regret enjoying them. Besides all the fun there was in reading the pieces, it also greatly sped up the task of improving her Japanese language skills.

"Umm, Shampoo likes to read books?..." she semi-stated, not exactly sure how the Ranmas would take her interests, especially considering the fact that both of them had an overt dislike for anything that could be deemed "girly", because of there condition. But she simply couldn't think of anything else on the fly.

"Ooh, I don't really get to read too much," the black chúi sadly said. "Pop's always goes on saying I should 'spend more time trainin', and less time dealing with unmanly things like that! And a bunch a other dumb stuff... What kind do ya read, anyway?" he curiously asked.

Not really liking the response she got from the boy, Shampoo tried to weasel her way out of the conversation as best she could. "Oh, umm… is not that interesting Airen. Don't want to bore you…" she lamely said, never having been very good at lying.

"Hey, come on!" the female chúi stated, now very interested, wondering what the other girl just so happened to be hiding. "You can tell us! Besides, it ain't like we got much else ta do here other than sit around an' talk…"

Blushing furiously, the strong Chinese warrior weighed her options carefully. '_I could just lie and say something like "adventure books" or something… But would that really be right? No… __**no**__... the stories always say, that if you want to be with someone, you have to tell the truth to them, no matter if it's embarrassing or not!__' _Taking a deep breath, she answered back, "Shampoo… Shampoo like to read love stories Airen. She know it sound stupid…"

The male Ranma grimaced internally at the mention of, what he considered a "mushy" type of book; he had enough issues with romance as is. Why would he want to read about it? …But as he heard the last of her words drift off, he couldn't help but notice the tinge of sadness and discomfort in her voice, and not wanting to leave her feeling down because of a question he and his counterpart had come up with, the black hammer tried to cheer her up. "H-hey! Don't talk like that! It ain't nothin' ta be ashamed about… I know lots a other girls read those too! I've seen Nabiki and Kasumi readin' them all the time before! And heck, I know boys like it too! Just a week ago I saw Hiroshi and Daisuke lookin' at a comic with a bunch a girls on it! And they were blushing and _real_ eager to find out what happened next! So ya see, it's not _stupid _or anything!"

The lavender haired girl smiled at this, quite expecting to hear a different sort of answer. "Really, you think so Airen?... Shampoo always told it silly- she warrior, can't get caught up with things like that, it make you look weak!" she said, paraphrasing what some of her instructors had previously told to her.

"Aw, that's a load a crap!" the female-Ranma sagely stated, using her best reasoning. "Heck, it sounds like somethin' my Pop's would come up with! And ya know that everything he says is _completely_ stupid! It don't matter what it's about as long as the story's good! And ya like em', so they have ta be!"

Shampoo thought about this for a moment, before nodding. "Girl-Ranma… girl-Ranma is right! It should no matter if others think it silly! Shampoo like it, so that's enough!" the Chinese warrior exclaimed, her confidence returning after being reassured by the two.

"So, just what the heck kinda stuff goes on in these books you have, anyway?" The black chúi further questioned. "I heard they were just filled with lovey dovey stuff… But like I said, I don't really get ta read much…"

Shampoo blinked at this, before eagerly replying, "Oh! Lots of things happen in them, Airen. And it not all just too too squishy romance, some have crazy adventures and really big mysteries in them!... Shampoo like them since forever! She still have little kids books from back when she was tiny."

"Sounds like ya have fun with them," the red weapon responded.

She nodded. "Mmm-hmm… You know Ranmas, if yous want, Shampoo could let you read some of them- " Just then, her eyes widened, as an idea burst forth from her. "Airens! Shampoo think of too too good idea! Yous know a little mandarin right? Well, Shampoo can bring old Chinese books with her on trip! They are simple and easy to read and also lots of fun!" the purple haired girl exclaimed, a happy smile beaming upon her face.

The female-Ranma's ki eyes blinked several times at this. Truth be told, she found that to actually not be too terrible of a thought. She and her counterpart could not only entertain themselves throughout the night, but also help better their language skills as well. There was just one problem though that she came up with… "That actually sounds pretty good, Shampoo… But how the heck are we supposed to turn the pages and stuff? We don't have any hands!" she astutely noted.

Shampoo's brow furrowed at this, before another light bulb went off in her head. "I knows! We go and ask Great-Grandmother! She probably have too too good way to make it work. She has all sorts of magic. Shampoo bet she have way to make it so Airen's can turn page with just their voice, or even mind!"

"Heck, are ya serious?" the black chúi inquired. "Moving things with my mind? That sounds like it's be _real_ useful, even after I turn back to human!" he exclaimed.

"Is worth shot, if nothing else," Shampoo stated, getting up from her spot. "Even if there no way to make it work, I can still show yous my book collection. Many of them are too too interesting." As she said this, the group of three made their way back inside the Café, their boredom, for the moment at least, subsided.

* * *

The following morning, near the crack of dawn, the entire ensemble (sans Mousse and Ukyo, worryingly enough, Ryoga…) were meeting up at the Cat Café to make sure everything was in order before everyone headed off together. The restaurant was abuzz, since Nodoka, Kasumi and Genma had decided to stop on by to see the group go, the former two doting over the various parting members of the group, as well as double, (or triple, or quadruple…) checking that their bags were in order. All this simply added to Cologne's grief.

Tapping her cane several times on the ground, the elderly woman tried to gain the attention of the relatively large group. "Quiet!" she exclaimed, as the rest if the party stared at her. "Yes… yes, well, thank you for all showing up today, everyone. It's good to know that the entire group seems quite coordinated, though it appears we're missing a key member, at the moment." Cologne's eyes darted over to Akane, acting as if she was somehow the bandanna wearing traveler's keeper.

The blue haired girl just merely grimaced slightly.

Before anything of real concern could come of it though, the eternally lost boy managed to wander himself through the entrance, looking slightly worn out. "Oh uh, sorry everyone. I was following Akane and I think I took a wrong turn… I'm here now though, haha!" Ryoga exclaimed, trying to shrug off his obvious impediment.

"Aw geez, are ya gonna be like that the whole trip, P-chan?" Ranma's female form stated rather insultingly. She was currently being held in the grasp of Shampoo, along with her male-twin. They were just about ready to head off. "Listen, I don't wanna spend an extra week or so like this just cause ya can't find your way out of a paper bag. Maybe puttin' ya on a leash would be a good idea."

"Hey, shut up!" the part-time pig yelped.

"Don't you insult Ryoga like that Ranma!" Akane exclaimed, an indignant look upon her face. "He's trying to help you, and yet you just go and act like a jerk to him? You've got some nerve!"

"Now Akane, I don't think it's the proper time to go off right now; you have far more important matters to take care of!" Nodoka exclaimed, taking the younger girl off guard by ushering her into a corner of the room.

Before the young Tendo could even get her bearings, she started to receive a lecture from Ranma's mother. "Now dear, I need you to do a favor for me. I know that this should come as natural, since you are his fiancée and everything, but I need you to make sure that that Shampoo girl doesn't lay her hands on him!... so to speak," the Saotome matriarch whispered rather urgently to her current ward, taking a brief moment to avert her eyes and take a look at the purple haired girl several feet or so away.

Slightly surprised at just how serious the other woman was being, Akane's expression became bemused. "Umm, Auntie, I don't think you really have anything to worry about now. Shampoo's a pervert, but she's not _that_ perverted. Besides, I bet Ranma's too busy thinking about trying to get back to normal than to try and do something stupid," the young Tendo whispered back, following the Saotome's example.

Nodoka merely shook her head. "It doesn't matter. Just being around each other is enough for the girl to try and seduce him, making him ripe for the plucking when he's back to normal! And you don't want that… _foreigner_ stealing him away from you, do you?"

"W-wait, hold on-"

But before she could reply fully, Nodoka interjected. "Good, glad to see that everything is covered. Now, a few other things…"

The Saotome matriarch went on to cover several other important topics that were of note to the blue haired girl. But, unbeknownst to her, even amid all the talk and goings on around them, Cologne still managed to hear a good chunk of the conversation through her trained ears. _'I may be old, but I'm not deaf… yet._ _But I swear, this woman is trying to drive me insane. Even when I'm __**not**__ directly talking to her! …I knew it was to be expected that she would show up to see her son off, but I still have every right to hate her for it. At least everything __**else**__ is going smoothly, at least…'_

As this was happening, Genma marched on over to the young Chinese girl wielding his two sons. "Mmm, so you're heading off then, huh boy? Now just you remember, get that damn orb! We can't have you sticking around like this for any longer. It's a disgrace to the school, and a disgrace to your family!"

"Aw cram it old man!" The black chúi exclaimed in a gruff tone. "We'll get the friggin' thing, don't you worry your dumb head about it. It'll be a piece a cake; we got plenty a good people here ta help take out anything that get's in our way!"

His female counterpart merely just snorted at her father's antics. "Gee Pops. Heck of a goin' away speech. If I could do it, I'd probably be in _tears_," she said sarcastically. "Tell me again why ain't ya comin' with us?"

Crossing his arms and grunting, the part-time panda reasoned with the weapon. "It's simple. Do you really expect that okonomiyaki chef and that duck morphing buffoon to _actually_ track down Kiima if she just so happens to still be in the country? No, of course not! That's why as soon as you head out, I'll get Soun to come along with me and stake out some key places! And you don't you back talk me! You've got more riding on this than anyone! If you don't get yourself fixed, not only will you be but a dumb hammer, but a _girl _as well! You've got to keep your head on straight!"

"Ranmas know that!" Shampoo declared, having spent the majority of the conversation standing there quietly. Frankly, she was finding it somewhat awkward. "They's got a lot to worry about. They no need Panda-man here to make things worse!"

"Hmm?" Genma said, redirecting his gaze upon the purple haired girl. "…And _you_," he articulated, pointing his index finger at her. "Just… just, keep the boy safe, all right? Don't you screw up, or I'll find you!" he exclaimed, though the slight amount of tenderness in his voice was still undeniable.

Shampoo's eyes widened a bit, before she grew serious and nodded.

Before anything else could come from the conversation though, Cologne hopped her way over to the group to interject herself into the conversation. "Shampoo dear, do you have everything you need? Did you forget something?" she asked, as she started to rummage her way through the heavy pack strapped on to the young Amazon's back, causing the slightly overwhelmed girl to stumbled a bit.

"Ah, uh- No Great-Grandmother, Shampoo got everything she need, she check twice now!" the purple haired girl exclaimed, quickly reclaiming her balance now that she was not caught off guard.

"Hey, Cologne, I gotta ask. Where the heck are Ucchan and Mousse?" the male Ranma curiously asked. "I thought they'd be here ta, ya know, say their goodbyes before we leave." He was hoping his best friend could see him off!

Finding the supplies her Great-Granddaughter had picked out acceptable, the wizened Amazon hopped down from her perch to land on the ground. "Ah yes, those two… You were busy with Shampoo at the time, but they called yesterday, Mousse specifically. Apparently the fools somehow got themselves lost in Niigata, of all places. I told them to get back here, but he simply asked that I wired them some money. The nerve of the idiot! I didn't really get enough time to ask why though. Just after he asked I started to hear police sirens and he just left me hanging!"

"W-wait, are you serious?" the crimson hammer asked. "That sounds bad! Do they need any help?"

Cologne merely shrugged him off. "Oh, don't worry about it. If they were really in trouble they would find _some _way to contact us. Besides, you have other things to deal with."

"Now hey! Don't just blow em' off like that!" The obsidian tool exclaimed vehemently. "I don't know about Mousse, but Ucchan's real nice! You better make sure she's okay!"

Thinking fast, the elderly woman simply just chuckled. "Of course, of course. I'm only just joking; they're doing fine actually. While they _are_ in Niigata, they aren't in any danger. I sent them the money they asked for as well, hehe," she said, smoothly.

The female chúi though, was still a bit on the fence. "Well… if you say so…"

"I do. Now there are a few other things that I want to cover regarding the Phoenix people…" As Cologne further discussed some of her knowledge about the tribe, and the way they live, she mentally noted to try and get into contact with the other wayward group as soon as possible. It sounded like they were running pretty fast from those alarms!

As this was happening, Kasumi was attempting to prevent the eternally lost boy from living up to his namesake, keeping him preoccupied with casual conversation and some light reassurances. "Oh, I'm sure everything is going to work out just perfectly for all of you. You're all such skilled martial artists! If anything get's in you're way, you'll be able to defend yourselves quite easily," she stated, quickly snatching away a bit of lint that was lying on the boy's shoulder.

"Aw, I know. Stupid Ranma just likes to egg me on, that's all…" he said, indicating towards to the two hammers. "Doesn't matter if it's while he's a boy, a girl, or… whatever the hell those things are. I'm not gonna let it get to me."

"That's good… it's _also_ good that your little issue with getting around seems to have gotten a bit better. Ranma used to always tell me that you had trouble with certain things like that," Kasumi said, an unsure tone in her voice.

Ryoga merely just shrugged her off. "Eh, just more a Ranma being an idiot. I can get around just fine! Just a few days ago, I walked all the way from Brazil to France! I bought some bread while I was there… ate it all though," the bandanna wearing boy said, placing his hands on his hips and nodding finitely.

"Uh-huh… I see… Well, you know…"

From there the group continued on with their idle conversations and various forms of advice. It was at a little past seven o' clock in the morning though, when the group decided to shuffle on outside to give their well-wishes and final goodbye before the lot of them headed off on their way.

Standing at the entrance of the Cat Café, the entire ensemble looked across at the departing members as the early morning sun stood brightly overhead, mixing counter-intuitively with the chill that permeated the start of the day. With everything set and ready, Cologne began her final speech to her young wards.

"The trip ahead of you may well be dangerous, you're heading into the very heart of a tribe who has previously not only instigated you, but have in the past out and out tried to kill you all. But with your goal set in mind, and your wills strong as steel, nothing will stand in your path. We all have our reasonings for going or not. But I would like to make it clear, here and now, that you are all in our hearts and minds. And if that does not in any way raise your spirits, then let it comfort you to know that there are other people, out afar doing their best to assist you in their own means. Still then, I know that you will persevere through this, and not only revert Ranma Saotome back to human, but return the orb of transmutation to its rightful owners! That, I can be assured!" Cologne passionately lectured, harkening back to her days of yore when she had to rally troops into battle. '_Hehe, if that doesn't get you ready for war, I don't know what will!'_

"Ha! Pretty good speech ya got there, Granny," the red chúi stated. "A _little_ too heavy on the mellow drama though."

"Ranma!-"

But before Akane could finish her scolding, she was interjected by Nodoka. "Oh, goodbye son, have a safe trip! I'm sure you'll get everything that you need to turn back to a healthy human again!" the Saotome matriarch exclaimed, waving her hands at him.

"Eh, we'll get everything done; it'll be a piece of cake!" Ryoga exclaimed, standing next to Akane, trying to look cool.

"Whatever you do, just make sure that you have fun!" Kasumi exclaimed, still having relatively no clue what was going on. Regardless, she had more important things to do. When she got home, she had to color match all the socks in the house and make sure that there were exactly a hundred and forty-seven edible grapes in the kitchen at any one moment!

"Yeah boy, well, I've already said this before, but just make sure that you get everything sorted, okay?" Genma lectured gruffly, crossing his arms. "I don't want to have to bail you outta this any more than I already have!"

The Ranma's merely rolled their ki eyes.

Cologne, once again though, decided to step up to the plate. "Yes, well, I've little left to say after that tirade. Simply this: good luck."

Finally, a certain purple haired girl decided to add her two cents into the bit. "Airens, Shampoo know everyone been saying this before, but Shampoo _promise _you, we get you back to normal no matter what! She will _not_ let you get stuck this ways, it not right!"

Both Ranmas started chucking at that moment, with the black hammer interjecting. "Aw, thanks, but come on! We're burnin' daylight just standing around here! Let's get a move on!"

At these words, the group took off, ready to face just about any challenge that they could come across. They would head for the coast, and from there, take a boat on over to China. After that, their target was simple: Mount Phoenix.

* * *

A distance away, high up above, standing tall on the rooftops, two shadowy figures conversed with each other.

"Is the whole thing set, all our plans in order?" one asked to the other.

"Yes, all's going accordingly," the latter of the two replied. "There should be nothing to worry about, at the moment at least."

"Good. No matter what, we can't screw things up. A lot is hinging on this, maybe everything," the first of the two said.

"Don't worry; I know the stakes we're dealing with," the second answered back.

"So then?-"

"Yes, the next phase is about to begin."


	9. Stops, ships, and close shaves! Part 1

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own the rights to the works of Rumiko Takahashi, I am simply writing this for my sheer enjoyment.

* * *

Several hours had past since the group had made their overtly dramatic exit from Nerima and began on their journey towards Mount Phoenix. Currently, they were heading westward, off to the coast, where a small ship had been arranged to take them to China. Unfortunately for them though, they had come across several small snags along the way. Twice now Ryoga had managed to wander away from everyone for some odd reason or another, taking them off the beaten path that they had planned to travel, and ironically enough, causing they themselves to become lost. After several hours of running about, searching, and map double checking though, the group was for the most part quite tuckered, causing the lot to start dragging their heels. This fact though was in no way pleasing a certain few.

"Hey, what's the hold up fellas? We gotta mosey!" A particular black chúi explained from within Shampoo's grasp. He was growing quite bored from watching the dull cityscape pass him by. "We've movin' like a couple a snails here, and we have places ta be!" Before, he had plenty of other things on his mind that could preoccupy him, but now that matters seemed relatively set in stone, the whole waiting game they were playing was really starting to get on his nerves. '_Just hanging out like this is almost as bad as having to stay up all night! I don't think I can take much more! I __**really**__ don't wanna miss that damn boat! If we do, we'll be screwed!'_

In response, a certain lavender haired girl looked tiredly down at him, a worried frown upon her face. "…I's sorry Airen. Great-Grandmother said boat no supposed to be here until 4 o' clock, but we make sure we make it on time," she replied with a sigh, wiping some of the sweat on her brow. "We's just need to rest for _little_ bit, no want anyone to pass out half way there! I know you anxious though," it was already a little past noon, and the group was only half way through Nagano. Given though that their destination was a small port in Toyama, they really needed to speed up the pace. '_Stupid Japan with its stupid cities. They're all just a bunch of mazes! This is just like when I was chasing Airen around the __**first**__ time around!' _

Akane throughout this was thoroughly grinding her teeth, having been growing more and more annoyed from all the happenings around her. "_Well,_ we wouldn't be so behind if _you _Shampoo didn't have to stop and look at the map every five seconds! I swear this is getting ridiculous!" the Tendo heir yelled, momentarily turning to glare at the violet haired girl before quickly glancing back at Ryoga, making sure to keep watch of him. _That_ was another problem they were having.

The young Amazon though just growled. "Is not _my_ fault! If pervert-girl want to lead so bad she can! I no complain!" Shampoo's usually bubbly attitude popped momentarily due to the strain of dealing with myriad of annoyed people.

Akane flinched a bit at the abrupt outburst. She quickly realized that maybe she wasn't just the only one having issues here at the moment. "Oh, ah, sorry… I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night," she responded meekly, not wanting to set the other girl off any further. "I got up in the middle of the night just to get ready for this thing," she added, rubbing her temples. "You- you're the one who knows where the port is, I'm sure you can lead just fine." She knew regardless of whom was right, getting mad at the Amazonian girl was never really the _smartest_ thing one could do, especially if she was in a mood. It was odd, she contemplated, ever since she discovered that energy attack of hers, keeping control of her anger had become slightly easier.

As she was contemplating this, Akane still managed to still keep a keen eye on Ryoga, not wanting a repeat of today's past events. She noticed though, taking a glance at his face, that the boy's brow was furrowed slightly. "Hey Ryoga, is something the matter? You look frustrated," she asked, wondering internally if she had somehow angered _him_ as well.

The part-time pig quickly snapped out of it and turned his head to look down at the girl. "Oh, uh, haha, don't worry about it Akane! I'm just- I'm just trying to make sure I keep where we're going without losing track of myself. I… I know I've been kind of a problem today," he said, awkwardly grinning at her. "I don't mean to be getting lost so much! It just sort of happens! I'm just trying to stay focused; I know we still have a ways to go!"

Ranma's female form though simply rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you're damn right we got a long ways left! We can't have ya stroll off like that every five minutes, pig-for-brains! It'll make all of us go bonkers!" she yelped in an overly mocking tone, before a thought popped into her head. "…Actually, whose bright idea was it ta _walk_ all the way to the port anyway? We could a taken the train or somethin'! _Then_ we wouldn't have had to put up with pig-butt's problem until China!"

Trying to appease the two once more, and keep her sanity in check, Shampoo explained. "Great-Grandmother say that no good idea, Ranmas. She tell me they no allow you to bring weapons on board things like train! We have to hide you in bag or somethings if we wanted to go on. And Shampoo no do that to Airen, it not right!" the Chinese martial artist answered, nodding her head sagely.

Ranma's male form just snorted. "Eh, I've been in tighter spots before. I still remember the time _Akane_ tied me up and stuffed me in the closest during the whole moxi_bustion_ fiasco! Stickin' it out in a bag would a been no sweat!"

"Hey! That was for your own good you know it! You would have gotten hurt if I didn't do it!" Akane yelled back, as the calm she had been feeling drained out of her.

Ryoga countered back with his own insult. "Ha! Wellyou're one to talk, _Ranma_! If just going by what Shampoo said, it looks like _you're_ why we have to hoof it to the place!" the lost boy uttered, crossing his arms in triumph. "Guess I'm not the source of _all_ our problems. Next time, actually try and think before you ask stupid questions,"

"Hey! Cram it pig-breath! It ain't _my_ fault that I got stuck like this! Don't ya have any compassion in ya?" the female Ranma glared daggers at the bandanna-boy, before a question hit her. "Hey… Wai-wait! Hold the phone a minute! If they don't let weapons and stuff on trains, then they sure as _heck _ain't gonna allow us on a _boat_ while we're like this! What're we gonna do?" the red chúi asked in a rather panicked voice; her eyes looking pleadingly at the lavender haired girl.

Shampoo blinked several times, before she started to smile with genuine reassurance. She definitely knew the answer to _this_ question. "Oh! Ranmas no need worry about _that_! Great-Grandmother set up deal with same people who take Shampoo to Japan first time!" she nodding. "Mmm-hmm, They _real_ nice persons. They call themselves… try adds… or somethings? It no matter, they don't care if you bring swords, knives, or anythings with you, they too too good guys!"

Taking the words at face value, the male-chúi answered back. "Yeah, well, let's _hope_ so. We've got enough problems as is. Don't want ta make matters any worse."

"Let's just try and stay positive that things will go smoothly once we get to China. Who knows? This _could_ be all just one big misunderstanding that we'll all laugh off," Akane stated, trying to look on the bright side of things.

The red chúi just snorted. "Laugh off? Let me tell ya, there ain't many chuckles that you can get outta bein' an inanimate thingamawhatsit! Besides, knowing _our_ luck there's no way it'll turn out _that_ easy! If even just a lick of what pig-breath said was true about Kiima, then she ain't here to play games. We gotta go in prepared fer the worst a tha worst!"

"What? You think _anything_ Ryoga said in that little story of his was true at all?" Ranma's male form gawked, egging on the Hibiki boy further. "Heh, geez, for all we _really_ know, those bird people could'a turned into magical fairies who want ta give everyone candy! Don't count anything out yet!"

The blue haired girl butted in though, not liking Ranmas near constant taunting. "Hey! You can't just insult Ryoga like that! You're lucky that he's even here to help you while you're stuck like this! He's a _true_ friend! Isn't that right Ryo-" But before Akane could finish her sentence, realization struck her hard as well as the others. The group was currently one party member short!

"Where bandanna-person go? He was just here second ago!" Shampoo questioned, frantically twisting and turning her head, trying to see where he headed off to.

"Aww geez, it happened _again_! I thought you were watchin' over him this time Akane?" the red hammer asked.

"I- I was! I just looked away for a second. This shouldn't have… _Ooh_, we've got to find him!"

"Hey, you know what? Why don't we just forget the idiot?" the black chúi asked with annoyance clear in his voice. "He's more trouble than he's worth! Besides, the guy's probably ended up in Ecuador or somethin' by now!"

"You total _jerk_! We can't just give up like _that_! He's probably still around… somewhere. We just have to look for him!" Akane replied, as she scanned the horizon for the currently lost, lost boy.

"Yeah, well, we better do it quick. That boat ain't gonna be there forever, and we got places that we need ta be!"

From there, the determined teens quickly set off to try and find the missing meanderer as fast as possible. Scanning the complex industrial area they were in though proved to be a lot more trouble than they would have liked it to have been, with sprawling signs, empty alleyways and pushy pedestrians getting in the way and making the task quite a chore. Luckily though, their hunt didn't last too long as mere minutes later they came across the Hibiki boy for some reason standing in a back alley with several "friends" nearby.

As the group finally caught up with him, they could only look on in bewilderment as they took in the odd sight of the bandanna wearing martial artist fending off a child from a group of thugs. "Hey Ryoga, what the hell's going on, man?" the black chúi questioned with trepidation, speaking what was currently on everyone's minds.

But before anyone could get a clear and concise answer, the wayward warrior had other things on his mind. "I _won't_ let you hurt this innocent!" the black haired brawler bellowed in an obnoxiously heroic tone, bringing attention to the small girl standing at his side. She was a tiny little thing, no less than five, no older than seven, wearing a sky blue dress that accentuated her blonde hair. She would have easily been classified as "adorable" had it not been for the tears streaming down her face at the moment.

"Hehe, come on there kid, give little 'doll face' over there back ta us!" A blue masked wearing bandit exclaimed, one of a group of six. "We're gonna ransom er' off to her rich parents, and make a bucket load!"

Said crook though was quickly smacked upside the head. "Don't tell'em the plan, ya bozo! It ain't good fer business!" a different thug exclaimed, this one also wearing a mask, though looking a tad more expensive and well-made than the rest of the lot, possibly indicating that he held some form of authority. "'Sides, if you _don't_ hand over da brat, we'll beat ya so bad that it won't matta! By the end ya won't even remember yer Momma's name!"

To better understand the scene before everyone, and explain just who these gruff fellows were, one would have to gather a bit of info on the leader of the lot; one Yuzuki Yamamoto. This fine upstanding individual, at a young age, grew infatuated with Americana styled gangsters, after watching and reading about them in various films and books.

His obsession worked against him for the most part though. Having spent the majority of his days pining over "hits" and "scores", Yuzuki's grades were never that good. And this, along with his aggressive tendencies, made things even more constrained for him and his parents. The straw broke though when he was finally kicked out of his prestigious private academy that his mother and father paid good money to let him get into. This in turn shocked and appalled his parents, and due to the high values of honor placed on education in Japan, they had to do the only "correct" thing in their minds: disown him.

Thrown out with nothing but a backpack to his name, Yuzuki in all honesty couldn't have been any happier about the situation. Finally he could go about and start living his dream: to join the Yakuza.

But being at the time only sixteen, Yuzuki was completely _laughed_ at for his attempts to become part of the syndicate. He barely made it out of there alive, but not before forgetting to take his pride with him. From there, things just spiraled out progressively worse for him. It didn't matter _what_ group he tried to become a part of. Through some varying forms of mishaps, he managed to always get himself shunned.

With no money in his pockets, and no family name to go by, Yuzuki wandered about like a ronin. In an attempt to make funds though, he found himself still drawn to the shadier parts of the cities he traveled in, and it ended up that most of the time, he would purposely get into scuffles that would put his strength _and _wits to the test! From the simplest thing as just stealing from those that he beat, to getting paid from the various spectators who watched him, Yuzuki not only earned a living, but became strong doing so.

Never letting his dream die though, he himself created his own "organized" crime gang. Made up of members who simply "weren't good enough" for the more regal groups, they started to perform their own little misdeeds. Today though was especially special as they were finally going to hit it big! _Today_ they were going to kidnap Kiku Kudo, daughter of the wealthy Kudo family of Nagano, and sell her back to her parents for a fat load of dough!

And it was all going to work out perfectly! After an ingenious plan involving a brick through the window and a potato sack, they took her back to their hideout. But during their initial celebration, the little "brat" managed to break out of her ropes and made a run for it. After practically an entire morning of searching they had finally cornered her, but an annoying bandanna wearing individual was currently standing in their path.

"Umm, Pig-person, what is you doing here?" the perplexed purple haired girl asked, still standing at the alleyway entrance, extremely confused and befuddled at the picture that was being displayed out in front of her. "Why you leave us behind? Is very rude! We have place to be!"

The young Hibiki turned to look at his companions before him, (finally taking notice of them) and then quickly shifted his gaze back to the kidnappers. "While you all were bickering back there, I couldn't help but hear the screams that _this_ little girl was making!" He pointed at the child who was huddling back behind him, scared out of her wits. "She must have been running from these people-" he pointed to the apparent criminals, "but was about to get caught. So naturally, I, performing my martial artist's duty, came to help!"

Akane clasped her hands together and let out a girlish squeal. "Oh Ryoga, that's _so_ cool! You're such a hero!" stars were practically in her eyes.

The red chúi though, simply let out a snort as a she replied, "What? Are ya tryin' to be Mister 'knight in shining armor' now, or somethin'? First the whole Kiima bologna, and now this? You're really startin' ta lay it on thick, pal."

"Huh? Wazzat? A couple a more puny punks that we're gonna have to pulverize inta a pulp? Alright, just _who _was the wise guy that tipped these brats off?" Yuzuki, demanded; he had just now noticed that impromptu arrival of Shampoo and company and was not pleased.

"Oi uh, it wadent me boss! I ain't have nothin' ta do with nothin'! Cross ma heart!" Exclaimed _another_ one of the thugs, this particular one going by the name "Chuzzley" for some odd reason or another. He had an appearance much stringier than the rest and his movements as well looking a fair bit more "bumbling".

Yuzuki though, wasn't having _any_ of that though and chose merely to smack the back of his oddly speaking underling's skull. "Why _you_… I already _know_ that, ya peanut-brained pencil-neck!" he growled, shaking his fists. "Heck, you're too stupid ta tell up from left! Even da _idea_ that you could rat us out is enough ta kill brain cells!"

"Aww geez boss…and ya sure don't got too many a those ta spread around! I'm sorry…" Chuzzley apologized, his apparent insult infuriating Yuzuki to the point of his face becoming red.

Off back at the alleyway entrance, the four newly arrived individuals could only stare off, unsure of how to react to what they were seeing.

"Okay, _really_, just what the hell is going on here?" the black chúi asked, his eyes squinting a bit as he tried to contemplate what he was seeing.

"I… I no knows Airen…" the lavender haired girl mumbled, genuinely confused at the image she was witnessing. "Shampoo _think _they want to take that little blonde-lady away, but Shampoo also think they really really dumb…"

"Should- should we be, ya know, fightin' em'?" Ranma's female form asked.

But before anyone could answer back properly to the proposition, another non-consequential crook butted in. "Hey, uh, is that hamma, ya know, talkin'?"

The "boss" though, overdramatically slammed his palm to his face. "Oh criminy! First da kid escapes and now my own men are hallucinatin'! This is all I need!" he bemoaned himself. "Now listen ya dummies; let's just get dis ova' with as quickly as we possibly can! I want at least _somethin'_ ta go right with us fer once!"

With that, Yuzuki's fellow gangsters charged, heading straight for the two girls standing right in front of them. The leader himself took the position of staying back, momentarily watching Ryoga and waiting for the right time to strike without damaging "the goods". The rest figured it would be easier to pick the confused newcomers off, rather than the one that seemed prepared.

It was well known though, that they weren't exactly the _smartest_ of people.

And sadly for them though, they chose the wrong group of persons to mess with! Not missing a single beat, both Shampoo and Akane took up a defensive stance, ready to counter any sort of volatile assaults that would come their way.

'_I don't know about these people… Even though they look __**pretty**__ weak, Great-Grandmother always told me to never judge a book by its cover. They might just turn out to be really strong! Who knows what they can do?_' Shampoo internally monologued, as she readied the two Ranmas for anything that they may throw at her.

"Ehehe, we're gonna pound'ja good! Oh ah whoop!-" Was the statement made by one of the underlings while charging forth. Sadly though, due to the fact that they _were_ standing in an alleyway, their movements were quite impeded and constrained, and as a pack of four of them erupted at the blue and purple haired girls, their environment proved to be their folly.

In essence they just tripped over themselves like a bunch of mono-brain-celled numbskulls.

Akane's left eye twitched as she saw the lot take a turbulent tumble to the ground, with the only remaining threat faltering back a bit, finding himself flinching, not able to believe the odds or the stupidity.

"Oh come on you people! We haven't even _done _anything yet!" Akane growled, clearly unimpressed at the display she just witnessed. Not missing a beat, the youngest Tendo girl took initiative, quickly stepping forward and abusively smashing the remaining assailant's face into the wall. "We _really _don't have time for this… Shampoo, could you get the others?"

Brightening up a bit, and coming out of the stupor she was put in, the purple haired girl responded with simply, "Okay's!" before stamping upon the trio below her with her feet, pounding their lights out for the count.

"Uh oh Boss, wadda we gonna do?" the bumbling Chuzzley asked, having stayed back waiting to double-team Ryoga with Yuzuki. "Dey got us out numbuhed seven ta four!"

Suavely, and with full righteous determination, Ryoga butted in. "You're going to let the girl go and turn yourself in to the authorities!" he demanded, once again going into his unusually gallant bravado as of recent.

"Ah, damn it pig-breath, would ya quit with this shtick that you've been doin' already? You're startin' ta sound like a _Kuno_! Besides, we gotta get goin' to Toyama soon! We don't wanna have the ship leave without us!" The red hammer quickly reminded him.

"Well excuse _me_ Ranma, for wanting to prevent someone from being kidnapped! _You're_ saying we should just ignore things and move on?" the bandanna wearing individual asked, a slightly superior tone in his voice.

"Hey that ain't… I mean, oh aww geez!" the male chúi continued on where his counterpart left off. "Shampoo, can we just beat up these people already and get things going? We've got places to be!"

The purple haired girl meanwhile was using her drilled in Amazonian combat training to absently make sure that none of the three that charged after them would be getting up for the time being. But once hearing Ranma's request, she perked up. "Okay's Airen, we get this over with now. Shampoo is starting to get _bored_!"

As the Chinese warrior took several steps forward, along with Akane and Ryoga, (who double checked to make sure that the girl he was protecting wouldn't be nabbed behind his back.) they prepared to pound out the lights of the remaining two crooks and settle this odd bump in the road finally.

Yuzuki though, despite his gruff demeanor, and quite terrible luck, was at least a reasonable man. And as such, knew when a tactical retreat would be required. Taking one last look at the prize he was about to lose, he grabbed his remaining companion and uttered the following. "I think it's time that we skedaddle outta dis joint for a little while! Ya kids got lucky dis time, but we'll be back for ya's!" And before anyone could make a move, the yakuza wannabe used his surprising strength to leap upwards, jutting himself and Chuzzeley far into the air and above any sort of walls that could impede their path; making their ultimate escape.

Blinking a few times, Akane's mouth fell slightly agape before she responded in a rather deadpan voice, "Well, I didn't expect that to happen."

"Shampoo no expect any of this…"

"Well, regardless, thank you everyone for assisting me in making sure those crooks didn't get away with anything! Haha!" the bandanna wearing Hibiki boy exclaimed; bravado filling his voice.

"Oh, it's no problem Ryoga," Akane replied, once again returning to her bubbly tone of voice when speaking to the lost boy. "It's so nice of you to want to help people like this!"

"Help? What the heck are you goin' on about, pig-brain?" the crimson chúi demanded; an indignant tone about her. "You didn't do anythin' at all besides just stand there! It was Shampoo and Akane that did all the work!"

"Oh, now don't get into this! You're just annoyed that Ryoga stopped those guys before you could!"

"Akane is too too weird," Shampoo stated, trying to divert some of the flack Ranma was getting on to her. "Why you act as if umbrella-boy perfect person? It remind me of Mousse."

As the four absently bickered back and forth on inane subject matters, the eternally lost boy turned his attention on to the ward that he was protecting; trying to make sure she wasn't too terribly shocked about everything going on. "So… what's your name, uh, little girl?" he asked, not actually knowing it.

"Umm, it's Kiku, Mister!" the blonde haired lass stated who up until then had been hiding herself behind the umbrella wielding warrior and was just now coming out after the coast was cleared.

"Ooh, good, good, Kiku… Umm, don't you worry, those guys aren't gonna bother you anymore, okay?" the Hibiki boy awkwardly reassured.

From there he continued on, asking her several additional questions: if she was alright, who her parents were, where she lived and generally how everything happened up to this point. The other listened in when she got to the part of how she got kidnapped. It apparently happened just the previous night.

"Well wait, hold on! That was _stupid_! How the heck did those crooks even pull somethin' like that off? Weren't your parents there?" the male mallet questioned with genuine concern in his voice.

Kiku though just stared as the hammer-like object in front of her spoke, confusion filling her face until, as if the wheels started churning her head, she yelped back! "Ahh! Evil-toy-monster-man!" she screamed, as she once again huddled around Ryoga's leg, a renewed fear inside of her.

"Hey! I ain't no monster, I'm a human!..." The male chúi stopped to consider his words. "Well, I mean, not right now, _really_, but I'm not some frea!- err, I guess you could… Ah I ain't evil or nothin'! So don't worry!" he angrily yelled back, but this in turn just made the recently rescued girl flinch back even further in fear at the talking object.

Akane interjected to scold the talking chúi. "Ranma you idiot, you're scaring her! You gotta remember that some people aren't used to stuff like this."

Ranma's female form just grunted in distaste. "Ah geez, so not only can't I walk or move, but I actually scare the wits outta kids? I swear… What're we gonna do now anyway? I said it before, but we got places ta be! We're really gonna have to put the pedal to the metal if we wanna get to the boat in time!"

Ryoga merely looked across at the group. "We should take the girl to the cops or her parents or something. It's the right thing to do."

Shampoo quickly cut in, not liking Ryoga's words. "Pig-person is stupid! We miss ship if we go to police! Besides, Great-Grandmother warn Shampoo, she say they ask too too many questions about things! Copper-people is no good!" the purple haired girl exclaimed, her brow furrowed. She remembered the time when Cologne had to talk her way out of an incident when she burst through a customer's door while making a delivery. After that, the: "Be there in thirty minutes or it's free" offer was rescinded by the Café.

Akane though went to the lost boy's defense. "She's just a kid! We can't just tell her to walk home by herself! It's not right, especially after being kidnapped. We can always make another ship."

Shampoo just scowled as she heard the Tendo's attempt at reasoning. "Is not true! Boat set up for very special occasion! People's taking us be very mad if we no show up! Besides, Shampoo _promise_ Airen! We get him back to _normal_!"

'_It'll take who knows __**how long**__ to get to Mount Phoenix at this rate. And we've __already__ wasted a week! Great-Grandmother warned me that Airen can't regenerate ki while in this state. She said that he'll run dry in a month after the transformation! Making our way through Japan was supposed to be the easy part, but so far it's been nothing but trouble! We can't have anymore delays! I don't want either of them to get hurt!__'_

As the group continued on bickering, they grew more and more unsure of _just_ what to do with the child. This would have regretfully continued on for an additional extended period of time, if it wasn't for the noise of a roaring engine coming to a halt; causing the group to cease in their arguing.

As the lot stared on in mild bemusement, a woman slowly picked herself out of an expensive looking limousine. Blonde hair adorned the top of her head, done up in a "beehive" style that made her look a tad absurd. Adding to the perplexity, a slightly snug dark blue evening gown covered the rest of her slightly overweight figure. She looked to be roughly in her early forties but the heavy amount of makeup she was wearing hid the fact well. It was clear though, from all the jewelry she was wearing, that she was quite well off financially.

She simply just stood there for a moment, focusing her eyes around before they narrowed on to the child hiding behind Ryoga. "Kiku! Oh my precious little baby, I found you!" she yelled, rushing over past the teens, her arms wide open. (All the while making sure to not stumble over the still conked out crooks on the pavement)

Said "Kiku's" eyes brightened up at this, as she swiftly let go of the bandanna wearing warrior and ran over to the other woman, a huge smile on her face. "Mommy!" she cried as the two embraced in a hug.

"Oh, well, that's improbably convenient." Akane murmured, clasping her hands together as it seemed as though all of the momentary problems had been fixed for them.

Ryoga though, was not quite as sure. "Umm, hold on, excuse me Miss? Just who are you?" he asked, taking a slow step forward, ready to act at a moment's notice.

The apparent mother of the kidnapped girl's eye's widened, as she just now noticed the (from her perspective) three other youths standing in her general vicinity. Still holding on to her child, she grew a bit more formal. "Oh, please excuse me! My name is Kaoru Kudo. I'm Kiku's mother. I've been looking for her all night. I was so worried… May I ask who you all might be?"

Before either of the five could respond though, the junior Kudo quickly interjected in a happy, bubbly tone. "That man and his friends saved me from the bad people Mommy. That man right there!" she uttered, twisting herself around in Kaoru's arms to gesticulate at Ryoga.

The woman's eyes lit up at this and she turned her gaze over to the eternally lost boy. "Oh my, is what my daughter telling me true? You stopped those horrid people who took my precious little Kiku away?" she asked with a sense of wonderment in her voice.

Ryoga sniffed and puffed up his chest as the praise swept over him. "Oh, hehe, it was nothing Ma'am! Just doing what any normal person would in this situation. I heard her yelling and I ran to help! A few of the guys got away though. But those three didn't," he stated, pointing to the remaining thugs.

The black chúi just rolled his ki eyes. "Yeah, it sure _was_ nothin'!. Standin' around really makes ya the hero of the day, don't it?" he snarkily said, annoyed that the part-time pig was soaking up all the credit. "_Whatever_, we got places ta be damn it! We don't have time ta play 'Captain Cape and friends!'"

Kaoru did a double-take when she saw what appeared to be a hammer somehow able to talk. "Oh, my! Just what exactly are _you_ supposed to be?" She indicated at Ranma, taking a small step forward.

Kiku though, quickly replied, "It's a big evil monster Mommy! It's gonna kill us!" She yelped, a serious tone in her voice.

"I keep tellin' ya kid! I ain't no monster!" Ranma's female form reiterated.

"Oh, there are two of you now?" the rich Kudo woman asked.

Shampoo tried to hurry things along. "Is very long story…We no really have time to explain things too much!"

"You can just think a me as your friendly neighborhood talking hammer that's here to kick the bad guy's collective butts, alright?" the black tool stated, in a rather deadpan voice.

Before anymore questions could be asked, Akane smartly tried to change the subject to something that had been on her mind. "Umm, Mrs. Kudo, I was wondering, how exactly were you able to find us like this? You just sort of rolled up out of the blue like that…"

Kaoru simply just blinked, before turning to the blue haired girl and laughed. "Oh! Well you see, I placed a tracking chip in the back of my daughter's neck incase something happened to her. She's dreadfully incompetent."

"I like dancing, and my family, and hugs!" Kiku remarked.

The group abstained in silence for a short period of time, before the black hammer decidedly broke it. "Welp, okay folks, that pretty much wraps everythin' up! Lady, you should probably call the cops or somethin', if for nothin' else other than ta get those scumbags-" he pointed his pretend peepers over to the groaning and moaning punks on the ground, "locked up for at least a little while. You don't want'em havin' a repeat performance a what happened today. But hey, we gotta get a move on! Our boat leaves in…" he blinked, stopping his tirade. "I don't know when! What's the time?"

Akane in turn checked her watch. "Umm, guys? It's seven to one…" she stated, eyes panning over the rest of the ensemble.

The red chúi gasped at this revelation. "Ah cripes! The ship leaves in like, three hours! We gotta mosey! Shampoo, step on it!"

Just before the purple haired Amazon could set the record for shortest cross-country dash through central Japan ever witnessed, the well-to-do Kudo woman jumped in. "Ah, excuse me, do you all need a ride somewhere? I can assuredly assist you on that if so. It'd be the least I could do for you all helping rescue my daughter."

Ryoga though, widened his eyes, and started waving his arms in a discouraging gesture. "Oh no, no, you're thanks is enough. I'm sure if we hurry we can still make it right on time! You don't owe us anything at all."

"Oh you God damn bet she _does_! We don't have time ta be selfless!" Ranma's male form uttered, turning his ki eyes over to the older woman. "Lady, whatever ride you can give, we'll take it!"

Mrs. Kudo simply just smiled. "Ah marvelous!" she responded, clasping her hands. "Where exactly though do you need to get to?"

Akane swiftly answered. "Toyama, by the bay… we need to catch a boat."

The middle-aged woman just nodded. "Ah yes, of course. That should be fine, just tell my driver where you need to go. I'll call another car for myself; it shouldn't be too much of an inconvenience. I have plenty of extra help working about."

Ranma's female form brightened up considerably after hearing this. "Heh, well at least something's looking up for us for once with us. Maybe you runnin' into those punks back there wasn't such a bad thing after all, don't ya think, P-chan?"

The eternally lost boy's brow furrowed, ever so slightly. "Yeah…"

As the group prepared to take off on their way to Toyama, things for once seemed to actually be going their way; with them now finally being able to rest for a moment or two before heading across the sea for the second half of their journey. Whether or not this tentative spot of luck would last though, was up for question.

* * *

In a rundown hole in the wall diner, somewhere in one of the more sleazy parts of Nagano, two tired and weary teenagers sat, trying to recoup from various mishaps that had been put in their path as of late. What should have been just a daylong trip to another district for Mousse and Ukyo, had turned into a series of trial and tribulations that had pushed them all across central Japan and around again. Their running and constant troublemaking continuously pushed their so wanted return to Nerima back on their schedule. Often time's things like them checking "one last place" (usually by Ukyo's request) would in turn become a harrowing tale of near fatal escape and the committing of actions that were of questionable legality. And so, there they sat, sipping on some free water and trying to plan out their next move.

"What the hell are we even doing?" Asked Ukyo, her forearms placed on the table, holding her head as her fingers ran through her hair.

Mousse simply just took another drink out of the glass before him, and gave the girl an icy glare. "You tell me. _You're_ the one who keeps on making our lives miserable. Honestly! What kind of _stupid_ idea is checking out an _art_ museum? Why the hell would Kiima be there?" he demanded, his cold visage shattering before it could even really be established.

Ukyo raised her head, her face rather distraught as her voice went up an octave. "It made sense at the time! They were doing that whole display on 'rising from the ashes'! I mean, phoenixes? Ashes? It sounded like the perfect kind of place that they'd want to check out!" Her appearance though quickly changed, as anger filled her. "And hey, don't blame _me_ for what happened there, _honey_! If your knife thing hadn't scratched that painting we would have been outta the place in twenty minutes! But no!" Her arms started to flail wildly. "We had to spend the next _five hours_ dodging the police! I barely got any shuteye last night wondering if they were gonna nab us!... Oh yeah, did I mention that I just _loved_ sleeping out of that box yet?"

"_No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me…" _Mousse mumbled under his breath. "Listen, I'm sorry for that thing at the museum. My arm just sort of slipped! I- _we_ both haven't gotten a proper night's rest in like, half a week. At least- at least I don't think they got a good look at our faces. You put together that 'guy' costume of yours faster than I could count to three," he remarked, trying to look at the upside of the issue. "And hell, I don't even look like myself right now anyway. I haven't shaved since we left Nerima," the Chinese martial artist stated, rubbing his hands over his growing facial hair.

"Well, I guess that's one good thing to come out of this. But no offense sugar, you need a trim. That fuzz on your face _really_ doesn't suit you," the okonomiyaki chef drolly murmured, fingering a small packet on the table to ease the tension, before her eyes lit up. "Oh, hey. Free crème." she casually stated, unremarkably ripping the tiny condiment container open and going to town on it with her tongue, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Mousse simply stared, a bewildered expression on his face, before he cracked out into, when put lightly, a delightful revelry. "Ha!- Haha!- Hahah! Oh- oh God, we _really_ need to get some money for some food going here. Hehe- haha!"

Ukyo though was _not_ amused, and gave him an indignant look. "Hey! You can laugh, but you gotta take what you can get! Back when I was on the road, I'd sometimes run low on supplies and have to forage all around for stuff!" she huffed, nodding her head sagely. "Let me tell you something, honey. There's a gold mine of food waiting to be found around if you're just willing to give a look!" '_And your dignity…'_

"Yeah, yeah I know. ha, it's just- it's just they didn't exactly show us _that_ in basic survival training at the village." Mousse rebutted, actually finally having his first, _real_ laugh in what seemed like months.

The bandolier brandishing girl simply looked away. "Yeah, well, _whatever_. At least I'm actually _trying_ to be proactive. I already asked once, but _what are we even doing_? We're just sitting around here," she questioned, an extra bit of urgency added to her voice.

The robe wearing warrior calmed down exponentially after hearing this and let out a cough. "Yes, well, I think at this point we don't have much a choice, do we? We're at wits end. We simply _need_ to go back to Nerima. Once we're done resting here, we can probably make it there by nightfall or so," he said, pounding his fist into his hand. "That is if we don't want to stress it. We _could_ probably be back sooner if we just bolt for it… But after everything we've been though, I think taking it easy would well, be for the best." He was attempting to reason in an astute manner. He was finally happy that this nightmare was about to come to a close. '_I swear, once I get back to Nerima, I'm going to give that old ghoul a __**real**__ talking to. I don't care __**how**__ many bops on the head I get! If she wants me to continue this charade, I at least want to do it with a hotel room to fall back on!'_

Ukyo though, scrunched her face a bit. "Umm, actually honey, I was thinking… there _are_ a few other places left that we _could _check out. I mean, if we're just going to leave again in a few days anyway…"

Mousse simply just stared, flabbergasted, his mouth agape. "No… un- unbelievable! You- you after- after _everything_ we've put up with, you're asking for more?" he scoffed, raising his arms in a denying fashion. "Okay- okay, I- I seriously need to ask you this. Are you a masochist? Honestly, tell me, _please_. I just need to know. Because there is no _sane _person out there who would be willing to do all this for _Ranma Saotome_ of all people! There has to be another reason!"

Ukyo's face turned red as she barked back indignantly. "You don't understand! Rachan… he's the best! He's been my friend for years! And I spent _so long_ hating him for no reason… I've got to- I've just got to make it up to him somehow! It's the right thing to do!"

Mousse just snorted and gave her an annoyed look. "Really, you _really _think he cares about that? Has he ever even brought it up, at all? I mean, he didn't even know you were a girl when you were first friends. You yourself told me! So why would he give a thought to the fact that you hated him for over ten years?" he angrily asked, pointing his index finger down on the table. "Face it; the guy barely even qualifies as a friend! I bet he only just thinks of you as a source of free food! He didn't even want you to come with him to Mount Phoenix!"

"No- but… but what we're doing here is important! What happens if this Kiima person isn't there once they get to the mountain, huh? Ranchan'll have to rely on _us_ to track her down!" Ukyo countered, her face faltering back a bit at the start, but soon reaffirming herself.

The part-time café worker was unfazed by this though; he was on a roll. "Yes, because what we're doing right now is _so_ important, right? Come on, think about it! We're pretty much just doing busy work! The only reason we're even out here is because you complained!" Mousse further ranted on, glaring at the girl in front of him. "All the grief we've been though? All the crap _I've_ had to put up with? It's been entirely pointless! You're just too in denial to see it!" he bellowed, venom filling his voice as he unleashed all his troubles on the girl, uncaring if he was making a scene.

The young okonomiyaki chef though was _not_ going to put up with such a personal insult. "Right, right, everything's my fault, _isn't it,_ sugar? You know what? Now _you're_ making _me_ mad! This entire trip I've been trying to stay positive and hope for the best. But you_- _you have just _not, stopped, COMPLAING_!" she barked, her voice getting louder with each word. "Everything you say… It's like you think the whole_ world_ is out to get you! And you _just_, _keep_, _going_, _ON _about it! I've been trying to pass the time, telling you a little about myself, sharing stories, but every word that has come out of your mouth is just another reason for you to start _moaning_ about things again!" Her face was red hot as the dam of her anger finally broke, just like Mousse's.

Before the other boy could counter back though, Ukyo just continued on. She still had a few choice words that she needed to get out. "And honey, don't get me _started_ on how hypocritical you're being! You're telling me you wouldn't be obsessing as much as I am if Shampoo was in Ranchan's place?" she asked, giving him a cheeky look and crossing her arms. "You know, I really _love_ that one story of how you told me you kidnapped Akane. Oh, haha, and the best part? How you tried to spin it so it was _Ranchan_ who was in the wrong! That was great! So, ya know what? Before you go and complain about _me_, take a good long look at _yourself_, because you're just as bad!"

Mousse winced back a little at the verbal beat-down he was just the recipient of. While admittedly he that hadn't exactly been the friendliest person around throughout their little expedition, he had good reason for it… didn't he? Mousse was forced into this. And everything just kept on getting worse for him. Of course he had the right to complain!... But deep down he knew he wasn't exactly being the best companion towards Ukyo on this trip. '_I guess she made somewhat of a good point. I'd probably be looking twice more fiercely than we are now if it was my Shampoo that was in danger. Even if it __**is**__ Saotome of all people, she seems to really care for him. I mean, I guess, who am I to judge how she feels?'_

Letting out a sigh, and tilting his head downward, Mousse simply responded. "I'm sorry."

Ukyo's fiery disposition faltered back a bit upon hearing this, just as she was ready to head off on another tangent. "Wha- what'd you say, honey?"

The weapon's master raised his eyes to her level, still feeling a bit like a child being scolded by his mother. "I said I'm sorry. I- I guess I've been kind of a heel lately. Things, they just haven't really been going my way for a while now, but it's no reason for me to be taking it out on you!" the glasses wearing boy responded, trying his best to make amends. "You- You're right. You're handling this a lot better than I probably would have considering the circumstances. And being out here… Well, it's not _entirely_ pointless I guess. I'll uh, try to be a bit better from now on,"

The spatula wielding warrior backed down somewhat, as a large amount of the anger she was feeling drained out of her. The usual reasonable sensibilities she had returning mostly as she realized how silly she was being. "Oh, it's- it's alright Mousse. What I said… was kind of uncalled for. I know you have nothing to really gain in this and I really just appreciate you willing to try and help out." She sighed; this had just not been a good week for either of them. "I'm sorry if I'm just making things worse for you. I just don't know what to do right now I guess. I mean, they didn't _want me_ to come with them. And well, that hurt. I'm just trying to make up for everything. But I guess it's not really working. I'm- I'm really sorry." Ukyo finished, frowning slightly and placing her hands down on the table in front of her, a tired look on her face as she let out all her worries and troubles unto the boy in front her.

Mousse stared at the girl before him. She seemed so… jaded now that he got a good look at her. Even with all the complaining he'd been doing, it appeared as if _she'd_ been the one who was hurting worse. Without even giving it a thought, he awkwardly placed his hand over hers', patting it to try and reassure her. "Hey … Don't- don't worry too much about things. I suppose we both have a lot of stuff on our minds right now. I guess that's what's causing us to get at each other's necks." Noticing her frown lessening, he said the first thing that came to his mind. "I- Hey! You know what? Why _don't_ we go looking around a little more? I mean, what's it gonna hurt? We can go back home later, or tomorrow!"

The okonomiyaki chef's eyes brightened up upon hearing this. "You- you're okay with that? I mean that's- that's great! There're still a few places that I really want to take a peek at! I was thinking, why don't we go south? I mean, it's getting on to summer pretty soon and that's where birds fly off to right? It makes perfect sense! Oh there's also…"

As Ukyo went rambling on about the various locales she wanted to head to, Mousse couldn't help but chuckle. In the past few days he had grown quite used to the semi-bubbly like attitude of the girl before him and to see her down just really didn't sit right with him. As he watched her animatedly go off on a tangent, he sadly felt the need to interrupt. "Ah, that's great, but I think we should probably head out of here first. I think our little '_conversation'_ might've disturbed a few people," he stated, looking around at a few other patrons who were giving him and the girl an eye.

Turning around herself, and seeing that they seemingly _were_ making a sight, Ukyo just nodded. "Right, of course." At that, she started stuffing napkins as well as a few handfuls of sugar cubes that were laying in a jar next to her into her pocket.

Mousse blinked and scratched his head as he watched the spatula wielding girl raid the items around her. With a bewildered expression, he felt the need to whisper the following, "Um, just what the hell are you doing?"

Ukyo though continued stuffing her pockets. "We haven't eating anything today and we still don't have any money. Now you see that glass of water you're sipping out of? Stick it up your sleeve like you do your weapons and then get ready to bolt. I got everything else."

The part-time duck's left eye just began to twitch, though nevertheless he followed the order. "But _why_?" he asked as he carefully hid the water away.

"Simple! We're gonna pour the sugar into the water and dip the napkins in it! Trust me honey, we'll be eatin' good tonight!"

* * *

**6/04/11: Extensive edits done by R.T. Stephens and myself.**


	10. Stops, ships, and close shaves! Part 2

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own the rights to the works of Rumiko Takahashi, I am simply writing this for my sheer enjoyment.

**A/N: Hey there folks, sorry for this chapter taking so long, there were quite a few complications to say the least! I'll get to more on that later though, as well as some other things.**

**Until then, happy reading!**

* * *

Just across from the same run down diner, at the same time as Mousse and Ukyo quarreled, two not so same individuals sat down at a just as same sleazy bar; drowning out their woes in cheap liquor. Yuzuki Yamamoto had practically spent _hours_ planning his heist of that little Kudo girl. Once he had nabbed her and gotten properly paid, his small "gang" would have finally hit it big! But now everything was ruined! Two thirds of the people he had managed to recruit had been left smashed in on the pavement and were now going to be sent off to rot in a jail cell somewhere. What was _worse_ was that his only companion around was the dimwitted _Chuzzley_ of all people!

"Things can't get any worse," he sullenly mumbled; quickly chugging down a shot of sake; paid for with practically the last of their already meager funds. Currently both he and his associate had taken off their masks; revealing the two contrasting faces that were held underneath. Yuzuki himself had short cropped hair that slicked back naturally on itself. Donned on his face were two beady eyes held right above his large, pig-like snout. His small bulky frame did nothing to alleviate the previous woeful features.

Sitting directly to the left of him though sat Chuzzley, who couldn't have been anymore different. He was tall and lanky, with frizzled hair that looked as if he'd been struck by a bolt of lightning. His face was a sight, with two giant eyes that constantly seemed to be filled with childlike wonder, which in turn only brought attention to his tiny dot of a nose. "Aww, cheer up boss! Least we got outta dere okay! We'd a been in a _real_ pickle if ya hadn't jumped outta dat alley in time!"

Growling and taking another shot, Yuzuki turned to his companion and let out his frustrations. "Chuzzley ya idiot, we ain't got nothin' now! Just think about it! We have to start from scratch! Do ya know how hard it was jus' scroungin' up just those couple a thugs in da first place? And the worst of it all is it's a bunch a kid's faults for screwin' us over!" he yelled, uncaring of his surroundings. Once again his dreams were shattered to pieces. "_What I wouldn't give ta show those punks what for…"_

As he watched his boss stew in his own juices, Chuzzley continued to try and cheer him up. "Ey' uh, it ain't _all_ dat bad there boss! I still managed ta nab dis here thingamajig!" He said, pulling out a small, pink, diamond encrusted bracelet out of his side-pocket.

Barely managing to keep the liquor he had just swallowed down, Yuzuki's eyes widened as he looked over the parcel. "Ch-Chuzzley, ya dumb ole' genius, where da heck did ya get _that_ thing?" the pig-nosed thief asked, quickly using his mangy paws to inspect it. "Aw yah, dis here's the real deal alright! My folks used ta hoard glam like dis all the time!"

The frizzle haired man simply just rubbed the back of his neck in a bashful manner. "Aww geez boss, I jus' found it lyin' next to da lil' girly's bed, and I thought it'd made a _real_ pretty souvenir!"

Yuzuki just let out a hearty belly laugh as he tossed the trinket in his hand. "Ya know Chuzz? I rememba now why I keeps ya's around! Ya may be an incompetent halfwit of a doofus, but ya sure gots yourself a heck'ova streak a luck goin' fer ya!" Taking a quick moment to let out another full chuckle, he continued on. "Nows we's gots somethin' here! We'll be eatin' good fer weeks once we pawn dis baby off!" Flipping the bracelet once more in his hand, Yuzuki simply just stared off in the distance for a moment. "Now if only da other fellas could be here now for the celebratin'…"

As quick as his jubilation appeared, it vanished. Before he had this new money-ticket fall into his hands, Yuzuki was fed up, broken, and could only bemoan his own failure; uncaring of the consequences. But now, _now_ he had leverage! He'd survive to see another day alright, but the humiliation of being bested by a bunch of brats would sting longer than any sort of hunger would. He _knew_ that if he were to ever gain any credibility at all, he'd have to show that he wasn't a man who let himself get pushed around like that! "Chuzz, this little doodad may be a life saver fer us, but it ain't gonna do us no good in the long run! If we wanna prove dat we're tough, real manly men, we're gonna have ta beat up dos' kids!"

A grimace appeared on the other thug's face as the gears in his head start to churn. "Aw, but boss, didn't dey say dat they was hoppin' on a boat at Toyama or somethin'? How're we gonna get ta em'?"

Yuzuki's eyes widened at this reminder of the current circumstances. Despite making his disappearance from the scene earlier, he had attempted to stay back on the nearby rooftops to scope things out for a while. As they tried to find a way to catch their annoying interlopers off guard and retake the girl, they managed to score out some seemingly useless information. But now though, it appeared as if they were currently placed under a tight time limit if they wanted to enact at least _some_ form of revenge!

Despair coming over him once more, the beady-eyed thief banged his head on the countertop they were at. "Criminy, it's pointless! There ain't no ways we's catchin' up to dem at dis rate, and even if we could, we'd just get our butts whooped again!"

Not liking seeing his friend in such a down state, Chuzzley patted Yuzuki on the back. "Aww, don't get sad dere Mista Y! Who cares if we dun beat up a few kiddies? We's still got da jewels!"

Growling once again, Yuzuki ceased his head-pounding and looked up at his associate, grabbing him by the shoulders. "Damn it Chuzzley ya knuckle-head! Use ya pea-brain fer once an' think about it! If we get our rears whooped by a bunch o' brats, then who'll wanna join up in our crew, huh? Do I have ta remind ya that we're a _few_ member's short already?" he yelled out, shaking his companion a bit to get his point across. "Now, ya _see_, if we's were dealt a _propa_ hand, den da smart thing ta do would be's ta go back and smash in dos' punks! Den, everythin' they did ta us would be negated en' such!" he finished, nodding his head. His logic was flawless.

Clapping his hands, the tiny-nosed companion gained a dumb grin upon his face. "Wowzers boss, ya sure are smart! I'd a never figured dat out all by myself!"

Yuzuki though merely sniffed as he jutted his nose upward. "A'course ya wouldn't! Ya noodle up dere is da size a my little pinky! Dat's why ya follow me! I'm da brains a da operation!"

But before his ego could be boosted any higher though, his mood took a 180! "But don't ya see though? Now dat we can't get payback on dos' punks, we'll neva get any real credibility around here! We'll be da laughin' stock a crime, a joke heard round da district! We'll be nothin'! Kaput! A whole lotta zeros!"

As Yuzuki continued on about their disastrous situation, over off in a shadowy corner of the bar, another person sat watching. He had spent the last sum odd of time listening in to the amusing conversation that the two men were having as he rested and enjoyed himself. Although at first only taking mild, novel interest in the two bumbling fools, his opinion on the matter quickly changed once he saw the diamond bracelet that they were flaunting. He just _knew_ he had to investigate!

Getting up from his table, he casually strolled over to the two bickering bozos, intending to interject into their conversation. "Why allo there, gentlemen! A pleasant afternoon's greeting to both of you, yes. Vould you mind if I joined you here for moment?" he asked with a polite and formal tone, though with business-like seriousness.

Yuzuki was so busy ranting that he hardly even noticed the other person saying anything, let alone coming up to him. And it was, in fact, his frizzled haired friend's mouth oddly hanging agape that caught his attention overall. "I'm tellin' ya! Everythin' ru- Hey, what da heck are ya lookin' at me like _dat_ for? Can't'cha show some respect to ya leader? After everything I've done for ya's…" As he demanded this, Chuzzley could only point and stare; not even able to turn his eyes away from the sight before him. "Ehh, wazzat ya- ahh!" The pig-nosed man screamed as he turned to take a look at what was perturbing his companion. But the image before him shocked any sense of anger or indignation right out of him!

The newly arrived stranger's overt seriousness broke as he let out a deep, hearty belly laugh; taking a step forward and revealing his alien features. The man had pale blue skin that looked smooth to the touch, with an odd amount of scales littering his form. Adding more to the strangeness were his humongous webbed hands and what looked to be gills that were protruding out of his neck! His large muscle-bound body only aided to make him more intimidating.

"Hahaha! Ey see my appearance scare you little, da? Ha! Is no problem. Ey get it all time, am not offended!" the large fish-like person boisterously exclaimed, his tone growing warm and friendly despite his frightening form. "Am Vladimir Lagunov by way, good meet you all, yes?" the hulking man asked; jutting his hand forward in a welcoming gesture.

"Wait… wait a second, V-Vlad Lagunov?" Yuzuki shouted, an odd bit of shock in his voice.

Immediate fear leaving him after the strangely friendly gesture, Chuzzley was the first to respond. Taking the webbed hand and shaking it generously, he enthusiastically spoke back. "Well, wadda ya know? A real live talking Tuna sandwich! I's always wanted ta meet one a yous!"

His boss could only continue to gasp. "_Vlad Lagunov_!"

Said "Vlad" only let out another laugh his he took a seat directly to the right of the two. "Haha! Skeeny man is faunny! Am not tuna! Is long story, no want bore you…" he explained, helping himself to a shot of sake that looked like it would hit the spot at the moment.

Snapping out of it upon seeing his delectable drink being drunk, Yuzuki turned to his frizzle haired companion and bonked him on the head. "Damn it Chuzzley! Ya can't jus' go an' insult a man like dat! That's _Vladimir Lagunov!_ Don't ya get it?" he demanded. "He's a highly professional mercenary! Ya should show im' a lil' respect!"

A sad frown appearing on his face, the gangster's companion turned his head down. "Aww, geez, sorry boss. I didn't know! Why's he a fish though? That ain't somethin' ya see every day!" he asked, taking a glance at the "highly professional" man who was currently chugging their liquor.

Letting out another guttural growl, Yuzuki pulled his bumbling companion in close and whispered. "Damn it! Do I have ta explain everythin' to ya's?" he asked, figuratively. "Now listen and listen good! A while back I read an article about him in 'No Good Scum Quarterly', and apparently he was like, a kid when dat big explosion in Russia happened and released all dat radiation. But cause he was _so _tough, it didn't kill him or nothin'! Just changed the guy inta a fish thing and made im' super strong!" he finished, nodding as he recounted the story with an overall glint in his eye.

Chugging down remnants of the sake, Vladimir laughed. "Haha! Yes! Leetle fat-man know lot about me, am flattered! Ees not _exactly_ what happen though... Long story short, tiny little Vlad am tiny little boy living in tiny little village, who just _love_ swim, every day, every night! Is fun! But then, radiations come and make vater strange. Vlad no longer just swim with fishes, he _become_ fish! Haha!... Is not bad though, made me _unbelievably_ strong, da!" he exclaimed in an energized and upbeat tone. "After that, eh, just typeecal life I suppose, you know. Grow up, use powers as advantage, become mercenary, wander round world, meet nice lady, _marry_ nice lady, have preetty daughter, and still wander world today having lots of adventures!"

Yuzuki simply stared on in awe. Now _this_ was a guy livin' the life! "Dat's great there Mr. Lagunov! But, umm… do ya want or need somethin' from us? I'd a think dat a guy like you'd a be busy with more important things!" he asked, curious, but feeling a bit fearful. A bruiser like this could snap him in two!

The talking fish-man's tone shifted and became more professional. "Actually, da, there _ees_ something zat Ey wanted to talk to you both about. Ey couldn't help but listen een to za conversation that you were having earlier. It seems as eef that you and your friend are een a bit of pickle, no?" he asked, placing his right elbow on the counter and turning directly towards the two. "Well, I'd be willing to help. For price, of course."

A consternated look upon his face, Chuzzley was the first to respond. "Aww well, dat's real swell an' all, but we ain't got no money ta pay ya with!" he exclaimed, sticking his pockets out to show they were broke.

With a grimace, Yuzuki quickly jabbed his partner in the ribs. "Uhh, what he means ta say is, our current funds are situamated into several otha ventures at da the moment an' as such, we cannot purchase ya services… A cryin' shame that dat might be," he stated, doing damage control on their problematic situation. He didn't want themselves to look even _worse _in other people's eyesthan they already did!

Letting out another deep, baritone laugh, the Russian irradiated fish-man simply patted the bulky man before him on the shoulder, quickly returning to his jovial attitude. "Haha! Is alright. Direct payment is not always, how you say, _necessary_. Am willing to take it in other forms too, such as maybe… nice bracelet that you two be having?" he stated, peering his eyes over at the trinket.

Blinking at this statement, Yuzuki gripped the bracelet in his hand and started to grin broadly. "Oh, uh… dis' thing? You uh, want it, do ya? Hehe… now what could a guy like you do wid' one a dese?" he rhetorically asked, not expecting his recent good luck charm to pay off as quickly as it seemingly had.

The fish-man just smiled. "Da, looks nice. Never seen van like it. One of kind, special made, I'm guessing. It very important that I get it. You caught me in bit of jam here." Coughing once, he explained. "You see, Vlad promise mein little dotchka that he would bring _huge_ present to her once he get home from recent job. Thing _is_, I complete job, and _still_ have nothing her can bring her!" Vlad stated, nodding twice. "So tell you what. Eef you give me tiny bracelet so I can make daughter happy, I help take revenge on those people you vant to find. Is good deal, yes?"

Even though he was not exactly the brightest bulb in the box, Chuzzley knew giving away their only meal ticket probably wasn't the smartest idea. "Hey uhh, boss? Ya really wanna jus give it ta im' like dat? What'll we do fa food?" he asked rather urgently.

Growling _again_, Yuzuki pulled Chuzzley aside to give him a few choice words. "Damn it man, don't blow dis fer us! I knows what I'm doin'. Jus' think about it for a second!" He held up the bracelet to emphasize. "What'll dis lil' thingy get us anyways? A month or two a instant noodles? A week a fast food? Nothin' good in da long run! But dat' guy back dere? He's been in a magazine dat's probably read by _hundreds_! If we can say he's officially worked fer us, just think about how much cred it'll net us! We'll have thugs linin' up round da block ta join up! We'll be on top fer once!"

Seeing his companion's eyes widen, Yuzuki continued on. "And who cares about a few ready-made dinners anyways? Once we're _really_ in business we'll be eatin' lobster so often you'll be sick a it! So just trust me alright? What could go wrong?" He let out a chuckle, this was gonna work out great!

Nodding quite enthusiastically at the idea, Chuzzley simply responded. "Aww wow, dat sure does sound swell! I can't believe I eva doubted ya boss!"

Turning to the mercenary; bracelet in his hand, Yuzuki felt full confidence in his actions. "Alright Mr. Lagunov, ya got yourself a deal dere. But just ta make sure dat we got everything squared an' such, I'll only give ya dis lil' bad boy _afta_ da job is done, ya hear? It shouldn't be _too_ hard. Da only reason dey took us in da first place was cause they caught us off guard! With us fully prepared, wipin' the floor wid em' should be a cinch!"

Rubbing his chin with a finned hand, Vlad contemplated the minor stipulation of the agreement. Shrugging once, he simply just nodded. "Ah, is fine! Should not take that long anyway! Only few hours at most… you have deal!" He thrust his hand forward, in a final gesture.

With a wide glint in his eye, Yuzuki grabbed at the man's finned fingers; shaking them vigorously. "Haha! Ya made yourself a fine choice dere pal! Dis'll be a piece a cake with you on board. We'll pound dos' punks, no problem!"

Happy that everything seemed to be, for once, going well for them, the big-eyed bumbler absently looked down at hit watch, which caused him to gasp! "Uh oh, fellas. The big hand on my thing here went around again! Dat means it's…. two o' clock!" the dimwitted Chuzzley exclaimed, urgency filling his voice.

Yelping, Yuzuki grabbed the wrist of his friend and examined things for himself. "Aw crud, he's right! We really _won't _ever make it in time now!" the stoutly man exclaimed; letting go of his counterpart's arm; just about ready to start bemoaning his tragedy of a life once again.

Grimacing slightly, Vladimir though stayed strong and took the initiative. "Excuse me… just vhen you say they be leaving?" he asked with curiously.

An annoyed look still plastered on his face, Yuzuki simply replied, "Four o' clock I hear. I don't think we can make it in time."

As if a light bulb went off in his head, the talking fish-man smiled and waved his arm off at the statement. "Haha! That _not_ issue at all! They go Toyama, yes? We make it in time."

Lips pursing, Chuzzley craned his neck upon hearing the rather cocksure response. "Aw, but how we gonna do dat, Mr. Tuna-man?"

Turning to completely face his two new employers, Vlad's fish-faced smile never left his face. "You know how I say I travel world so can make money? Vell, when I am in Germany, mein favorite thing to do is travel… on zee autobahn."

* * *

Seated in the backseat of a limousine that was currently speeding itself across central Japan, five intrepid adventurers sat resting and relaxing in luxury; readying themselves for the next harrowing part of the journey ahead. Akane was treating herself to one of the various soft drinks found in an adjacent cooler, while Shampoo was attempting to hold a conversation with her Airens, as well as marveling the soft cushioning of the seats. And all the while Ryoga was simply just taking in the joy of not having to worry about getting lost; for at least the moment, anyway.

"It sure was lucky that we managed ta hitch a ride like _this_ just sort of out of the blue," Ranma's male form exclaimed from within Shampoo's grasp; a sense of relief filling his voice. "I'd a hate having to sweat it bustin' our butts tryin' to high tail it to the bay on foot!"

Ryoga, while absently looking out the window, just snorted. "Who'd be the ones 'high tailing' it anyway? We're the ones who're doing all the work."

Not one to take that lying down, a particular red chúi interjected, "Hey! How many times do we have ta go over this with ya? It ain't our fault that stupid spell didn't give us any legs! Besides, we're tryin' to fix everythin' right now anyway! So just cram it!" she exclaimed; narrowing her eyes.

Shampoo, not wanting to put up with their bickering throughout the _entire__ty_ of their trip, tried to mitigate. "Airens and pig-boy no need fight. Everything is okay now, _remember_? We riding in too too nice car that take us to too too nice boat! And then, we get Ranmas _all_ fixed!" she exclaimed in a upbeat tone; finally glad that things were, for once, going their way.

Taking a sip from her soda, Akane just nodded. "That's right everyone! We should be happy. Ryoga's little detour actually managed to help us in the end."

"Yeah, well, let's just hope that we don't have to put up with too many '_detours_' once we get to China," The obsidian chúi warned; not even liking to _think_ about running around a place _that_ huge to find the bandanna wearing boy. "I may a spent a bit of time trainin' there, but the place is friggin' massive! Trust me pig-breath, if ya get yourself lost there you're on your own! It'll probably take _years_ ta find ya!" _'Tryin' ta find a needle in a haystack? Ha! More like tryin' ta find an ant in an elephant's cage… or, err, somethin'.'_

Actually taking Ranma seriously for once, Ryoga just grumbled, "_Yeah_, _yeah_, I'll be careful. I know we've got business that needs to be taken care of, so I won't screw up, _okay_?" he stated, crossing his arms. Despite his arrogant tone, he _was_ paying attention. He didn't want to make a fool of himself _again_.

"And no more a those _dumb '_heroics' ya been pullin'!" the red chúi abrasively said, remembering back to earlier. "I don't know what angle you've been tryin' ta pull lately, but ya need ta cut it out! We can't go stoppin' every five minutes fer ya ta rescue a cat outta a tree!" She "hmphed"; really wishing she could bop the idiot on the head for his antics.

"Ranma you bast-"

But before Ryoga could finish his retort, the car swerved and made a hard right; causing the teens to abruptly jolt in their seats. Akane smoothly managed to spill a large amount of the sticky carbonated drink all over her face as well. "Oh _darn it_, now that's just _great_," she mumbled as she rummaged through her pack, looking for the set of wet wipes.

Still tightly holding on to the pair of chúi, the purple haired Amazon let out a breath she was unconsciously holding in. "Stupid–stupid idiot car-person! Don't he know there peoples back here? He could make people hurt!" she asked sharply, glaring daggers up at the unhearing driver.

Slightly confused at the mild case of "road-rage" the girl was having, Ranma's male form began to inquire; trying to start up a conversation. "Hey, what's the matter Shampoo? You're actin' like ya ain't never been in a car before or somethin'," he asked before adding a tale of his own. "Heh, I remember a few years back, my Pop's managed ta swindle a guy outta his in a _card game_. And _man_ he drove like a maniac! We only had it a few weeks before he crashed the thing into a river..."

Still feeling her indignant mood, Shampoo only really managed to take mild interest in what he said. "Is funny story Airen… but it nothing _like_ that. Shampoo _definitely_ been in car before, it just she no do it too often. Much prefer bike, it good exercise!" she exclaimed, her tone lightening up slightly.

"Hehe, yeah, ya sure do. If I was human I'd probably still have the bruise from when ya rammed me with that ten-speed tumbler a yours!" the black hammer exclaimed in a rather amused tone, though with a tinge of annoyance in his voice.

Blushing slightly, the chúi wielding warrior started to feel a tad embarrassed. "Ah, Shampoo sorry about that Airen! I sometimes get excited sometimes! Hehe!... She sorry." the girl stated rather apologetically. Shampoo had always seemed to have had a bit of trouble keeping control of her inhibitions. It was one of her main Achilles heels when it came to fighting. She could never really focus enough on a single emotion for her to learn some of the heavier hitting ki attacks. It was for that reason that she preferred to specialized in weapons more than anything else, though she was still able to master a few, such as her ki tracking technique.

Chuckling nervously a bit, Ranma's male form flinched; figuring he had accidentally hit a sore spot. "Eh, don't worry about it Shamps. I'm just teasin' ya, is all! Everythin' bout' that is water under the bridge, okay?" he asked in a rather nonchalant tone; hoping she wouldn't take him too seriously. '_**Stupid**__… Me an my big mouth__! W__hy the heck do I keep on screwin' up like this around people?'_

Looking up from where she was hiding her face, the purple haired girl simply just nodded unsurely. If she hadn't of stopped to greet him on that day, then all the trouble they were going though might not have happened. "You mean it?.."

Ryoga at that moment interjected. "Are you kidding me? That idiot's stupid insults are half the reason I learned the Shishi Hokodan in the first place! The best way to handle em' is to just try and ignore the jerk."

"Oh _please_, like you even learned to do _that_!" The fiery red chúi exclaimed; really wishing she could stick her tongue out at the boy right now. "Otherwise me just talkin' to ya wouldn't be tickin' ya off so bad!"

Finally finishing her impromptu clean up, Akane joined in on the conversation. "Now don't get started like this right now, you two! What'll that make it, the _fourteenth_ time today you've started going at it?" she asked, eyes darting between both the Ranmas _and_ Ryoga. "Could you _please _give it a rest for once?"

"Yeah, fine, _whatever_,we'll try and cool off at each other, I guess…" the black chúi mumbled, trying to shrug things off as best as he could. "Anyway, like I said, there's nothin' to worry about Shampoo. Besides, Akane smacks me _way_ harder than that bike a yours _any day_!" he exclaimed, trying to lighten the mood.

Smiling a bit, the violet haired girl joined in the charade. "Mmm-hmm, is _true_!" she nodded, fully getting into the act. "Pervert-girl always smash Airen like _brick_! Shampoo wonder how your head take it!" she exclaimed in a mocking tone.

"Oh yeah, don't get me started on that time one a her hits left me in a cast!" Ranma's female form continued on. "Luckily, I healed up real quick. But that _still_ doesn't top when she…"

Growling and clutching the hem of her dress, the youngest Tendo tried her best to bear the barrage of vocal blows; though after another minute or so of them going at it, she was ready to explode! "Oh, would both of you just quit it already? When I said to stop bickering with Ryoga, I didn't mean for you to try and go after _me_!"

Wanting to make himself look good in front of the woman he admired, the eternally lost boy couldn't help but join in to assist her. "Yeah _Ranma_, you should stop being so damn childish. Akane deserves better than that!" he yelped, pointing his index finger towards the two chúi.

Ranma's male form just let out a snort. "Heh, lighten up for a minute, _tomboy_. We're just havin' fun. Besides, there ain't all that much we can do right now, ya know?" he said, trying to ease tempers.

Shampoo just nodded enthusiastically at the statement, her momentary minute of discontent quickly leaving her. "Mmm-hmm, Ranmas is right! Is too, too _boring_ in here right now. We need thing to talk about!" she yelped in a "matter-of-fact" tone.

Ryoga just narrowed his eyes at the lot. "Yeah, well, let's just hope you don't get like this too much while on the boat," he mumbled in a annoyed tone. Two Ranmas was bad enough, having the Amazon girl join in on their antics would annoy him to no end!

It was at that moment, that the group found themselves coming to an abrupt halt as the car's engine powered down and the rumblings of the vehicle ceased.

"Huh? Hey, we stopped!" the red chúi exclaimed, the first one to say anything. "W-wait! Are we there? Did we finally make it to that damn ship?" she questioned, her eyes darting over to anyone who might have the answer.

Taking a look out of her window, Akane's eyes widened at the sight as the mid-day sun started to sparkle across the bay of Toyama prefecture's namesake, creating a beautiful visage that was a welcome change to all the troubles they had come across as of late. Clapping her hands she turned to the rest, who were peering out into the distance as well. "Oh, we must have gotten so preoccupied with ourselves that we completely missed out on just how far along we've gotten! This is great!"

"Heck yeah, it is!" the black hammer exclaimed. "_Finally_, we can get started on movin' on ta China and getting this damn problem over with!"

At that moment, the limousine's door opened, ushering in brightness as the driver who brought them all this way stood before them. "I do believe we've reached the destination that you all specified. We're right in the industrialized tip of the area. Is this as far as you would like me to take you?" the Kudo family's assistant asked; holding the door open as the teens made their way out.

"No, is alright," Shampoo stated, literally hopping out in her happy state. "Great-Grandmother gave us map; is not that far from here. It should only take few minutes!"

"Question is, do we even have _that_?" Ryoga asked while stretching, finally glad to be able to move his legs once more.

Blinking at the statement, Akane turned her eyes towards the watch strapped to her wrist and gasped "Guys, it's fifteen minutes to four! We're going to be late if we don't hurry!"

"Aw crap!" The black hammer exclaimed, a new worrisome expression forming upon his face. "Hey, mister! Thanks for the ride, but we really gotta bolt! If we don't get goin' right away we'll be stuck here for who knows _how_ long!"

After several agreements, "thank yous", handshakes and various apologies for spilled liquids, the five to rushed off. They had a boat to catch!

* * *

Deep within the bowels of the S.S. Water Dragon's cargo hold, three men sat hidden, waiting for when their prey would arrive so they could strike. Vladimir had driven at practically subsonic velocity to get his two employers to their destination. And against all practical odds he had managed to do just that. While though battered and bruised from the sudden jerks of movement in the automobile, they managed to get there well before their marks could even touch the soil below their feet.

"I still can't believe we managed ta stash ourselves away in ere'," Yuzuki whispered, trying and failing to get himself comfortably situated amongst the wooden cargo around him. "I mean, swimin' along da side an' punchin' a hole fer us ta squeeze through? Mr. Lagunov, ya sure are a _genius_. And who'd a thunk ya actually had _scuba_ gear right in da trunk? Ya came prepared fer everythin'," he stated, indicating towards the attire that he and his bumbling friend were currently wearing. His special treasure was also hidden away in one of the pouches that adorned the suit.

Quieting down so as to not be heard, Vlad only let out a small laugh. "Haha. It come with territory, friend. When you fish-man, you swim. When you _mercenary _fish-man, you _work_ with people who need swim," he stated; moving his eyes over to their recent entry point. "Just hope people driving no notice anyting suspicious about boat. Vlad try and fix hole he smash in, but it may look like leetle ding from outside..." the Russian man warned, peering at his comrades. "We probably take off before ven, though."

Sitting in between both of them, Chuzzley couldn't help but hold a curious glint in his eyes; wondering just _what_ this tiny ship was actually carrying. "Aww gee dere fellas, dese guys _suuuure_ are carrying a lot a stuff right here. I wonda what all it is…"

Wanting him to stop fidgeting, Yuzuki gave his friend an eye. "Keep ya mitts ta yourself dere Chuzz. We got otha things ta worry about! We can ransack dis joint _afta_ we take care a business," he finished, a tiny smile appearing upon his face at the fact that they'd have a load of extra doodads to pawn off after the end of things.

Growing more serious at the moment, the blue skinned hired hand tried to vocalize some of his thoughts. "Yes… it is shame though that we no get to think up proper form of assault against targets. But I vould think simple gorilla tacteecs should suffice on such a tiny vessel. If worse come worse, we just sink ship!" he said, pounding one of his gilled fists into his palm to finalize things. "But tell, before vey get here, who exactly vill we be figh-" But before he could finish, a loud thumping from up above caused a momentary end to their conversation as the sounds of people stirring waved through their ears.

* * *

Over on the deck of the Water Dragon, Shampoo, Akane, Ryoga and the two chúis boarded themselves on the boat with great frenzy and anxiousness, having just spent the last ten or so minutes dodging and looking around for this _exact_ ship.

"This it? We finally here?" Ranma's male form asked urgently, ki eyes darting about in an erratic fashion.

"Boat's name is 'Water Dragon', it has to be. Great-Grandmother no lie," Shampoo answered back assuredly, scoping out the area. The ship around them was simple, but neatly kept. It had a modern design that was colored in white with a dash of blue streaks painted on to cancel any sense of monotony. It was roughly medium in size and looked to be able to hold about a dozen or so individuals.

"Not bad," Ryoga stated, taking a look around while setting down the various packs and carry-on items that he had insisted he keep a hold of for the girls.

It was then though that three black suited men discretely made their way out onto the deck from the interior portion of the boat. While seemingly not aggressive, to the teens they _did_ look quite intimidating. Never one to let her guard down, Akane formed a fighting stance out of habit. It was only when one of the sharply dressed suits placed out his hand in a welcoming gesture did she snap out of it

"You must be our clients for the time being, I assume?" the middle professional asked, still holding out his hand. "We were starting to wonder if you were going to show up. Luckily though you all arrived just on time."

Blinking, Akane accepted the gesture, shaking the man's hand firmly. "Yeah, um, sorry about that… It's- it's a _long_ story," she smiled; sheepishly.

"Mmm-hmm, just glad it over," Shampoo stated with a sense a relief in her voice. "Oh, hello there peoples!" she added, hopping over to the forefront with Akane.

The man to the farthest right of the group just smiled. "Ah yes, you're Ms. Shampoo, the Granddaughter to Madame Cologne, right? How _is_ she? I do hope she's doing well," he asked, looking down at the girl before him.

Nodding wholeheartedly, the lavender haired girl replied, "Great-Grandmother doing just fine! She say you alls hope you enjoy new shipment of supplies! She pick out best especially for you!"

A curious glint in her eye, the red hammer inquired, "Hey, how the heck do ya guys know the old ghoul anyway? No offense, but ya don't seem ta be the type that she'd hang out with all too often."

Unfazed by this, the one farthest left answered, "Madame Cologne provides us with an assortment of herbs and incenses that are hard or nearly impossible to find on the market nowadays. We buy them off of her and any sort of profit we make, she gets a percent of. Currently, along with you, we're shipping some of her products."

Understanding now reaching him, the black chúi responded, "Ah, I get it… So you're like, what's that word Nabiki said once?... A bunch a _exporters_ and junk," he reasoned, clarity in his voice. "So _that's_ why you're lettin' us come with you! We're basically jus' hitchin' a ride!" he finished in a "matter-of-fact" tone.

Giving stoic, unintelligible glances between each other, one of apparent traders answered, "Yes. something of that sort."

"What I'm more wondering is just why you guys don't seem to be freaking out that you're talking to a hammer," a certain lost boy wondered, gripping his hand on to the rail of the ship, not wanting to wander off.

The central "businessman" was the first to respond. "Well, let's just say that in our line of work, oddities and other strange factors are quite commonplace. And regardless, it's not our place to ask." Smoothly though, he changed subjects. "Though I'm sure you're all ready to get a move on with things." Turning to his two associates, he bellowed his orders. "Get the others and prepare everything for launch. I think it's only right if I give our clients a tour and show them where they'll be staying while on the Dragon."

From there on the group was given a brief walk around the ship; showing them their chambers, the kitchen, bathroom and even giving them a glance at the helm, for novelties sake, as the varying members of the small crew prepped the remaining tasks for take off.

* * *

It was a short time after launch though that the lot of teenagers was settling down in their cabin, unpacking their supplies and generally relaxing. The room they had was rather small, with just a single twin size bed, two bunks and a desk. Cozy would be the "polite" way to describe it.

Unfortunately though, polite was not a word most often used in a certain black chúi's dictionary. "Man this place is a dump." he said, deadpan. "Hey, Shampoo. How long ya say we'd be riding on this thing again? I don't wanna go catchin' a case a cabin fever!"

Plopping herself down on the twin sized bed and placing the two chúis next to her, Shampoo stretched; glad to have the weight of both her weapons off of her. "Shampoo remember last time she ride here. It no take long; just two days or so. We be in China real, real soon!" she happily exclaimed, before an odd look formed itself on her face.

"So umm, just how _leaky_ is this boat would you say?" Ryoga awkwardly asked, shifting around. "Like, did you ever get, soaked or anything?" He looked directly at Akane.

Blinking a few times but still keeping her features scrunched, Shampoo responded in a dazed-like state. "Ah… no. No. Shampoo no get splashed when last time she ride with peoples. Though this not same boat as before," she finished, shifting her gaze about as if she was looking for something.

Picking up on this, Ranma's male form began to inquire. "Hey uh, Shampoo, you doin' alright? You're actin' as if somethin's wrong.," he said in a slightly worried tone.

"She's probably just getting her sea legs," Akane stated, trying to keep her balance before sitting down, taking the bottom bunk of the bed. "I know _I_ am."

Shaking her head Shampoo refuted, "No, no… it just… well, you know ki tracking move Great-Grandmother teach me? Shampoo feel something familiar. She no know what yet though," she finished, her tone shifting to quiet and sober.

"Whadda ya mean 'familiar'?" the red Ranma asked. "Maybe it's just one a the guys who's taking us that you remember from before," she tried to reason, not really liking the sound of what she was hearing. '_Oh geez_, _like we need __**another**__ thing screwin' us over an makin' things worse!"_

Shaking her head again, the young Amazon elaborated, "No… that not it at all. Shampoo never met these _same_ peoples before. It was different bunch that take me last time. They just work for same persons as before," she said, as if it made all the sense in the world. Feeling anxious, she stood up and started to pace. "But Shampoo not sure… it not seem _too_ familiar, just recent, like seeing same person out on street twice. No know why we find them on boat though."

Shrugging off the Chinese girl's ruminations, Ryoga waved his hand. "Eh, it's probably nothing. I mean who'd be dumb enough to try and do anything to us _here_?"

As if on cue, moments after the lost boy uttered his last syllable, an explosion ruptured throughout the ship; shaking and wobbling it to the core. As the group held on, a ruckus could be heard right on the deck above them, with people, both of the crew and not, yelling about. What was even more curious to the kids was the sound of _gunfire _ringing through the boat's corridors.

"The _hell's_ going on?" the black chúi yelled, having already been picked up by Shampoo; her not wanting to lose them due to some strange happenstance.

"I don't know, but we're not going to figure it out just standing here!" Akane exclaimed.

Seconds later, up topside, the group could only stare wide eyed as the image before them played out. Several of the crew members fired what appeared to be handguns at a gigantic fish, and curiously enough, two of the thugs that they had thought to have vanquished earlier; both of them donned in scuba gear.

"Unbelievable!" The Captain exclaimed, firing his pistol at the annoyingly dodgy gentlemen before him. "These people are actually trying to commandeer aship under the control of The _Triads_! Damn it! Kill these bastards; we've got to protect both the passengers _and_ the cargo!" he ordered, reloading his gun as another of his men was slammed against the boat.

Vladimir was currently not in the best of moods, having come across a bump in the road in their plans. "You did no tell me vat boat workers would be _armed_!" he exclaimed, batting back a barrage of bullets with his oddly durable finned hands; using them like miniature shields.

Dodging the slugs and dancing about like a bunch of fools, Yuzuki and Chuzzley were just as at ends as the fish-man was. "I didn't have a clue eitha! What do dese guys need so damn many guns fer?" he loudly questioned, angrily sucker punching one of the men in his frustration.

An extremely fearful expression on his face, Chuzzley could only do everything in his power to avoid getting shot. "Aww geez boss, I'm startin' ta think dat goin afta dese guys was a _baaaad_ idea! I don't wanna end up like a piece a Swiss cheese!" he wailed, weaving his way through the bullet hell; managing to perform an overly dramatic karate chop that surprisingly managed to take out another of the crew.

It was at that moment that a certain black chúi slammed itself into the part-fish, catching him off guard and getting him nicked in the shoulder by one of the ricocheting shells. "I'll say it _again_: What the hell is going on?"

"Shampoo recognize ki now, Airen!" The purple haired Amazon exclaimed, forming her battle stance. "It from peoples we fought earlier!"

"These creeps managed to follow us all the way here?" Akane asked, taking her combat form right next to Shampoo. "Did we really make them _that_ mad?"

"I _knew_ these punks were no good from the start!" Ryoga stated. "Stealing a kid is one thing, but boat-napping? _That's one step too far._ But I don't recognize that blue guy with gills. I don't think he was with them last time…"

"_You_ all!" Yuzuki yelled, finally pounding the last of the remaining non-Nerimian resistance unconscious. "It's because a all of _you's_ dat I lost most a my gang! Ya practically _ruined_ me!" he rambled, anger and rage within his voice. "So now we're gonna pound ya and prove we're all not just a bunch a wimps!"

Noticing that they were the only ones left, with the entirety of the crew incapacitated, the red chúi grimaced. "_Crap_, these guys don't know how to take a punch, do they?"

Taking the initiative, Ryoga stepped forward and cracked his knuckles. "It doesn't matter at this point. Let's just beat the stuffing outta these guys and get it over with!" he yelled with finality.

Putting pressure on the area where he was lightly bleeding, Vlad only grunted and turned to his two employers. "Fighting gun-person's was only minor set back. Everything ees good to go now. We beat up these people, you save face, I get bracelet. Sound good, da?" he asked, forming a battle stance. "After that, we go separate ways."

"As if we're gonna _let_ ya!" Ranma's male form exclaimed. And with that, Shampoo and the other fighters leapt forth after each other as the rocky boat careened about dangerously. The purple haired girl and Ryoga charged to take on Vlad, leaving Akane to deal with the two other idiots singlehandedly.

Only going at a limited capacity, not wanting to sink the ship due to some foolhardy actions, Shampoo and the depression wielding ki user only started off their initial assault with a barrage of standard strikes. Shampoo slammed her hammers into her foe's sturdy chest, while Ryoga beat on him with a bombardment of strong punches and kicks earned from years of training in the wilderness. The fish-man tried to do his best to block everything.

"Haha! Leetle children are very strong! Am quite impress!" Vlad exclaimed, a wide grin upon his face. "But I warn _you_, I been fighting peoples like you for _years_!" he swiftly said, before a sudden shimmer of light bounced off of one off his fins and he jutted his arm forward; slashing Ryoga with blade-like precision.

"Gahh!" the part-time pig moaned in the gutter of his voice as he shot back in pain; his chest bleeding.

"Ryoga!' Akane yelled, worry in her tone as she attempted to take on the two nit-wits before her, finding it surprisingly hard to manage to get a hit on them. "Hold still damn it!" she said, throwing another punch but in return receiving a knick to her chin as the bumbling buffoon Chuzzley got a hit on her

The eternally lost boy though just grimaced as he put pressure on the wound he had just obtained. It wasn't _bad_ thankfully, not even that deep, but the sharpness and how fine of a cut the fin made was what surprised him. "What the hell are those things made of? Steel or something?"

Vlad meanwhile was fending off against Shampoo, who had doubled in her efforts once Ryoga had momentarily backed out of the foray. He was surprised that such a pretty young girl held herself in such a manner of a warrior. Nevertheless though, he replied to the boy with his usual enthusiasm. "Haha! Is very good, yes? My fins are very special. They so big, they block attacks! But edges so _sharp_, they cut people! They are, how you would say, very _handy_, yes? Hahaha!"

With that, he once again thrust forth his dynamic digits;aiming to take out Shampoo from the mix. The Amazonian heroine though managed to quickly duck from the blow and in return _slammed _the blackchúi into his left knee, causing him to scream and land hard on his back. "Stupid fish-person! Hand attack is just dumb trick! She no fall for it!"

Flinging her other arm down, about to unleash the final blow, Vladimir deftly spun around clockwise and struck her just as she had him. "Leetle purple girl must know, powers not _just _in hands! Vlad ees fish, so his skin's _sleeck_ like one too!" he exclaimed, jumping upwards but still rubbing his struck leg. "Got to hand though, you pack _big _wallop. Was not expecting at all!" he affirmed. "So tell you what, because you _so_ strong, Vlad show you some _very_ faunny moves, okay?" he asked with a large smile plastered upon his face.

Growling, Shampoo slowly got up. "Airens, I's think this guy is just playing with us right now! We need finish this too too quickly! No want to hurt boat!" Turning her head down, she directed her visage to the black hammer. "Guy-Ranma, Shampoo need you to transform! We use super powerful new move yous come up with! We blow stupid silly fish-man away!"

Blinking his ki eyes, the black chúi unsurely responded, "Are ya sure that's a good idea Shampoo? This'll be the first time we used it in a _real_ fight! Who _knows_ what'll happen!" he exclaimed, a slightly worried sound in his voice.

Smiling down at the boy, the bubbly Amazon just nodded excitedly. "Uh-huh, Shampoo _really _want to use it! It look like too too much fun! _Pleeeease_?..." she giddily asked, acting much like a child on Christmas.

"Well, alright, I _guess_..." he said, still reluctant, before reaffirming himself. He simply _couldn't_ refuse the pleading look in her eyes. "Hey uh, Ryoga, are you good to go? We need ya ta hold this guy off while we charge up fer a minute!" he stated, directing his ki eyes over to the lost boy.

Nodding his head once, Ryoga finished applying a bandanna bandage to his cut and prepared to enter combat once more. He whipped out his umbrella as Shampoo and her black metallic companion began to charge their assault. "Whatever moves you might have won't work! We're on an important mission here and you're not going to stop us no matter what!" he vowed, charging forth as he unleashed a flurry of sharp strikes at the man, who continued to block and dodge anything that was launched before him. '_Damn, this could be over so quickly! But I can't risk using the shishi hokodan or breaking point right now__. I__t could destroy the entire ship!'_

"Haha! Umbrella man _talk _big, but you much too eager. Makes you… look… sloppy!" Vlad exclaimed, pushing the part-time pig back before something rather strange happened. The fish-man's body stance changed, loosening himself up as a thick bulge expanded outward from his neck! And before anyone could question or ask about, it Vlad rapidly started shooting out what looked to be giant globs of water from his mouth, right at Ryoga!

Eyes swiftly widening at the implications, Ryoga put his all into dodging and avoiding the shots; knowing regardless of how much they might hurt, getting soaked would mean an inevitable pounding via Akane Tendo! Thoughts of all the time he spent with the blue haired girl as P-chan were now finally coming back to haunt Ryoga's mind as he ran amuck aboard the ship. What made things worse, was upon hitting the boat, the blasts would cause huge chunks of debris to splinter off, giving him a nasty set of cuts! "Geez! What the hell kind of attack _is_ that?"

"Wai-wai-wait! Is that- is he?- Is he _spitting _at us?" the red hammer asked with a disgusted tone in her voice, still waiting for Shampoo to finish preparing the male-Ranma's transformation.

"Haha! You like, no?" Vlad asked, in between firing shots. "It great fun move I learn many years back. It turn out that I can store water in body and fire it out at _extra high_ velocity! It come in _very_ handy, haha!" he exclaimed, continuing his onslaught. The ship was not in good shape at this point. With no one at the helm it had been careening off course for a while now, and the excess damage going about was in no way helping it keep afloat.

"You _bastard_…" Ryoga bellowed. "Wipe that smug grin off your face! Just stand still, I'll get you one way or another!" Though truthfully, he was at wits ends here. He simply _couldn't _get within close range without risking becoming more porcine. And that would ruin everything, especially for him!

It was just then though, as he seemingly lost track of his surroundings, that another barrage of deep blue spittle shot itself right toward him. Doing his best to maneuver around it, he absently forgot that a certain purple haired girl was currently channeling her ki at Ranma just a few feet behind him!

Shampoo's eyes widened as her shocked features could only stare at the shot of water coming directly towards her. Unable to move due to her ki charging, she winced.

Shampoo got splashed.

* * *

At the same time as this, Akane was doing her best to decommission her own set of wily weirdos. Despite their silly appearance and strange antics, they were actually quite competent at fighting. It was honestly starting to make her annoyed. What was starting to make her _more _annoyed though, was listening to both of them venomously _insulting_ her!

"Ey, dis lil' dame actually ain't dat half bad, I gotta admit!" Yuzuki exclaimed while attempting to slam his elbow into her gut. "Who'd a thunk a chick like dis could be so _macho_, huh Chuzz?" he asked in a surprisingly non-condescending way, which to Akane simply made things _worse_.

"Dah, yeah, I know what ya's sayin' dere boss; she can wallop one real good!" Not being a slouch himself though, he tried his own measure of attack, after dancing around a sharp kick from the girl, he gave her a sharp kick to the back!

Growling at the hit, Akane leapt forth. "I can be _perfectly_ feminine when I want to be you two idiots! The very _image_ of a proper young lady even!" she reaffirmed, before continuing. "But not right now! Stand still so I can wring your necks!"

His short and stout size working quite well for him in this instance, Yuzuki lunged away, escaping her grasp. Sadly though, Chuzzley was _not_ so lucky, as his tall and lanky form made his neck _ample_ for plucking! Not being so cruel as to just strangle him to death though, Akane _juggled_ the man in midair, giving a flurry of fisticuffs, free of charge! Kicking him back, the frizzle haired fiend slammed himself right into an empty crate.

Akane smirked as she cracked her knuckles. "Pretty neat huh? I've been watching Ranma a lot lately, checking out his moves! _That_ right _there_ was my take on the chestnut fist! It's not up to par yet, but it still packs a heck of a punch!" she said, glad the amping up of her training was _finally_ paying off. While nowhere near as good as Ranma's, the blue haired girl figured being able to throw at least fifty punches in the span of a second wasn't _too_ shabby.

Moaning over himself, Chuzzley wobbly raised his arm and gave a "thumbs ups". "Uh, umm, I'm okay…" he muttered, picking himself up.

Rubbing his hand over his face, Yuzuki could only just grimace at his partner's ineptitude. The pig-nosed thief decided he needed to kick things up a notch. "Alright, alright! we gotta stop screwin' around like a bunch a idiots!" He hopped backwards, preparing for something _big_. "It's time dat we's whipped out da big guns an' end dis thing once an fer all! I wanna take on dat bandanna punk myself!"

Flinching a bit at the remark, the blue haired girl focused herself. '_These guys haven't been half bad up to this point! If they're not taking me seriously __**now**__, then I may be in trouble… I've gotta take em' down!' _she thought as she assessed the happenings around her. She knew if she wanted to do this properly, she'd have to get angry! As such, she started to rile herself up!_ 'Oh… why the complete __**nerve**__ of those idiotic jerks! First calling me macho, and now not going full out from the start? Who do they think they are? I should pound them right into the pavement!'_

As the girl started grinning, already feeling the heat rising up in her, the pig-nosed thief made sure to not let her get a chance at things! Using his brilliant on the spot planning, he started to unleash his ultimate finishing move! Leaping forward, he pulled out what looked to be a patchwork potato sack! "Yuzuki Yamamoto's Special Specialty: Snatch an' Steal!"

"Uwah?" Akane could only yelp out as she was forcibly forced into a linen prison!

Tying a knot quickly and sealing it shut, the yakuza wannabe let out a deep chuckle over his triumph. "Ahahaha! Did ya get a good look at da chick's face dere Chuzz?" he said, swinging the bag violently. "It was absolutely priceless!"

Clapping his hands, Chuzzley could only cheer his friend on, finally recovered from his recent blow. "Aww wow, dat _sure_ was a a nice trick ya pulled dere boss! Trappin' her in da bag just like ya did da little blonde lady!" he roared, watching the Tendo heir writhe within her confines. "But whatta we gonna do with her now, huh?" he asked.

Shrugging a little, Yuzuki just continued to swing the sack back and forth. "Ehh, it don't matta. We can throw er' inta da water I guess…" he said, before his eyes lit up. "Yeah, _yeah_… we can do it jus' like _real_ mobster's do! We'll have her, ehehe, sleep wid da fishies!" he smugly stated, slowly making his way over to the edge of the ship.

But before he could accomplish his task, Akane ripped her impromptu jail cell to pieces, leaving the stoutly man wide eyed! "The _hell _you are!" she exclaimed, kicking him back while in midair! She simply stared the man down, slowly maneuvering her way over to him. "A bag? You _thought_ you could beat me with a _bag?_" she _furiously_ questioned; each of her steps rattling the boat as she enclosed on her momentary entrapper. "What kind of idiot are you?" she demanded, smacking him hard, right in the jaw with her clenched fist! In the process of doing so, she accidentally knocking the treasured diamond encrusted bracelet to fall out of his pouch and onto the floor below them. "Do you think I'm weak or something?" Hit. "Do you think I'm just some pathetic _loser_?" Punch. "Do you think I'm so _worthless_ that a stupid little _sack_ could hold me?" Kick to the face. "Well I'll show you… _I'll show you_ how much of a _weak_, _worthless loser_ I am!"

And just then, right as she was charging her ki up to deal the final blow, something unexpected happened! Flying through the air, the foolish idiot that was Chuzzley rammed his leg into her gut, forcing her to zoom away from her prey! "Get away from da boss-man! I ain't gonna let'cha hurt im' ya bully!" he cried, standing in front of her and the battered form of Yuzuki.

Landing hard, Akane grimaced. '_Erk… that idiot can actually hit pretty well when he wants to… and what was that thing he just said?_' Shakily standing up, the blue haired girl wiped a small amount of blood that was forming on her lower lip. "What the hell are you blabbering about? _He_ was the one who was about to try and kill _me_! Don't start acting like I'm picking on some little kid!" she growled. '_How __**dare**__ these_ _idiots try and take the moral high ground!_'

Putting up the best defense he could muster, Chuzzley reaffirmed himself. "I don't care!" he said finitely. "I don't _care_ what da boss did or nothin'! I ain't gonna let ya hurt im', cause he's ma _friend_!"

Simply just standing aghast for a moment, Akane intuitively crossed her arms. "No."

"Huh?" Chuzzley asked.

"No, I'm not letting you," she answered back. "Right now, you're about to deliver some sappy speech, but I'm not gonna let you." Akane answered, slowly directing ki into her hand. "If it's not some dumb story about wanting to get revenge, it's some _sob story_! I hear it every week!" Holding up her ball of energy, power flowed through her! "But you know what? You tried to drown me, and I'm not a big fan of water!" She took one step forward. "So I'm ending this _now_!"

"Uhh… uh oh…" Chuzzley gulped, his plan failing to seemingly even take off.

Looking down at the two, Akane could only just grin as she charged forth at her hapless foes! Running with all the might she thrust her arm forward. "Ogre's Roaring Rage!" she exclaimed as she _rammed_ the fiery shot right into the tiny nosed man's chest. It merely just stayed there for a moment, leaving just enough time for him to let out a "gulp", before blasting _both_ Chuzzley _and _Yuzuki far off into the horizon.

As the two bumbling thieves rode Akane airlines, Chuzzley could only just raise up his hands in a shrugging gesture as he apologized. "Well, gee dere boss. I sure did _try_ at least! But hey, we still got's da jewels!"

"Chuzzley… you _idiot…_" Yuzuki's stated; his eyes widened though. Still flailing through the air, he used his mitts to fondle around for his precious prize, before he realized a certain parcel was missing. "Oh _crap."_

Back with Akane, she simply just smiled as she watched the two dolts fade away off into the sky. "So, what do you guys think of the new name I came up with, huh? I mean, Ranma always seems to _think_ that I'm some sort of big ogre, so why not live up to it?" she asked, slowly turning around. But her smugness was short lived, as she looked just in time to see Shampoo get hit.

* * *

Time seemingly slowed for Shampoo as the water soaked into her and the magics of Jusenkyo's curse took hold. The two hammers could only stare as they were harshly dropped to the floor below, all ideas of defense whisked away as the _terrifying_ sight of Shampoo turning into a cat was burned into their retinas.

Just as quickly as it began, existence rushed forward and the newly minted Chinese feline stared, confused, bewildered and a little frightened. Quickly going about and reassessing her surrounding, she turned around, locating the two Ranmas and started meowing profusely at them. Her cries though came to be unintelligible as only she could understand her kitty-speak. Sadly it was causing some very adverse effects for a certain pair of chúis.

Both hammers were finding themselves stuck in a particularly interesting spot of trouble at the moment. Usually, whenever Ranma came into contact with a cat, he or she would do their best to run, pull it off of them, or just generally _get away_ from the monstrous beasty as soon as possible. But in their current hammer-ized states, immobility was one of their biggest annoyances. They honestly couldn't do anything as the cat blathered on about whatever it was speaking of.

Focusing himself the best he could, the black chúi tried to reason with the foul monstrosity. "S-Shampoo… ya, ya gotta go… ya gotta get outta here! Get some water or somethin'! I- dunno, just- just do it quick!" he exclaimed in a stuttered and broken speech pattern, trying his best to stay calm.

Sadly though, Ranma's female form was not fairing as well as her counterpart. Her thoughts were locked up. She could only stare into the soulless, evil eyes that only held death! It didn't matter that she knew it was Shampoo on the inside; once you become one of those hideous… _creatures_, any sense of true humanity _has_ to be lost on you! It'd be the only way to stay sane! As she looked on, practically hypnotized by the meowing and hissing, Ranma could only mutter incoherently. "No… don't, no- no! Go away! Away! _Away!_ No, no, _no!_" Her screams became frantic, eyes now darting to the ends of their reach. Quickly, her mind started to reminisce; of being tied up, the days in the pit, the cats, the fish… she remembered, she remembered so clearly. There were so many of them, and so little food! They just kept biting! They wouldn't stop, they couldn't stop. It was all, _so_… mildly annoying. She just couldn't take it anymore! It was all driving her mad!

But then, it happened.

The red chúi's eyes formed into slits. Suddenly, Ranma was gone and in her place, was a plucky young kitten who was _quite_ confused! She didn't know where she was and what was worse, she couldn't even walk around! And she _so_ wanted to take a peek at things. She thought she could see water over there! And where there was water, there was bound to be delicious, nutritious, dishes of fishes! And a snack sounded _so_ good right now! But to her surprise, a _huge_ fish was slowly closing in on them! And she wasn't exactly sure if she could eat _this one…_

Vlad was actually _not_ laughing right now. Too confused to even _attempt_ to try and get a chuckle out. While yes his deadly _Spastic Spittle_ attack usually _did_ surprise people, he had never seen someone magically turn into a cat from it! And frankly, that was just _weird_! Mind you, that's coming from him, a Russian mercenary! "Thees… this is confusing Vlad. How did purple girl turn into cat?" he asked, strolling over to her.

Ranma's male form though was not having a good time. Besides the fact that Shampoo was just _not_ taking a hint and leaving, he had noticed that his female counterpart had gone into the cat fist! Though in her current form, she was completely useless! The extra mewling though wasn't helping in his mental state though. '_No- okay, no… I just gotta- I just gotta stay focused! We can- we can still turn this thing around… We just gotta think smart, that's all!' _he thought, trying to hold off the mind altering effects of the cat training. Reaffirming himself, he once more tried to reason with the cat. "S-Shampoo… come on, you gotta, you gotta get outta here… I can't- I can't _think_ with all this going on, you have to…" But then, his eyes widened! "Shamps, watch out!"

Just as the black hammer spoke those words, the talking fish-man finished his short gait and picked up the cat with his thick, webbed digits; staring at it with odd curiosity. "What _are_ you leetle friend? Weren't you just human?" he asked, but flinched as the creature reached out to scratch him. It was a futile effort though. "Ahha! Tiny cat-girl is can understand Vlad! _Very interesting_! How do you work?"

Ryoga all the while simply stood, unsure of just _what_ he should be doing. On one level, he _knew_ that he should probably be helping his allies at this crucial point in the battle but then again, he knew if he got splashed, then he'd be in just as vulnerable a state as Shampoo! So the bandanna brandishing boy merely just waited, biding his time. It was only when he noticed the fish-man picking up the cat that he decided it was the ample time to strike! "Hiya!" he loudly cried as he leaped forth with his umbrella, planning to puncture him to pieces with some pokes!

But Vlad was a lot more aware than Ryoga thought as he managed to closely avoid each strike just in the nick of time! "Haha! Leetle umbrella-man use sneak attack! Nice try, but I am _very_ good at gorilla warfare. I not fall for trick!" he exclaimed as he began to upchuck another set of volatile volleys of water!

Grimacing at his failed attempt to subdue his foe, Ryoga quickly unfurled his umbrella and tried to block the balls that were flying at him. Under normal circumstances, the sharp speed of the water would utterly _destroy_ a meager tool such as his. But the lost boy's weapon was Hibiki approved, meaning it was built to last! Taking the brunt of several hits, the liquid ricocheted, narrowly missing his form. '_Crap, gotta move!_' he thought as his mind reminded him of the dangers. Knowing that he couldn't take the risk, he once again moved himself back to relative safety.

Vlad wasn't going to just stand around though! He was a professional! "Ah, umbrella-man ees smart! You know how block attack! Am impress!" he exclaimed, raising up the still frantic cat to near-face level. "But I no stop now. Once I beat you, there only one left! Then can figure out _other_ great mysteries. Isn't that right, kit- Arrgh!"

But at just that moment, the talking fish-man made a massive mistake! In all the few moments that had passed since her transformation, Shampoo had found herself in a raging wreck. She knew that by staying around Ranma in her state was in no way helpful to them, but with her thought processes completely jumbled from her recent stress and failures, she could only cling to the thought of not wanting to leave her Airen alone. And before she could get a hold of herself, that idiotic water flinger picked her up and started talking down to her! She tried her best to get him to release her, but in her diminutive state, she could do little to combat against his actions. It was only when a certain part-time pig jumped in to intervene did her foe leave an opening. And that's when she went for the finisher! Flinging out her ferocious claws, she slashed him right in the eye!

The mercenary flinched back as the cat scratched him! Screeching at the sharp pain, he flailed his about arms! And, in a moment of rage, he flung the pesky feline with all of his might, not wanting to have the little menace anywhere near him!

Ranma's male let out a shocked gasp as he saw her flying right towards the edge of the boat! "Shampoo!" he yelled, fear fully in his voice. It didn't matter that she was a cat right now. She was in danger and he _needed_ to help her! '_This damn stupid hammer body though! I can't move or anythin'!_'he thought, his fear of losing Shampoo overriding any sense of terror brought on by her feline form.'_Ah come on! She can't go overboard! If she does…_'Rightas Ranma thought this his form began to brighten. '_She might be a little… weird sometimes, but she ain't half bad of a person! She can't- I just- I gotta do somethin'!_' At that, the light he was emitting started to brighten even _further_! The power Shampoo gave him was apparently enough; he was transforming!

As this was all happening, Akane stared on, unsure of how to act on the matter. She had just taken on those two bumbling fools, using her most powerful attack on them. Frankly, she was pretty drained! She needed at least a moment to recoup before even _attempting_ to join in and fight their last opponent, lest she wanted to get herself severely injured. But upon seeing the lavender haired girl turned-cat flying through the air, her reflexes kicked in. Moving as fast as she could, she ran over to Shampoo and leaped up in the air, catching her and saving the feline from a watery grave!

Shampoo all the while had her eyes shut, her arms and legs frantically trying to grasp something but to no avail. Her panic ceased though when she found herself planted firmly in the arms of her blue haired rival. Thankful regardless, she let out a tiny kitty-sigh and meowed in appreciation for being saved from the most deadly of disasters.

The young tomboy though was too preoccupied by the bright light that was coming from several yards away as the black hammer's form twisted on to itself. Its shape was growing and enlarging itself to something _far_ bigger than a hammer. It grew more cylindrical, with a deep hole jutting out from its front, two sharp energized eyes right on the tip and a tiny fuse making itself known on its slightly wider opposite end! Adding more to the oddness was what looked like a wooden box with four metallic wheels materializing underneath the new weapon. Plastered on each individual sides were decorative yin and yang symbols, Ranma's motif.

As the brightness dimmed, one could clearly make out the form of a cannon! Modeled from the old pirate weapons of yore! The young Saotome had _now_ been turned into an armament suitable for any scurvy dog! From the weapons front, an echoing voice could be heard bellowing the following: "Ranma-chúi Battle Mode MK 03: Cannonball Run!"

The rest of the onlookers could only stare agape as the once talking hammer had been turned into a sentient cannon. Vlad was personally amused, clapping his hands with childlike wonder.

"A… cannon?" Akane asked, her brow furrowing as she held Shampoo in her arms.

Said cat _too_ was excited, glad that all of their training had actually pulled of! She wiggled herself in Akane's hands and starting mewling indecipherably.

Ranma's male form just narrowed his eyes. "Hmph, it's pretty neat, _huh_? Shamps and I came up with it durin' the whole few days we had off. I dunno about you guys, but I think it'll really pack a punch!" he exclaimed, moving back and forth in an ostinato-like rhythm. He was getting used to _another_ keen feature this new weapon form had; the ability to actually move via its wheels!

The blue haired girl though wasn't entirely convinced. "But… but wait- hold on! Didn't- didn't Cologne say that you could only transform into things that were related to your original weapon state?" she asked, referring to the information that she was previously informed off. "What the hell does a cannon have to do with a hammer?"

With sage-like wisdom, Ranma did his best to inform the rest of the uncouth plebeians. "It's simple, really! What's a hammer used fer anyway? _Well_, when ya fight, their purpose is ta be blunt things that're used ta smack people!" he exclaimed. "And if that's a hammer, then well, what's a cannon? Think about it. It's a weapon that's purpose is ta _shoot _blunt things that're used ta hit people!"

The entire lot of them (except Shampoo) stayed quiet. An uncomfortable silence wafted itself through the air that was only alleviated by the continuing meows of both Shampoo and Ranma's female form. It was only when a certain lost boy broke in that the awkwardness ended. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

Ranma just stared at him indignantly. "O cram it, pig-breath! You're just _jealous!_" he said, as he turned his eyes to look at the blue fish-person in front of him. "Listen guys, I wanna take care a this jerk myself! I think I can now, since I'm able to move."

Akane wouldn't take _that_ though. She didn't want to simply be left out! "Hey, now hold on a minute! Are you telling us that we should just stand around like a bunch idiots on the sidelines?" she asked, her tone growing annoyed.

"No, that ain't what I'm sayin' ya uncute tomboy!" Ranma said, sounding irritated, though an odd bit of uncertainty seemed to seep through. "It's just... it's just that there's more important stuff ta take care of is all!" the talking cannon uttered. "Like uh, ya need ta get Shampoo some water! Turn her back ta human and junk!" he said, though his nerves were holding up decently. Having cats around was simply _not_ good for him! Besides, he _really_ wanted to fight this guy mono e mono. He was tired of feeling so damn useless lately! It was time to burn off steam!

"And Ryoga… I guess, well, no one's steering the ship, so you can- wait- that's a dumb idea! Akane, do that too!" he said, figuring that putting his trust unto the captaining skills of someone who could get lost in a closest was not the most intelligent of thoughts. Knowing him, they'd end up at Atlantis!

"_Hey_!" the lost boy bellowed, moving a step closer to the sentient pirate weapon. "I swear. I'll-"

Completely ignoring the bandanna brandishing boy's incoming threat too, Ranma just barked out another order. "Ryoga, you just ah- try not be useless!" he said, before he came up with a real idea! "No, wait! You can get all the other guys who are still knocked out outta here!" he said, referring to the various beaten and battered crewmembers that were still conked out for the count. "Also, can ya get the other chúi-me away? She's freakin' me the hell out!"

The lost boy though just flinched back in shock. The complete _nerve _of that bastard! "What?Are you- are you _serious_? Do you think I'm your maid or-"

But just then, Akane's voice jumped in, once again not allowing him to finish. "Come on Ryoga, we gotta hurry! Ranma may be an idiot, but he can handle himself! Let him duke it out while we get everything that's actually important done!"

"Ah!- but- I!-" Ryoga was flabbergasted. He shifted his arms between the cannon and the blue haired girl. "No- I- _I hate my life_…" and with that he went to work.

As this was all happening, Vlad was kindly waiting for the three teens to finish their conversation. From his point of view, this would have certainly been considered sloppy work, but at the same time, he was honest to God being given an opportunity to be in a one on one fight with a talking cannon. He'd probably only get to do that two, maybe three times in his life. The only thing that worried him was that his employers might not exactly approve of his lollygagging

Turning his head around, he blinked when he noticed that they were nowhere in sight. In fact, the two were entirely missing from the scene! He started look around frantically. "Oh wait! No, no! Where did leetle fat-man go? He have Vlad's payment!" That was when he realized, the blue haired girl was the one who was fighting them! Was he so preoccupied in his own amused world that he completely missed their demise? "_Oh no- no…_ you all ruin _everything_! My dotchka's… I- I _keel_ you!" he exclaimed, noticing though that the girl had _just_ left. He prepared himself to rush after her, when an explosion ripped its way right beside him!

"Not so fast ya fish-faced freak! You're goin' up against _me_!" the talking cannon shouted, having just fired a warning shot of what looked like a large ball of ki; destroying a fat chunk of the deck next to the Russian mercenary.

As this was happening, Ryoga was carefully pulling away the assorted bodies of the fallen crewmates that littered the upper portion of the Water Dragon, making sure to not injure them along the way. "Hey! What the hell are you doing? You'll sink the ship!" he uttered in a frantic tone.

Ranma though, wasn't having _any _of that. "This punk's been a thorn in our side for a good _thirty minutes_ now! It's time ta take the bastard down with the ole' one-two cannonball to the face!" he bellowed; determination smirking.

"But-"

"_Cannonball to the face_! Now go deal with the other me. I kinda really wanna finish this stupid fight," Ranma's male form interrupted, not even giving Ryoga a _chance_ to refute.

And at that, the two charged! Radioactive Fish-man and sentient cannon battling it out in a struggle of the ages, with victory their only prize. Ranma's swift wheels deftly dodged around Vlad's attempts at punching him, as he moved around like a miniature automobile. But the task was growing more and more difficult for him as his opponent's already aggravated state only helped to make his swift strikes that much more aggressive!

"Stand still Cannon-man! Vlad must crush you!" the mercenary uttered as he jibed at the young Saotome. Though not capable to get in a direct hit in, he _was _able to get lucky with slashing bits of shavings off of his enemy with his blade-like fins!

Ranma was slightly worried about the fact that he hadn't really planned all this out properly. Looking around, he realized that his bulky form just _wasn't_ suited for the medium sized ship, as crates, debris and the occasional unconscious body that Ryoga was still working to get to, blocked his path. It was starting to get infuriating! What was worse though, was that every time his fish-lipped foe managed to hit him, he actual somehow felt hurt! He wondered how that worked, since his hammer form never suffered from that problem before. It was almost as if the magical system that transmogrified him into a talking tool was completely arbitrary and nonsensical! Though his wits quickly came to the conclusion that it had to have something to do with a piece of him actually being ripped off; he just hoped his ki could regenerate it!

It was right then when he found himself cornered between a barrel and the railing of the boat that he realized he was in actual trouble though, as he was unable to move! Stuck between the old fish-man and the sea!

"Cannon-man is a annoying! I will end this _now_!" the Russian yelled, clenching his fist and raising it upward. He was going to crack that pirate-y pain to pieces!

Eyes narrowing, knowing that if he didn't act soon he would take considerable damage, Ranma jutted his barrel upward! With a hard thrust he slammed himself right into his enemy's jaw, leaving a sickening cracking sound in its wake! Sadly, it still did not halt Vlad's attack entirely though, merely just diverting his punch to the cannon's wooden chassis, splintering off its right wheel!

Both of them flinched back in pain as the strikes struck, with the radioactive fish-man stumbling away clutching his mandibles. This, as well as his stabbed eye, only helped to worsen the excess amount of pain that had been delivered to his face today. Ranma though was fairing little better, as a good chunk of his body was ripped apart. Frankly, he figured it probably _wasn't_ very good for him.

"Gahh! _Come on_! What the hell's goin' on? Why do I have ta start feelin' pain _now_? No matter how ya spin it, it doesn't make a lick a sense!" he screamed out as he tried to move in his three legged form. He still was able to do so, but his balance was off and everything was generally more awkward for him. This was not the ideal situation.

Vlad let out a large belly laugh as he wiped a bit of blood that dribbling down his lips, glad to see at least some of his efforts were not in vain. "Hehe, talking cannon person may have nerves of steel, but he still proves he _has_ nerves! Haha!" he exclaimed, cracking his knuckles. "Once I am done with you, I vill break _other_ friends as well! Then look around boat… There maybe _something_ on here I could geeve her…" he threatened, though his overall concerns for his daughter's present taking priority.

The pirate weapon's eyes hardened at the statement. He wasn't going to allow that! "I don't think so! I ain't gonna go down _that_ easy! I'm gonna show ya that I can kick _anyone's_ butt!" he exclaimed, slowly and wobbly moving towards his enemy. "Whether I'm human, or a three legged cannon, it don't matter! You ain't goin' through me!" he bellowed in his echoing voice, determination filling him. Victory _wasn't_ just his only reward here. He had something to prove! And the only way to do it was to beat up that gigantic Russian fish!

Elsewhere, as this was all happening, safe inside the confines of the ship, Ryoga had finished gathering up all of the rest of the groaning crewmates and had started to tend to their surprisingly minor wounds; having spent years perfecting his own form of impromptu first-aid. To his own annoyance though, a certain catty red chúi was lying right next to him as he wrapped up another injured person with an extra bandanna, just mewling away like the intrigued feline she was. "I hate you Ranma. I just- I just _really_ hate you. For years you've just continued to ruin and destroy my life. You are, _literally_, the bane of my existence. I- I can't not tell you this enough."

"Meow?" Ranma's female form inquisitively asked. She _really_ wondered where all those pretty spotted tails were coming from! They looked like fun!

"You're just a complete and utter God damn monster, you know that, right?"

In another portion of the ship, Akane was hurriedly boiling some water for her feline friend, inwardly letting out a sigh that Ranma wasn't there to see her. She just _knew_ if he was he'd make a jab about how her cooking skills are so terrible that she couldn't even get _this_ task done. Thankfully though she only had the eager eyes of Shampoo as her company, as she stared at the liquid that was _just_ starting to bubble. "Now hold on, let me just-"

But before the blue haired girl could finish, the cat leaped, jumping into the water and nigh instantly transforming back into her human form! Standing before Akane was a sopping wet and very naked Shampoo. "Ah, aiyah! Thank you too too much Akane!" she exclaimed, a huge amount of relief in her voice before determination replaced it. "But I's got to go! Airen needs me!" And with that, she rushed off!

The youngest Tendo though, in-between covering her eyes, just yelled out, "At least wrap a towel around yourself!" She simply let out a sigh. _**'Whatever**__, apparently __**I**__ have a boat I need to go captain…'_

Back with Ranma, his fight with Vladimir had only escalated. As both of them neither now wanted to get close to each other, they started to lob their own respective forms' projectiles. The fish-man, with his globs of fast and furious spittle, and Ranma, who was firing out his own cannonball ki blasts! Both had their own distinct advantages. While slightly less powerful, Vlad was shooting his shots out at a rapid rate, occasionally causing dangerous dents to dot the weapon's form! Ranma though wasn't going down that easy though! While none of his balls had actually managed to smack into his foe, slivers of the deck's shrapnel were able to leave cuts that certainly stung!

Both of them were reaching their limits. The pirate tool had simply just _hadn't _had enough time to train his new form and the Russian mercenary was now quite tuckered out. All the fighting was finally getting to him. Both of them knew that this was going to end, and soon.

Preparing themselves both for one final strike, the sun overhead beamed down. Vlad's bulging neck and Ranma's elongated barrel were both ready to shoot their full load. Their eyes sharpened; this was it! But just then, a tiny sparkle shined through as the light bounced around. It was the special diamond encrusted bracelet, lying right on the deck! Letting out a gasp, the mercenary couldn't believe it! By some good fortune the little fat man had left his prize behind! Not even thinking of the consequences, he dived for it! "My dotchka's!-" he yelped, grabbing onto to the parcel and holding it to himself, smiling all the while. He _knew_ she would like this.

But sadly for him, Ranma was fully ready to strike! "Dotchka'?... _Dotchka_ think ya shouldn't a let your guard down?" And with that, the final blow was struck- Ranma fired! A blinding ball of cocky ki was shot right at the fish-man, colliding into his chest and exploding on impact, sending the shocked man flying, and mimicking the exact same fate as his employers!

Vlad simply couldn't _believe_ how amateurish of a mistake he made! But it all sort of happened in the spur of the moment! He just _knew_ he had to get that bracelet regardless of the cost! Still though, as he flew through the air, he couldn't _help_ but chastise himself. He knew that with his poked eye, shattered jaw and now broken ribs, it was going to probably take _hours_ for him to heal! "Ah well. At least mein daughter vill be happy…" he said, examining the bracelet closely. But then, he noticed something. "Wait a moment!" Upon closer inspection, he saw that the diamonds were, in fact, made of cheap plastic, easily discernible from the real deal! The item was merely just a dime store children's toy! "But- but the fat-man!... he said… he said…" Vlad then poingiantly realized something else: Yuzuki was an idiot.

He screamed.

Back on the ship, Shampoo rushed to the scene, slightly late on arrival. (Simply because she begrudgingly had to go and "clothe" herself, as the various prudes demanded.) The rampant destruction around them made her thankful that the boat hadn't capsized. But any sort of relief was instantly shaken out of her as she looked at the black cannon before her! "Airen!" she yelled, rushing after him while donned in a pair of slacks and a T-shirt. She didn't exactly have time to make herself pretty.

Ranma was trying his best to show he wasn't wincing, which actually was quite easy since he couldn't really indicate anything, what with his limited body movement. His eyes brightened up though upon seeing the purple haired girl rushing towards him. "Haha! Did ya get a good look at that idiot's face when I blasted him Shampoo? It was priceless!" he exclaimed in a smug matter, completely avoiding the fact that he was heavily damaged.

The Chinese girl though was far more distraught, inspecting the various bumps and missing piecing that caused the cannon to be in its current state. "Ranma… You's- you's look hurt real bad!" she exclaimed.

The Caribbean cannon though just blinked. "Eh, this? Pfft, don't worry about it! I'm _a-okay_!" Of course though, he was lying, but it's not like saying otherwise would have helped the situation.

"But-"

Before the lavender haired girl could finish though, a certain lost boy interrupted. "Geez Saotome, what the hell happened to you? I thought you said you didn't need my help?" he asked in a rather annoyed and nonchalant matter.

Held within his hands, the red chúi was a bit disorientated. "Oh man… what the hell did I _miss_?" she asked, finally returned to normal from her cat-fist state.

"Other Ranma!" Shampoo gasped, taking the hammer from Ryoga as he handed it off to her.

"Yah, turned out dangling one of my bandanna's over her head for half a minute did the trick. You're damn _welcome_ Ranma." the young Hibiki said, quite annoyed while crossing his arms indignantly.

"Just- just cram it pig-breath," she said, still coming out her daze. "I don't need any a this right now, okay?"

As the two of them bickered back and forth, a sharp light started to emanate off of the nautical weapon. It was starting to transform again. Brightness shined and illuminated the general vicinity, as within the span of a quick moment, the damaged cannon was morphed into a fully repaired chúi!

Quickly grabbing him midair, before he could hit the ground, Shampoo twisted her gaze between the two. "Airens!" she exclaimed happily. Inspecting his form she noticed that he was perfectly fine; no cracks or anything!

"Heh, kinda figgered I'd be okay. It's like ya Grandma said, I'm made a ki! So I probably just used some extra ta repair myself!" Ranma's male form replied, letting out a _hearty_ laugh, proud of his genius and fighting abilities!

For a brief moment, his eyes flickered.

Shampoo let out a slight gasp. "What was-"

But before Shampoo could finish what she was saying, a gentleman made his way onto the deck, shocked at the damage that was surrounding him! It was one of the men they had talked to earlier, the ship's captain, awake finally! "Oh my, things _certainly_ have gotten out of hand here, that's for certain."

By the time he had said this, several other members of the crew were making their away out, groaning and moaning all the while.

Ryoga just grunted. "_Great,_ _now_ they wake up."

The captain took another look around him and again at his bandaged form. Personally he found it rather odd that his wrappings appeared to look somewhat like tiger stripes, and strangely enough, felt like the ever sensual velour, but he had other matters to attend to that were far more pressing. "I think this could all _very much so_ use an explanation," he remarked, inwardly noting that he'd need to contact his superiors about this once they reached China.

The four teens stared between each other. This was going to take a _while_.

Situated above at the helm of the ship, Akane stood, boat manual in one hand, wheel in the other, doing her best to steer the cruiser to with all of her capabilities. "What the hell is a '_star… board_? Damn it! If someone doesn't get here quick we're gonna end up in Atlantis!"

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**7/20/11: Edited by R.T. Stephens and myself.**


	11. Arguments, ambivalence, and altercations

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own the rights to the works of Rumiko Takahashi, I am simply writing this for my sheer enjoyment.

**A/N: Hey there guys! I'm back again to bring you the tenth (eleventh?) installment of this story! I hope ya enjoy it!**

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Five days had past since Shampoo and the other's journey to Mount Phoenix had begun, with the lot of them now tucked away deep in the Anhui region of China; currently done traveling for the day and now starting to make camp. Explaining their side of the story of as to why the ship they went on was put under siege wasn't exactly the most pleasant of experiences for them, and it certainly made their short time with their Triad "companions" that much tenser. Luckily though, they made it through roughly unscathed, and a mere two days later they were promptly dumped off at Shanghai. And while although they did have several additional adventures in the area, (One of them involving Akane and an oddly skilled chicken poacher.) the trip thus far had been thankfully quiet for all of them … with the exception of their continuous yapping of course.

"…And so that's the story a the first time me an my Pop's had ta fight a werewolf." Ranma's male form said, currently lying on top of a sleeping bag as the rest moved about.

Ryoga just gave the black chúi an eye, as he put up one of the tents. "And tell me again, what the _hell_ does that have to do with _anything_?" He demanded, as he pounded in another peg.

"No, ya don't get it! We got it all figured out!" The red hammer exclaimed, she as well lying next to her counterpart. "Ya see, the fish-person-guy must a been buddies with the wolf-dude! That's why he attacked us!" She explained, in full earnest and seriousness.

"Course though, we met the Were-guy a few weeks after me an' Pop's took the food from that _other_ pack a smart wolves that I talked bout'." The black chúi stated, trying to elaborate. "I dunno how it all goes together, but we're pretty sure everything leads back ta why we were attacked by a fish." There was a momentary bit of awkward silence, before he finished up. "_Listen_, all I'm sayin' is that we gotta be on the lookout fer any talkin' manatees. The way things are going these guys are just getting' bigger!"

"Well…it- it's good idea as any, Airens!" Shampoo said, sitting off to the side next to their warm fire. She tried her best to reply enthusiastically, but was quite busy paying attention to the three rabbits that were nearly done cooking. Despite some recent strange goings on, the girl's mood had improved _tremendously_ since her arrival back in her homeland. Not only was she happy to see (semi) familiar sights, but the fluidity of her native tongue had come in _quite_ handy on multiple occasions. Things were finally looking up for them!... The only real problem she had noticed though, was that one oddity with Ranma's eyes blinking out momentarily back on the boat. She knew that his ki was supposed to run dry sometime within a month, but it's hardly even been over a week! So she had absolutely _nothing_ to worry about! There was _no_ need to raise any sort of alarm. It probably just a fluke… right?

"Can we _please_ just stop talking about that stuff?" Akane asked; walking in to the scene while carrying a set of chopped firewood to be used later, thankfully snapping the purple haired girl out of her reverie. "I swear if I _ever_ have to go sailing again it'll be _too soon_!" She yelped, checking off her experience at the helm of the boat as another reason for why water was such an _evil _creation.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever… I'll cram it I _guess_." The black hammer said, rolling his ki eyes and going back to being bored.

Having finally finished cooking the group's meal, and started serving it to the other two tired teens, the girl with the lavender motif made her way over to the hammers and took a seat, having noticed their uninterested state, and deciding to try and drum up some conversation. "_So Ranmas_, how you both been liking books you reading? Is Great-Grandmother's spell still been working okays?"

The red hammer enthusiastically chimed in. "Oh _heck_ yeah, it's workin' _great_! I can't believe your Grandma came up with a spell that'll magically turn the pages _for you_! All we really gotta do is ask and it changes them right up!" The girl-Ranma uttered, marveled by the magical sight. "Though, I gotta admit, it _is_ kinda _freaky_..."

"Still though, it's neat!" the obsidian chúi interjected before going on about the actual literature they had been covering "But uh, anyway, I've kinda been readin' that one story with the girl and the dragonfly… I mean, it's pretty good even if its got a bunch a junk about love and stuff…" He stated, shifting his eyes away, trying not to seem bashful. His mother wouldn't _exactly_ like him reading such "unmanly" things as romance novels.

Shampoo's eyes brightened up upon hearing this. "Ooh! I _love_ that book! I first read it many years ago, it too, too good!" The young girl replied, smiling down at the two as she ate her meal. "And yous read it all in Chinese _too_?"

The black hammer responded. "Yeah, it's _sorta_ tough, but I think we're managin'. It's the least we can do if we're not really able ta go trainin' and stuff." He said with a grumble. "Man, it's the little things ya miss… I'm tellin' ya, when I get back ta normal I'm gonna start practicin' in overtime!"

"You're damn right that's what's gonna happen!" The other hammer jumped in. "I'm gonna be preppin' myself so much that by the time I see Happy again, I'll be able ta punch him so hard that I'll dent his skull!" She affirmed, eyes sharpening a little. She wanted some _real_ revenge!

"I… I help you toos Ranmas, if you want that is…" Shampoo stated hesitantly, still unsure if she was overstepping any boundaries. She had to keep reminding herself that if she made one false move, she could _completely_ ruin her chances here! Treading light was the _key_ to success!

The black chúi quickly answered. "Aw a course ya can Shamps! Didn't I already tell ya that before? I'm up fer trainin' with ya anytime! You just name it!" He said in an enthusiastic manner.

Shampoo tried to hide the blush growing on her face as she smiled broadly at her Airen. "Okay then Ranmas! Shampoo make sure she ready by then! She already thinking of too, too strong skull smashing moves she can teach yous!" She exclaimed, nodding her head sagely.

"Good! I'm plannin' on usin' like, at least a dozen!" The red hammer said. She wanted to thoroughly make sure the guy's brain was bruised! "But umm, there's one thing sorta… About the story we've been readin', there was this part that I just didn't get and I was wonderin' if ya could…"

Over off several feet away, Akane sat, eating her food and only partially paying attention to whatever matter Ryoga was rambling on about, she herself far too busy watching Shampoo _flirt_ with her fiancé. Because that's what it was, there was not denying it. She was openly flirting with her supposed husband-to-be in front of her face. Normally, this would be of no _real_ surprise, but considering the circumstances, it left the blue haired girl a bit flustered. In the past week and a half or so, she had grown to have a bit more respect for the Chinese girl, enough to be on civil terms with her for several occasions at least. But now, as she looked on to the lot of them acting so… _chummy _with each other_, _she started to feel the pangs of jealousy well up inside her, and a lot of her usual tendencies started come forth again. She honestly thought that her watchful eyes could be put a bit at ease for a little while, as she thought no one would _really_ want to go after Ranma as a hammer… right? But now that she was seeing the purple haired girl still trying at it, albeit with _slightly _altered tactics, some of the words of advice Mrs. Saotome told her started to run once again through her mind.

Listening in and hearing the two laughing and giggling, the girl's eyes started to twitch. '_Just_ _what are they?… What are they doing? What is she?- Oh- oh __**no.**__ I can't __**believe **__them__**, **__the nerve she has! Doing it right in my face! And what's worse, Ranma's actually going along with it!'_ That particular thought was probably the most unsettling for Akane. It was _really_ starting to worry her just how "buddy buddy" both Ranma and the Chinese girl had been getting, especially in such a short span of time. While the blue haired girl often chastised the guy for letting himself get groped so easily by the Shampoo, she at least took comfort in knowing that he always tried to make her back off. But now though that they were actually getting along…

'_I mean, he's an idiot and everything, but- but we're __**engaged**__! He's not supposed to be hanging around girls like that! And __**Shampoo**__ shouldn't be hanging off of __**him**__!'_ Akane started to clutch the hem of her dress. '_I mean_ _we almost got married for God's sakes. Had a wedding and everything!... mind you she crashed it, but still!_ _Shouldn't that be the big warning sign that says; "Back off"? _Ryoga, as he was going on about something most likely unimportant; noted that she was very close to ripping off part of her fabric at this point. '_And now she's coming on to him, even when he's in that- that hammer-form-thing! Well no! I'm not gonna allow that!_ _I'm putting a stop to this __**now**__.'_

"And uh, so I was thinking… Maybe- maybe when this all settles down- if you want to that is! We could, you know, you and me… Akane?" The part-time pig's words fell on deaf ears, as the young Tendo seemed to be quite more involved in something else at the moment, much to his chagrin. Ryoga sadly could only look on, mouth half agape as he was shot down not even half way through his sentence, as she got up and left him. If you looked closely, you could notice a slightly dark aura of depression ki forming around him as he sullenly went back to his meal.

Walking over a few steps, the blue haired girl crossed her arms and stared down at the two chúis, obviously annoyed. "_So,_ you're going to be training with Shampoo now, are you Ranma? First time _I'm_ hearing of this… What about that whole thing you have with fighting girls, _hmm_?" She asked abrasively, trying to catch him off guard as best she could.

Both Ranmas did their best impression of a "gulp" upon looking at Akane's stern features. They weren't entirely sure what brought things on, but they tried their best to defend themselves. "H-hey… I've fought plenty a girls before!" Ranma's male form exclaimed. "I ain't got no problem with it! I don't know what yer talkin' bout!" He affirmed, realizing that an angry Akane was never really a good Akane, especially now with that "Ogre" move of hers!

"_Really_? So I guess going out and training with Shampoo _is_ okay then? No double standards there at all…" Akane said, rolling her eyes. "But what about all those times _I_ wanted you to train with _me_, _huh_?" She asked while leaning slightly forward over the two hammers, a bit of the hurt she was feeling about the matter seeping through in her words. "Seriously! I ask you over a dozen times, and you _always_ say no! Shampoo mentions it once, and you're completely up for it!" She exclaimed, crossing her arms and turning away.

Shampoo sneered slightly at the way the young Tendo was acting. While she _did_ owe her for saving her life a few days back, this was a _big_ chance! She just wanted to get at least a_ little _alone time with Ranma! Was that too much to ask? "_Akane_ no get to fight with Airen cause she no strong enough! Is too too big worry that he break you if hit real hard!" The Chinese Amazon said, her eyes sharply glaring at the girl.

The Tendo grew slightly more red faced from the insult, and took a step forward. If _that_ was how she wanted to play this little game, then that was _fine_ with her! "Hey now, I've been working my butt off for months to get better! Mind _you,_ without _any_ help at all! Everything you've been seeing was self taught!" She exclaimed, clenching her fist. She wasn't sure if that statement made her sound accomplished, or like an amateur. "But if you really want me to show you just how _weak_ I am, I'm _perfectly_ willing to let you!" She yelled, fully prepared to let the sparks go flying off.

The red chúi though knew that she needed to enact some damage control, and quick! If any of them were to start _really_ fighting each other, the chance of her getting back to normal anytime soon would probably drop to zero! "He- hey you two, why don't ya cut it out already and stuff? We don't need _any_ fightin' like this! It ain't gonna get us anywhere!" She proclaimed, her meager mediating skills being put to the test. Luckily though, she managed to nab the two hot headed girl's attention. "Listen uh, Akane, you're actually probably right sorta!" Shampoo's face instantly grew stricken from the remark. "I've kinda been a bit unfair, I guess… You've been workin' _real_ hard lately, I've seen it! And it's not like Pop's has been puttin' up much of a challenge these days… So how bout I spend time and train with both a ya's? Everything'll work out _way_ better that way!"

"Ah! But- but Airen…"

"_Well,_ I suppose that sounds just _fine_, I guess." Akane said; glad to be able to at least partially block the lavender haired girl's advances, as well as actually genuinely happy about being able to go toe to toe with Ranma! That was something she _really_ hadn't been able to do enough in her life! Besides, she needed to show that what Shampoo was getting wasn't _that_ special. She couldn't have the girl growing any more egotistical on her! '_Still, I don't really like how things are going lately… I __**definitely**__ need to get him away from that girl… that stupid new curse is messing everything up!' _Akane just shook her head slightly. '_It's fine though, it's fine. Everything's gonna work out in the end, I know it! That __**idiot**__ just needs to confess again, and then everything'll turn out okay! Once everyone knows that he __**wants**__ to be with me, they'll back off. They'll have too!' _The girl just let out another sigh._ 'Geez, everyone around here can be __**so**__ blind sometimes. I'm glad at least __**I'm**__ not like that!'_

Across the way, Ryoga sat, muttering to himself; saying things along the line of "smooth move", and "I'm an idiot".

"So it's settled then!" The black hammer uttered. "Once everythin' get's back ta normal I'll start practicin' extra with both of you! This is gonna be great!" He said, internally letting out a sigh of relief that there was at least _one_ crisis luckily averted. He was feeling _far_ too drained to even try and contemplate what would happen if Shampoo and Akane were to try and beat the tar out of each other.

"I- I guess, Airen…" Shampoo sullenly said, tilting her head downward as inside she berated what just happened. '_Stupid stupid, __**stupid **__Akane!… Why did she have to mess things up? I __**just**__ wanted a little along time with my Airen! She get's to see him __**everyday**__! Why does she always have to ruin anything special we could have?...' _The purple haired girl though just gritted her teeth and tried to calm herself a little. '_I can't show that I'm angry though! If she wants to play games I'll let her! I may be trying to win Ranma a bit differently than I usually do, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna act like some pushover!'_

As the rest of the group went on about their various ideas for training and whatnot, Ryoga continued to eat his meager meal, as he strewed over the fact that Akane shot him down faster than a fly getting swatted by a trained martial artist. All _just_ so she could get into an argument with the Chinese girl! He internally reasoned that he _really_ needed to step up his game. Especially considering that fact that, what they were arguing over, _once again_, was Ranma! As he fumed at this, his mind started to wander, bringing him to think about Shampoo. Frankly, he really didn't have all that much of an opinion of the girl; they seldom spoke with each other. But if she was a valid outlet to let the young Tendo slip away from Ranma's clutches, he was entirely grateful to her! Sadly though, it seemed that Akane gained the upper hand, and pushed Shampoo to the wayside, all just for the Saotome heir.

Letting out a sigh, Ryoga started to fidget, he felt quite awkward just being the odd man out of the situation, though it wasn't exactly something he wasn't used to, social situations were never really his forte. But he was getting better! Seemingly just recently he had found himself _far_ more assertive in varying situations, and it looked like it really wooed people! His face grew redder than a tomato just _thinking_ of certain comments that a certain blue haired girl had made when he tried to perform his heroic deeds. '_If only I could muster up that courage when actually __**talking**__ to Akane, then I could __**really**__ dazzle her!' _Ryoga just sighed though, as his constant stuttering issues around the girl continued to plague him, no matter what he did.

His aura darkened even further than he had been already. If things kept up, he might never actually get a chance to confess to her! Let alone be able to be part of a relationship! All in all, things were looking _down_ for the boy. But as he thought this, he absently noticed something far off in the distance. His keen eyes were able to make out two figures, looming over in the shadows a hill across. They could be made out just barely, but the still somewhat high sun alleviated things a little, still though, they were certainly there. He momentarily thought about bringing it up to the group, but upon realizing that the rest of the lot were going on and talking about something involving schedules and time managing, he thought it'd best if he kept quiet. Besides, he had more important matters to attend to! Such as trying to figure out a cure for his _terribly terrible_ social anxiety around women! Some matters just have to come first!

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"And so- and so- I- I _threw_ everything at the guy, _including_ the kitchen sink!"

"I- haha! _No, no!_ You _didn't_ do that, _did you_? Oh- oh you did! I can't- You're completely crazy! Hehe!"

Just at that moment, two particular teens laughed and chattered as they walked their way through the entrance of the Cat Café. Mousse and Ukyo had _finally_ returned from their long and overly extended trip away from Nerima, as since in the time intervening their last noted conversation, various circumstances had caused the lot of them to be pushed back away from their so wanted destination. But in the end, it still didn't offset their overall jovial attitudes, as in the recent days, both of them had grown to at least tolerate, if not enjoy each other's company somewhat. And just right now they were in the midst of having fun a time recounting a story where Mousse had to take on a certain powerful fighter back in the village. While yes, at first there was general indifference, and even tension between the two, things for the most part changed upon finally really getting to know one and other. It had turned out that they had found that both had quite a bit in common, besides both of their interests martial arts, and cooking, it turned out that each of them had a fondness for slightly moldy cabbage, oddly shaped clocks, and new age music. Thus, through these strange and bizarre niche interests, they were able to form a bond that, if nothing else, allowed them to laugh at the various humorous situations they had put themselves through.

Cologne both seemingly gasped and sighed in relief upon seeing the two of them arrive. She was quite glad to know that they were actually safe. She had been growing more and more worried about them, especially since they had been gone for over a week! "Mr. Part-time, Ms. Kuonji! You're back! I thought that was your ki, but I wasn't entirely sure! Just _where_ have you both been?" She wondrously asked, hopping over from the kitchen to question them. Though internally, she noticed that they looked to be _quite_ ragged in appearance. She braced herself for the worst.

To her surprise though, Mousse let out another laugh, whether from a joke, or possibly from simply cracking, Cologne wasn't sure. After a moment though he quickly calmed down and replied to her. "Hehe, sorry- _sorry_ old ghoul… it's- it's a _long _story. Things just sort of, _happened _while we were away. I don't even know how to explain where the volcano fit into things…"

Ukyo joined in too. "Basically though, long story short, we didn't see heads or tails of Kiima anywhere. Not that we're done looking, that is." She said, crossing her arms in an annoyed manner. Finding this lady was becoming _far_ too much of a hassle. "Anyway, we came back to recoup for a while, and figure everything out. I'm guessing Ranchan's already left?" She asked, eyes peering down over to the ancient woman.

Cologne was quite curious about their rather upbeat attitudes towards things. Considering what she had just been told, not only had they failed in trying to find their mark, but they looked like they had just spent the last few nights living in a garbage dump! '_They certainly smell like it, at least…_' she mentally noted. Still, she'd inquire about that relatively soon, but she wasn't just going to ignore the girl's question. "Yes… Son-in-law left a bit after you two did." She said, ushering them in and offering the two a seat. Luckily, business was slow at the moment, and she didn't have to worry about serving anyone up. "Frankly though, I was actually expecting both of you to be there to seem them off. You were only supposed to be gone a day! Again, just _what_ happened?"

Mousse, seemingly actually relaxed for once around the elderly woman, (partially because she was far more interesting at what was going on, than being stern) did his best to explain. "Well- well it's a _really_ long story. To make it as short as possible, we tracked down some people that we _thought_ might have fit the bill, but it actually turned out to be Herb!"

Cologne gasped. "You- you ran into the Musk prince? I- I do _hope_ you didn't do anything that could be considered… _foolish_," She threatened, eyes narrowing at the boy, her regular demeanor returning to her.

The part-time duck wasn't having any of that though, and he quickly waved her off. "No- no, what happened was, he- she- well that's another matter all together… had this issue, and we thought it might've lead us somewhere."

"It didn't." Ukyo chimed in.

"It- it _really_ didn't…" The Chinese boy said, his calm and easy demeanor slipping away, allowing him to grimace for a moment. "_Anyway_, we can go more into details later, but can you fill us in just what's been happening since we've been away?" Mousse asked, explaining their odd misadventure would probably take _hours_.

The elderly woman merely flinched back a bit. '_It certainly seems like these two had been… __**busy**__._' She though; while drumming her hand on the table as she digested this new information. She wanted to pressure them to give out more information about things, but considering they had just _now_ sat down and tried to relax after an unspecified amount of time in probable peril, she knew she wouldn't exactly get a comprehensive, of detailed recounting of their journey. So she supposed, at least for the moment anyway, that she would do her best to follow through on their request.

Hopping down from the chair she was sitting from, Cologne began to pace, as a serious expression grew on her face. "Things have been moving fast since both of your absence. I said earlier that Shampoo and Son-in-law had already left, and as of now, are in China, but there have been several bumpy instances going along since then." She stopped, tilting her head over to them.

Sobering up, Ukyo questioned. "What exactly has been happening?"

"Well, first off, Mr. Saotome and his companion Soun have been _entirely_ useless." The Amazonian matriarch said, in deadpan. "He said he wanted to bring his friend into the hunt with him, but they've just been lazing about like a bunch of oafs! Their big way of 'helping out searching' involved them just hanging around several exotic _bars_!" She spat, starting her pacing once again. "They're incompetence astounds me. I tried to motivate them somewhat, but I figure they'd probably do more actual _harm_ than good. So I'm thinking that it's best to just cut our losses. From here on out, it's essentially just _you two_ actively looking for Kiima."

Both the okonomiyaki chef and Chinese gourmet grew soured expressions on their faces upon hearing this. Though, frankly, it was mostly unsurprising. Genma was a degenerate louse, and if he could get others to do his work for him, he'd always go for it in a heartbeat, so he probably figured since so many others were trying to help, he could just slack off. "Oooh, I _swear_!... Just- just give me _ten_ minutes with the loser! I'll get him to work and put him straight!" Ukyo yelped, cracking her knuckles as a vein appeared on her forehead. Ranma's father was not exactly _high_ on the people she respected.

"Yes… well, that's would be one matter taken care of, I suppose…"Cologne stated, drolly. "Maybe you _could _whip them into shape though. Still; there are bigger matters at hand that we have to worry about." She said, tapping her cane all of once.

"What happened that was worse that that?" Mousse asked, crossing his arms. The quality of his day was rapidly becoming poorer.

"Well, _this_ particular piece of information originates from an associate of mine who called me up." Cologne stated, coughing. "_Apparently_ Shampoo and the others got into a bit of a scuffle while aboard their ship to China. They were attacked."

"What? Did they-" Ukyo gasped, but was quickly answered by the Elder.

"They're _fine_; it was just a minor fight, really. Nothing they couldn't handle on any other day. The information I was given was a bit sketchy, but it involved pirates, or something or another." Cologne said, waving her hand off. "The _real_ annoyance is that the people who took all of them were… Trade partners of mine, so to speak. And now, because of a _little_ damaged cargo caused by some ruffians, my name's been completely tarnished! I'm only going to be paid a _third_ from now on of what I usually earn for my shipments!" She exclaimed, anger seeping through in her voice.

Mousse just snorted and rolled his eyes. "Truly, _truly_ a tragedy, what will we _ever_ do?"

The Matriarch wasn't in the mood to hear _that_ though. "We'll _start_ by redacting it all from your future pay, _sonny_! "

The glasses wearing boy almost chocked on his tongue. "But- no I- You can't- I- I- _ooooooooh._" He moaned, his shoulders sagging in defeat before he could even raise a proper argument. He knew there was no getting around this woman; she was out to make as much of a living hell out of his life as possible.

Ukyo grimaced a second time, patting Mousse on the shoulder in a sign of sympathy. It seemed that some of the stories he told of the Elder and her dislike of him weren't _entirely_ fabrications. "So, is it just bad news, or has _anything_ good happened since we've been gone?" She asked, with a mild bit of annoyance in her voice directed at the other woman.

Cologne's features darkened again, for a currently unknown reason. "Good? I suppose, but there's something far more important that I need to mention beforehand, you may need to brace yourself for this." She said, her pacing pattern quickening a bit. "Before I even begin _that_, I need to properly inform both of you about an issue with that we've been trying to downplay since this odd occurrence began." She stopped to once gain look at the two in the face. "As I explained to all of you before, Ranma's hammer forms are entirely comprised of ki- in that his human body was turned into energy, and modified into its current state."

"Yeah, yeah, you _already_ said all this, Old Ghoul." The part-time duck stated; his shoulders still hunched in half defeat.

Cologne decided not to openly reprimand him, this time at least. "Well, good, you understand that part at least, but the next step in logic that you have to understand is how ki works." She said, going into her lecture-mode. "Besides the fact that it's why we can shoot blasts of energy out of our bodies, it's also our life force. We replenish it by eating, by sleeping, by resting in general. If we _don't_ restore it, we feel sick, and drained. If you're ki runs low for too long, you run the risk of injury, and even _death_."

"…What does this have to do with Ranchan though?" Ukyo asked, her voice growing slowly more and more concerned.

"Well, as you know, Ranma isn't human now. And as such, common human necessities are now superfluous and not required. Neither of them has want for sleep, or food, because those are not things that a hammer wouldn't exactly _need_." Cologne explained, going further. "But because of that, both of the two Ranmas' energy isn't replenishing itself, it's stagnating."

"I think I know where you're going with this." Mousse stated, a different sort of frown now appearing on his face.

"Because we use ki on a daily basis just to survive, we slowly drain, and regain it back all the same." Cologne paused for a moment, readying herself should Ukyo do something that might be considered rash. "But because neither of the Ranmas have a way to refresh themselves, their life force is running out."

The okonomiyaki chef jumped out of her seat. "Are- are you saying?... are you saying that Ranchan's _dying_?" She demanded, her voice growing more and more frightened and panicked with each word.

Cologne just sighed. "I- yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. But up to this point though, it was not that much of an issue, hardly even being worth bringing up in a conversation at all!" She exclaimed, waving her arms about, and trying to ease the other girl.

It wasn't working.

"At the rate that things were going at, I figured that either of the two Saotome's could stay in their forms for roughly a month, without any real detriment done to their health... But, a new issue has been added into the equation, that isn't entirely working in favor for us."

"What are you getting on to now, Old Ghoul?" The robes-wearing boy asked, he _really_ didn't want to have to put up with this crap so soon after getting back! Couldn't he get at least a _little_ rest?

"What I'm getting on to is _this_;" Cologne began to articulate herself. "I forgot to take into account the fact that because of all the battles and abilities both Ranmas forms have been doing and using, their energy will drain out _faster_ than I expected." She explained, watching as the other girl in the room grew paler. "It was foolhardy of me to not consider, but as it stands now, depending on just how much Ranma fights and drains his energy, his life may be put into danger _much_ sooner than expected."

Ukyo was awestruck, having _just_ had this massive amount of terrible information placed in front of her, and simply not knowing what to do with it all! Even though she had just stood up, she _really_ felt the need to take a seat again, as she tried to contemplate everything that had just been placed on her plate. "So- so Ranchan's goingto _die_?" She asked directing her worried gaze at the Amazon Elder.

"Not if I have any say in it!" Cologne exclaimed, hopping over several feet over, and staring the younger girl in the face. "Listen, I don't believe it's gotten _that_ severe as of yet. They just need to conserve until they get to Mount Phoenix. I would _personally_ like to tell them that myself, but I have no real ways or means to contact any of them." She grumbled, quite annoyed. She _really_ wished she had thought to give them a phone to bring with them.

Eyes widening up, the bandolier brandishing chef knew what she had to do. Standing up once again, she slightly wobbled towards the door. "Then- then that's what I'll do! I'll go after them all! I'll tell them! I'll warn them! I've got-" She didn't even give time to finish her sentence, as she started to rush off.

At the moment though, Mousse walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder, stopping her in her tracks. "Now just _hold on_ a minute." He said, trying to calm her down. "You can't just go and run off like that, you'll never make it anyway! You don't even know where they are!"

"Mount Phoenix!- I know- I can- Mousse! It's Ranchan, he's in _trouble_!" The chef exclaimed, looking at him in a severely distraught manner.

Mousse frowned slightly, and tried to look at her sympathetically. Arm still holding her shoulder, he tried to reason further. "Listen, I understand you want to go and make sure that he's safe and all, but you- hell, _neither_ of us are in any real shape to be heading out like that again so soon!" He said, glancing over themselves, both of them looking quite ragged. "And come on, let's not forget, they're in China! _How_ were you exactly planning on getting over there anyway?" He asked, forming a slight incredulous smile on her face.

"Well…" Ukyo blushed slightly, and turned her features away, not quite sure how to answer.

Mousse continued on, glad that she was thinking clearer. "Besides, I don't really think we have to worry all too much. If there's one thing that I know Saotome's got, is _stupid_ luck. He'll make it through just fine." He stopped for a moment, remembering something. "And isn't there your shop that you have to think about anyway? Didn't you say that you had a friend of yours running it right now?"

Ukyo gasped, realizing that she completely forgot that Konatsu was currently running the Ucchan! "Oh- oh no! I didn't- oh God, that idiot's probably enacted his 90% off okonomiyaki sale already! I need- I need to go see how much damage he's done!" She exclaimed, her current worry now momentarily replaced by another.

"Considering what you told me about him, that's _probably_ not a bad idea." The Chinese boy stated, chuckling.

"Right, right…" Ukyo stated in an exasperated voice, once again making her way over to the door. "We'll- we'll go over everything in a little while. I just- I just need to go check in on things." She said, rubbing the side of her head slightly, before turning to Cologne. "I do have one quick question though; didn't you say that you _did_ have _some_ good news, or something at least?"

The elderly woman's eyes brightened slightly, and nodded her head. "Actually yes, there is a bit!" Not even giving any of them the time to ask, she went on. "A few days ago, Mrs. Saotome came around to check in, asking questions, and you know what? I told her to screw off!"

* * *

At a distance overlooking the camp where Ranma and the others were resting up, two shadowy, cloaked figures were watching in anticipation.

"Are they still just sitting there?" One asked to the other, his deep and gravelly voice sounding like two stones being smashed together.

"Yes, they've clearly settled down for the evening." The other watcher replied, turning to his companion. "There is no other better opportunity, _now_ is the time! We must strike!" He articulated by slamming his fist into his hand.

"Yes… yes, we've got to-" the former of them started, then paused. "We've got to- we've-" He stopped again. "Oh- okay, okay, hold on, can we stop this? Please? Can we just you know, stop this?" The other veiled form asked, quickly pulling down his hood to reveal the visage one Masara. "Where's my canteen anyway? I sound like a rock monster, or something." He stated, starting to look around their small camp area.

The other ally just let out an uppity, disgruntled snort, as he pulled down _his_ hood, bringing into view the face of Koruma. "Damn it Mas, why the hell did you have to ruin everything like that? We we're doing good up until you just blew it!" He asked, annoyed while placing his hands upon his hips and staring his partner down.

"And just what the hell were we _doing_ anyway?" Kiima's favored archer asked, having found his water holder and started going to town. "And what's with the cloaks, huh? Do you _know_ just how hard it is to fly in these things?"

Walking over, Koruma continued to look down on the other boy with contempt. "It's called _disguising _ourselves, you idiot! Hiding the fact that we're half-bird super-people didn't exactly work out last time, so now we've gotta be extra careful!" He reasoned, trying to get through to the thick skull of his friend.

Masara though just rolled his eyes. "So to hide ourselves, we walk around in suspicious clothing that completely covers our bodies and faces?" He asked, giving the sword wielding boy a questioning glare while staring down at the hindrance he was trying to take off. "I mean we look like stupid wizards! You don't think that'd draw attention?"

"No but… well… yeah, I guess, I don't know… This is what they do in all the stories I've read!" The other countered back.

"Yeah, and I'm sure it works _real_ well for them, until they get _caught_!" Masara exclaimed, starting to tap his foot. "What kind of stories can you even read, anyway? We live on a Mountain in one of the most desolated parts of China! It's not like there's a bookstore around us or anything." He asked, genuinely curious about the matter.

Koruma simply just crossed his arms and turned his head away. "I- well, I import them! You know, when I can…" He stated, his face growing slightly red. "Listen, okay! Maybe it wasn't the _smartest_ ideas I ever came up with."

"I could have told you that half a week ago when people out on the street were asking us just what the hell we were doing!"

"Shut up!" The sword wielder exclaimed, not liking being interrupted. "I'm just trying to be extra careful! _Remember_, we're in the next _phase_! Besides, this is the first _real_ mission that Captain Kiima has allowed us to do on our own, and I don't want to blow it!" He exclaimed, gesticulating his arms wildly, to show emphasis. "She left us this _really_ important task to give us the chance to prove that we aren't just a couple of bumbling idiots! This is our chance! I mean come on, we both know it!"

"Okay, a few questions, just what the hell is this 'phase' thing all about, huh? And what's this with you going on with our big 'chance' anyway? We're pretty much second in command since we're vassals to the most powerful woman in the Phoenix tribe. I don't _really_ think there's much going up that we can do." Masara stated, taking another fine sip of his water, and letting out a refreshed sigh.

Koruma just growled gutturally, as he went to explain once more. "We're in the next phase because Captain _Kiima_ said we're in the next phase! I don't know what it means, but that's what she said!" He exclaimed, annoyed that he kept on having to pound that knowledge into his friend. "And come on! You really just don't get the _big_ picture, do you? Sure, we may be pretty high up or so now, but if we play our cards right, in a few years, both of us won't have to be playing second fiddle anymore! We won't have to answer to _anyone!_... Well, except Lord Saffron, but that's not for a while!_" _He exclaimed while clenching his fists, a fire now burning inside him. "Isn't that what you want? Both of us will finally be top dogs!"

"Ehh, I could probably take or leave the idea. I really don't have much of a problem with following orders." The archer stated, standing up and patting himself down.

The darker skinned boy simply shook his head. "You _always_ get like this, you know? You've just got no motivation at all when the boss isn't around!" He paced around for a bit before raising his index finger up. "Well then how about you go for this? If you're so keen on following orders, then from now on until we're told otherwise, _I'm_ the boss! And since I'm the boss, I'm telling you that you need to actually put your head on straight so we can get a move on!"

Masara groaned irritably as he heard those words. "I think _someone_ here has a Napoleon complex, don't they?" Not wanting to waste anymore time on such a useless matter though, he continued on. "Anyway, just what the hell are we supposed to be doing here?"

Kiima's primary swordsman just let out another sigh, and rubbed his temples. "I've already told you this a thousand times! We're here to monitor all of that 'Shampoo girl's movements and actions, and when the right time comes, kidnap those talking hammers from her!" He exclaimed, enthusiasm now filling him.

"And tell me again, exactly; just what the hell does Captain Kiima want to do with those things? They look pretty damn _stupid_ to me." The mildly irritated Masara asked, walking over a few steps and starting to perform some stretching.

The sword wielding half-avian opened his mouth once, and then closed it, unsure of just exactly how to answer the question. "I… don't know. She never really said _why_ she needs them or whatever. She's been all weird ever since we went to Japan." He said, crossing his arms and furrowing his brow. It was just gonna be a much needed vacation for all of them, what with all the troubles they had been going though… But somehow it turned into _this_ fiasco. "First she decided to just up and leave us for a few days, then she came back with that orb and started acting all strange and stuff!" Koruma just let out a sigh. "Then she asked us to stalk this girl, and I don't know…" Shaking his head a few times, he finished up. "But it's probably _really_ important! We're going to have to be _extra_ careful if we want to pull this off!" He exclaimed, trying to make his partner become a bit more serious.

"Luckily though we've got our ace in the hole, so we don't really have much to worry about, right?"

"Yeah, well, I guess that _is _true, but that doesn't mean we should slack off!" Koruma continued to chastise, not wanting to have to worry about his partner getting knocked out half way through the fight, and leaving him to fend for himself. (A matter that, during their days in their youth, was all too familiar to him.)

Masara just rolled his eyes again. "You really just worry too much. I think that's half the reason why Kiima hardly ever leaves us alone in the first place!" He stated, walking on over to the other boy, and placed his arm around his shoulder, in a mentoring fashion. "Listen, you gotta have _confidence _in yourself! It's the best way to handle things, all right?" He asked, briefly turning his eyes to Koruma.

Seeing him merely just nod, the archer clapped his hands, continuing his show. "_Besides_, we've got this all in the bag anyway. We'll go in, ransack the place, steal those things, and be outta there. It'll be a piece of cake." He exclaimed.

Nodding his head several times, Koruma slowly clenched his fist. "Yeah... _yeah_! Let's do this!"

"_Good_. That's what I like to hear. I wanna get this over with!" Masara exclaimed, taking the water left heating over by the fire, and splashing he and his companion, reverting them back to their true, half-bird forms.

The swordsman's eye though just slightly twitched. "You know, a little warning next time would be nice." He stated while stretching his wings, they had been getting quite the workout lately, what with all the traveling back and forth between China and Japan that they had been doing.

"We don't have time for that if we want to get this done! I'm tired of all this stupid stuff, so quit your complaining." The bowman quickly countered in a somewhat more energized tone than he'd previously been speaking in. "One thing that I'm wondering though… are we going to have enough time to take these punks out? I know it's still pretty early and all, but the sun is bound to set pretty soon, and I don't have to remind you of the last time we had to fight in the dark, do I?"

"No, no you don't." Koruma stated dryly. "In fact, I do believe we came to an agreement to never speak of that again." He said, letting out a shudder. "_Anyway_, I think we should be fine. It's spring; it's getting lighter out, and besides, we're basically just doing a hit and run." He said, trying to think reasonably about the situation, like any good _boss_ would.

"_Uh-huh_… so, are we good to go then? Do we need anything else?" Masara asked, frankly just wanting to get this over with.

"Wait- wait, hold on!" the supposed leader exclaimed, before letting out a cough, and raising his arms up, and turning away for a moment.

"What are you-"

"_Kakaka! Kakaka! Ka! Ka!" _Koruma menacingly yelped out, sharply shooting out a bevy of high pitched screeches while swiping his hands around in the air, interrupting his companion's inquiry. "Do- did I look fierce? Did I strike terror into you at all?"

Mas simply just rolled his eyes at his friend's annoying antics, before replying in deadpan. "Yes, yes. I was _completely _floored by your performance, you're an acting genius." He internally sighed; having a partner into theatrics wasn't exactly the most fun of things at times.

"So I was scary?"

"Yes."

"Terrifying?"

"Mind blowingly so."

"Good! _Now_ we can go!"

* * *

The ramblings and conversation between Shampoo and the group had died down slightly as their meal finished, and the rest of them set things up for the evening. There were a few mumblings about how they, just possibly, made a mistake and started settling down a bit too early. While slightly passed seven in the evening, the sun was still beaming down on them, and was likely to be doing so for quite a while longer; this in turn lead to some slight moping on the Ranmas' part regarding issues with "lost ground', but the rest of them were far too ensconced in their own thoughts to take much notice.

Shampoo was still reeling from her slight loss to Akane, and was quite confused at what she should be doing. The general attitude between the two now feeling tense and rather odd; she wasn't sure how to feel exactly. Things had been getting a lot easier between them in the last few days, but it now felt like it was once again back to the same old slog of angry looks and petty insults, something that frustrated her to no end, as being stuck with an angry traveling companion wasn't something that she would generally view as fun. It was silly, she supposed, thinking that both of them could be put on good terms when they were pining over the same person. Letting out a sigh though, the purple haired girl just shrugged, wondering to herself just why exactly things had to be so complicated.

Akane was much in the same boat. (A word that she wouldn't exactly like to be associated with currently) In her most basic mindset, it was simple. Shampoo was trying, _once again_, to steal Ranma. Her first instinct was simply to combat and instigate her, so she couldn't get any weird thoughts! That idea though was a lot harder to process when you had to be in the same general vicinity as her for a long period of time. Still, she wasn't wrong! She had _every_ right to be angry! As much as she didn't want to admit it, Ranma meant at least _something_ to her, and so she just _had_ to make sure that that "Chinese bimbo" didn't try to schmooze her way on to him! Letting out a sigh, she shook her head as well. She just wished it didn't make things seem to awkward.

Ryoga had tried his best to stir up a conversation with the youngest Tendo, intent on trying to at least rebound properly and not give up on her. He wanted to make some progress, damn it! Sadly though, any sort of attempts that he went for fell on deaf ears, as most of the time he would either just get a light mumble of disinterest, or worse, she would simply ignore him entirely and focus on either Ranma or Shampoo. This in and of itself really wasn't the most ideal of situations for him. '_I just don't get it! What does he have that I don't? Why is he worth paying more attention to than __**me**__? Damn you Ranma! Even when you're a motionless object who can't even walk, you're __**still**__ a completely despicable Casanova! What the hell am I going to __**do**__?'_ He monologued internally; trying to his best to come up with a valid reason, but ultimately just about each of them fell flat. '_I mean I'm nice, I'm caring, I always try and make her happy, yet all she sees in me as is a friend! It doesn't make any sense at all!'_

As the part-time pig went over the various ways his plan wasn't working, both Ranmas sat idly, staring off at the lack of conversation or emotion going on at the moment, something that was quite strange for this particular set of teens. The two chúis were once again put into a rather odd situation, (something that had been happening on a quite more frequent basis as of late) in that in order to keep morale high, they both needed to come up with something to say that would ease all their minds. But awkwardly enough, the Ranmas weren't much ones for talking. While sure, they certainly had been yapping on a bit more than usual, it was for the most part something that would be expected from someone who had lost their means to move; with their only real faculty being the ability to flap their nonexistent gums. Sadly though, both of them felt that they didn't exactly have a high enough charisma value to properly combat _this_ situation. Still, they needed to take a risk, and make sure that things wouldn't be so stupidly tense for the rest of the journey.

"Hey guys! Why the heck are ya mopin' around so much? We gotta keep ourselves sharp!" The red Ranma exclaimed, trying to see if what she said got through to any of them. She only noticed a slight perking of ears here and there. "Just think about it! With any luck we'll be at Mount Phoenix in half a week maybe! And who know _what's_ gonna go down over there? It could be _anything_!" She exclaimed, not realizing that what she said might not have been the most inspiring speech around.

Shampoo was just about to interject with her usual fluffy words of encouragement, but was quickly shot down when Ryoga began. "Oh _please_ Saotome, come on! If you listened to any of the stories I told you, you'll know that that whole place is pretty much just full of wimps!" He said, recalling back to the various recent tales he spoke about Kiima and her like. "The only real problem we're gonna have is actually finding the orb and making sure it's safe. I mean we've _all_ had a few times when magic hasn't exactly worked well for us." He stated with a half chuckle, easing the mood a bit more, thankfully. "Really though, we've got this in the bag. The only thing we've got to worry about is how boring trip home will be. Everyone else we'll have to fight is gonna be a bunch of weaklings!"

It was at that moment that an explosion ruptured out around them; catching the entire lot of mostly pre-occupied teens unnoticed! As this happened, up in the sky two bird creatures floated around; with one of them shooting what must have been some sort of ki enhanced bow and arrow! "Kakaka! Give us the hammer, give us the hammer!" A beast that looked Koruma exclaimed. He and his partner rushed downward to try and quickly grab the Ranmas from under the lots' noses.

Letting out a gasp of both fear and confusion, Shampoo got up and ran faster than she thought was mortally possible, beating the bird brained fool to the touch and managing to get her hands on her Ariens before than her opponent.

"Holy heck, it's those two idiots that always follow Kiima around and junk! Just what the hell are you guys doin'?" The male Saotome said. Both hammers were frankly simply agog, standing (floating, rather) in front them were not only two of Kiima's personal assistants, but two of Kiima's guards that were openly attacking them without anyone actually having trying to look for them! Half of their work was essentially done for them! The black chúi was still a little confused though. Why were they being attacked all of a sudden like this now?

The two of them just laughed and "ka'd" for several moments, before Masara answered back. "We're under strict orders to bring the hammers back to our captain, and that's what we're gonna do!" He yelped, determination in his voice.

Shampoo gripped the two chúis slightly tighter than she had before, memories of her short time spent as a mind controlled slave to these tribesmen coming back to her. She didn't want to admit it, but she was starting to get cold feet! The purple haired girl honestly wasn't expecting to have to deal with the matter so soon, but luckily though, her main worry was nowhere in sight, at least in theory. One of the main things that was flustering her at the moment, was how her unique energy tracking ability was seemingly failing her. She wasn't able to detect either of their new assailants, leading to why they were attacked so out of the blue. "Shampoo no let you take Airens no matter what!" She exclaimed, twisting her head around a bit, as if looking for something. "Where is stupid egg-lady at anyway, you dumb bird-peoples? Shampoo have score to settle with her!" She demanded, part of that small fear melting away, igniting a fire in her belly.

Koruma though wasn't playing any games, and quickly charged at the young Amazon warrior, sword first! "She's- not- here- right- now!-" He yelled in spurts as he jutted his blade at Shampoo, to his frustration always managing to just narrowly miss her. "Die landling scum!" He uttered, thrashing downward at the girl! Shampoo though was no slouch, and managed to block the attack with her two hammers, leaving both of them stuck in a stalemate!

Masara, despite not exactly wanting to be there at the moment, wasn't going to let an opportunity to end this quickly go to waste. "That's it, just stand still…" He said, whipping out another arrow and pulling back the drawstring… and then- _firing_!

Shampoo could only gasp, trapped underneath the surprising weight of her enemy's assault. Gritting her teeth, she prepared herself for the sharp stabbing pain that the pointy object would inflict.

Said pain though never happened, as mid-flight, Akane leapt into action; jumping forward and intercepting the arrow with a quick chop! Something strange though occurred, when upon striking the object, a wave of energy shot forth from it, knocking the girl right off the ground and blasting her several feet away!

"Uwaah! The blue haired Tendo screamed, as she landed back and fell hard on her rear, confusion mildly plastered on her face. "What the- what the _hell_ was that?" She asked, grimacing slightly from the pain. "Oh! And you owe me a _second time_, Shampoo!" Despite her not entirely cool landing mere moments ago, Akane still managed to gloat; a small, yet smug smile on her face.

The purple haired girl just sneered, and with that bit of anger in her, shoved her weight forward; knocking back Koruma's blade and slamming the top of the black chúi's head right into his gut! "Is Akane going to start keeping _count_?" She asked, her sharpened eyes glaring catlike at her rival.

Her head held high, the young Tendo responded snootily. "Well, if I _have_ to…"

Meanwhile the sword wielding lieutenant was having a considerably worse time than the rest of them. "Guwak!" He yelled, as he flew back right into a tree. He was quite sure there was most likely at least _one_ broken rib caused by that assault.

"_Damn it_, that _idiot_…" Masara mumbled, taking his attack up higher out of reach, and starting to fling his arrows. Though not directly hitting their marks- _yet_, it caused quite the ruckus, as upon impact with the ground, the strange force of the blast caused the land to be directly uprooted!

As the rest of the teens dodged about, the black hammer really wanted to know about just what exactly was hitting them. "The heck _are_ those things ya keep tryin' ta stab us with? I don't remember seein' ya do anything like that _last time!"_

Getting up from where he was struck, the sword wielding warrior just let out a gruff chuckle while wiping away a bit of blood from his mouth. "Hehe, you like it? Both me and him learned it a little while back. We use our ki to channel energy into our weapons, making them pack ten times more the punch!" He uttered, taking up a fighting stance once again.

The red chúi's ki eyes widened slightly upon hearing this. "You mean kinda like with the Orb of Transmutation?" She asked as Shampoo began hopping up to try and reach where Masara was. Sadly though, her endeavor weren't exactly the easiest, as the only means to reach him were some nearby trees.

"Uhh, sure, I guess?" The darker skinned boy semi-asked, semi-stated, as he lunged after Akane, figuring taking her out would be of best interest in the long run, even if she wasn't exactly his intended goal. Besides, it seemed that Masara already had his hands full with the other girl, and he didn't want to intrude.

Said archer though somewhat wished his friend _would_ assist him in his task, as he was growing quite a bit frustrated at not getting a hit in on the purple haired girl. What was even slightly more troubling, was how she, at this very moment, was dashing up a tree to try and reach him, something that he wouldn't entirely want. Figuring though that his current strategy just _wasn't_ working for him, he opted to go for an old and faithful attack of his. "You may be to get out of the way for now, but I don't think you can dodge forever!" He yelled, as he expanded his dark wings outward, and with machine-like efficiently, starting to short out a barrage of sharp black feathers!

Shampoo, despite her Airen's most certain disapproval, at times was very grateful for her cat-like reflexes. They let her hop from branch to branch with almost as much swiftness and ease as her cursed form! _Almost_ though was the key word here, and as her opponent started to fire his forceful feathers, her balance failed; causing her to start to fall several dozen feet to the ground below her, as the blades nicked and cut her in various areas. "Tah!" She hissed, as small trickles of blood began to seep from her, and she braced herself.

"Shampoo! You gotta- you gotta-" the purple haired girl though was already far already one step ahead from the red chúi, and she began to quickly push her ki into the crimson tool.

With growing ease from training, the hammer quickly began to transform! "Ranma-chúi battle mode MK 02: bimbo smasher!" She exclaimed, as she took on her toy mallet form!

Seconds away from the ground, the young Chinese girl _slammed_ the weapon into the earth, cause a shockwave to unleash around them! Using the leverage from her position, Shampoo quickly front flipped and landed smoothly on her feet! Laughing with both glee and triumph, she raised both hammers to face level, not even bothering to take time to steady herself. "Hehehe, Airens, it _work!_" She said, smiling at the two.

"What the heck did you all just do?" Akane asked, currently in mid-strife with the sword-wielding Koruma, not quite as having much trouble with reaching him, due to his more close range combat style.

Going into her sage-like lecture mode, the purple haired girl did her best to try and explain. "Girl-Airen's super-hammer mode is real special." She said, twirling the toy-like weapon in her hand a few times. "It suppose to be use to stun peoples, but we's figure out it can do more!"

The red hammer continued off. "Yep! Even though I look pretty stupid right now, I can use this mode ta deflect hits and stuff! Ya know, make them not hurt as badly as they should!" She exclaimed, a mild amount of enthusiasm in her voice. "I can even help make a soft landing, like what happened just now!"

All the while, the black chúi was paying far more attention to the task at hand, still watching their bird-like enemy floating in the sky above them. If he wouldn't let them get close, then, Ranma figured it was time to fight fire with fire, and go long range himself! "Hey Shampoo! Rev me up will ya? I wanna bust these chumps so we can interrogate them and stuff!" He asked, mere moments later feeling ki start to slowly flow through him. Sadly though, this form took a bit longer than his counterpart's.

Coinciding to this, Koruma was becoming _more_ and _more_ annoyed; this blue haired girl was surprisingly fast! He didn't remember her being like this last time! His blade had only now managed to snag a few cuts on her, and he'd even started to shoot his feathers! Nothing though seemed to help, as she dodged and eluded all the same. He _really_ hoped that she would tire herself out soon, playing cat and mouse was not something he found particularly fun.

Masara was in much the same situation, as even though the girl had started to finally stand still for once, all of his strikes fell on flat, as each time he let out a shot, the annoying Amazon would block it with that kid's toy of hers! It just made him want to rush down there and handle things himself! Though, being trained mostly for long range, he kept himself controlled, and carried on, not losing his determination- yet anyway.

But sadly for him, Shampoo had as well improved her skills n the art of transforming the male-chúi too, and as such, in practically no time flat, the black hammer began to glow. Releasing him from her hand, the purple haired girl could only smile as he exclaimed the following; "Ranma-chúi battle mode MK 03: Cannonball, run!" Taking up once again his nautical form, the, as of now, _cannon_, began strutting itself back and forth, before directing his gaze at the archer. "Oh, hehe, you're gonna get it _now_ ya bird-brained idiot!" He exclaimed, really glad that he now had a form that would, at least while stuck in his current predicament, allow him to partake in the foray as well.

Both the bowmen and the blade warrior were slightly confused at the turn of events. It would seem that one of their marks had transformed itself into some sort of firing weapon, and was now threatening the lighter skinned of the boys at this very instant! "Just what the hell are-" Before Masara though could fully articulate his question, a medium sized blast of energy shot forth from the cannon, only to just narrowly missing him, and causing the trained warrior to stumble a bit. "Wah! Waaah! Geez! What the _hell_ are you?" He demanded further, his gaze shifting between his partner and his enemy.

Letting off two additional quick shots upwards toward his floating enemy, the male Ranma quickly replied; "They'll be plenty a time ta talk when all this is over! Until then, just stop movin' around!" He said; internally glad that he was actually getting some real target practice in.

Akane meanwhile was fairing quite well under the circumstances; which genuinely made her smile knowing that she could actually go toe to toe against a set of enemies who, at one time, were able to kidnap her with pathetic ease. Ever since the failed wedding fiasco, the blue haired girl had turned to training as a way to relieve some of the pent up stress in her life, and ultimately, it had been good for her. Her competence in the art had practically increased thrice fold since then, and her only real worry at the moment, was simply trying to figure out whether she should conserve her energy by taking down her sword using foe hit by hit, or risk it all by unleashing an "Ogre's roaring rage" to finish everything off. '_Well… this guy __**is**__ starting to make me a bit angry... I guess I have my answer right there!'_ Slamming her foot right into the other man's chest and knocking him back a bit, Akane started to focus her energy; a smile continually growing on her face all the while.

Koruma had just about had it, both physically _and_ mentally. He'd tried every trick in his book up to this point! It was only supposed to be a hit and run! '_Why did I go and __**announce**_ _that we were attacking them? That was stupid! But Damn it, that's what the guy always do in the stories, and they've helped me so far!... mostly.' _The bird-warrior simply just shook his head, as he got ready for another go, but paused when he noticed the glow coming from his enemy's hand. The boy quickly flinched back a bit; ready to brace himself for what would assuredly hurt him, until he simply stopped and shrugged. _'Ah, screw it; let's just get this over with.'_ "Excelsior!"

The word echoed out all around them, causing most to pause, including a certain eternally lost boy. Ryoga had simply just been standing around. There was no proper or better way to describe it. For some reason, upon seeing the arrival of the lots' newest set of foes, he just up and froze. He wanted desperately to join in and help, but for some reason he just _couldn't_! An internal conflict was raging inside him, but no matter what he willed, he couldn't move a single muscle! It was only until he heard that absurd phrase did something click in him. Yes! It was all so simple now! Why didn't he see it before? With a new fiery determination in him, he rushed off!

Akane could feel it, despite having to fend off Koruma while concentrating her energy; she could _feel_ that the red hot ki in her hand was ready to burst. Her foe's nerdy and odd phrase completely forgotten from her while in thought. It didn't matter anyway; she was going to end this! As she had the thought, the blue haired girl rushed forward! "I'm getting real sick of having to put up you!" She paused for not even half a moment to grin, '_Oh, this is gonna be my best one-liner yet_!' "Get ready, cause you're about to taste the Ogre's roaring-"

"Quit assaulting an innocent, you fiend!" Came the boisterous cry of Ryoga, as he intercepted Akane prior to the final blow being struck. Before the girl could even question what was going on, the bandanna wearing boy grabbed her by the shoulder, and tossed her several yards away!

"Uahh!" Akane screamed; a mixture of fear, confusion, and slight pain in her voice. '_Did Ryoga ju- just attack me?' _Were the baffled words that continually looped through her mind in the few seconds of her flight. Her bigger issue though, was just about to hit her, as her eyes quickly glanced downward and noticed that her hand still contained explosive energy she was just about to unleash on Koruma! Not even having time to react or let out a gasp; Akane hit the ground hard, and through indirect contact via her body jostling around, the ogre's roaring rage went off seconds later, causing a fiery bang to erupt right on top of her!

Roughly simultaneously as this was all happening, Shampoo and the two Ranmas were finally just about ready to finish off their bow wielding Phoenix foe. The purple haired girl had managed to catch the warrior diving in low for a moment, and quickly took her chance against him, repeatedly beating his form with her stunning chúi. At this very moment, the Ranma-cannon was charging up one final assault to end this scuffle; building up his energy until- he- _fired_! Not leaving any time for his enemy to worm away, he shot him with a bombastic blast that caused Masara's body to _skid_ right across the ground; creating a terrible scar in the earth, and forcing his feathery frame right into unconsciousness.

"Aw heck yeah, I knew that'd work! You freeze em', I shoot em', simple as that!" The nautical pirate weapon exclaimed; his eyes directed at Shampoo, who was smiling eagerly.

"Mmm-hmm! Is too too good plan! We no lose with it now!" the young Chinese Amazon happily remarked; glad to know that their first target was taken care of. "_Akane_ just need to hurry up and beat other persons, then we's can start asking questions!"

It was right then though, half a second after a certain blue haired girl was tossed, that a low scream came from what sounded like Ryoga's mouth, and with each passing moment it was getting louder! "Oh great, what the heck does _he_ want? I thought pig-breath was just sitting around doin' nothin'?" Ranma's female form asked; all the while still in her toy-mode.

"You despicable villains, justice will apprehend you!" The bandanna wearing boy exclaimed, as he rushed on over to the rest of them.

"Oh God, what the hell is he doing?" Ranma's male form asked in deadpan; his eyes turning to Shampoo. But before any of them could react, an explosion interrupted their thoughts! Now more focused, and able to look around his surroundings, he could only gasp as he caught a brief glimpse of the blue haired girl prior to the blast going off. "Akane!"

Before he could rev off to her though, a certain porcine warrior intercepted his path. "Not so fast, you monstrous miscreant, you're raging rampage is a blight on this beautiful day! Prepare yourself, this conflict ends here!" With that, an epic struggle between two long-term rivals renewed itself once again! As Ranma was swiftly wheeling over to attend to the youngest Tendo, Ryoga, using his ever resourceful intellect, exploiting the one true and ultimate flaw in the cannon's design! Palms open, and knees buckled, the lost thrashed forward, and…

tipped Ranma over.

"Whawah!" Was the male weapon's smart reply, as he unexpectedly lost balance and fell on to his side!

"Another criminal caught in the name of righteousness!" Ryoga exclaimed, head held high with hands on his hips. "That only leaves one…" His eyes narrowly directed themselves over to Shampoo.

Wheel's spinning rapidly but to no avail; Ranma's eyes darted around as he tried to bring to light just what was going on. In literally less than a span of a minute, the group had gone from practically having their enemies on the ropes, to being blown up and forced to eat dirt, respectively. What was worse though; was that Ryoga seemed to be the cause of it all! "Hey pig-for-brains, what the hell are you doing? Have ya gone crazy or somethin'?"

Koruma all the while was simply just dusting himself off and chuckling lightly; happy to see things turn around so easily. "Oh, he's not crazy; it's just that your little friend over there is under the influence… so to speak! Hehe."

Shampoo's gripped on her hammer tightened slightly. "What? You two- you use?..." She took a step back a bit; leaving the question still floating in the air. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know what she was alluding to though.

Masara simply groaned, as he sat in the crater that his body had formed around him. "Did you _really_ have to wait so long to get him helping? You could have just said the trigger word and been done with it! I swear, I think I might have broken my spine!" He said; slowly getting up and licking his wounds as he took up a loose stance.

"Oh _crap_, this ain't good…" The red-chúi did not like what she was seeing; three against one was not particularly favorable odds to be put up against. "Just what the hell's goin' on here?"

"Isn't it obvious? We're putting an end to your vile acts, just like any good citizen would!" Ryoga continued to stare his lest enemy down, as he took another step forward; readying himself to strike!

Koruma still just had a beaming smile on his face. "It's just like what you're thinking, hammer-girl. You're little friend got egged by Captain Kiima!"

"Wa-wait, just hold the phone a second," The male-Ranma said; eyes widening at the statement." Are you sayin' that pig-breath got sucked inta one a those things that made Shampoo go all loopy that one time?" The pirate cannon asked; his form now reduced to oscillating in place as he couldn't properly move forward. This was particularly disconcerting to him, as he really wanted to make sure that Akane was all right. She didn't _seem_ to be burnt to a crisp or anything, but that didn't mean she wasn't hurt! "Aww geez, am I blind or somethin'? I really should a seen this comin'! I knew he was actin' funky!"

The sword wielding warrior merely just nodded as he smiled at the weapon's antics. "Yes, that's exactly what happened. You're friend put up a valiant effort when we attacked him, but some scuffing up and a few well lobbed eggs and he was trapped!"

Almost half-way recovered from his cannon blast, Masara joined in. "Yeah, guy practically snapped my arm in two before we could pin him down with a few shells. After that though, we were able to take control of everything."

"That's right! It was really fun too!" Koruma's slightly menacing tone vanished for a moment as he reminisced. "We debated about it for a while, but we really managed to make something of it! We've been keeping him as a sleeper cell before you even left Japan!" He exclaimed; happy to see their ingenious plan working out so well. "The Captain said a few important things to him that neither of us really know about, but after that, she left and said we could finish up programming him!"

Masara just snorted though and crossed his arms. "More like _you_ programmed him, I was too busy putting ice on my arm!"

"Yous stupid evil persons; Shampoo no let you use hims like you did to her!" The purple haired girl's words though rang hollow, as she knew for a fact that she was outnumbered; with one of her enemies being a person who could go up against Ranma on a daily basis.

Ryoga though just tipped his nose upward. "I am not being used! I'm just seeing clearly now! I'm here to stop your evil actions and bring about an era of peace for all!" He said, heroically posing while giving a toothy smile.

The red hammer's ki eyes just twitched though. "Okay- okay, hold on, really. What the hell did you do to him? He's actin' like a Kuno or somethin'! What kind of programmingis _this_?" She asked; slightly bewildered at the actions she was seeing the idiot doing. "Is this why he's been so weird since before we left for Japan? Cause a you guys?"

Koruma faltered back just slightly at the remark, before he reasserted himself! "Yeah, it sure _is! _What's wrong with him? I think he's pretty cool!" He exclaimed as he indignantly placed his hands on his hips; his attempts at being fearful or menacing melting away as the situation advanced.

"I don't know Koru, I think I'm gonna have to agree with these guys on this one. You did some sick things to his head." Masara stated in earnest, as his previous pain started to numb. "And what do you mean he's been acting weird? He shouldn't have been doing anything different than he usually did. We tried to keep things hidden." He asked; his gaze turning towards Shampoo and her toy-like hammer.

The young Amazon took the liberty to reply first. "Ariens say pig-person has been acting weird this whole trip! _Shampoo_ even think he do stupid stuff that make no sense!"

Ryoga merely "hmphed" as the girl's words slid right off of him. "It was just my heroic persona shining through regardless of whatever veil was concealing it!" He said, once again beginning to flex his _Adonis_-like muscles as he posed before her vile enemies.

The sword wielder just sneered slightly. "Hmm, I guess I didn't do a perfect job with it all… but oh well, the final product is _really_ cool!" Seeing as how he simply just received silence as his only response, he tried to explain. "_Fine. _If you _have_ to know what I did..." He grumbled. "okay, it's real simple! After Kiima ran off and left us to finish her work, I wanted to make sure that everything went as planned, so I sat down with Ryoga and we had a chat together!"

Silence once again pervaded the air, before the stuck cannon answered back; mildly bewildered. "Wai- wait- you sat down, and, _talked_ to the guy before you brainwashed him?"

Masara started rubbing his temples. "Oh geez yes, _this._"

Koruma though just nodded earnestly. "Well, yeah! We just chitchatted around for a bit, you know, I figured that since were going to be working together, we should know some things about each other!" Not even stopping to see the strange looks he was getting from _both_ parties, he continued on. "I mean we only really ever fought a a few times, nothing else, so I thought we should! Anyway, I found out a lot about him; he's actually a pretty nice guy, even if it was hard to tell with him using a drowned out hypno voice!" He waved his hand off. "But _yeah_, he told me about his hate for that Ranma guy, and what he thought of that Akane girl. And I realized, I should do something special for him when I gave him his suggestions!" He pointed over to Masara. "It was just like you said! He needed- uh- he needed-"

"_Confidence…_" The bow warrior said; letting out a disgruntled sigh.

Kiima's favored swordsman smiled. "Yep! So I modeled him after the best, most confident role models I could." This time, he came an intentional dramatic pause; "comic book superheroes!"

Once again, every person in the surrounding area was just completely baffled by what was coming out of this boy's mouth. "Okay… that actually is a new one. He never even explained to _me_ what he was thinking there." Masara stated; before raising a question. "Wait, just hold on a second. Where the hell did you even _get_ comics? _Again_, I already said this; _highly_, _secluded_, _mountain_!" He paused for just another second; before inquiring about another matter. "No, hold on _one more_ time. Are _these_ the stupid stories you're always going on and talking about? Seriously, be honest."

The darker skinned boy's face just scrunched up a bit. "First of all; shut up! Second, those comics are great; they were really helpful back when I was learning English! And besides, I have a pen pal who sends me who sends me his like, forty year old issues for free! It's practically the only entertainment we've got up in this dumb place! Heck, I pretty much base how I've lived my entire life off of those books!" He turned his gaze over to Shampoo. "So yeah, that's what happened; pretty cool huh?"

Ryoga simply nodded his head. "It certainly is, my good chum. But shouldn't we go about and finish this? These evil doers are still running amuck!" He exclaimed; taking up a fighting posture once again.

Koruma just blinked. "Oh crap, we're fighting, aren't we?..." He merely just stared around at the blank faces looking at him, before he pointed his finger forward and began to charge. "So wait yeah, attack!"

With that, the battle quickly resumed; all three warriors going and charging right after a certain lavender haired girl! "Aw damn it! This _really_ ain't good!" The red chúi yelled, as her holder frantically attempted to dodge a series of blows from her trio of enemies, which sadly was not going so well.

Avoiding being struck as best she could, Shampoo still managed to snag a few swipes in with her bimbo smasher as she ran around the area. While not direct hits, she _was_ able to force her foes to falter back a bit; giving her enough time to momentarily escape their clutches. '_Damn it! I don't know if I can keep this up! Great-grandmother taught me how to fight well against small and large groups of enemies, but the pig-person is really, __**really**__ dangerous! I could probably handle it all if it was just the two other guys, but once he actually uses one of his real attacks, I'm done for! I gotta think!'_

Just then though, Ryoga regained control of himself and dashed forward; catching the girl off guard by wrapping one of his trademark bandannas around her wrist! "You can't escape now, you _wretched_ miscreant! But fear not! I do not wish to hurt you; only that you hand over your hammer to the side of good!"

Shampoo's face scrunched as her movements became impaired. "No! I won't let you take girl-Airen! Why you bird peoples even want hers anyway?" She asked, as she deftly slammed her transformed chúi down on the restraining cloth, easily snapping it to pieces.

"That's none of your business, ka!" Koruma uttered, as he tried once again to get his claws on the weapon that the girl was using. Truth be told though, the sword wielder was still quite befuddled of just how this all fit into the grand scheme of things. '_I really hope this isn't just some errand that the Captain gave for us so we could keep busy, last time that happened Mas nearly blew a fuse in front of her!' _

Said bowman though was actually nodding his head in an agreeable manner, as from midrange away he shot arrows at Shampoo. "You know, she kinda made a good point! I have _no_ idea what the hell this is all for. She's actually asking better questions than _you_ _are_ Koruma!" He finished with a slightly snarky tone in his voice, though it lasted for only a second, as once again he saw another one of his arrows being shot down and shattered; causing more small explosions to litter the area.

Furrowing his brow in a frustrated manner, Ryoga tried his best to mediate, as the Amazonian warrior before him continued to give an impromptu tour of woods surrounding their camp area. "Gentlemen, _please_! This is no time for bickering! We must complete our task quickly!" The part-time pig yelled, silently cursing his vile enemy's swiftness and ability to dodge. Fighting her was one thing, but maneuvering around in the wasteland of green he was one was another matter entirely! '_Curse my inability to navigate! How can I be a successful warrior of justice if I continue on to get lost in my own backyard? Just __**think**__ of how many lives could be lost due to my ineptitude!'_ Just then, a slightly dark aura began to form around his body, as his thoughts grew ever more depressing.

Shampoo was running out of options, and energy here. Despite any sort of meager victories she might have made, at this point, she was no longer in a fight, rather than she was halfheartedly trying to flee away from the psychopaths around her. Ultimately though, the purple haired girl simply couldn't fully attempt to escape, as half of her allies were already put into decommission. It didn't matter what her opinion was of _certain_ people, Shampoo was in no way the type to leave a fellow warrior behind because of a discrepancy. Her steps must have been moving her subconsciously; as at that moment Shampoo ran right back into their fight's starting area.

The nautical cannon was slightly relieved to see the other fighters in his line of vision once again, it made him have once less worry at the moment, despite the fact that he had half a dozen extra that were far more pressing. He just couldn't believe that his latest incarnation suffered from such a terrible and weak design flaw. '_How the heck am I supposed ta fight like that?'_ Were the words that constantly flowed through his mind, as he tried his best to move about but to little success. The only thing he could seemingly do is fire ground level ki blasts at any unsuspecting warriors that passed him by. '_Come on you guys, I know you can do it! Finish this dumb battle already!'_

Right as this was happening though, Ryoga was continually growing more and more depressingly annoyed. Despite his allies' meager triumphs, he was _still_ the only one who had not touched the girl during the middle of their scuffle. '_What does this say of my skills as a martial artist? Am I not on par as the rest of my colleague? Am I just simply too weak to be fighting at this level?'_ The words started to run through his mind at a quickened pace, and with every moment the aura that was surrounding him grew darker, and thicker. '_Damn them! Damn them all! I'll show them! I'll show all of them what the strength of a __**true**__ hero is!'_ Upon these words Ryoga's depressive energy peaked, and he reached his arm outwards. His emotions running high, and ki cackling, the eternally lost boy rushed forward, and exclaimed; "shishi hokodan!"

Shampoo had been bracing herself for what she knew would most certainly enviably come. Her kiting of the group couldn't have lasted forever. Sadly though, in the end, she _still_ hadn't properly come up with a plan that would safely and soundly defeat her foes. With time of the essence she knew she would have to bite the bullet and resort to a tactic she wasn't even sure was going to work. Mere moments before the Hibiki boy fired off his shot, the female hammer tried to interject; "Uh-oh! Shampoo, ya gotta watch out! He's gonna-" but before she could properly even finish her sentence, the purple haired girl was already a step ahead.

Grounding herself steadfast, the Chinese Amazon raised the toy hammer like a baseball player would raise a bat to the plate. Time seemed to slow down for her, as the bright flash of energy barreled forward. Gripping the handle hard, Shampoo narrowed her eyes, and, _swung_; slamming the hammer right into the brunt of the onslaught. What the girl had intended for this maneuver was to use her toy-like weapon's stunning and neutralizing effects to cancel out, and possibly even counter any sort of energy fired at her; hopefully taking out all her opponents in one fell swoop. But in a wild turn of events, her weapon simply didn't work as she was hoping! While the magic of her tool _did_ cause the shishi hokodan to stop dead in its tracks, it _wasn't _able to do much else. The energy was still there, and though stopped by the force of the hammer, it was still highly volatile. The roar shot merely floated a foot or two above the ground for a moment; an eerie silence overcoming the area, before, with a single spark, the blast erupted!

Shampoo could only let out a single gasp, before she fell into blackness.

* * *

The blast left the surrounding camp area a charred mess; destroying the various tents and bags of equipment that Shampoo and the lot were using. More importantly though, it left a medium sized crater where said purple haired girl now lied, unconscious after the direct hit she took. Her primary opponent Ryoga though, was in much the same shape, as several yards away from her he sat conked out as well, the hubris of his own attack doing him in in the end.

Although a draw like this would most certainly be an acceptable outcome considering the circumstances, there were other factors that needed to be attended to, namely, Koruma and Masara.

Letting out a sputter of coughs, Kiima's favored swordsman's eyes squinted as he searched around the dusty and quickly darkening area. "Mas?- Mas? Are you there? Did that thing hit you?" He asked, continuing to float and stumble about in the cloudy mess.

The boy's question though was quickly answered, as a series of grunting coughs filled the air. Through a froggy a voice Masara strained to give a proper response. "Yeah- yeah, I'm fine- I'm fine. I flew out of the way once I saw that thing in your hypno-buddy's hand." Moment's after the bowman said this, his roaming hand bumped into the back of his companion.

Turning to greet his friend, Koruma just nodded. "Yeah, I managed to dodge too. Murphy's law sure doesn't work when you got a set of wings on ya."

"…True enough." The lighter skinned boy said, not willing to argue. Once again he began to look around. "But what do we do now? I think we just won."

Seeing the dust starting to settle, Koruma simply snapped his fingers. "Yep, we kicked their butts' real good thanks to the help of our secret weapon!"

Masara simply rolled his eyes. "Yeah, some real 'secret weapon' all right, guy got his ass kicked by a chick using a giant toy."

"He didn't get his ass kicked!" the shorter of the two said. "That Shampoo girl was just used some fancy trick! If it wasn't for that, he'd beat her any day of the week!" Turning around, he started to make his way over to the purple haired girl's crater. "_That's_ gotta be why the Captain wants these things. They must have a bunch of crazy powers or something!"

At the same moment as all this was happen, the talked about red hammer was in no way having ad good of a time as the two who came out victorious. For the past several minutes or so, she'd been trying to wake up her up holder as best she could, but to no avail. From the drained and dazed look on the Chinese warrior's face, it seemed like she wouldn't be getting up any time soon. But it was upon seeing her two remaining foes that she really started to sweat. As she watched them slowly meander towards her, she started screaming at them. "You- you guys back the hell off! I'm warnin' ya! If you two take another step closer I'll- I'll smash both a yer skulls in! I mean it!" This was a truly terrifying moment for the female Ranma, never more in her life had she felt _this_ helpless; not even the moxibustion fiasco was as bad as this!

Both of the two Phoenix tribe warriors paused for a moment to look at each other, before still deciding to continue to approach, with mild caution. "You've got a pretty big mouth for an inanimate object." Masara said, bending down and nabbing the hammer from the tight grip of Shampoo's hand. He was hardly put off at all by the toy's threat. "But you're _still_ just a dumb weapon. You can't do anything on your own."

Upon being lifted up, whatever continuing connection was keeping the bimbo smasher transformed drained out, and in a quick flash, the red hammer turned back into its chúi state. This though _didn't_ cause her to stop her yapping. "Sh-shut up! I swear, I'll kick all a your asses! I just- I just gotta-" From there she continued on rambling threats that would for the most part be ignored by the two bird-warriors, with each passing minute her voice growing more desperate.

"Well, that's one down. Though wasn't there another around here too?" Masara asked, waving the tool in his hand around a bit.

Koruma just nodded. "Yeah, I think its around here, but it transformed into that-" Before the boy could finished, a hot shot of ki blasted itself a mere few inches from his face.

Since the moment Ryoga's blast went off, the black cannon had been yelling and screeching to the best of his abilities, trying to wake anyone who might be able to help, as well as aiming to divert the winged warriors' attention away from the prone form of Shampoo. Frustratingly though, all of his calls fell unto the deaf ears of a group who had more important matters to deal with. It was only when he, with the great effort of his wheels, maneuvered his toppled over frame in the right direction; that he fired off a shot that could in any way be effective. "Come over here ya idiots! You still got one more guy here willin' ta fight!" He exclaimed, as he fired off several more shots.

Masara and Koruma, both quite surprised, dodged away, floating up into the air as they were being shot at by the angry cannon on the ground. "Uh-oh…" Koruma said, looking over to his partner as a disconcerted frown formed on his face.

The fairer skinned warrior just let out a grunt. "Uh-oh is right…" He said, flying around; seeing the thing fire out what looked to be a continuous stream of blasts. Luckily for them though, Ranma was stuck in such a way that he couldn't properly aim upwards. "Do we even really want to deal with this?" Masara asked, already growing annoyed by the now constant insults coming forth from the chúi in his hand. The idea of having to fight and lug around another one was starting to sound more and more distasteful. Especially with the words she was already spewing; damn it his mother was a saint!

Truth be told, Koruma honestly didn't want to have to deal with another opponent either. Both he and his companion were already quite drained, and the chance of possibly losing after victory was already in their grasp would absolutely destroy any credibility he might have. Thinking quickly, he weighed his options. It was moments later that his eyes brightened up. "Hey, di-didn't Captain Kiima say that she wanted us to bring back _hammers_?"

Continuing to float around, the other boy simply nodded. "Yeah- _yeah_, I do believe you mentioned something about that."

"Well uh, that doesn't look like a hammer to me…" Koruma said; articulating with his finger.

Picking up on his partner's words, Masara just smiled. "Nope it sure doesn't!"

Mood entirely shifting, Koruma turned to his friend shook his hand. "All right then! Job well done! Let's grab Ryoga and get the hell outta here!"

"Sounds good to me!"

The red chúi stopped for a moment in her endless tirade to let off a disgruntled growl. "Are you guys friggin' kidding me? _Now_ you got and chicken out? Grow a backbone, go down there, and _fight_!" She screeched at them, hoping for one last ditch attempt to turn things around.

The two warriors though simply continued to ignore her as they swooped down to the unconscious Ryoga, with Koruma pulling out the canteen that was strapped to his waist. "I think _this_ is actually going to come in handy during travel time." With that, the sword wielder poured the water over the bandanna wearing boy, morphing him into P-chan; picking up the zoned out little critter; both boys smiled slightly. "Well, I think we got ourselves a pretty nice hall, don't you think?" Koruma asked.

"A mind controlled pig and a hammer that won't stop bitching. Yeah, we're God damn styin' now." Masara said, once again flipping the disgruntled chúi.

Staring up at the sky, Koruma's brow furrowed slightly. "Oh darn, we gotta hurry though! The sun's gonna set soon, we're gonna be flying blind!" He said, flapping his wings and revving up for taking off.

As the two took to the skies for takeoff, the male Ranma's eyes narrowed. "Get back here you bozos! I ain't done yet! Ya just can't go and take the other me like that! It ain't right!" He bellowed; trying his best to fire off a shot that could flip him over, but in the end failing. All he could do was watch as their two enemies ruined everything.

Koruma once again made use of into his frightful acting skills. "Kakaka! Now you know to never underestimate the power and skills of the legendary Phoenix tribe! We give you mercy now, but never cross our paths again, or else!"

Masara just nodded his head in a nonchalant manner. "Yeah, what he said, later guys!" And with that, they flew off, carrying with them both Ryoga and the female chúi.

The cannon just let out a nonsensical guttural scream as he saw them blast off into the distance. "Damn it! _Damn it_! _DAMN IT_! You idiots! You aren't gonna get away with this! I swear!" He snarled, sneered, and roared. It was the only thing he could do to let out his frustrations.

Off far to the side a certain blue haired girl laid singed and unconscious, but for the most part, still alive and well. She had just spent the greater part of the preceding battle dead to the world, and unaware of the events going on around her. It was only when Ranma's voice grew to its apex did she slowly manage to crack open her weary eyes. "Sh-shut up you _idiot_…" She mumbled sleepily; groaning as she slowly started to sit up. Her muscles ached all over, and her dress had been blackened like it'd been in a barbeque. Quickly though she became fully alert as she saw the destruction around her! "Ra-ranma?" She worriedly yelled, as she fully pulled herself out of the rubble, and rushed her way over to him.

The Saotome boy's eyes widened, the fear in him slightly easing upon seeing the other girl okay. "Akane!-" He exclaimed, but before her could finish, the cannon's form flashed, and quickly he began to revert back to his standard chúi mode.

Catching him just in time, though with a little effort, Akane still held a bewildered look on her face. "Ranma, what- what happened here? There was Ryoga and those two guys… and- and, I don't know! What's going on?" The girl pleaded; she _still_ couldn't believe Ryoga, someone she had always trusted, had so openly attacked her like that! She thought he was her friend!

Suddenly, all of the exertion from firing that barrage of ki blasts started to take its toll on Ranma, and he was now not feeling entirely too well. Gasping a few times, the hammer's eyes started to blink out repeatedly. "You ain't gonna like this Akane, but things- things just got a whole lot worse."

* * *

**A/N: And there ya go folks! This chapter is **_**finally**_** done! I hope you like it! I know there are a few questions that need answer, but I'll do my best to fit them in in the next installment, there was just so much that I needed to cover, and I couldn't do it all. **

**I would like to say though that I tried my best with Koruma and Masara, I know they probably come off pretty oddly, but the thing is, in the manga, they really didn't really have much a personality that I could work with. They were pretty much just Kiima's bumbling henchmen; so I had to add in some things to try and make them interesting. Sorry if it came off looking stupid though. There's also this that I would like to mention about Koruma; yes, I **_**am**_** implying that the guy's trilingual, the smarty-pants bastard. **

**Oh! One thing I really gotta say! I would sincerely like to thank Cryptic Mirror for putting this in the Ranma fanfic recs on tvtropes! I actually did a double take when I saw this on there one day when I browsing! I am shocked; more so at the fact that people actually seem to like this crap. That's just a head scratcher right there.**

**Really though, I'm sorry that this took so long. With the way things are going, I just don't think I'll be able to keep up the steady pace I've been working at with**. **We'll see though. I'm also really sorry if the editing on this is pretty terrible; I haven't had enough time to go over everything and I just wanted to get this out there.**

**Anyway though, that's pretty much it. Thanks for taking the time to read, and I hope to see ya for the next part!**


	12. Questions, quips, and quirky quackers!

**A/N: Well holy hell in a hand basket. Hey there folks. I have returned again with the twelfth chapter of this monstrosity. I **_**think**_** we might be getting into the final arc, but with the way I seem to be writing it could be another hundred thousand words or so.**

**What's sad is I'm not sure if that's an exaggeration or not.**

**Anyway you people, let's get this goin' already.**

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* * *

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Directly in the aftermath of the battle between the clawed capers, the now battered and bruised set of Nerima brawlers sat in the debris filled area that used to be their campsite. Resting next to them was a currently conked Shampoo, too tuckered out from her recent escapades to even think about waking.

"So what- what just happened?" Akane wasted little time asking as she sat down next to the nearby Ranma. Everything had somehow gone just completely wrong for her and her companions. In the span of what seemed like a single moment, they were left down and out for the count. It hardly made any sense at all. Luckily though, she looked to be the slightest injured out of all of the lot, and was capable of at least bandaging up the Chinese girl that lay beside hers' wounds.

"I- I don't really friggin' know," Ranma stated. His voice had a world weary, exasperated tone to it. If inspected closely, his eyes seemed to be dimmer; less vibrant than before, as if drained of some life. "I think- I mean, well, it's Ryoga- he was, he still _is_, under mind control, or somethin'."

Akane's brow furrowed. "Mind control?..."

Ranma simply just shifted his ki-eyes up and down, in an attempt to nod. "Yeah, ya know, remember that time Shamps' got hit by one a those eggs, and got all loopy?" He turned and looked over at the purple hared girl. "Well, the same thing happened ta Ryoga, only a little _different_. Instead a just goin' and trying ta screw us over right away, they kept it all real secret, and waited ta screw us over until the right time!"

Akane simply gasped. "So… so Ryoga, this whole time, was under a spell?"

The black chúi just stared downward. "Yep, and they made im' attack us during the fight." He looked up at the girl in front of him. "He went for you first, too. Ya alright?"

The young Tendo felt slightly like she was in a daze, as she clutched the hem of the dress her attack had inadvertently charred. "Yes. Yes. I'm okay. It's just, Ryoga…"

"Listen, I know…"

Akane started to shake her head. "I just never pictured him attacking me like that; so brazenly…"

"I'm tellin' ya, we'll smash his skull in for it. Then we can turn him back ta normal."

She held her hem harder. "It was just so quick… right out of nowhere."

"Okay, we'll-"

"I've, never seen Ryoga be that, _assertive_ before." A small blush wormed its way on to her face.

Ranma just blinked. "Wait, what the heck are ya goin' on about?"

"I mean, it was just so different from the way he always acted around me. Most of the time he just stutters and laughs… for the few seconds I saw him, he acted so, _determined_."

"Uhh, tomboy, are you with me here?"

"I- I just never pictured him like that; never even thought. Most boys don't even try to hit me…" Akane glanced up at Ranma with a starry look in her eyes. "_He_ threw me and made me explode!"

Ranma's figurative mouth was agape. "Aw crap, you're in friggin shock, ain't ya?" Deadpan would be too excited of a word to describe his voice.

As Akane went about rambling on to herself, off to the side, a certain Amazonian warrior started to stir; her face scrunching as she felt the ache that her muscles brought about. "A-airen?..." she mumbled, as she raised herself out from under her blankets.

Ranma's drearier than usual eyes managed to perk up upon seeing the purple haired girl. Maybe _she_ could provide some sanity for the situation. "Shampoo, you're awake!"

Said Shampoo twisted and turned as to the best of her abilities, eliciting small mewls from the soreness that ran about her. "Ooh… what happen?" She asked while rubbing her right hand against her opposite arm.

The black chúi hissed a little, as he watched the injured girl try to move about. "H-hey, watch out! Ya just got put through the ringer! Ya gotta take it easy fer a little while!" His words fell on deaf ears though, as the foreign girl slowly sat up Indian style towards him, and let out tired yawn. While mildly irked, the hammer continued on with his diatribe. "Listen Shamps, things got outta hand! Ya remember what happened earlier at all?"

Blinking a few times, her sleepy state seemed to sap the girl of her cognitive abilities about the current crisis. Realization though slowly but surely struck with the tribal brawler. "O- oh no! Girl-Ranmas!" She gasped out, standing up wobbly, right to her feet. "We- we's got to go! They take other Airens! They-ack!" She stopped, as she felt the pain of her damaged bones hitting her; causing her to fall quickly, toppling on to her knees.

That said tumble made a certain young Tendo to snap out of her long-winded rhetoric. "Oh, Shampoo, you're up!" She smartly added.

"Yeah, she is… _kinda_. Ranma dryly murmured; finding himself pausing for a moment to glance between the girls, before continuing. "But it's gonna take a little while ta get back up to speed, for all a us, ain't it? I really don't think we're gonna be movin' from this spot, at least tonight."

The purple haired girl simply just grunted in response. The eclectic energy that hit her earlier had taken its toll. While her intense training would rapidly accelerate any sort of damage she took, it would still probably be another day or so before she could properly be moving about. Though if that was time they had to spare, was another matter entirely.

Still half in a daze, Shampoo was left bewildered and confused. "Stupid, stupid, bird peoples, they take other airens! What they want her for?" Her eyes scrunched as she rubbed her temples; the girl tried to wrack her brain for the proper answer, but her still weary state left her confused with about everything around her. But slowly, an idea managed to creep its way through her thoughts. "W-wait… they _know_ Ranmas got transformed?"

Akane's face scrunched a little upon hearing this. "I guess so? What's the bit deal about that?"

Shampoo just gave the other girl an indignant glance; _completely_ baffled by her ignorance. "It big deal, because we knows, that bird peoples knows, that Kiima knows, that Ranmas been put under spell! It obvious!" Her hands wavered about in an almost cartoonish fashion. "We no know before if Kiima-person use orb for evil, or somethings else! Now really we dos!" The girl tried her hardest to explain; articulating herself as best as a recently blown up person could, but a lot of it was lost on the slightly shattered stated that Shampoo was sputtering around in at the moment.

Ranma though, understood slightly more fully. "Yeah… _yeah_! For all we knew before, that egg-lady could a just gotten the damn orb cause it was pretty! Now we _know_ she wants ta screw with us!"

The blue haired girl though was still a bit unsure of what to entirely make of it all. "But what does that all mean? We knew from the start that the Phoenix people were trouble. We just know that they want to mess things up even _worse_ for us now!"

Shampoo simply shook her head. "Mmm-mmm, no! It _real_ important! It mean Phoenix peoples _have_ to knows they take from Amazon peoples! They _steal_ from us and get powerful item! That mean bad things happen! We could go to war!" Her voice echoed out in awe and mild shock. "Dozens of too too powerful Amazon warriors fightings with bird-mens, crazy crazy magic being used, big big explosions!" Her hands clasped together as she sucked in a breath. "Little baby Amazons crying for dead mama-Amazons! It awful!" Her voice was raised to a squealing pitch.

Ranma's ki-eye's narrowed. "Now- now hold on. Geez, I mean, I know ya mentioned something like that a while ago, but..." He became silent for a moment, before speaking up. "Listen, I don't think ya guys should have ta all duke it out cause a somethin' stupid like this! We should just keep it all under wraps fer now! We shouldn't go squealin' to your tribe!"

Akane frowned slightly upon hearing this. "What the hell are you talking about? We _should_ tell them! Going to the Amazons for help might actually make things easier on our end! That way they could send some extra fighters to help get you back to normal!"

Shampoo didn't even want to _begin_ to try and explain how the various subtleties and rules of Amazon law would be shattered if they attempted to follow the same structure of ideas as Akane was trying to get at. Though she _did_ raise part of a point, maybe telling the tribe _would_ be the smart thing to do? Or not. She just didn't know. The whole mess of thoughts and going on's about her left the purple haired girl spinning slightly. Not even five minutes awake and she was mentally looking over political organization and intrigue. She needed more time to think, to get a better grasp on the situation, figure out how everything was working _now_.

"Ranmas… what- what happen with pig-person? Where he go? Did two bird-boys take him with thems?" Shampoo rather bluntly asked. She needed to change the topic for a moment; if only for her mind's sake.

The black chúi merely just blinked several times, before figuratively shrugging. "Yeah, they sure did, right along with the other me!"

"How?" Akane innocently interrupted.

"What?" Ranma asked.

The young Tendo girl had a slightly confused look upon her face. "How exactly _did_ they manage to take Ryoga? Didn't you say earlier that they just sort of flew off?..."

There was a brief awaked silence that permeating the air for the shortest moments. While in a bit of small sputtering, and attempting to segue, Ranma did his best to reply. "Umm, he sorta, I guess, _flew_ with them? Kinda, ya know?..."

Akane's brow furrowed even further. "But… Ryoga's a big guy, how'd they lift him all the way up to fly? That- that doesn't really make sense."

Ranma knew he was stuck between a rock and hard place. Akane was asking questions that he didn't really have answers for, unless he wanted a certain eternally lost boy to end up Kasumi's next pork roast! '_Ah geez, damn it pig-for-brains, the stuff I have ta do to keep your stupid hide from bein' turned into a football…' _"Well uh, it's actually- you know the guy with the bow and arrows? Well get this! He's _super tough_! He went up to Ryoga, used his claws, and just sorta _lifted_ him! Then, he just up and flew off like it was nothin'! It freaked me right out!" He tried hard not to suck in a metaphorical breath. Trying to lie in front of Akane was a dangerous gamble on a good day; suicide on a bad.

The blue haired girl stared out across at Ranma for a scant few seconds; her face eerily neutral, without nary one bit of emotion. It was right when the chúi was going to speak up again, that she did she reply, "Wow! Lifted him up just like that? I guess we really did underestimate those guys! We're gonna have to go all out once we see them again! Haha!"

"Hehe, yeah!..." Ranma's voice grew slightly more somber as the last syllable of his words stretched onward. While he _was_ lying through his nonexistent teeth about the black winged boy being a real bruiser, it still raised the point that they looked to be quite outgunned. Of course though this was all without taking into account that they now had a _rescue mission_ they had to deal with. Things were getting far more complex than they really needed to be. As no one had brought the matter up; it came down to Ranma to try his hand at the idea of being logical. "Guys, I hate ta be more of a downer like this, but what are we gonna do? We're out two people, and we gotta storm a mountain filled with an army a mutant-bird-dorks!"

Shampoo, in the meanwhile of all this, was contemplating roughly that exact same thought process. The whole concept that, essentially the two of them, had to invade an enemy base of such magnitude seemed preposterous! The odds of winning in an all out assault were so low that even thinking about it made her head spin. She couldn't let her worry show though; she had to be strong for her airen! "It- it be okay Ranmas! We still can do it! We just have to be extra careful!" She turned to Akane. "What things we have left? What can we use?"

Getting up from where she was sitting, Akane marched on over to a pile that she had set up of various items she had found lying around. "It's- it's not much." She tossed a burnt and ragged tent top out of her way. "Most of it was destroyed in the fight. A few clothes, part of a map, first-aid thankfully… everything else though got burnt to a crisp."

Ranma's voice grew hesitant. "…Wait, what about our money?"

Before he could even attempt to feel the chill of dread run up through him, Akane almost instantaneously pulled out several stacks of what looked to be blackened rectangles, but were obviously bills of Yuan. They were tarnished and damaged beyond usability.

The chúi let out a guttural growl. "Aw _geez_, we can't even buy the stuff that got wrecked back?" He didn't give time for the others to answer his rhetorical question. "_Great_, it's just like living' on the road back with Pop's again. Too bad roughin' it ain't exactly somethin' we can put up with right now!"

Shampoo's brow furrowed as she moved closer to Ranma, picking him up. "Like I say, it's going to be okay airen! We still fix things! You no have to worry!" Her enthusiasm faltered only slightly, as a small frown appeared on her face upon looking into the energized eyes one the one she loved. Despite his minimal ability to form facial expressions, she could still clearly see the doubt pouring out from him.

"Really? We've been tossed around, screwed over, and beaten back half a dozen times already!" Ranma was clearly fed up. "We gotta think up a solid plan fer this one! They're obviously workin' on something with the other me! We can't just run in there expectin' ta breeze through things. Even without Saffron, they probably got half a dozen other ways that could take us out just as bad!" The hammer grew more and more distressed with each proceeding word. "I mean, heck! You're down and out a weapon as is! Do ya even have anythin' ya can use in your other hand?"

The young Amazon slowly started to grow more consternated with each passing second, completely unsure of what she should be doing or saying. The girl started to fidget awkwardly in her seat, as she looked around the area before her, not wanting to make direct eye contact due to embarrassment. "Ah, Shampoo no really bring extra weapons airen… remember? She say she was only going to use yous twos!" Her smile was completely forced at this point. "It… not too bad! We- I- Shampoo can just use guy-airen, it not big deal!"

Even Akane, in her mildly loopy state, saw through the flimsy statement. "Listen, even though he's an idiot, I think Ranma might be right. We have to rethink ourselves here. If we don't, and screw up again, things could end up really bad!"

The purple haired girl's face finally fully faltered, and her hidden panic started to shine through. "Well, what we do? Shampoo out of ideas!"

There was another bit of uncomfortable emptiness that filled the air before them at that moment. No one spoke up or gave any insight.

It was after several moment of that awkward interval though, that a certain obsidian tool joined in; his tone defeated and subdued. "Listen," he said; looking up skyward to see the moon shining bright above them. "It's gettin' late, we ain't gonna solve everythin' tonight; especially since all the crap we had ta put up with today. You should all get some rest or somethin'. Heck, maybe I'll think up an idea while you two are snoozin'!" He turned upward to look at the Amazonian warrior. "Especially you Shamps, even _Akane'd_ admit that you got the most throttled outta all of us. Ya need ta get some rest."

The group looked between each other, and slowly but surely silently nodded. Shampoo contemplated protesting, but the fatigue that she felt coursing over her made sure to make itself most prominently know when she least wanted it to, and she started to feel like she could hit the wall at just about any moment. Letting out a yawn that showcased her drained state, the girl lifted the chúi up to eye level. "Okay Airens, but we start moving to Phoenix peoples' mountain first thing tomorrow! We _no_ fall behind!"

Ranma's eyes softened a bit as he looked at the girl. "_Alright_, you two just get some shuteye though, okay? There's still a bit of a ways to go. Though I guess is a good thing, since we haven't cooked up a plan… Still, I'm gonna be burin' the midnight oil tonight! I'll figure somethin' out, I swear!"

As quickly as the girl nodded, she and her blue haired cohort started getting ready for the evening; making do with what they had. For Shampoo, it was simple, she already had her nice little bed laid out for her, but Akane had to tango with an arrangement of cloths and shards of blankets, to make herself a cocoon like device that would entrap her form, but keep the night's cold chill away from her body. She had no idea how she came up with this idea; considering she had little wilderness survival training, and even less in the beautiful insectoid-like art of encasing oneself in refuse, but her bombarded-brain felt little desire to think logically right now.

As Ranma watched with amusement, he hardly had time to think when he was suddenly placed into the sleeping bag right along with Shampoo. "H-hey! What the heck are ya doin'?" He asked, as the purple haired girl wrapped her arms around him like a slightly awkward teddy bear.

"Thampoo vou verbert!" Akane exclaimed, her voice muffled due to a patchwork mix of a half burnt bathing towel, and newspaper coving her face. She had half the mind to go stomping over there to try and pound the other girl out, though the thought of moving, and toppling her great monument to the butterfly Gods was not on the highest of her priorities at the moment.

Shampoo just let out a small titter as she tried to get comfortable. "I no let airen out of sight now, she already lose one of yous! Shampoo have to be extra extra careful! She make sure Ranmas no get lost!"

Ranma wanted to complain, but talking down to the girl while she was injured would probably be in quite bad taste, and seeing the broad smile that she gave him shot down those thoughts almost immediately. With a grumble, and a slight roll of his eyes, Ranma stayed quiet on the manner. '_Eh, I'll let her have her fun, I guess… it's not like she can really __**do**__ anything. That'd just be weird, and really friggin' creepy. I just gotta come up with a plan ta work with for how we handle things from 'ere.'_

As the rest of the group slowly fell deep into dreamland, momentarily forgetting their current woes, Ranma stayed vigilant; keeping a watchful eye out for any unwanted enemies that might come by, while at the same time working out battle strategies in his head as best he could. '_Hey, ya know, this ain't so bad. I mean, I wish I had a book ta read or somethin', but at least I can keep myself preoccupied! Ya know, maybe if we go in and give em' a surprise attack, but then go in at the main entrance, we could confuse the guys and junk! That way, we can get the other me, and snap pig-breath out of it!'_

It was at that moment, that a low rumble vibrated itself throughout the area around them; it started off low, but soon evolved, and grew louder in the pitch, its range so high that it bordered on ear splitting to all those that happened to pass on by.

Shampoo, was snoring.

Knowing that his time for thinking just now became a lot more distracting, Ranma did his best to try and wake the young girl, so he would go back to thinking properly. "Hey- hey Shampoo, wake up, will ya? You're kinda snorin'!" He received nary a scant remark from the girl, save from more ear splitting wailing. This continued on for several more minutes, as he tried his best to wake the young companion. Sadly though, all his effort were to no avail, as she continued on, just as conked out as she appeared to be after the fight with Masara and Koruma. It was then that Ranma realized something.

It was going to be a _long_ night.

* * *

Ukyo Kuonji was arguably one of the more stable people in all of Nerima. While yes, she occasionally had her bad bouts involving random acts of violence, rampant destruction, the rare moment of molestation, as well as various other forms of misconduct that, if taken place in any other district, would net her right into an asylum; she was still quite level headed. But standing before her was a sight that would make even the most angelic of saint's eyes begin to twitch.

The _entirety_ of the Ucchan's stock was cleared out and barren.

"K-Konatsu, _sugar_, wha- what happened here? W-where are my supplies?" She asked agog; staring out across at the effeminate boy-girl-hybrid-thing that was standing before her in the middle of the store. She had come straight from the Cat Café after just returning from her long journey, and her appearance was still just as disheveled. "The batter, the ingredients, the _napkins_, they're all gone!" When she arrived at the restaurant, she found a creeping caution slithering down her spine. Her first big clue was that the store was closed right in the middle of the dinner-time rush. It was when she entered though, that nearly had a heart attack. _Everything_ was gone. From the food, to the condiment dispensers, so long as it wasn't nailed down to the floor it was up and absconded with.

Upon further inspection though, it did appear that at least one nailed down chair was, in fact, missing.

Konatsu was, for a lack of better words, mildly flustered. He had been doing so well in his mistress's absence! After his brief and coldly received venture back to his family's tea-shop to check on his relatives, he returned and made sure to try and keep the Ucchan in tiptop shape. He wanted to sell as many things as he could! "Ah! Madame Ukyo, you're finally back! I've been so worried!" He clasped his hands together in a sign of relief. "Well, umm, I've been doing like you've said; trying my best to sell all that 'stock!'" He wiped a bit of sweat that had formed itself on his brow. "It was real hard work doing it on my own, but I even managed to get people to buy all the stuff that was just lying around the restaurant too! Isn't that great?"

Dread began to wriggle around in the okonomiyaki chef's gut. She usually could put a great deal of her faith in the boy before her, despite her various flaws. But a concern was coming to a head in the forefront of her mind. "Money." She squeaked out.

Konatsu blinked. "Money?"

Ukyo sucked in a sharp breath. "Money, Konatsu. How- how much money did you make off all…" she slowly glanced around the area, as if taking appraisal;

"this?"

The male kunoichi's visage brightened up in clarity, making an "O" face. "Ah! The _money_!" He snapped his fingers as he began to root around in the pockets of the apron he was currently wearing.

"Here!" he said, as he pulled out what looked to be a bona fide bevy of bills crumpled up together; some of them splattered with a bit of batter. Before Ukyo could let out a sigh of relief though that everything wasn't all for not, she managed to get a quick close inspection, and noticed that they all looked to be quite low; the vast majority of them looking like something that'd be squandered away on a tip.

"I know you have a set price for things… but I thought it was best to start low, you know, to reel people in! And let me tell you, it worked!" The black haired boy just smiled. "Ten yen a meal! That's how much I sold each okonomiyaki for! I had people lining up across the block waiting to be served; it was great! Though I had to close down things once we ran of ingredients, I mean, you can't cook off of nothing!" He walked over to one of the remaining tables and let the bills float downward into space so that they could be observed. "Counting just about everything- _including_ the jars of coins I got! We made just over 6000 yen in the past week!" He turned to look over the woman. "Are you proud of me, Mistress Ukyo?"

To put it bluntly, Ukyo Kunoji didn't need this. She did not need this at all.

All the girl wanted was to be able to come home, sit down, and relax. A nice nap sounded good right now. But the ditzy cross-dresser before her had practically ruined everything! Truth be told she only hired the boy out of pity for the most part. With all the troubles Konatsu had gone through, and the life he had, what kind-hearted person wouldn't try to help and shelter him? Plus she didn't really pay him anything, and he was pretty much her slave, so that was kinda cool. '_But damn it, he's gone too far this time! I can only give so much!'_ Ukyo's life was teetering on the edge as is. Her Ranchan was off far away in China, and what's worse was that he could be dying! Then there was that hussy Shampoo… it was all just too much! She needed time to think!

…And that brought her back to her current predicament. Konatsu's face was just _beaming_ at her. On any other day she'd find it amusing, maybe even a little cute. But now it just filled her with the utmost contempt! Maybe it was splitting headache that was building up in her, or maybe it was the fact that she currently smelled like three day old garbage, but an anger was growing inside her, and it was getting ready to burst!

"Konatsu, _you_ are one of the biggest _idiots_ that I've ever met! Her arms waved about close to the boy, seriously invading his personal space.

It seemed clear now to the genderly confused boy-thing that his ever-so caring mistress was not in the best of moods. But he couldn't understand why! He had done everything right, and they made plenty of money! Didn't they? They must have! _He_ used to live off of 200 yen a week! Right now they were richer than rich! "But- but Ukyo!"

Konatsu's stuttering fell on deaf ears. The shop-owner was on a roll. "How could you do this? I trusted you! It _wasn't_ hard!" Her face reddened just a bit more. "I left explicit instructions! I even managed to; against all odds of course, _call you_ to make sure that you followed through! But you didn't! How simple do I have to make things?"

Konatsu's was now sweating buckets. He had never seen Ms. Ukyo like this before; he had an inkling that something was amiss, but nothing like this! She hadn't once called him "sugar", or honey, in that entire last rant!

The boy's face unsure, and his eyes turned downward, he raised his hand up to articulate. "Mistress, I apologize, but what exactly is troubling you?"

Ukyo at this point just grew further exasperated. It was like he wasn't even listening at all! "You know what's 'troubling' me! You screwed up!" She shoved her hand so close to the boy's face, that her index finger was mere millimeters away from poking out one of his eyes.

"I- I'm sorry?... I did the best that I could!" His voice was pleading, but he wasn't sure what exactly he could say to calm the girl.

'_He just doesn't understand what he did, does he?' _The one place that she had worked so hard to earn, worked so hard to keep, had been completely and utterly devastated! Who knew how long it would take to get everything up and running!

With one final inhalation and the crack of her knuckles, her hand jutted outward, straight towards the door! "Out!" She bellowed! "Out, out! I want you out of my store right now!"

"But-"

"No!" The brown haired girl didn't even give him the chance. "Honey, as of this moment you are _relieved _of your position as assistant cook and waitress at the Ucchan! Now get out!"

Konatsu just stared, his mouth aquiver as the woman he so greatly admired glared blazes right at him. He waited desperately for her to say something- for her to tell him it was all a joke, but as the seconds ticked, her features only hardened in their intensity. Turning his head downward, he sniffed once, and clenched his fist. Damn it, he was gonna stay strong! He simply had to go out like a man! Giving one look at his, as of just now, former boss, he nodded one. And…

Burst into tears.

"Waaaaahhhhhh!" He screeched, as ran straight for the door, his arms flailing about like a chicken with its head cut off. Dignity was an overrated concept.

The now sole proprietor of the okonomiyaki shop eye's just twitched, before she let out an exasperated grumble. She was still far too ticked to consider if her words were too harsh. '_But damn it! Look at this!_' The store seemed so empty now. The only thing she could be thankful for was that her own personal items seemed to have been left to their own devices.

Shaking her aching cranium, the girl just shrugged. Looking out the window she noticed that dusk was finally coming about, and night would soon settle in over the district. '_Well, if I can't do anything right now, then I'll worry about it all later. I need some 'me' time anyway.'_ Perking up ever so slightly, the spatula wielding warrior started to march. A bath sounded great right now! '_Maybe if I can just relax, I'll be able to think clearer, and then I can fix my problems… I can make this work! I just need to sit down, and-'_

It was at that moment, that all of the lights in the Ucchan simultaneously shut off. The power was out.

Ukyo blinked; staring off into the growing darkness around her. Slowly her hands began to clench and her face started turning red. She absolutely couldn't- it's not- why did thi-; she paused though. Wait a second! Maybe the power would turn on if _she_ just wanted a second!

It didn't.

Ukyo screamed.

"ARRRRRRGHHH!"

* * *

Being pilfered into the night by a duo of horrible bird-beast abominations was probably one of the more disconcerting experiences that a certain female Saotome could remember; in recent memory at least. After being assaulted, betrayed, and embarrassingly, defeated, she dared to even bump it all the way up to _terrifying_, but with the way said two feathered fiends acted, it seemed that no matter what emotions stirred in her, it all boiled down to an abject feeling of rudimentary annoyance.

"Okay- okay, now hold on, we took a left, right? And by right I mean left? I'm right, right? No wait…" Sitting down in a makeshift camp, far away from their recent victims, Koruma, Masara, and Ryoga sat staring out into the dead of the night. Currently they were all quite lost, as the darkening skies sapped what little awareness of their surroundings they had; forcing them to land in an adjacent cave area to settle in for the evening. The boy with the black wings didn't see fit to just wait it all out until morning though, as he toiled over the map they had brought along with them.

"Oh would you _just_ give it up man? We'll deal with things once the sun comes out!" The archery expert of the squadron was not in the best of moods. He was _tired_. He had just come back from a hard earned victory, and now all he wanted was to catch a little shuteye. It seemed though, as he lied down on his spread open sleeping bag, that that would just not be the case at the moment. That _stupid_ little hammer would just. Not. Stop. _Talking_! It was driving him crazy! What was worse though, was that their mind controlled pig-guy-thing was egging her on! Like he was trying to make things more insufferable for them! And all the while Koruma just sat there, with that confused idiotic look on his face! It was enough to drive the white winged warrior to drink!

"Now, now, remember; heroes never sleep, my friend! We must always be at work and stay vigilant, or else!" Ryoga exclaimed as he tossed another small log into their fire. Things had been going just swimmingly for him and his companions. Evil was thwarted, and they came away with the prize! And despite its annoying demeanor, the heroic warrior peace-bringer just knew that the mallet could be put to some use for the side of good! "We've still got a long road ahead of us, so keep your chin up!"

Masara just sighed as he shook his head. "_God_… I'm going to have to put up with you for this entire trip, aren't I?" He began to articulate his hands at his reluctant companion. "Days and days of- of… _this._" His shoulders just sagged. "You know this is all your fault, right?" He pointed to Koruma. "_You_ were the one who did this. I just _had_ to opt out on programming him, didn't I? I _knew_ you'd just screw up."

Kiima's favored swordsman just placed his map down for a moment and raised an eyebrow at his companion. "Well then it's _not_ my fault then, is it? You had your chance but ya didn't help, so _I_ did all the work!" Koruma gained a slight tinge of smugness in his voice. "If he really bothers you that much, why don't you try and actually and help me out here? Then we can get home faster!"

"I got a better idea, how about both of ya just wring each other's neck's, and get it over with, huh? It'd save my friends a ton a trouble!" the red chúi butted. She was currently watching the conversation from a nearby assortment of packs and items. "I swear, you jerks are gonna get it! It was just a dumb ole fluke that ya beat us out like that!"

Ryoga just shook his head as his chiseled features stared down at the evil weapon. "Justice is blind, not dumb, you miscreant! And I suggest that you brush up on the fact that, in the end, good _always_ triumphs. Your petty threats hold no ground."

"Ah, _geez_, Ryoga, stop actin' like a Kuno! Ya gotta snap outta it, they mind-blitzed ya!"

"He's not going to acknowledge any of that, you know." Koruma interjected. "I totally got that part covered." A nerdy little grin made its on to his face. "Super villain mind control rule number one! It doesn't matter what you make em' think! Just that you make em' think it!" He shifted his beak over to the pig-boy. "As long as he's under our control, he's not gonna question anything that we say! Isn't that awesome?"

Ryoga just let out a hearty belly laugh. "Haha! Your words baffle and amuse me, my egg laying friend!"

The swordsman just gave a toothy grin. "You are _so_, _cool._" He gestured his thumb at the supposed redhead. "He's like a big action figure."

Masara just rolled his eyes. "Uh-huh, we can talk about your dumb comic obsession _later._ You." He looked at the chúi. "What's your deal? Why are you a hammer, and why can you talk?"

Ranma was slightly taken aback by the query. "Wait a second, are ya tellin' me that you guys don't even know about the person ya kidnapped?" A feeling of indignation formed inside her. "Well alright then, if we're playin' 20 Questions, let me ask you guys _this!_ What the hell are you Phoenix people doing? What do you guys want from me?"

"Pfft, hell if I know." Masara bluntly answered.

"Yeah, gee, I've been wonderin' about that too!" Koruma parroted.

"…The heck?" Ranma responded; flabbergasted.

Masara simply shrugged. "We have no idea what the hell's goin' on, really." The archery expert huffed. "I mean there was the Captain, and like, a jewel or something, and we were on vacation, and I just wanted to relax, but then she got really _pissed_, and then we just got out _here_… and- and I _really_ don't know." The white winged one just crossed his arms; feeling quite disgruntled.

Koruma, his lips pursed, began to nod determinedly. "Yeah! We don't even know your name!... I mean, do you, you know, _have_ a name?"

The warrior heir's eyes just narrowed. "What the hell are ya talking about? It's me, Ranma Saotome! Don't you remember?"

The two boys just gave each other profound looks. The question of, "huh?" seemed to be the general topic of discussion between the two.

Ranma frustration was palpable at this point "What? I- Ya _know_! _Pigtail_, kinda a martial artist… kicked your king's _ass_, that Ranma Saotome!"

Masara merely just blinked a few times. "Holy crap, you're the weird man-lady that beat the stuffing out of Lord Saffron!"

Koruma gasped. "_Wow_, first you're a girl and now you're a hammer? That's- well, that's… really sorta weird." He started to scratch his head.

Ranma snorted. "Oh man, _tell_ me about it!"

Ryoga just gave several distinct nods in response. "Yes, but it all makes sense in the end, _doesn't it_? It's clear as day." He looked towards his fellow compatriots. "You may have defeated good on one occasion, but justice's wrath could not be evaded forever, could it? So you went into hiding! And through months of-"

Masara smacked Ryoga upside the head.

"Cram it; we don't need a bunch of stupid rants right now."

Ryoga looked down slightly, like a dejected puppy-pig.

Ranma just rolled her eyes. "Geez, you people… Ya know, in all the half a dozen times I've been kidnapped, why did every one a them have to be by a bunch a lug nuts?"

The black winged boy just frowned. "Well now that's just _rude_! I mean, I dunno what a lug nut is, but just cause we kidnapped you doesn't mean you have to be so mean! You'll hurt people's feelings if you keep acting that way!"

"_I'll hurt more than feelings if I can get a chance…"_ the red chúi sardonically mumbled.

Koruma either ignored, or just didn't hear the remark. "So, _anyway, _changing topic,how'd you end up turned into a hammer, huh? That's gotta be somethin' to tell! Did you _want_ to be one or something?"

"_No_!" Ranma quickly rebutted. "It's a long and _stupid_ story. Why do you guys want ta know?"

The sword wielder once again took the forefront of the conversation. "Well it's not everyday that you get to meet a talking mallet, especially one that wasn't born that way! I wanna know what happened! It's probably _really_ cool."

Ranma just grunted as her eyes drifted off to the side. "It ain't _cool_. It's _dumb_, and _boring_, and nothing goes right! It's one a the worst things to ever happen ever! Why would I want ta tell you guys anything?"

"Cause it's past midnight, and apparently no one around here knows the concept behind sleep?" Masara rhetorically asked.

Ranma snorted, and began to mumble to herself; trying to decide whether she should tell or not. Would it really matter in the end? Her triad though slowly reached resolution with a sigh, as she directed her eyes over to the awaiting crowd. Deep down, she felt the need to vent. "It's like this, okay? That dumb idiot Happosai tried ta use a magic spell on me for somethin', and it backfired! He used that orb a transmutation thing, you know the one? And I got turned inta the way I am now! But that's not the half of it..."

The Saotome heir followed up by beginning to recount, to her best ability, some of the events that took place during the previous week and a half or so. From lumberjacks to mafia wannabes, the girl's story continually grew stranger and further nonsensical, and the words coming out of her mouth starting to sound more like a rant, rather than her weaving a tale. In the end, neither of the two were really anymore informed than they had been thus previously.

"…And that's _another_ thing, don't even get me _started_ on fish people! Those guys are like, total jerks; almost as bad as chicken wranglers, but ya know that's more of Akane's deal… Man, whatever, do you all get it now?" Ranma's voice was starting to strain from exasperation.

"My head hurts…" Koruma mumbled.

"And _you_ think we're the crazy ones?" Masara asked.

Ryoga just rubbed his chin. "I liked the part with the dashing rogue in the bandanna."

Masara though turned to Koruma. "Wait, wait, hold on, I think I _did_ get something outta that. Didn't she say that that orb-thingamawhatsit was like, an Amazon item, or something?"

The swordsman sucked in a breath at this realization. "Wait, yeah, she sure did! What do ya think that means?"

The bowman just shrugged. "Heck if I know, probably nothin'."

Koruma nodded in agreement. "Yeah, who cares?"

Awkward silence pervaded the room for a scant moment.

"Aw well, no point in sittin' around and doing nothing! While you," Koruma looked towards Ranma, "were going off and talking for that whole time, I've been looking over things on the map! It turns out we were flying in the right direction _after all_! Isn't that great?" Noticing he didn't get a response from the chúi, he continued on. "At this rate, with the way we can fly, we can make it all the way to Mount Phoenix in just a few days! Then the mission's done!"

Ranma didn't like the way that sounded at all. Her voice filled with mild trepidation, she inquired further. "Yeah? And just what's supposed ta happen to me then, huh? You obviously got somethin' cookin' up!"

Masara just grumbled at the hammer's incessant whining. "Like we said, we don't have a damn clue."

"But I bet it's something cool!" The swordsman of the squad squeaked. "We go to all the trouble to get you here safe, so there's _got_ to be a good reason! Maybe you'll be used in like, a super doomsday device weapon-thing! You could be the, you know, core component! And once you're added in, we'll take over the world and stuff!" The Phoenix warrior had flown the coop with his ideas.

Masara simply sucked in a breath, and rubbed his eyes. "Yes. Yes. Hidden deep within the hollowed out corridors of Mount Phoenix lays an unstopped death machine that's key to functioning is a talking hammer. That is the complete truth."

The sword wielder just let out a gasp. "Aww shucks, ya it is? Oh well get this! I got a ton more a theories! Okay, okay, get this, have you ever wondered why bathroom soap…"

As Masara attempted to become temporarily deaf, Ranma tried to take all the ramblings and incessant story-telling in stride.

Sadly though, she failed miserably.

* * *

Hours in the past, but not many, a lone Chinese boy was strolling through the streets of Nerima, and generally just enjoying the brisk night atmosphere around him. Mousse was having a pretty darn good day! The old ghoul had relieved him of any sort of work that he had to do, and he managed to spend his time properly resting and recouping from his long journey across the country. He spent a good hour or so sitting in the furo, he cooked himself a nice dinner, read the paper, and just took the freedom in

There was that whole bit of news about Saotome dying or something, but screw him he's a jerk.

Still, he had other things to attend to. Earlier today, Ukyo had run off to go look after her store, and to see if everything was copasetic. He hadn't heard a word from her since then, and he was starting to grow a tad bit curious. She and he had become relatively close in an extremely short span of time, and seeing her run off like that make him worry, if only just slightly, and so her felt the need to check in on her.

It was at the moment, as he walked along, that he noticed a somewhat open and unused lot right across the street. Upon focusing he eyes, he gazed on what appeared to be a homeless transvestite picking out bits of scraps from a trashcan. '_Wait a second…'_ He recognized the fellow. It was the rather odd boy who worked for Ukyo. What was his name?... '_Konatsu!'_ That was it. Still, it left him wondering just _what_ exactly the guy was doing. It especially didn't bode well if one of the Kunoji girl's employees was sorting through garbage. '_Well, while I'm passing through, I suppose…' _ With some trepidation she slowly marched over.

Scavenging was an art. At least, that's what Konatsu thought. The ability to search the area around you, and make due with the items others had deemed worthless gave the poor pauper a sort of Zen. A loaf of only half-moldy bread, a can a soup only _two weeks_ past its expiration date, and a perfectly good salmon so openly thrown away because it was a little green, were merely just _some_ of the treasures he had picked up that night. "Ah ha! Jackpot!" His rummaging hands had come across a half-eaten can of peanut butter! He was eating like a king tonight!

Before he could feast upon his literal spoils though, a white robed warrior approached him to make contact. "Umm, excuse me; are you, uh, Konatsu?" He asked; making sure to hold out his hand in an attempt to look trustworthy

The cross-dressing ninja was a little cautious at first; mostly out of habit than anything else, but he recognized the guy's face. He had come into the Ucchan at least once or twice before. "Ah, yes, that's right, I'm Konatsu. And you're- you're…"

"Mousse."

"R- Right, Mousse…"

An awkward silence carried itself throughout the air. "Umm, so uh, are you okay? I mean, what- what are you doing?..."

"Oh ah, uh…" Konatsu looked at his small pile of refuse he was collecting. "Stuff?"

"Well, it's just that- well it looks like you're- like you're picking through trash for food…"

"Well ah; some things sort of happened…" The ninja just rubbed the back of his head. "I mean, with Mistress Ukyo…"

Mousse blinked at this. "Really? Is she okay?" He was slightly worried. Something must have seriously been up.

Konatsu opened his mouth for a moment, but then closed it; unsure of what to say. "Umm, well, yes. I think she's okay- I hope! It's just that I think I sort of messed things up, kind of…"

"Did you undercut the prices for the okonomiyaki?" Ukyo had informed him of some of her assistant's more hair-pulling quirks.

The kunoichi's face just scrunched up. Who was this guy? His visage grew a little bit red. "I did the best I could! We wanted to sell okonomiyaki, so that's what I did!" He crossed his arms and looked away.. "But then she got mad at me, and then fired me, and then- and then! Waaahhh!" Once again he burst into tears. Masculine tears. Masculine, masculine, tears. "I don't know what to do!"

Mousse's eyes just rolled as he watched the figure before him blubber. "_Listen_, I'm going to go see her right now. I'll mention you and see what's up. Maybe it's all blown over, and you could come back. "'Unlikely'_, _he internalized. '_If Ukyo really did kick her co-worker out like that, then she probably has a good reason… Let's just hope the guy didn't do too much damage.'_

The ex-Ucchan employee sniffled about for a moment as the tears slowly ceased to strewn. Wiping away a few falling droplets, he turned his head up to the boy. "You- *sniff* You really mean it?"

"Alright, sure, why not? I'll try and put in a good word for you, I guess."

Konatsu let out a gasp as he started to jump upwards and downwards for a moment. "Oh! Thank you, thank you! I wouldn't know what to do if you hadn't come along!"

"You'd probably still be sifting through a bunch of garbage cans." Mousse replied in deadpan.

"Oh! I'm still going to do _that_!" Konatsu remarked by waving his hand off. "There's a lot of cool stuff that you can pick out in here! You should try it!"

"I- sure… next time, of course." '_freak.' _He looked down at the non-existent watch on his wrist. "But look at how late it's getting! I've got to get leaving. I'll go and make sure things are okay at Ukyo's restaurant. You just- you just do whatever you're doing."

"Oh, I will!" The enthusiasm in Konatsu's voice was ill befitting of the task at hand. "There's still plenty of stuff to look through! I even found a box I could sleep in, so no covering myself in rocks tonight! Things are looking good!"

Mousse silently and awkwardly took his leave.

* * *

The Ucchan was eerily quiet as Mousse approached. If it wasn't such a ridiculous idea, he'd be slightly worried that he was walking into a trap. Still, he put his guard up when no one answered him at the door. Looking around inside he saw that the place was oddly barren. His first impression was that someone had up and ransacked the place or something But that idea was momentarily pushed to the side when he noticed the calming sight of dimly lit candles that were emitting a warm glow all around store. Someone had clearly set them up on purpose.

Not hearing a direct response for a good moment, the quirky quacker bravely ventured forth into the (mostly) dark abyss before him. "Ukyo?" He called out a second time, and once again he received no response. His feet guided him rather aimlessly. He knew little of the layout to the building, only the main dining area, but his keen instincts kept him at a steady pace.

As he meandered further, he reached an area where the lights of the candles ended; a single door with the word "Furo" marked on it. "_Ukyo_?" No response. Mousse grimaced. He'd been in this situation before. He knew it _all_ too well. He'd walk in there, see the young chief, she'll screech, and then he'll get pummeled! Well _no_. He wasn't going to have any of it! '_I've obviously come at a bad time. I'll just turn around, exit the building, and come back to-'_

"Oh, hey there sugar!"

"Wah!"

Standing right before Mousse's scared witless form, was the brown haired chef he had just spent the last several minutes searching for. She was dressed in a casual form of attire, with a large dark blue T-shirt covering her all the way down to her hips; partially concealing the loose and comfortable shorts she was donning as well. "What are you doing, and when did you come in?" She asked the still mildly flabbergasted boy, as she hefted the small box of assorted supplies she was carrying into the washroom and over to the bathtub.

"I ah, well, sort of was, you know… looking for you I guess?" He rapidly shook his head to regain himself. "To check in on things." Glancing about he saw that the furo itself seemed filled to the brim, "Umm, were you about to-"

"Ooh! Well that's nice of you honey! It's always good to see a friendly face," she stated; placing her box down before the great obstacle before her. "Especially at times like _this_."

Mousse's lips pursed. "Yes… this place seems a little well, _off_ at the moment." He tried to downplay things as much as he could. "What- what exactly are you doing?"

Ukyo's tone grew a tad nonchalant. "Ah, just trying to fix a little problem here. Don't you worry about it Mousse." She gave an annoyed snort. "_Konatsu_ screwed up _again_."

The Chinese warrior took a step forward. "Ah, yes, I heard you were having a few issues with him… The guy told me himself when I passed him on the street."

"Mmm." Was her reply, as she hopped into the tub; a manual drain declogger in hand. "The guy screwed up. _Bad_. He sold everything in the store! For practically free!" she stuck her hand down the drain of the furo, and started to yank. "Then it turns out he forgot to pay the electric bill!" She pulled harder. "And then!-"Hardest tug. "He actually somehow blocked the furo with-"Up came her hand. "Hair." She looked at the clop of strands in her hand; a mild disgust on her face. "He somehow clogged the tub with _hair_." The water around her was now actively draining, as she tossed the dirty mess haphazardly to the ground before her. "Sorry about that, sugar." She stated turning to Mousse. "Geez, I just took a bath and I feel like I need to wash _again_!"

"I swear, if it's not one thing, it's another. I just wanted to try and relax, you know? Take a bath. But then the water wouldn't drain!" She jutted her arms out forward to gesticulate. "It's _all_ stupid Konatsu's fault." She started to rub her temples a little to try and calm down. "So wait, you said you saw him out there?"

"Yes. He was looking through trashcans for food I believe. Said something about rocks too; I don't know." He crossed his arms slightly as he face scrunched. "So he's the reason your power's out and your stuff's gone?"

Ukyo let out a huff and rolled her eyes. "Damn right he is! I couldn't leave him alone for two seconds! You saw what it was like in there! The whole place looks like it got looted!" Her words matched Mousse's thought process almost entirely. "Now I don't have any power, and I don't have anything to cook with! He's a complete and utter idiot!" She stopped for a second, before turning to the Amazon before her. "So why'd ya come all this way honey? Was it just to see me?" Her brow furrowed slightly though. "Wait... he didn't try to get you to come here to change my mind, did he?"

Mousse raised his arms up slightly in defeat. "No- now just wait a second! What do you take me for?" He stared down at her for a moment, before his demeanor roughly shifted. "Well, okay, yes, he sort of _did_, but that's beside the point!" Seeing as how he only got a hardened glare from the girl, he quickly continued. "It doesn't matter though, from what I'm hearing you were in the right; if that's the case why _should_ I defend him?"

Somewhere, a boy sleeping in a cardboard box grew slightly colder.

Ukyo stared on a bit longer, before her face broke out into a fit of sniggering. "Hnk! So- so you came all the way here and you you're not even going to try and bail him out?" She grew a cheeky smile on her face. "How… _un-noble_ of you." The two started making their way out of the bathroom.

"Now Ms. _Kuonji_, I'm kind of shocked!" Mousse gasped out. "_Whatever_ gave you the idea that I was _noble_?" He gave her half a smirk as he laid it on thick. "Just think of all the times I tried to do in Saotome. I can count the amount I attempts to do it honorably on a single hand." He raised his digits to demonstrate. "Of course though it was all for a good cause; I just wanted to win over my beautiful Shampoo!" A sour expression made its way on his face when he thought this. His current progress with the girl had not been going well. "But I didn't come here just to help your freaky friend. I wanted to check in and see if everything was going well." He once again looked at the empty eatery around him; now that he was less focused on keeping his guard up, he could truly un-appreciate how _dead_ the place looked now. "Apparently they aren't."

"Hehe, yeah sugar, they sort of aren't exactly…." Her mostly upbeat tone dropped a bit as she said this. "I'd well, offer to make you something to eat, but I really don't have anything to cook, or to even cook _with_."

Mousse and the chef took a seat down by one of the remaining tables. "Ah, don't worry about it. I'm not exactly hungry anyway," the duck-boy stated in response. "How are you going to get this place up and running again though? It looks like it's going to take quite a bit of work."

Ukyo looked away slightly, and her fingers began to tap about on the table before. "Ah, well, I'm sure I'll figure something out honey! I know a few people; I can probably get a lot of the ingredients and stuff pretty cheap. It's restocking everything _else_ that's going to be a big pain."

Mousse hmm'ed and haw'ed a bit as he heard this; looking at the girl before him made him feel slightly worried. She seemed like she was holding up okay, but even _he_ could see the strange twitching movement she ever-so-slightly did when she started to get really thinking. "Well…" He raised his hand in a contemplative manner. "Maybe…" Oh geez, he knew he shouldn't probably even be considering this, but just looking at her he felt the need to intervene. "Maybe I could help out?" He hoped this wouldn't bite him back in the end.

Ukyo blinked several times when she heard this. "Help out?" She let the words roll off her tongue as she heard this. "What do you mean by 'help out', sugar?"

Mousse began to scratch his head a little. "Well, I mean, I suppose I could lend you some extra things... I _do_ own some personal cooking supplies." A few pots and pans, some various utensils; it wasn't a whole lot, but it would probably be enough for her to get on by at least.

Ukyo's face practically _lit up_ at this. "Oh! That's so sweet of you Mousse! Thank you! That'd be one less thing I'd have to worry about!"

He didn't exactly understand why, but seeing the young girl before him just _beaming_ made the duck-boy's face flush ever so slightly red. "Oh, hehe, it's no problem!" He began to rub the back of his neck. "Hey, you know, maybe I could do a little extra to! Do you think you'd need some on-hand help around here? I could do some cooking…" He blinked. What the hell did he just say?

The okonomiyaki chef's brow just arched a bit in surprise. "Y- you mean like work as a chef here or something, honey?"

Oh God. '_Me and my __**stupid**__ mouth!'_ It just sort of slipped out when he said it. "Ah, well, I guess yes?" Smooth. "I mean, I'm sure we could work something out. The decrepit old mummy _does _might be willing to spare me a few hours if I explained your situation. Besides, sheonly really makes me do morning and afternoon shifts… Maybe I could help cook for the dinner-time rush?" '…_What the hell did I just offer?'_

The young female chef's grin grew wider when she heard this; she found the prospect of having someone who was actually competent for once actually working with her to be a rather appealing idea. She paused though for a moment and pursed her lips. "Now hold on Mousse. I really appreciate the offer and all, but you don't have to do anything like that!" Her head tilted slightly to the left. "I've been through some pretty crazy stuff you know! A little bad weather like this isn't going to bring me completely down! You don't have to worry about it!"

Mousse knew he probably _should_ take her up on the out she was giving him. It made the most sense; it would probably get him into the least amount of trouble, and was likely just the smart thing to do. But still, looking around at the ram-shackled building, and then back at Ukyo, he knew deep down that she needed a hand in all of this. It just wouldn't be right to throw her to the wayside. "Nonsense, it's fine! Hell, it could actually be kind of fun, I guess. It's not like I don't _enjoy_ cooking, and considering the old ghoul tends to move me towards such _prestigious_ duties as floor sweeping, this might actually be a good way to wax off my skills!"

Ukyo just jutted her hand forward, and clasped it around the Chinese boy's digits. "Oh Mousse! Thanks a _lot_! I _really_ appreciate it! Having you here will make things so much easier!" In the past several hours the young Kuonji girl had found herself a little lost. With all the things going on in her life, and all the troubles piling up around her, she was left completely befuddled and unsure. Having Mousse around there, after everything they had to put up with, would be a great help. And she knew that he could be trusted! The whole volcano incident proved that!

Mousse used his remaining hand to begin scratching the back of his head.. "Haha! Don't mention it! It's no problem at all!" '_Oh my God, __**what**__ the hell am I doing?' _The young Chinese duck-boy was currently knee-high in pigeon stool. He had no idea how he was going to work this, but he knew it was going to end badly regardless. The second he even mentioned his current plans, Cologne would likely just up and bash his skull in. And then there were the thousands of other issues toppled all over things that needed to be addressed too. How much time would he have to put into this? Would he be delivering as well as cooking? _Hell,_ was he going to get paid? But most importantly, there was one gaping issue that the Kuonji girl had seemingly forgotten.

"What about Ranma?"

"Hmm?" Ukyo released her group on the boy's hand. "What about Ranchan?"

"Well how are we going to work things? Are we still going to go searching for Kiima?" Mousse crossed his arms and grew a serious look on his face.

Ukyo's eyes widened further than they already were. With all the things going on in her life at the moment, the simple fact that she was originally planning to head and out hunt for Kiima once again had slipped her mind. '_Ooh_, _this is bad…_' Her restaurant was in no proper shape currently. It simply was not operable. Work clearly needed to be done. There was also the apparent issue that she had fired her sole assistant, so she couldn't even get him to help out.

"I- I don't know…" She tilted her head down and began to start rubbing her temples again. "Do we even have a lead on her yet, sugar?"

"Not any more than we did yesterday. It's only been a few hours since we've been back in Nerima."

This was all too much. Ukyo was barely two steps in the door and she was already having to process so much information.. "I- I _really_ don't know Mousse. I- my _store_! It's completely ruined! But- but I don't want to let Ranchan down!" A cold feeling crept down her spine as her mind drew a blank. Countless possibilities and options all jumbled together to make a fine mess that yielded no viable results.

"He- hey!" His features grew slightly more concerned. "D- don't worry about it all right now! You just got back! Just deal with priorities! He tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible.

"But Ranchan _is_ a priority!"

Mousse started to grit his teeth a bit. He honestly just could not understand how women could somehow become so infatuated with the gender-changing imbecile. It just completely boggled his mind. Still, it was a simple matter-of-fact that both of them at least needed a few more days to recoup from their travels. Heading out right then and there was simply unfeasible. "Listen, I know that he's your fiancé, but you have to keep perspective! He's in good hands right now, even if he's in danger! You've got to make sure that _you're_ okay." He theatrically looked around the building before him. "And well, I really don't think you are at the moment."

Ukyo simply let out an exhausted sigh, as she slumped slightly forward. "Maybe you're right Mouse. I don't know. I'm just so confused right now!"

"You need to get your bearings." He bluntly replied; his tone nonchalant. "Forget about him for a while, and just try to get everything else settled first. It's the smart thing to do."

Mousse, though arguably not the best person to talk to about the matters involving Ranma; especially considering he'd likely throw the pigtailed boy into a wood chipper if given the was opportunity, was still for the most part making sense. Maybe it was the fact that she was completely and utterly worn out, or the fact that her brain was one more missing set of utensils away from short circuiting, but it seemed to her that right now, the path of least resistance was the one most appealing. "I- I guess.' She leaned her head back a bit. "I have about a thousand things to do in the morning. I've got to go and pay the bills, and then try and restock things. I've got a _bit_ saved up, so I should be able to squeak on by…. hopefully."

"Well, that's settled then!" Mousse's tone changed to be a bit more upbeat. "I'll make sure to bring over some of the supplies I was talking about earlier. So long as I can escape from that decrepit old mummy for the five minutes it would take me to do it." He let out a quick huff. "How long though do you think it will take you to get this place back up and running?"

It was Ukyo's turn to cross her arms, as her face scrunched ever-so-slightly in consternation. "It's going to _at least_ two days, sugar. And that's if everything goes right." She turned her head away and let out a snort.

"Well then that's fine!" Mousse kept his enthusiasm. "Until then though I'd suggest that you just relax for a while; from what I'm understanding it seems like you haven't had a chance all day."

The brown haired Kuonji girl just let out a bit of a chuckle. "Heh, yeah, you can say _that_ again."

Mousse tentatively looked around and inwardly cursed that the room was currently lacking a clock. He knew it was getting on rather late into the evening though, and it would probably be a good idea to start heading back for the night. "Hey, listen, I should probably ge-"

"So what exactly do you do to relax, honey?"

Mousse blinked. "Excuse me?"

Ukyo seemingly began to lightly up slightly. "_Well_, I mean, this place isn't exactly an entertainment center at the moment. Hell, I'm afraid to use the furo!"

"Ah, we, err…" Mousse was caught off guard. He wasn't sure exactly how to respond at the moment. "Well I don't know. You might not like the way _I_ relax.

Ukyo raised a brow. "Oh come _on_! You lived out in the wilderness for years! You have to have figured out a way to keep yourself busy!"

"Well, the Amazon village _does_ have quite adequate technology, but ah, err…" He stuck his hand up his sleeve and began to look befuddled.

"Well spit it out already sugar! If it's interesting you could show it to me, or we could both do it together!"

Mousse's hand began to fiddle around his sleeve some more, and his face grew consternated. "Well…"

_Half an hour or so later…_

"Got any two's?" Ukyo asked.

"Nope, go fish!" Mousse exclaimed; his harsh poker face dropping for a moment. "Sorry it took so long to find the cards! They were really hidden up there, but man this is so much fun! Usually I just play solitaire!"

* * *

"…And that's why, right next ta_ c-cats,_ wolves are the worst animals ever!"

A day after the harrowing encounter with the two bird-boys, a certain black hammer and his purple haired holder found themselves currently taking a small break from their hot pursuit in a quick attempt to restock supplies in a small village that they were passing through. Or rather, Akane was attempting to restock supplies, while Shampoo and the chúi rested on a nearby bench. The Amazon girl wanted to help, especially because of her language skills, but Ranma insisted that she take it easy after her recent injuries. It took a bit of goading, and an assurance from the young Tendo girl, but she eventually agreed. Which all in turn left both of them alone and sitting on a park bench; letting the cool breeze of the air ease them from the moment's worries. It was the calm before the storm.

"I no _know_ airen…" Shampoo had a rather amused tone in her voice. "I met plenty of wolves before. They aren't all bad!"

"Well you never met a werewolf! And let me tell ya, they suck… Err, _bite_, but that's a whole other thing!" Ranma's voice grew a scholarly tone to it. He had been feeling slightly more energized than he had been yesterday. "I mean, just look at Ryoga! Ya see the guy's teeth? He has some freaky wolf fangs and stuff! And come on! That idiot screwed us over big time!"

Shampoo's lips pursed slightly at this. "It- it not really _his_ fault Ranmas… He put under too too bad egg magic-spell!" Memories of her time as Kiima's mind-servant were not exactly the girl's fondest. She'd been rather purposefully avoiding bringing the matter up. It was by and large the most shameful thing she had ever succumbed to, and the single fact that it almost tore what little relationship she had with Ranma at the time apart made it all the more worse. She'd been lucky so far at being able to avoid bringing it up, but with the recent events involving the Hibiki boy, but a conversation about the matter was very likely to come about soon. She just hoped she could postpone it for as long as possible.

A small wily smile formed on the purple haired girl's lips when she thought of something. "_Besides_, doesn't Ranmas always call pig-person _pig_? How can he be wolf too?"

Ranma fell into deep contemplation for a moment. "_Well_, I guess he's like some sorta pig that got bitten by the wolf-man! So he's kinda… both, huh!"

Shampoo just grinned. "Airen you is real crazy crazy person. Sometimes, I wonder if maybe _you_ no speak Japanese that well! Hehe- hrk!" The girl lurched forward a bit as a sharp pain stabbed itself through her abdomen.

"Shamps!" Ranma's features grew fearful as he saw her gritting her teeth. "Ya gotta take it easy, remember! Ya don't just take a blast like ya did and walk away!"

The Amazon used her spare hand to wave him off as she nodded. "I'm- I'm okay Ranma. Is just a little pain." She leaned back a bit on the bench. "I be all better real quickly. You no have to worry."

"But still…' The chúi continued to feel a bit distraught. He _really_ wished he had a body right now. He just felt completely and utterly useless. Seeing so many people fighting for him, especially Shampoo, made him really appreciate what good friends he had. Except Ryoga, he was a jerk! "We got a whole trek ta go before we reached Mount Phoenix. Ya need ta be in tiptop shape if we're gonna storm the place and get the other me back. It's gonna take a whole lotta plannin' and 'strategizin'' if we wanna pull this off right."

"We can do it Ranmas. No matter whats I want you know that I no let you down! Shampoo care about you too much!" The Amazon's voice filled with determination as she said this; despite still being slightly sore. A good half of what she wanted to gain out of this experience was to show to her airen that she really did love him, and to make sure that no matter what, she'd do anything to make sure that he was okay.

If Ranma could blush in his current state, he most certainly would. Instead he opted to become a mild bit flustered. "Ah, uh… yeah, thanks Shamps…" Still, her response raised a question that had been nagging at Ranma's mind for what seemed like ages now. Just _why_ exactly did Shampoo seem to care about him so much? He knew there was the whole kiss of marriage thing going on, but over the past while he had been with her; even he was able to notice that she was far more devoted to him than what some silly oath would most likely dictate. '_I mean what exactly makes her want ta be with me and stuff? I know I'm strong and can fight and stuff, but there's gotta be a bit more to it!' _ Ranma's voice grew slightly hesitant. "Hey, uh, Shamps, can I ask ya something'?" He paused for a brief moment. "Sorry if this is kinda outta the blue, but ah, why do ya _really_ want ta marry me and junk? I mean what makes ya think I'm all that better than someone like, Mousse or somethin'?"

Shampoo blinked at this statement; slightly surprised at the turn of events.

In fact make that _very_ surprised.

Was her Airen actually asking about her engagement to him in a serious manner? Was he raising a point to indicate that she was openly a legitimate fiancée, worthy of his time and attention? Was he trying to reach out with an olive branch of love, which would lead to years of countless doting between each other, going on special dates, and eventually marriage and children? Could it be true? Her mind was racing! '_Oh no, what should I say? He wants to know why I love him, but there are so many things! I've got to say something smart- I've got to- I've got to say something right!'_ She internally gasped. _'__What if I screw up? What if I say something that I don't mean! My Japanese still isn't perfect, I could ruin everything! Then what would happen?' _Her eyes grew shockingly wide. _'__We've still got the whole rest of the journey left! What if I tell him something and he gets mad? I sill have to fight and get the other Ranma back! Things would be so awkward! And then Akane would be there to just gloat!' _Her mind continued to blast about at a mile a minute, going through dozens of dozens of possibilities and outcomes that would end everything horribly.

Ranma though just stared on at her confused, as the girl in front of him held a vacant, if not slightly look appearance on her face. "Hey, uh, Shamps?..." He got no response. Her eyes began to glaze over. "Listen, if I said somethin' stupid, I didn't mean ta-'

The hammer though was cut off when the purple haired girl's gears got going again. "Ah! No!" She intelligently remarked. "I's means… it not anything! Hehe." She backpedaled with a laugh, but tried to calm down as best she could. "Umm, sorrys airen, I's just get distracted for second. But your question…" She gave herself one last pause before stepping on the landmine. "Ranmas, Shampoo- Shampoo like you because you is good persons!" Her face twitched a little at the way she said that. "I means, yous may act really silly sometimes, and say things you no want to say, but you really are good! You always help people when they need it, and make sure no one ever ever _really_ gets hurt; when it be about fighting, or other things!" She grew a slight blush of embarrassment. "I knows you always have to put up with whole bunch of craziness, but you no let it get to you; even when other peoples make fun or do stupid stuffs! I no's really blame you if you get confused and angry about things. I would go real crazy if I had so so many people wanting to marry me's!" Her embarrassment grew slightly more. "I also knows I sometimes no real help. I's do's stupid stuffs to get your attention… but I only do it to show I care!" Her eyes shifted downward. "Out of all peoples who try and get kiss of marriage from me, you not only first one to beat me, but first one to not make stupid huge deal about romance."

Shampoo was practically on a roll at this point. Over the time she knew Ranma, she grew to find more and more things to like about him. From his cocksure attitude, to his often times downright heroic antics, the Amazonian heiress had practically grown infatuated with him. She had thought that come the day she would finally be able to bare her heart to him, and show her feelings beyond such minor frivolities as free lunches and hugs, she would be completely prepared. But everything right now left her quite jumbled up. Her much anticipated confession was now out and out turning more into a way to vent out some much needed baggage. "Mousse can be good friend when he want to, but he is too too pigheaded! More then pig-_person_ even! He always talk about his love, and how he care, but _he_ no care about the way it hurts _me_!' she lifted her free arm up in exasperation. "When walk around village, he always go about how he marry me, and how we make too too good couple! It embarrassing!" She stuck her tongue out slightly in disgust. "I super powerful martial artist, but he always follow me around like super weird dog who no know to go home! I no get any space! When Shampoo leave village, I think I be rid of him for while, but he just come here too! Shampoo just want to be left alone!" She stopped momentarily, and grew quieter. A thought just occurred to the girl. "I- I guess that what I been doing to you airen all along, isn't it? Shampoo just crowd you and no give you chance to breath. I'm sorry."

Ranma was mildly flabbergasted at the amount of information being thrown at him. He didn't exactly know what to say or think. Shampoo didn't blame him for all the stupid romance stuff he had to put up with? She didn't think it was his fault, and that he was just being indecisive and cowardly? Akane always got on his case about how he should man up and toss out all the other girls if he really wanted to be with her. But it wasn't easy! He wanted to figure out a way that he could make everyone happy without hurting their feelings Plus the attention he got was pretty nice too… but it was mostly the other one! This, regardless of anything else said, struck a particular chord within Ranma. "I ah, it's okay Shamps, It's not like I don't like bein' around ya and stuff! You're actually a really great person! I just sometimes got a lotta stuff ta deal with…" His voice trailed off for a moment. "But what you said about not blaimin' me and things?... Thanks. That's really nice of ya! Hehe." It was his turn to be somewhat embarrassed. "I don't get a lot a people willing to cover my back on stuff, so to hear that coming from someone is actually pretty nice and stuff!"

A small but growing smile formed itself on Shampoo's face as she heard this. She was glad that at least so far that she hadn't screwed up. "Aw, it not big thing Ranmas. Shampoo just saying what she is thinking! Hehe." '_I've got to make sure to stay calm. Airen won't like it if I get all gooey on him. But still! This is almost like one of my stories! Only with a few more inanimate objects…' _ "Shampoo also think you is good because you always find way to put up with bad things that happen to you! I's means have too too stupid panda pop pop, lots of really weird rivals, and a whole bunch of crazy crazy magic you have to put up with, but you still no give up! Even when you get turned into chúi you still want find way to get you fixed! Most people would just go coo coo if that happen to them!" The girl made a swirling gesture up at her temple. "Shampoo think that really really great of you! It inspiring!"

"Hehehe… hahaha, ha..." Ranma at this point was quite certainly _flustered_. Although he may not have technically _had_ a head right now, all the praise he was getting was definitely going _somewhere_. If there was one way to get on Ranma's good side, it would have to a good healthy ego-boost. But beyond any of that nonsense, hearing all these kind words coming from the Amazonian warrior made the chúi honestly take a bit of a reevaluation of her. Before this whole mess involving him and the orb started, his opinion on Shampoo was basically that she was a meddling Chinese girl with a really creepy curse. But slowly he had grown to realize that there was a lot more to her than simply that. She was loyal, strong, and actually a really nice person. She was also creative and smart. Watching her train and fight was really something! He could completely relate to the sheer diligence that she put into the work; with the way she would just spend hours struggling to try and better herself. He had also semi-reluctantly come to the conclusion that she really _was_ a beautiful looking person. From her exotic hair to her… _c-catty_ smile, she was honestly quite breathtaking to the eye.

Still, there were a thousand matters going right now that had to be dealt with. And for the most part he did not know how to deal with them. He did _lo-_ _lov_- really like Akane. And they had been through so much together… It was all too confusing. He wasn't sure what to do. The one thing though that Ranma did in fact know, was that maybe getting to know the young Chinese girl before him more wasn't such a bad idea. He had never really given any of the other girls a real chance. At least not in _that_ way, but with all they'd been through on this little adventure, the Saotome heir felt the need to at least not give Shampoo the snub. _'We did plan out that whole trainin' routine an' things… Maybe I could get ta know her better then. I dunno. Geez, this stuff is way too friggin' confusing!' _All the black hammer knew though was he really did have some hard thinking to do. Though, looking over the current state of his appearance, there _were_ certain other matters that needed to take precedence before anything else. '_Gotta get back ta bein' __**human**__ first before talkin' about relationships and junk. Have ta have priorities straight.'_

"Hehehe, hm, err, thanks Shamps. I think ya actually cleared a whole lotta things up for me right there. I really appreciate ya spillin' your guts an' stuff. Ya didn't have ta go that far, but it's nice ta hear your opinion about everythin'."

Shampoo internally let out a sigh of relief as a hard blush formed on her face. Did she do good? She hoped so. Hearing what she was hearing from her airen right now made her think she just might have, but she didn't want to get too cocksure about things. She never would have guessed a long cylindrical object could make her so nervous and red-faced! "Ah! Thank yous Ranmas! You is actually real good listener! Shampoo think _she_ actually needed that _too,_" still, she would take what she could get.

At that moment though, an intense and fast moving blur began to zoom directly towards them; going at seemingly mach speeds! "Ranma! Shampoo!" Akane stopped dead in her tracks as she reached right in front of them. On her back she held what appeared to be a bevy of parcels and supplies. From what looked several un-pitched tents, to packs upon packs of packaged food, the blue haired girl held just about everything a well-versed camper would need for an extended expedition. "Get off your butts! We've got to get out of here!" Without even giving them a second to response, the young Tendo had jetted off into the distance; leaving a cloud of smoke in her wake.

"…What the heck was that about?" Ranma blinked in confusion as he looked up at his equally befuddled companion.

"I… I no know airen. Maybe-"

Before Shampoo could finish though, a soft but growing rumble could be heard from not so far of a distance away. If one had a keen eye, several dozen small but quickly enlarging dots could be seen rushing towards them from the town center.

It appeared that Akane had somehow infuriated an entire backwater Chinese village.

"_Uh oh,"_ both them simultaneously spoke.

Without missing a beat, Shampoo had bolted up, suddenly feeling that her injuries weren't _quite_ that bad; especially considering the types of insults being thrown out by the nearby general populace. "We go now!"

As she spoke this, a fast flying bullet shot itself right past her ear.

They were carrying guns.

This was not a good sign.

Soon a second updraft of dust was shot into the air as Shampoo moseyed her way out of there; quickly catching up to Akane, who wasn't entirely heartless enough to leave both of them behind.

"Geez ya uncute tomboy! What the heck did ya do?" Ranma's tone grew frantic as several more shots rapidly roared past them. A chorus of rabbles erupted behind him. Even with his rudimentary knowledge of Chinese, he could easily make out the "Get them's", and the "Catch those crooks", as well as something particular rude the group's various mothers.

"Well what did you expect you idiot?" Akane's voice was as banging as the bellowing of the barrels of the bullets being blasted. "We had no money! I had to…" She raised her arms up in a shrugging gesture as her tone grew exasperated, "_improvise!"_

"Akane _stole _all those things?" Shampoo gasped!

"Oh I am _so_ calling you on this later!"

"Shut up Ranma!" The rage wielding warrior was in no mood!

"Well what the heck are we suppose ta do now?" A pitchfork just flew past the hammer's head. "Ya pissed off the whole town!"

"Well how exactly was I suppose to know that they'd care that I ransacked one little general store of theirs?"

"Stupid stupid dumb!"

"Shut up shut up shut up!"

"Umm, _peoples_?" Shampoo continued to dodge the projectiles being shot at her. It appears that they were working with fruit at the moment.

"_What_?" Ranma and Akane both shouted; their voices filled with rambling rage.

"I think we actually going in right direction for Mount Phoenix. We maybe can just keep on running!" The purple haired girl knew the geography well enough. She was quite sure.

Ranma blinked. "So we just keep on goin', and try an' lose these bozos along the way?"

Akane twitched. "What the hell kind of plan is that?"

"Is better than nothing!" Shampoo sneered. "Besides, I can test and see if I feeling better by running!" The Chinese girl tried to at least look on the bright side

Another shot flew past Ranma. "Well, it ain't like we got much of a choice right now... so, umm…" Ranma cleared his voice in an official manner. "*Ahem* Alright then people; hold on to yer butts, cause if we can outrun this stupid mob, we're headin' to Mount Phoenix!"

* * *

**12/26/10: Completely renovated. **


	13. Enemies, Escapades, and Exposition!

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own the rights to the works of Rumiko Takahashi, I am simply writing this for my sheer enjoyment.

**A/N: Huh, I haven't updated in like, four months. Let's fix that.**

* * *

Mount Phoenix, for the most part, was a quaint little place. Although it was, in every way and sense, a horribly intimidating battle fortress of death ruled by an army of militarized avian-monsters, its people, and the nearby village occupying the base, were an unpresumptuous and hard-working folk who just so happened to produce their own feathered pillows. Guided by their oh so benevolent king and protected under his banner for centuries, they survived the continuous march of civilization to form their own little niche in the world. But with their ruler's recent defeat, a rather raucous ruckus has started to stir in the heart of Phoenix's people; a ruckus that, for certain individuals, was starting to become harder to ignore.

Kiima sat, not at a grandiose throne, but in a small, stuffy, and frankly crowded away room hidden off to the side of the King's seat of power. In it stood piles of packed away paper; each document discussing matters more pointless than the last. Seated at the core of this mess though, was the bird matriarch herself; a consternated look on her face as she fondled what appeared to be a dark purple object in her hand. The Orb of Transmutation- a very important item that she had come into possession to much by happenstance, had, in recent days, grown to become a key tool to a rather amusing plan she had concocted up to ease her tribes' woes. But that was a matter for another time; she had slightly less interesting tasks to handle.

"Would I like to institute mandatory child labor for youths starting at the age of six?" she paused; staring across at the document with the utmost intensity. "_No._" Kiima slammed her vetoing stamp down. "Just who do these people think they are?" she said with a sigh, "Those fools! Six year olds? Wait until seven at least; they don't have the muscle mass yet, it'd be entirely counter-productive!" Rubbing her forehead, the bird mistress reshuffled her parchments and shook her head. "Honestly, my advisors are growing mildly more incompetent by the day! They're going to have to completely restructure this proposal, with _proper_ stapling next time!"

"Lady Kiima, Lady Kiima!" her thoughts were momentarily interrupted though by a call from one of her messengers. "My *huff* Lady…" a young phoenix tribesman mumbled; having rushed into the room. "They're back Ma'am, you requested to be told when they'd returned, and your two Lieutenants have just flown in to the palace!"

The white-haired woman's eyes lit up upon hearing this. _Finally_ those two dolts had made it. She'd swear it'd been months since she'd gotten any reports from them. "Quick, were they alone? Did they bring anyone with them?"

The courier stood at attention. "They came by themselves, Ma'am. Though they did say they had an important package that needed delivering, but they insisted they had to show it to you themselves."

Kiima nodded. "Good, good, that's expected. Send them in then, and afterward you're dismissed."

As the messenger saluted and went about, Kiima fell into deep thought. The circumstances getting to this point were bizarre at best. She ordered both Masara and Koruma to monitor and possibly retrieve the transmogrified Saotome, after she had to quickly take her leave due to some business back home involving a rather serious plumbing irregularity that had been growing over the past months; the look on that one soldier who got his face melted off practically haunted her for minutes. Regardless, the thousands of variable that could change and affect the current situation kept coming to the forefront of her mind; despite her mild endearment to the two, their competence was highly questionable. Sadly, or more accurately, frighteningly, they were the best she had.

Her thoughts were snapped away abruptly though at several sharp shouts that were elicited from beyond her doorway. "Hey, that's my tea!", "Ack!", "Where are his?...", and "I've got this, I've got this," were the bellows that filled the halls outside her chamber. Her left brow rising, Kiima slowly stood upward; prepping herself for whatever shenanigans she may have to deal with.

*Swoosh!* was the sound that could heard as a trio of boneheaded buffoons bumbled into her abode. Both her lieutenants appeared to be roughly in the same shape as she last saw them, but the newest addition, a rugged Hibiki-boy in his quickly cobbled on clothes, could be seen shambling towards her as well.

"Ahaha! Sorry about that Lady Kiima! Everything's fine out there, just a bit of a mix up!" Koruma dusted himself off as he looked over his shoulder incase of incoming issues. "Hehe, sorry we're sorta late, too! We've had a few mishaps along the way. The weather out there is just terrible!"

Masara just grumbled. "You could've waited an extra five seconds, you know. Once we were inside I'm sure it wouldn't have been that hard to ask for some hot water for your pig-toy-thing."

Ryoga, his mind still sabotaged from his prior hypnotic conditioning, simply slapped Masara on his back. "Haha! There's no need for semantics my bow-based brother! No harm no foul! You did that young girl a service by bedazzling her with my well-sculpted form!"

Kiima rolled her eyes. "Yes, well, I see the programming you nitwits set in is very much in effect, that's for certain."

"Oh yeah! Your two buddies did a _real_ nice job screwin' with pig-breath's brain. Ya know, ya coulda just smashed a rock over his head till' he was stupid, that might a saved ya some effort there!" Held within the confines of a box Masara was currently manhandling, Ranma sat; away from any sort of prying eyes that might take interest in her gaping gob. "Ya know, I'd say it was nice ta see ya, _Kiima_, but someone forgot ta leave the flap open on this thing!"

A look of realization coming across Koruma's face, the black-winged boy quickly grabbed Ranma out from her container. "Now hold on! I told you! _Behave yourself_. Every time you act up, you go back in the box."

"Cram it chicken legs!"

"And once again I am greeted by the young person who so _effortlessly_ defeated our emperor; in the form of a _hammer_, no less." Kiima slowly strutted over to the chúi; taking in the red weapon's appearance as much as she could. "My word, even I have to admit that this is completely silly."

"Yeah, that's me alright, Ranma Saotome, official ass-kicker of the king of turkey dinners, at ya service, lady."

"Yes, well…" Wasting no time with further pleasantries, the current sovereign of the Phoenix people bent down to near eye level with the hammer; taking as serious of a tone with her as possible. "As much as I'd like to have a little chit-chat, may I ask, do you even _know_ why you're here, Saotome?" Her words dragged out as her completely serious interrogation of a talking tool began.

"Nope!" Ranma flippantly remarked. "But not without tryin' though! Your two bozos ain't got nothing goin' in their skulls up there or somethin', cause they ain't tellin' me squat!"

Kiima simply just glared slightly; mildly annoyed at the girl's "In-your-face" attitude at the moment. "Well that _would_ make sense. Those two don't know the plan yet; though I _do_ thank you for your random baseless insults of them, it frankly saves me time," as Ranma just sneered her, the de-facto empress simply turned away. "We'll get to all that in a moment though." She looked over to her henchmen. "So where's the other one?"

Koruma blinked. "Other one?"

Masara looked away and muttered several curses under his breath. "Well, it's a long story, kind of."

"The villainous artillery gun managed to momentarily escape from our ever vigilant eyes!" Ryoga, his speech getting more flowery by the syllable, stepped forward. "But fear not, the glory of good will prevail in the end!"

The bowman of the group simply scoffed, as he turned to his slightly simpler cohort. "_Who_ talks like that?"

"Quiet." Kiima waved her hand off. "So, from what I understand, you _don't_ have the other hammer; the male one?" Her tone grew more annoyed with each passing word.

"Ah, no." Koruma grimaced. "Is- is that gonna be an issue?"

The current Empress's brow just furrowed as she slowly clenched her fist. "Why I-" Before she could go off though, she paused; glancing down at the chúi. "Actually," with a nature of mild curiosity in her voice, she moved by over towards her desk. "I'm not quite sure." She picked up the orb from her table; it emitted a dark purple glow that, while not overpowering, provided a constant stream of dull light from its form.

Ranma's false digits brightened. "Hey wait a second, that's-"

"You have a gender curse, right?"

That instantly raised warning signs in the Saotome's head. "Who- who wants to know?"

"Yes, you do. And from what my assistants, and-" she looked towards Ryoga, "Our clever little mole has told us, both your forms were split once you were transmogrified." Kiima's lips twitched upward. "That's _very_ interesting."

A chill ran down Ranma's hilt as she heard this. Something about this woman gave her the heebie jeebies. She did _not_ like the way this conversation was going. "Can ya just up an' tell me what ya want from me already? Tip toein' around like this is startin' ta get _real_ old."

The Captain held her glare at Ranma for a moment longer, before letting out a sigh and crossing her arms. "Alright then. I suppose since you're going to have learn this eventually, now is as fine of a time as any to get this out of the way." She gestured for the lot of them to take a seat on several adjacent chairs, as she moved back behind her desk.

An eerie quiet permeated the air, as not a single person in the room spoke a word. Kiima simply just continued to look directly into the young Saotome's eyes, as if attempting to analyze her very being. "You've caused a _lot_ of trouble, you know that?"

"Yeah, Akane never shuts up about how I keep on screwin' up." Ranma's eyes narrowed. "Ya know Akane, don'tcha? Ya sorta did this thing where ya _turned into her _for a while, if I'm remembering right."

"Yes, yes, that's _quite_ correct. It is such a mild annoyance to shift completely into someone else when wet. But I suppose we were all really just caught up in the moment when that plan came forth." Kiima's feature's hardened though as her words finished. She wanted to get to business. "But enough of that, the real issue that we have here is the fact that _you_ killed Lord Saffron."

Ryoga gasped! "Great Gatsby's ghost! You fiend!" Instantly his visage ignited into pure hate and fury! "I will not let this stand! Let me at the blasted thing!"

Before the partial-pig could leave the room in shambles, Masara rushed forward to restrain him. "Pipe down you mono-brain-celled idiot! He's not dead; he just got turned into a kid, or something!"

"Yeah, that's right!" Ranma interjected. "I beat the snot outta the punk, but he ended up okay! Besides, he deserved it fer messin' with us!"

Kiima stood unfazed by the antics. "Regardless of what your reasons may be, you created an issue here far larger reaching than you could have possibly imagined."

Ranma was starting to get even more annoyed than she was before. "Yeah? And just what would that be?"

A low growl began to emit from the older woman, before calming slightly. "*Ahem* "Every generation or so…"

"Oh geez no!" Koruma cringed slightly. "Do we have to? Everyone learns this when they're like, five!"

"Quiet!" Kiima hushed, "Our esteemed guest hasn't heard it before, so we'll all go over it." She once again leered her eyes downward to the Saotome-hammer. "Now, as I was saying, every generation or so, the Phoenix people go through a period of hardship; it is a decade long interval in which our High King, Lord Saffron, has to transition from his old form, to his new. He needs to grow for a time, before he can be properly aged and lead us once again."

The chúi's eyes narrowed a bit at this. "Okay, so big deal. That's what they have you for, ain't it? Are ya pissed that I made ya queen fer another long while or somethin'?"

Kiima sneered. "I _will _tell you that me ruling over our nation during this time isn't exactly peaches and roses. It's a head smashing migraine of bludgeoning proportions!" Her tone of voice lost a bit of its sinister edge as genuine distress filled the air. "But that's not the biggest issue. Lord Saffron, if you weren't aware, regulates the heat for the entirety of the tribe! With him around we have no need to fear for winter or blight! He keeps the weather temperate year round!" Taking in a deep breath, she continued. "Normally, we can deal with him not being here. It's somewhat vexing, but we stock up on supplies, make extra blankets, and just generally _ride out_ the decade, if you will." The sovereign of the Phoenix tribe grew quiet, almost contemplative, for a moment. "But then _you_ came into play, Ranma Saotome."

The red hammer was not liking where this was going. "Let me guess…"

The avian mistress slammed her hands down. "Because of you and your friends' careless rampant destruction and injury causing havoc, we now have to endure ten more years without our proper king! You completely turned our entire society into upheaval!" Her hands were bursting about in a wild manner, much in the same way as the porcine warrior was acting earlier. "We're completely on our own in this! We were expecting a total return to normalcy _this_ _year_! But statistically now everything is off! People are without food, citizens are freezing themselves! It's a complete disaster that may threaten to disband the tribe!" Leaning over the table, she jutted her index finger straight into the face of the hammer. "And it's _all_, _your_, _fault_!"

Ranma was left a tiny bit disheveled. Who'd a thunk an unplanned forced removal of a monarch from his seat of power would actually have some form of dire repercussions, let alone have them come back to bite her in the end! "But wait a second!" Ranma's tone continued to remain as hard as ever. "You guys came after us; messed things up for everyone! Ya deserve what yer going through fer screwin' around!"

Kiima though shot the statement down with a hand-wave. "Whatever excuses or reasons for things happening at this point are negligible. My people, right now, are suffering. And you can be of some use to me."

The hammer's glare hardened as much as solid ki enhanced metal could. "So what's it gonna be? Ya wanna string me up? Get a crowd goin' and throw rocks at me till I'm kooky as Ryoga over there? Or maybe yer just gonna burn at the stake?"

"I'm for that one," Masara nonchalantly mumbled.

Ranma suddenly became as feral as a non-moving, un-domesticable inanimate object could! "Come on then, do your worst! I'm tellin' ya now though; I ain't goin' down that easy! I'll smack at least _seven_ skulls before ya do me in! I promise!"

The bird mistress slowly and methodically leaned back in her chair. "Ranma Saotome, I would like to make you the incumbent king and ruler of the entirety of the Phoenix tribe."

A shocking silence filled the air. Not a word was uttered between the five occupants of the room. That was, until, Masara once again butted in. This time, not so nonchalantly.

"Oh now that's just _bullcrap_. Hey, if I beat up like, half of our standing army, could I at least get a corner office?"

At that, a bevy of ramblings could be heard around the room.

"My liege!" Ryoga yelled, as he honorably kneeled on one leg to show his willing service to his bludgeoning sire.

"Now just wait a second, how the heck does that make a lick of sense?" Koruma asked; scratching his head.

"Now just wait a second, how the heck does that make a lick of sense?" Ranma asked; an absurd amount of confusion and curiosity in her tone.

Kiima inwardly smiled as she watched the scene before her unfold. She'd been waiting to drop the ball on that one for quite a while. Oh how droll it was! Her class and wit in sense of timing and wording were simply unparalleled! Still, all good things must come to an end, even the highest of humorous situations! And with several loud coughs, she managed to settle the lot down so she could speak. "Quiet, quiet! Now I know that a few of you, "she turned towards her right-hand henchmen, "May find this confusing, but there's logic here, I can assure you." Looking once more to Ranma, she continued. "Saotome, your actions, despite their unsavory effects, were indeed a great show on strength and ability. You defeated our King while he was roughly at half strength! That is quite an accomplishment, and I'm sure the civilian population can respect that."

The red weapon grew slightly confused, especially at the way her last statement was worded. That sounded _really_ condescending! "Just what the heck are ya aiming for? You're jumpin' all over the place!"

"Our people are angry, Ranma. They're angry that they don't have a ruler. They're angry that they aren't getting the comforts that have long since been promised to them, and they're angry that they can't seem to find something to pinpoint their anger on." Gesturing at Koruma to hand the chúi over, she took Ranma and held her up face high. "I could easily have their anger pointed at you, Ranma. But know this, I am not a savage. I will not have you torn limb from limb, your very essence rended from you, as the mobs drink in the smell of your corpse like a pack rabid beasts, just so my people can fulfill their need for unending bloodlust. Instead, I am suggesting a compromise. I'll only do the other one if you make me annoyed."

An unsure tone in her voice, Ranma inquired. "Well, wh- what _sort_ of compromise?"

"We'll come up with a story; something agreeable. We'll say that every 10 millennia Lord Saffron comes under a terrible curse, or what have you. The logistics aren't important right now," another hand-wave to get her point across, "But what _is,_ is the fact that we'll make a hero out of _you_, Ranma," she jutted her finger right near the hammer's face. "They'll talk about you, the valiant warrior who came to us in our time of need to vanquish the evil in our king, and allow him to be reborn anew, for the next cycle. And now, with your personal affairs firmly in order, you can help lead our people in their time of need until our glorious ruler rises again!"

"Now wait wait wait wait wait! This- this is just stupid!" Ranma was totally and utterly flabbergasted. "You- you _really_ want me ta be your king? How would I- I don't- I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO DO ANY A THAT JUNK!" Kiima moved the hammer a bit away from her as the thing's high pitched tinny voice squealed out its last remark. Even someone who, when in a totally professional atmosphere, was trained to keep her cool, found her resolve breaking a bit in annoyance. "And besides, I'm a friggin' hammer! Ya really want a hittin' stick like me ta 'lead your people'?"

"I wish to have it on record that I would absolutely love that," Masara chimed in.

Ranma glared back at the snarky boy's attitude. "_Whatever_! This is dumb, dumb, dumb!"

Kiima though remained unfazed at the chúi's tirade. It was time she set things straight. "Now listen, and listen here Saotome, we're not going to parade you and your stickly form in royal vestments, no matter how much you obviously want it, and how amusing it would most certainly be. And even so, you won't truly be leading _anything_. You'll be a figure-head at best. You'll provide a strong, young face to the village, while I and several other key individuals provide the legislation and rhetoric for you to speak." A small, wry smile made its way on to the female bird warrior's beak. "Essentially, you'll still be a tool. Just, of a different kind."

"Geez, this must be the most pea-brained, half-thought out, _dumb_ idea I've ever heard!" Ranma kept her gaze fixed on the woman before her. "Sides' I don't even _want_ ta run your stupid tribe! I got better things ta do than play mother hen! This is a bad idea anyway; it'll probably end with everyone gettin' egg on their face!"

The bird-boss rolled her eyes at the yolks the bludgeoning beater was battering about. "Regardless, you act as if you have a choice in the matter. Let me go out and say it: You don't." The smug tone in the woman's voice made Ranma want to smack her teeth out. "I've had a few of our researchers take a look at the orb. We've come across some interesting revelations. We believe that we may be able to sort of perpetually target someone with the sphere. We could, in essence, make it so we could transmorphify you on a whim! Wouldn't that be _interesting_?" A rather disturbed amount of glee filled her tone. "You'd be walking down a hall, when all of a sudden, you're a hammer! Eating dinner with the wife? Hammer! Having a high powered interview with a CEO? Hammer! Performing a one night stand at a comedy club, while being witnessed by dozens, if not hundred of individuals? Hammer! Hammer! Hammer! You would be _completely_ within our power!" A truly raucous laughter erupted from the coo-coo woman before Ranma! She was one egg short of the omelet! Her brains were scrambled! She had flown the coop!

The hammer jutted her eyes slightly downward. She was trying to come to terms with the fact that she was dealing with a completely and utterly insane woman, and that there was a good chance she was about to become a bunch of batty-birds high school science experiment. Still, as she stared down, she noticed the particularly red hue of her transmogrified form. "Yeah well, what the heck are ya supposed ta do about this? Ya can't reverse the spell, ya only got _half_ a me here, ya bozo!"

Standing up, and patting herself down as best she could with a heavy hammer in her hand, Kiima traded off the chúi, this time with the bow wielder of the group. "Oh, can we not?" She asked; beginning to walk towards the exit door.

The rest of the party soon followed suit, with each of the rag-tag ruffians getting ready to move about once more. "This Orb of Transmutation item isn't exactly that complex. As soon as we're done here I'll have a few of my specialists see if can't work something out. I _do_ find it quite interesting that your form right here seems to be entirely independent from your counterpart!"

Ranma instantly grew more panicked as she heard the woman before her eek out her last few words Being a hammer was one thing, but a girl? _That's one step over the line._ "W-w-w-wait a second! Just what the heck are ya getting' at?"

Another dark smirk made its way upon Kiima's lips. "Well, we'll have to see, but I don't think the tribe would be entirely against a _queen_ ruling them, rather than a king. I'm sure we can fudge the story a bit more if we need to."

The pin dropped.

"NOW JUST WAIT A FINGER-LICKIN' SECOND YA CROOKED-BEAKED, EGG LAYIN', CHICKEN PLUCKIN', BIRD-BRAIN! YA HEAR ME NOW, I AIN'T GONNA BE SOME GIRLY QUEENY THINGY! I'M TELLIN' YA, I WILL NOT, NOT, _NOT_!" Ranma was absolutely infuriated! If not a might bit terrified. Ever since this latest stupid transformation, the idea that she might end up as a girl had loomed darkly in the back of her mind. Truth be told, at this point, the young Saotome heir was in no way repulsed by the curse, but to be utterly denied her true form both simultaneously made her blood boil and chill. With only utter determination in her heart, and little ability to do anything else, Ranma continued to rant; spewing whatever insult or vague angry thoughts she had out of her mind; just doing whatever she could to ensure that she wasn't going to allow something so completely _stupid_ happen to her without a fight.

Kiima, all the while paid no heed to the tiny tool's declaration, and instead directly addressed her lieutenants. "Koruma, you've been away for a long while, and though I'm sure you'd like some rest, before any of that happens, I'm ordering you to go check in on the charge I appointed to you. The assistants could use a break."

"Aww, darn it!" Koruma let out a sigh and kicked up a bit of dirt beneath his feet in sunken sullenness. "_Fine_. Guess I was just gonna have to do it later, anyways."

Turning to the white winged boy, she went to spout off to him. "Masara, I want you to show our 'future incumbent ruler" the lay of the land for this place. I'm sure it's quite a lot different coming from someone who _isn't_ battling off swaths of genetically enhanced warriors." '_Anything to get her annoying self away from me; even as a practically faceless tool I find just staring at her to make me mildly flummoxed!' "_Just make sure to make her as comfortable as possible during this odd transition, and maybe try to change her mind a bit about what we're doing here."

Rolling his eyes, the bowman kept a firm grip on the hammer. "Yeah, yeah, gotta go play baby-sitter and hare Krishna to a dumb talking tool. Gotcha. I'll make sure to keep her as interested as possible."

"Good." Kiima nodded. "And finally, there's _you_, "she said; adjusting her glaze over to Ryoga. "I actually have some plans for you that I was thinking about. You could in all actuality end up becoming _quite_ important for us. We'll see how things pan out until then. But for now, you stay here with me; I have a few matters to discuss."

Taking in a somewhat deep breath first, Kiima, opened her office door. "Now then, since all of that is completely and utterly settled and accounted for, would you each, _kindly,_ please leave my office? I have much that needs to be done before we can make all this work! We have to pull a fast one on an entire kingdom!"

*SLAM*

Silence filled the air as the trio blinked about, not a said for several seconds.

"Yeah well, that worked out a lot better than it usually does!" Koruma happily remarked, as the dust of the scene before them settled.

"That's because you kept your mouth shut for most of the time you were in there, you nitwit!" Masara's dour tone was practically a constant of the universe.

"Well it could have gone a lot worse!" Koruma said, crossing his arms. "I mean think about it! That little sidetrack we had between that pack of sentient wolves came right out of left field! It set us back like, two more days! I thought she'd have been steaming!"

"This ain't gonna happen! You guys are down right crazy! I'm not gonna allow any a this crap!" Ranma was practically foaming at the mouth at this point. She was _angry_, and she couldn't do anything about it!

"Oh geez, I'm going to have to put up with, with, _this_ now for a while, aren't I?" The bowman's brow furrowed feverishly at the idea. "I hate my life. I just, I just hate my life, so, so very much. God damn it."

"Welp." Koruma said, clapping his hands together, "You two have fun now. I gotta go take care of things."

"Now just wait a second! Where the heck are you off to, bub?" Ranma was latching on to anything she could insult at this point.

"Ah geez, it's a looooong story! But basically, I take care of Lord Saffron now! Cool huh?" The swordsman's enthusiasm for everything was sickeningly sweet.

Something though, clicked right into Ranma's head. "What? Why the heck are ya doin' that? I thought it was Kiima's job? Is she too lazy to get off er' butt and look after the darn kid?"

Koruma blinked. "Yeah, basically," he said with a shrug. "She told me that she had 'far more important business to handle right now, and that she went down that damn road for like a decade, and she's not putting up with that crap again. Hell no. And by crap, I mean crap. That kid, that kid, that kid', so now I look after Baby-Saffron when I'm not away on missions! It's real neat, but kinda tiring!"

"You poor bastard, I pity you more than any other creature on this Earth," Masara was always the type to try and stay optimistic amongst his friends.

"Anyway, I'll be seeing you! Cool job on being the new ruler, Ms. Hammer-Pants!"

As the bright but dim boy hopped off away, a short silence held in the air, until Ranma barked in. "Well what now, bird-brain? Ya gonna go give me the grand tour a the place and try ta trick me inta thinking this isn't the stupidest plan to ever make its way straight outta stupidville?"

"Well, Kiima did say I have to give you a look around the place…" Masara placed his hand on his chin, and rubbed slightly. "But damn it, I hate that woman, so no." With a snap of his hand, he started trotting down the halls. "Instead, I think I'm gonna give you a first-class look-see of my living quarters, where you'll be able to meet such high class individuals as my pet hamster, Mr. Puff-Puff, and my rather large umbrella collection that I've manage to amass due to this dumb curse. All the while, I'll be making myself a sandwich."

As the white-winged boy's pessimism filled the air, Ranma could only bark out insults and steam in her head at the helplessness that wrought throughout her. But one thing was very clearly certain for her. She was _not_ going to put allow this to happen! Whether it'd be hell or high water, she was not going to be manipulated into becoming these losers' puppet. She'd gone through all her life never having a choice in her actions, whether it'd be in what her father thought was best for her, or idiotic engagements. And it was high time she started making her own decisions! She just needed to come up with a plan, or maybe get a little help from her friends.

* * *

Several days had passed since Shampoo and her lot had made for their mad rush toward Mount Phoenix. It turned out that two professionally trained martial artists outrunning a set of civilian villagers was not in any way a difficult task, having lost sight of them a mere 20 or so minutes after their ransacking of the town. Despite that small worry though being mostly lifted off their shoulders, the tension between the teenagers could be cut with a knife, and tempers were quite certainly elevated. Toppled on all this, a thick fog of gloomy weather had wormed its way over the region, leaving the lot of them all quite angered, with the bleak surroundings not helping. And as the mountainous peaks of the Quinghai region grew to enclose their every side, the decision of what they should do about their situation became more and more heated.

"I'm telling you two idiots right here! We _need_ to go to your village Shampoo! We're no match for all those people! We're simply outnumbered!"

Akane had become increasingly more vexed at the stubbornness of her purple haired "companion" in the past few days. If the constant ribbings about her robbing that store weren't enough, her complete and utter inability to consider trying to get backup was driving the youngest Tendo to drink! Or at least burst out a few "Ogre's Roaring Rage" attacks. Oh _yeah_, she may complain now, but who was the one that was able to nab her an extra chúi? The Amazon owed her big time in Akane's book.

"Shampoo already _tell_ yous! It make everything way too worse! Little orb could start big war! We been over this too too many times! We no can take risk!"

Shampoo was at the end of her wits. The kitchen destroyer had become ever the more irritable since their snafu between Koruma and Masara. Still, she couldn't really blame her. She herself was quite a bit on edge. Frankly some of the plans Ranma had brought up to handle things were just plain silly! How would "Goin' in, chúis a blazin'" even work? He said it was good enough for that "Ram-bow" guy, but she didn't even know who he was! Nevertheless, she simply knew that she couldn't go to the village for help. If that meant improvising a little, then so be it!

"Hey, do you know what else a pretty big risk is? Going in there and getting ourselves killed! Honestly!" Akane threw her hands up in pure exasperation at this. "We've been ranting on about this for hours! I don't even know where we are right now. Can we at least stop for a second to get all our bearings straightened out?"

"Hey, fellas, hold up for a second, I think I see somethin'!"

Situated firmly in Shampoo's hand, Ranma stayed ever vigilant of the area surrounding him, which was hard, since he really couldn't see much at all right now! Plus, he'd been feeling _real_ tired lately, but no matter what he did, he just couldn't fall asleep! It was extremely annoying, especially when the only thing he could spend his nights reading was the packaging on the various chips and knickknacks Akane had managed to plunder. He figured though that worry of what they were about to face was the thing that was just killing him. Still, it was kind of exciting! As they drew closer to their target, the prospect of returning to normal again left the young Saotome grinning from ear to ear. That would be if he had ears. Or a mouth to grin with.

The point was he was happy.

But as they drew closer to their target, a new sight came approaching in Ranma's false visage. "Hey, wait, is that a village?"

"Hmm, yeah, I think so." Akane said; noticing the rather indigenous looking area right ahead of them. "But hold on a moment, there shouldn't be… le- let me check the map here."

"Uhh, wait a second…"

"Are we?..."

"Shampoo think…"

The trio of them looked upward, and then downward. Then they looked upward, and then downward, and upward, and downward, and so forth until their collective minds reached one solid conclusion: Standing before them were the high peak one Mount Phoenix, shining in all its glory down upon the civilian populated village at its base.

"HOW THE HELL DID WE GET HERE SO FAST?" one particularly vexed Saotome remarked.

"Bu-bu but!" Twisting her fingers about as she crumpled the navigation tool before her, Akane stood simply flabbergasted. "How?..."

"Shampoo _did_ think we was getting closer." she winced as the words came out of her mouth. The other two had a bit of an excuse. It wasn't like they _exactly_ knew the lay of the land around them well. She on the other hand probably would have been ridiculed by the village trackers had they seen this display. Bad weather was no excuse. "I's guess we just got distracted? Fog make things too too unclear! It sneak up on us!" a small smile formed on her face as she lifted her arms to shrug.

"Ranma you idiot!" Akane belted; her old favorite insult rearing its head again. "I thought you said you were keeping watch?"

"I- I _was_! I think I was just tired or somethin'…" The hammer's optics grew slightly dimmer as these words left his mouth.

Akane's hand slammed directly in her face as the situation before her started to come together. "There's no way we're prepared for this." her form started twitching in a Molotov cocktail of anger, surprise, fear, and pure stupidity. It was mostly the last one, really.

"But hey! Ya know what? How's this a bad thing? We're finally here guys! Ain't that great Shamps? I can finally get back ta bein' me again!"

An elated grin filled the purple haired girl's face, and the feelings of mild embarrassment ceased as she heard these words. "Is true! We almost there Ranmas! Soon you be all human again!"

"That's just _great_ guys, and I'm sorry to kill the mood and all, but it's sort of crunch time now!" Akane took a step forward as her hands gesticulated about. "What are we supposed to do? What's our plan here? Knock on their door and ask for our stuff back? Or should we maybe get backup?"

"Well…" Ranma mused, "Since we're already here, guess going to talk to the Amazons is out a the equation! We're just gonna have ta wing it and see where it gets us!"

A red hot fury filled Akane's face. "Ranma, are you crazy? Do you want us all to get killed?"

The purple haired girl's brow furrowed a bit. "Umm, Ranmas, Shampoo actually going to have to agree with Akane, at least a little. We need think of _something_ first!"

"Well, I guess…" The excitement of wanting to return back to some semblance of normality was clouding Ranma's judgment a bit here. Still, with a few moments of "Hmming" and "Hawing", as well as a sage-like nod, he jutted his eyes towards his holder. "Hey Shamps, quick question here, do ya know anythin' about these bird-brain's sense a fashion?"

"Just what are you getting at?" Akane didn't like the looks of this.

"I think I got us a plan, guys."

* * *

Masara's "apartment" was a rather odd sight to behold. In it was a mixture of subtle Phoenix styled architecture, which in and of itself was merely a rather bird-centric variation on classical Chinese styling, and a mixture of off put normality. With the way it was modeled it could look like it came out of any 20 something's small dwelling. As the female Ranma-hammer was vicariously hefted about though, she managed to obtain a decent overview of the place. Besides a standard array of a bed, several chairs, and desks, the one thing that piqued the red chúi's curiosity were the books. Dozens and dozens of books lined the shelves of the area. '_Who'd a thought this bird-brain was that big of an egg head?_'

"Welp, have a seat." Masara stated, as he tossed the chúi down on the couch. "Now don't go anywhere, okay?"

"Wasn't _plannin'_ ta." Ranma mumbled through gritted teeth, as she landed face first into the bow wielder's worn out sofa. "Ya sure know how to treat your new Emperor right, that's fer sure. Remind me ta give you the old tar and featherin' if I somehow actually get roped into this crap."

"Sure thing lady, top of my priorities, right now."

"You've got some nerve, ya know! I kicked the stuffing out outta your king like, less than a year ago! I deserve better respect than that!"

Masara rolled his eyes for what must have been the half dozenth time that day. "Yeah, I know, you won't shut up about it," he passive-aggressively mumbled, as he went to the kitchen. An egg salad sandwich sounded nice right about now.

The fiery hammer simply snorted. "Yeah well I ain't got much else ta blabber on about. Shootin' the breeze with you wing-nuts don't seem right."

"Hey- _hey_, I'm a real nice guy when I want to be. Problem is? I usually don't wanna be."

It was Ranma's time to roll her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. Yer a snarky charmer type a guy who thinks he's _real_ funny, but ya ain't. I got you all figured out."

As the chúi' said this, the bow wielding warrior marched on over; completed sandwich in hand, as he took a seat across from the girl. "And you're talking transsexual hammer who's kind of an ass. Frankly? I don't got a single thing about you figured out."

"Yeah, guess I am a sorta complex fella. And that's _right_ it's _fella_, I ain't no stinkin' girl. I'm a guy damn it!"

"You're more of a thing, honestly," Masara muttered, as he chowed down on his lunch.

"He- hey! Screw you!" Ranma whined; all the while darting her eyes around, trying to pinpoint a good comeback. In a moment's notice, she suddenly came up with one. "Yeah, well, I may be a thing, but at least I'm not a _nerd_! What's with all the books, _nerdo_? You studying up for your_ nerd_ exam? Maybe you're trying to brush up on things so you can impress your buddies at the _nerd_ convention! Nerd."

An indignant look found its way across Masara's visage, as he almost choked on his eggwich. Did the yolk somehow finally come to be on him? "Hey! You shut up about that! They're none of your business!"

A smarmy smile wanted to form itself on Ranma's face. "Ooooh, did I strike a chord? Nerd, nerd, nerd, nerd, nerd! God! You're Nerdy McNerdburg, king of the nerd books!" This was good fun. It certainly made her feel a bit better about her situation. Having to become _queen_ to a whole lotta bug-eyed, bird-brained bunch a bozos? Plans for her upcoming suicide could wait for a while. "Man, what is even in those books? Besides nerd stuff, probably."

Masara kept up his rather vexed tone, as he stood up; staring quite annoyed at the girl. "I already told you, it's none of your business. So keep your yapper shut or I'm putting you in a box!"

"Oh like I haven't spent the last _two days_ in a box! Trust me; they're actually really nice places! You don't know what you're missin'!"

"That's it. Box. Now." The white-winged boy was done playing games. This sentient talking hammer had crossed the line! He was downright mildly bemused! And on that note, he hefted her handy form by the handle, and started searching around his building. "Now where the hell do I keep those things? I know I have few empty ones lying around…"

But as Ranma was tossed and flung in random directions as Masara searched for the hammer's new cardboard cabin, the intrepid tool started to survey things around her a bit more intimately; particularly the various literary works. "Wait a second, what's with these book titles you got here? 'The Phoenix and the Amazon: A Cultural Sensitivity Guide'? 'Phoenix Politics, the ins and outs?' 'Rise From the Ashes: The Birth and Future of the Phoenix people'? Man, what the heck are ya interested in this junk for, anyway? I thought ya kept on blabberin' about how ya hate politics?"

A guttural grow began to form in the place in front of the boy's beaked biters. "Oh would you just shut it? Or at least keep your voice down? I really don't want people to hear you yammering about this. You could completely ruin my street cred."

"You've got street cred?..." Ranma quickly shook that thought. "No wait hold on, so you _are_ actually inta stuff like this and junk? Like politics?" The red hammer held a rather confused tone in her voice. "Well what the heck, man? Why are ya trying ta hide it and stuff? I mean, seems like it'd be somethin' ta brag about, more than anythin'; even if it is kinda _nerdy._" Ranma inquired, non-existent tongue firmly stuffed in her cheek.

Masara just let out a few grumbles as he stuffed his things back away and began to move far from where Ranma could stare at the items of his more personal interest. "It doesn't work like that, okay? I'm not _interested_ interested with this stuff, I just know my way around things. I'm the right hand man to the current Empress, I damn well should!" He merely huffed as he finished his statement, "I just make it seem like I don't so I don't get a lot of people all up and trying to bribe me for favors and stuff. It'd be annoying." He once more looked down at the weapon he was holding. "Also, it is kinda nerdy, isn't it?"

A bright idea started to make its way into Ranma's noodle-hole. "Hey, if you're so smart with all this stuff, then you _got_ ta know that this whole plan is a real load! I mean, can ya really see _me_ in charge an' junk? Even if I'm just a bobble-head or whatever to you people, you just _know_ I'd screw up! I'm the type that can't be trusted! Trust me!" If she could appeal to this guy's reasoning, she may just yet have an ally she could work around with.

Masara stared down at the chúi for a moment, before responding. " Ehh, yeah well, I _could_ pretty much guarantee that you would probably completely dismantle our civilization if you were given one damn iota of power, but that's the thing, isn't it? You're just there to look pretty while the rest of the people handle things," a matter-of-fact tone began to form in the boy's voice. "And let me tell you, most of the people around here are _really_ stupid. And strong. With numbers at least. They'd respect someone who they _knew_ could whoop people's asses, even if the politics are still just the same."

"But come on! What's ta stop me from just blabbin' on to everyone that the whole thing was just some stupid jig? There are too many holes!" An oddly innocent tone worked its way into the hammer's voice. "And let me tell you! I'd try and screw things up as much as I could! I'd get rid a papers, forget my speeches, make myself look _really_ incompetent, and I'd even eat all the food! Ya seriously don't want me!"

The white winged boy started to scratch the back of his head, as his eyes narrowed a bit. "Well, I guess that's what the restraints the Captain was talking about would be for. You start screwing around; you end up back as a hammer and forced to sit around in a bin somewhere. Seems like a good enough reason to keep your yap shut." Masara though, continued to stare down at the weapon, with a low hum drone out from the depths of his vocal chords. "Though, why do I get the feeling that you aren't the type to take punishment like that well? You'd probably still do whatever the hell you wanted anyway."

Ranma's eyes nodded vehemently at this. "Mmm-hmm! Yeah! I'd just be a real friggin' monster to you people! I would run this empire inta the ground! Seriously, give me like, five years, and everyone'll probably be dead! I could totally do that! It'd be a promise!"

Masara was a bit confused at this point. He had questions about the whole idea from the start. Or, at least when he heard the whole plan, which was all of an hour ago. The entire thing seemed rushed, cobbled together, and illogical. And was it just him, or did Kiima seem a tad more schizophrenic than usual? Regardless, he wasn't entirely 100% sure of this plan. It needed… buffering. "So what exactly are you saying you want me to do? Waltz up to Kiima, tell her her plan is a load of bird poo, and say she should just give it up?"

"No!" Ranma shouted, "Well, yeah, maybe? Err, you could talk some sense into her! Tell her that she needs to think this whole thing through again, cause two and turkey don't add up to make four! I mean I'm just not kingly material!"

"Talking sense doesn't get any results when our people are on the verge of rioting. And besides, you did kinda screw things over for us. Having you get off scot-free ain't exactly likely. I tell her to quit it, her next idea'll be to tie you up, and have guys start throwing rocks at you. How many people's heads did you say you'd bash before they'd do you in?"

"_Seven_." Ranma was starting to become a tad bit frustrated. She was losing ground here! "Listen, we can work somethin' out here, I just know it! But makin' me your slave-king thing ain't gonna cut the mustard! If you could just get me to the damn orb I-"

"Now hold on one friggin' second. I _ain't_ your friend here right now, got it? I am kind of pissed at you for screwing things up so badly for us in the first place as well. You're not just going to convince me right off the bat like that. I've got enough brains in my head to not out and out betray my people, at least." Masara slowly marched on over, back to his couch. "Nah, I think I'll play the field a little on this one. What's it even matter if I wait a few hours, or days, or months or whatever? Why not see how this whole thing goes? What does anyone but you have to lose in all this?"

"You guys! You guys could lose a whole lot! Believe me, I'll try!"

"We'll see. I'm not going to rush in there right now and tell everyone to stop the presses; that's liable to get me in some serious bird doo doo. Until then I think the smart thing to do is to just wait it out. They'll probably want to see you in a while, anyway."

Ranma did her best to sneer at him. That definitely could have gone a bit better. Though, considering the rough patches her and these bird-dorks have gone through, she wasn't entirely willing to give up on things just yet. Maybe if she could coax him some more… "So what exactly does waitin' it out, mean? We just gonna sit on our thumbs here, or what?"

Masara cracked his knuckles as she said this. "Well, I gotta say, you're not that half bad of a listener, honestly. It sure as hell beats talking to myself. And it's half as creepy. So instead of throwing you in a box, I think I'll have some fun. If you're going to actually end up running this place, even as a figurehead, you're gonna have to learn at least a _bit_ of how our politics work. It only makes sense. So, for the next few hours, I think I'll _serenade_ you with some basics of how our government here runs."

"Oh _joy_," Ranma murmured '_Welp, what's the kingly way ta kill myself? Off with my head? Poison myself?_ _I'll have ta think a something.'_

"Okay, let's start with the stuff I'm sure you're dying to know." Masara paused. "Do we, or do we not lay eggs?" He looked down at her as if he was a teacher asking a student a question. "Well now frankly that's a complicated question, and will probably take roughly 2/3's of the time we'll be discussing things," there was a pause. "Let's get to it, shall we?"

'_And __**quick**__. Damn it guys, are ya even out there? I dunno how much a this I can take!"_

* * *

"Okay, so you got the papier-mâché wings ready yet?" Ranma asked; his immobile form lying down on top of a rock.

"Ye- _yes_, I've got them, but they're going to look completely ridiculous! Only idiots will buy into this!" Akane was just aghast at the products she held before her. Glue, paper, some thrown on feathers, formed together to create the cobbled monstrosity that were her rushed attempt to create a facsimile to the wings of the Phoenix tribes' air-mobile warriors.

"Ah they look great! Couldn't tell em' apart from the real deal myself!"

"Like I said, only _idiots_," Akane replied, through gritted teeth.

Before Ranma could rebuke, the young purple haired Amazon merrily skipped into their makeshift semi-camp-like area, and dropped the parcels nearby her other human companion. "Shampoo back people! I brought clothes!"

"So- so did you strip them all completely?" Akane asked, as a faint blush forming on her features. She _had_ to opt out and walk away from the scene; it was too embarrassing. "You better not have done anything perverted!"

"Shampoo leave their under-thingies, Akane too too much of a prude. Besides, we do this for plan."

"That's if we're evening going to need to go through with it. Did you get any information out of any of them?" Akane was completely questioning in how this whole idea was gonna come into action.

"Mmm, yes. Shampoo ask them, _real hard_, and they say service entrance is all closed up. Shampoo think so before, but there no way we's can sneak in through back way now!" The young Amazon merely turned her head towards the Saotome-hammer. "That's why you think up plan, Ranmas!"

"That's right Shamps! This is gonna work great! We'll sneak in there all stealth-like, an' grab the other me and orb right from under their stinkin' noses!" Ranma was _so_ proud of himself. He was just so damn smart! It was an absolute known fact that he worked best on his feet. Well, metaphorically that is. He didn't really have feet at the moment. Point being, that Ranma was the king of winging it. Right now, Shampoo and Akane had just apprehended, and conked out two patrolling female guards, and had absconded with their clothing. The thick fog surrounding the lightly forested area around them made doing the task a breeze.

"I still think this plan is stupid!" Akane stated, her voice hushed, but with an edge to it. "If we get caught it'll all be over!" Regardless though, she began to don the armor. The pieces themselves were rather lavish looking, but flowed easily over her current attire without intruding too much of her movement. The wings though, were a completely other issues. By the end, she felt like she was dressing up as some stupid Halloween fairy.

"This ain't no time for thinkin' "Kane! I mean, just _think_ of all the crazy things they might be doin' to the other me over there? Hell, what're they doin' with Ryoga?"

"Ye-yeah…" The youngest Tendo began to rub the back of her neck a bit as she heard these words. That last encounter she had with him had left her a tad bit… flustered. To say the least. She didn't know why, or for what reason, but the way he acted just so, _forceful_ around her, left her completely exhilarated. She tried to shake the thought. "Fine then. We'll go and get ourselves killed, because you all seem to think that it's _such_ a great idea."

"That's' the spirit!" Ranma remarked, his tone full of high energy. "Now remember, let Shamps here do the talkin', okay? I mean, yer gonna have ta. You don't know Chinese!"

Akane sneered at him venomously, but let it slide. What he was saying _was_ technically true. Starting to yap about things in Japanese would be a surefire way to get them caught. "Fine, yeah, I know the drill."

As the group settled things, they maneuvered themselves a bit closer to their target. The main gate guarding the entrance to the village was appropriately fortified, though not entirely too lavish or ornamented. With a good chunk of the tribe's population innately able to fly in directly, hopping over such a sight was a common occurrence. Still, a particular set of watchtowers kept ever vigilant for any sort of oncoming assaults that may be amassing at the tribe's doorsteps.

This was not a luxury afforded to either Shampoo or Akane.

Attired in her Phoenix clothing and with her Airen and extra hammer sheathed at her side, Shampoo boldly marched forth; ready to fool her way to victory! There was no way this could go wrong at all!

_At all._

""Halt! Who goes there?"" was the call of a guardsman, perched high on his not-so ivory tower.

""Umm, we do! Hi there! We're the latest patrol that just got back. There's nothing to really report, just the usual sights and stuff."" Shampoo was excited! She could finally put the skills of her native tongue to good use! No longer would she be viewed as idiotic, or a bimbo! She had _power_ now! She had _control_! Those who had mocked her will rue the day they across her! She was! She was!

She was probably gonna make a few jokes maybe.

""Yeah, uh huh, I don't remember seeing you guy's faces around here all that much. You two new recruits or something? I mean, you are a little young."

""Ah, yes! Yes we are, haha!"" Shampoo gave the watcher an award winning cutesy smile. She could bluff her way through this. Totally. ""We're just starting out right now, but we're _very_ strong. I'm sure you'll hear about us real soon!""

The guard merely shrugged. He was bored out of his beak watching these people fly in and out. It was nice that these two girls decided to stop on by and enter the old fashion way. ""Ha, yeah, I'm sure. It's good to see kids like you so eager."" he smiled, and in turn turned his peepers towards Akane. ""So who's your friend? She seems a little quiet.""

Akane slightly sucked in her breath, but was quickly covered by the Chinese warrior. ""Oh, don't worry her! It's nothing! She's just ah, she's just a little _special._ See, her mother dropped her on her head when she was just a baby, and hasn't really been able to talk too good since!""

A light snort could be heard from where her weapon was holstered.

""Mmm, Humpty Dumpty syndrome; shame, my brother has that. He can bash in skulls as good as the next guy, but he's a few eggs short a basket, if you catch my drift. My condolences."" The guard though clapped his hands together and sighed. ""Ah well, the two of you want in, don't ya? The so-called '_fancy'_ way,"" with that, he pulled a nearby lever, causing some rudimentary gears to start shifting around, in the end making the gate before them slowly start to rise. ""Go on in you two,"" he said with a hand-wave.

As the door fully opened, all eyes were seemingly on them, as the various civilians on the other side who were mulling about opted to look at the rather peculiar sight before them. Suddenly, Akane felt the half a dozen or so reasons why they should definitely, totally, _not_ be there right now, were about to come to a head.

"Ah, Shampoo, they keep _staring _at us," Akane mumbled, her voice hushed as she leaned in to whisper to the other girl. Beads of sweat were already starting to pour off of her, as a bit of a paranoid glint began to form in her eye.

"_Keep quiet_!" the purple haired girl abrasively responded; an angry whisper filling her voice. "We just need to act natural," she paused. "And no speak Japanese," on that note, and with her previous thought in mind, the head-strong Amazon stepped forward. ""Ah, hello various people and citizens, there's no need to be alarmed; we're just passing guards going about our business! We're here to protect you, and make you feel safe, and not harm you in any way at all whatsoever!""

A silence permeated the air for the moment, as the stares continued on. It wasn't until a somewhat older woman, looking to be roughly in her 50's, butted in. ""Oh _yeah_, you make us feel real safe, that's for sure! What do you know? You people just fly around all day doing nothing. While us hard working folk down here are trying to harvest food, and keep people warm, and full, and not dying of hypothermia! I don't see any of you lot helping!""

""Yeah!"" was the response from another middle-aged civilian. ""I swear, most of you people waste more of your time hopping around like a bunch of idiots, rather than actually making things better for us! I remember back when Lord Saffron was in power! The hopping around was minimal, and the help was adequate to satisfactory!""

""Yeah!""

""Yeah!""

""Yeah!""

Were the collective cries of various rowdy and annoyed civilians; all of them growing slightly more antagonistic with each passing word.

""I heard they don't even care about the fact that the crops aren't coming in! They're too busy having their own stock of supplies!""

""My children have been afflicted with that _awful_ new version of influenza, and yet the medical practitioners can do nothing because they're out of materials!""

""The swine flu has been affecting us all, really.""

But before things could possibly get out of hand, a small squadron of various Phoenix goons came by to put an end to things. Armed with various beatin' sticks, foam-tipped maces, and absurdly tiny nets, the group of soldiers started "pacifying" the lot.

All in all this meant uncomfortably drubbing them until they stopped talking; it was exceedingly unpleasant and lead to various bruises amongst the lot.

It was at that point, that both Akane and Shampoo took the opportunity to abscond out of there, and into the more general crowd of the area. Regardless, or possibly because of, the fact that they witnessed a beating of roughly totalitarian levels on a crowd of innocent civvies, they didn't want to stand out all that much. And as they marched off, over into the more populated market area of the town, they were greeted with various bustling sights and sounds. People were all around them, haggling for that last crop of corn, arguing over the price of recently crafted clothing, and disputing if whether or not a frying pan could double as an effective hammer, in light of their ever dwindling supply of useable tools.

"Geez, these people are a mess. What the heck kinda bozo could a run em' into the ground like this?" Ranma asked, his eyes peering out from Shampoo's side. "I thought ya told me these guys were real tough, Shamps? Add this on top a how we blew through em' last time we were around here, and these fellas are comin' off as a bunch a wimps."

The purple haired warrior was somewhat perplexed herself. "They usually is, Airen. At least, Shampoo was told they were. I no expect them to act all like _this_ though," she responded with her voice continually at a hush. Something was seriously off here, and it was leaving her highly unsettled. The various workers, farmers, and non-military personnel all looked skinny and sickly, and there was a general sense of fear and dismay in the air all around them. Plus, she just watched all those people get randomly beaten a few seconds ago. That just seemed odd.

"Whatever, can we just sneak in already?" Akane was getting extremely terse, and the feeling of isolation brought on by the language barrier before them was starting to set in. She swore, if anyone tried to talk to her she

""Hello there dearie, you seem rather well off and fashionable, could I possibly interest you in some of my fine jewelry? They're 100% cubic zirconium!"" came the call of an elderly woman who was directing her wares towards a certain blue haired young girl.

Akane leapt back in shock as she heard the other woman start speaking to her in what would be, to her ears, gibberish. "Ah, uh, uh…"

The saleswoman was in luck, two wealthy looking girls passing just by her stall? Finally she had a chance to unload some of her cheap junk! ""Oh don't be shy! They'll look great on you! Are your ears pierced? Oh no matter, it'll only hurt for a moment!"" The woman simply leaned forward as Akane attempted to inch herself away.

As the young Tendo was about to start sweating bullets, Shampoo once more tried to jump in and deal out some damage control. And taking into consideration the approach these Phoenix soldiers had to dealing with the village's inhabitants, she, intuitively, shifted her persona just a tad. ""Ah! Do not worry about _her_ Ma'am! Haha! She is in actuality completely and utterly destitute, much like the rest of you terrible cretins! Haha!"" The Amazon's attempts at portraying a guard though mixed rather lukewarmly with her stiff acting skills. Ranma, even in his current state, could probably perform more realistically.

A slight grimace found its way unto the face of the tiny shop owner. ""Mmm, is that _so_? Well she certainly _looks_ pretty ritzy," she replied; crossing her arms and looking over the girl's clothing.

""Haha! Yes! I dressed her up that way as a joke! She's horribly, horribly poor and will literally do anything for a few Yuan! It's quite amusing! Yes!""

Ranma, though only having a little knowledge of Chinese, internally cringed at the goings on right now.

Akane herself, on the other hand, had absolutely no knowledge of Chinese, and yet, distinctly tucked away in the back of her mind that she should beat Shampoo to a pulp once this was all over.

The shop owner simply rolled her eyes. Damn those aristocrats and their sadomasochism. ""Well then that must mean _you're_ well off then, right? Are _you_ going to buy anything? Your wings are looking a little droopy. I think I have a cream for that.""

"Ah, uh, uh…" Shampoo mumbled, before, in another pinpointed strike of wit, she jutted her finger out in a random direction. ""Look over there!""

""What? What's that you're-""

And at that point, the young hammer wielder promptly ushered her other walking companion away.

"Shampoo, we're cutting it _close_ here!" Akane snappily muttered.

"Yeah Shamps, this ain't workin' out. We gotta sneak in through here, and fast. Getting' caught ain't on the top list a my priorities."

The purple haired Amazon cringed as each of them spoke aloud in Japanese. Nevertheless, she tried to appease. "Shampoo trying, peoples! This too too dangerous place. It hard to think on spot!"

Akane though was still mildly annoyed. And afraid. It was mostly the latter. "Yeah, well, can we just get a move on already? Where are we heading first?"

Her question was answered for her though, as the duo's feet led them to a rather large sight. Beyond the dotting of stalls and shops stood a tall and strong structure of a gate; secondary to the main one at the village entrance; this one leading directly into Mount Phoenix proper. Thick with iron, metal spikes, and guard towers, the entire fortification laid forebodingly against the quaint village before it. Lining the area itself was a various array of guards handling cargo. With the added unrest in the village, the gate was built as a means to segregate the lower classes from the higher ranks' domain. Plus it added a snazzy contrast to the mountain's natural coloring that just made the whole place look _fabulous._ As such, the warriors surrounding the place were armed practically to the teeth, with a squadron of at least two dozen individuals manning the frontal doorway constantly, with plenty others waiting in the wing and faffing about.

Akane didn't even have to say anything. She didn't even have to think. She just felt the harsh sinking in the pit of her gut. "Tell me again, _why_ are we not using one of the other back entrances? You know, like the one you told me you used last time?" She tried to keep a consistent tone, but the sharp edges of distraught in her kept peeping out.

"Mmm, Shamps already talked to those two guards, 'member? They closed that thing up. Heck, I would too after the stuff we pulled."

Once again the blue haired Tendo attempted to keep calm. She couldn't get mad or be afraid, or even really speak too loudly; for worry of risking drawing attention, as just several dozen yards away was their most probable destination and/or doom. Instead, she merely spoke the following soft, yet disgruntled words; "Did you- did you think that they could, possibly, at all, be, _lying_?"

Ranma blinked, "Huh, nope!" but he shrugged it off. "Eh, my plan's better anyway. They'd be _expectin'_ us ta go through the back way. It's our M.O.; we're all used to pounding around and beating stuff. But actually trying to go in the _front_? They'll never see it!"

Melt him, Akane thought. She should just toss him in a big pile of lava or something and melt him. Yes. This was her perfectly logical solution to how she would murder Ranma for what had to be the _stupidest_ situation he had ever gotten her into. She couldn't hit him or anything, so that's a moot point, but just destroying him in general would frankly be a rather soothing action that would certainly fix her mood. She could rest easy knowing that there was one less complete and utter moron in the world. "So we're going to just waltz up there, and hope for the best?" Maybe there was a part of this mountain that was like that one mountain from that one book about that one ring. Burning him in that would certainly save her some time.

Shampoo of course though was quick to correct the Tendo girl. "Oh, no no! We's got special I.D.'s!" With that, she rummaged around one of the various pockets that her armor provided. "See, look!" in her hands she held in her hands she held up two clip-on badges, with the names "Xiang", and "Huang" plastered on them. They appeared to be passes that allowed one to enter the Mountain. "With these, we get in there, save other Ranmas, and turn everything back to normal!" Her tone was so excited that she nearly blew their cover by talking too loudly.

Well, Akane figured that, at some point, she'd likely die anyway, so why not just get it over with now? With her head hung majestically low, she simply nodded. "Fine, fine." She swore, if she got out of this, she would wring Ranma and Shampoo's necks so badly that it wouldn't matter if one of them was a hammer, she'd suffocate him anyway!

With that whole matter settled and completely done with, the two warriors marched on over towards the blackened gate of pain and spikes, like any sensible individuals would.

Feng the Guard was a pretty decent fellow, or at least he liked to think so. He supported his family, paid the bills, watched over the village, and was just really an upstanding guy trying to get by in the world. It was just right now though, when he was watching over the primary entrance to the mountain proper, that he witnessed two young women dressed in Phoenix armored bouncing up towards him and his fellow watchmen.

""Whoa ho! Hey there girls, what's the rush?"" he asked, hopping down from his tower to greet the two, who certainly had legitimate reasons to be there, and would in no way leave him the scorn of his coworkers and superiors due to him allowing a bunch of kids to breach the heightened and highly competent security network of the Phoenix tribe. No, this would all go down smoothly.

Joining him for the verification was his friend Ping, but he wasn't important enough to get exposition.

""Hello Mr. Guard-person, we're here on real big important business! We just need to get on through!"" Her bubbly tone sugarcoated in an extra layer of sweetness, Shampoo and Akane quickly flashed their badges before him.

Eyeing the cards, Feng simply nodded. ""Oh yes, there's been a slew of people running about and dropping things off. Lady Kiima's been having a field day with all her new incoming supplies.""

At that point, "Ping" popped in. ""Yeah, I still don't understand what she needed all those eggbeaters for. I mean you can only horribly brutalize children for so long until it becomes slightly boring.""

""Well we have this _very_ important message that we got to give to Lady Kiima, and quick! If we don't hurry, she'll get really really mad!""

Feng shrugged a bit and smiled at her. ""Well sure, alright girls, you two seem pretty on the level. I don't see why we can't-"

""Hey, wait, hold on a second."" Ping decided at that time to take a closer look at Shampoo's card. ""Huang? Heh, funny, that's the name of this one guard-lady that that I dated a while back."" his face scrunched up a bit, but his tone remained nonchalant. ""Kind of a weird coincidence right there. Hell, even your armor kinda looks like the set she had.""

""Umm, but isn't the armor here standardized? They all mostly look the same,"" Shampoo interjected. She was starting to get a little nervous here, and the fact that Ranma was extremely quietly whispering some not very helpful advice into her ear really wasn't helping.

Feng let out a laugh. ""Haha, yes, but you crazy kids these days; always going off and 'modifying' them, and adding special little touches and such."" Feng blinked. ""You're hip young things, I'm sort of surprised you're not all on top of that," he then turned to his partner. ""Actually Ping; is this the same lady you're talking about?""

Ping rubbed his chin, ""No, no, this definitely isn't her. Huang had mauve hair; this lady's clearly got purple. You'd have to be blind not to notice the difference,"" he looked directly over toward Shampoo. "Listen, are you sure that's your armor? It's practically an exact match to her's."

""Yes, of course!"" the young Amazon shouted. ""Hold on, why does this even matter? We're on a real big important mission here! We need to get going!"" Shampoo was starting to sweat. She didn't like this; she didn't like this at all.

""What exactly do you need to tell lady Kiima?"" Ping wasn't buying this. These two were acting extremely suspicious. The quiet one over there kept on fidgeting and squirming, like she was afraid. They were up to something, and the last thing he needed was a couple of punk pranksters running around in the mountain making mischief. ""Why don't we sit down for a minute and have a little chat?""

Feng "hmm'ed" a bit for a moment as he heard this. ""Well, standard procedure _does_ dictate in this form, that should any suspicious activity be witnessed, even if it's something like a set of misplaced armor, that the potential offenders should be given a bit of secondary questioning before being allowed to enter the facility."" Feng, not being too dimwitted, let out a hearty chuckle when he saw the two girl's collective faces drain of color. ""Oh don't worry, this is all run of the mill, most everyone goes through it if even there's the _tiniest_ of problems. It'll only take a moment of your time, and then you'll be on your way. Now if you can follow me we can-""

"Oh screw it, plan B." Ranma yelped, as Shampoo drew her hammer from her waist, and hurriedly smashed it against Feng's medulla oblongata; causing a rather nasty smack to be heard across the area as his body fell to the ground; a bad bruise forming on his head. It was all terribly gruesome, and violent. He practically had cartoon birds tweeting around him. Simply dreadful.

Akane, when she saw Shampoo openly attack the man before her, practically did a double-take. Their cover had been completely shattered! Before she could think much more on the matter though, another occurrence preoccupied her attention. The other person the guard was making a break for it! Naturally, she did the responsible thing by grabbing him, lifting him up in the air, and slamming his face back down into the pavement; shattering his teeth, and likely leaving him tens of thousands of dollars in dental repair bills Ouchies.

It was at that point, upon seeing the antics, the dozen or so warriors and fighters in the surrounding area jumped into the fray, after seeing two of their comrades get awfully hurt and damaged. What animals they were! It would likely take _hours_ to get them back on their feet.

"Ranma, you idiot! Idiot! Idiot! You blew it! Our chances of sneaking in now are probably totally shot!" replied Akane, as she tenderized the stomach section of some mook who had gotten her way.

"Oh come on Kane', we woulda been found out later anyway, that always happens! Do you _really_ think we coulda pulled anythin' like this off? At least now we can just blow through stuff without thinking too subtle and ninja-like. We can finally get to the good part!"

"Is true, _real _plan was to get as far as we could before we all started beating people," Shampoo responded, as she busted the lip of some faceless guardsman who was particularly annoying her. "Now we all fight our way in and out, until we find other Ranmas and fix things! It all simple."

"How many plans have you two gone over behind my back?" the blue haired battler barked, as she bashed and battered a not so benign beaked brawler. "You know, I think you're just making this entire thing up as you go! You're just calling it a plan to make yourself seem smart!"

At that time, the sound of an alarm bell began to blare boisterously before the two battling Betties.

Amidst the chaos and unconscious fellows, both Shampoo and Akane took this as a cue to get their butts moving and haul on past the entrance. "We talk about this all laters! We no have time for silly silly arguments!"

"Now listen here you can't just-"

Before Akane could wag her finger any more harshly at the girl before her, another array of weapon wielding warriors unleashed themselves before the lot could burst through their mighty defenses. "See? This no time for chitty chat!"

Now, in response to these dozen or so individuals who had plastered themselves in the way of movement, Shampoo did the only reasonable thing possible, and promptly shot through their mighty defenses. Literally. Not wasting any time on silly games, she rammedherself right through, creating an Amazon sized hole in the wall before her.

"We's in, Ranmas!" Shampoo exclaimed, as she smiled down at the man-hammer-thing in her hand.

"We sure are Shamps! This was the best idea ever! All my other ones always seem ta fall apart at some point, so why not cut the fat? Who cares about plannin', and _strategizin', _when you can just beat people up and win anyway?"

"I think there are probably at least half a dozen things wrong with what you just said, Ranma, but I'm too tired to list them all." Akane responded, as she crawled through the hole, but not before stomping one unusually twitchy guard-turned-bowling-pin prior to making her entrance. "So what are we doing now? This room looks deserted, but they'll have people swarming this place in no time."

The area before them looked particularly ritzy, like a Chinese-styled receptionist room that led to different paths throughout the hallowed halls of the mostly hollowed Mount Phoenix.

"Well, we needs to find other Ranmas, get orb, changes you back, and get outta here! It that simple."

"And get Ryoga." Akane interjected.

"Yeah, we'll nab pig-breath too if we have time," Ranma remarked.

"This big place though, we no even know where to start looking! We no even have map!" Shampoo responded.

"I just asked a second ago, and since you two seem to be in _cahoots_ with each other on talking about plans, let me ask: What. Do. We. Do?" Akane's annoyance was palpable as she crossed her arms and stared down at the two.

Ranma though, was no slouch. "Heh, ain't it obvious?" he questioned. " We're gonna run around here like chickens with our heads cut off, searching rooms, fightin' bad guys, breakin' doors, breakin' walls, breakin' _people,_ until we find what we're damn lookin' for! Cause let me tell ya! I ain't, lyin' down on this one! I ain't getting' stuck like this! We're gonna win, even if we have to blow up this whole friggin' mountain!"

Akane blinked.

"So, par for the course?"

* * *

**7/24/11: Personally edited and cleaned up some things.**


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